The story deals with adult subject matter and occasional description of explicit sexual abuse. Not meant for underage readers. Read at your own peril. And oh, Twilight belongs to SM. This is just a fanfiction.

Beautiful Sorrow

End of Chapter 17:

Mrs. Cope didn't try to stop her this time. She sighed and quickly gathered the hot-box and the blankets into the basket and followed Bella's trail. It was a good ten minute walk back to the house, and they fell into a steady pace next to each other. Neither spoke until they reached the warmth of the residence. Bella withdrew into her room with a cursory nod to her companion. Mrs. Cope smiled at her reassuringly and as she gazed at Bella's retreating form, she wondered what it would take for her to earn the girl's trust, and if she would be able to do it before it was too late.

Chapter 18

Bella, December 2009

Back in her room, a place that was in equal parts her sanctuary and torture chamber, Bella made her way to her favored spot by the bay window and curled up into a ball.

Thanks to Sylvia Cope, her mind kept wandering off to the events surrounding Dr. Weber's dismissal. She found it strange that Mrs. Cope would ask about her friends immediately following the inquiry about her therapy.

Ironically, Dr. Weber brought up the same topic too, which didn't please her husband. She contemplated Mrs. Cope's proposition again. Logic told her that trusting Mrs. Cope as a friend would be a mistake. At best, she could be taken away from her just as easily as Alice, at worst, she could expose her treachery to her husband. Neither prospect appealed to her much.

Maybe Mrs. Cope was acting according to her husband's directions. Maybe he was testing her. What other explanation could there be for her to bring up therapy and friends in the same breath? It had to be a trap that she should steer clear of.

Amidst all the doubts, she recalled the last session with Dr. Weber in an effort to see if she could find any clues that could confirm her suspicion that Carlisle had indeed briefed Sylvia Cope about what had transpired that day. Had Mrs. Cope knowingly brought up the two seemingly unrelated topics to rattle her? Or was it really all a simple coincidence?

~CBE~

After dragging her feet for as long as she could, she finally gathered up the courage to seek out her husband to inform him that her therapist had requested his presence during some of their sessions together. She even took a quick trip to the car port and confirmed that her husband was indeed in the house. It was mid-morning, and she was loitering outside his home office, unable to go the extra mile of actually knocking on the door.

Finally Carlisle emerged from his office, looking as sharp and elegant as ever. Seeing his wife in the hallway surprised him more than he would have liked to admit, and it cracked through the ever present impassivity of his face.

"Isabella?" he asked questioningly as he quickly wiped away the evidence of being caught off guard from his expression. "What do you want?"

Bella fidgeted and stammered under his questioning stare, feeling unprepared despite spending the entire morning mentally fortifying herself for this encounter. She could have just called him on the phone or sent him a text. But somehow those methods implied a certain degree of familiarity; a familiarity she no longer had any claim over.

"Uh… Dr. Weber said… Dr. Weber would like you to come to one of my sessions. I told her you are really busy, but she keeps bringing it up. So, I told her I'd ask you…"

She trailed off nervously. Her eyes were trained on the ground and her demeanor gave away the effort she was investing into keeping her from fleeing the scene.

Carlisle considered the request with annoyance, but was successful in not letting it show.

"Why does she want me to be there?" he asked evenly.

"I don't know." She didn't want to re-tell the explanations Dr. Weber had given her. She didn't think her voice would last long enough to complete the whole spiel.

Carlisle sighed heavily. It had been a few weeks since Mrs. Cope had come to speak to him about his wife, and just as long since he'd come clean to Eleazar who'd been on his case ever since. His life was in flux, and he really didn't have the inclination to sit through more therapeutic chitchat.

"I can't this week. But I'll be there next Wednesday," he informed her curtly.

Bella nodded her head and quickly made her escape before he could say anything more.

True to his word, he showed up in the library the following Wednesday just minutes after Dr. Weber convened the session with her patient. His car and driver were both absent in the car port when she checked earlier that day. Bella couldn't be sure if he'd really show up until the very moment he walked in.

He strolled into the room with inherent ease and approached the nook by the fire place which was Dr. Weber's preferred spot to hold these sessions.

"Dr. Weber," he greeted the doctor coolly. "I believe you requested my presence here today?"

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, so good of you to join us." Dr. Weber stood up to receive him. "Yes, I do believe holding a few sessions with both you and Bella is called for at this point of her treatment. Bella has pointed out how busy you are, so I appreciate you taking the time. Come, please sit."

Carlisle took a quick look at the sitting arrangement and after a brief pause took the spot next to his wife on the couch, making sure they weren't touching, yet not too far so as to create the appearance that he was avoiding contact.

Bella was relieved and anxious in equal parts. Relieved so she wouldn't have to explain why her husband didn't show; anxious because she had no idea how this would turn out. She quietly resolved to take cue from him and hoped that none of her responses would arouse his ire, that she would be able to successfully walk the fine line of being discreet yet forthcoming.

"I call your wife by her first name. Would it be ok if I did the same with you while we talk today? May I call you Carlisle?" Dr. Weber asked with professional warmth as she began her prelude to the session.

"I'd rather you didn't, Dr. Weber," Carlisle responded curtly, setting the boundaries of their interaction off the bat.

Much to her credit, Dr. Weber didn't show any sign of being put off by his refusal. Instead, she seamlessly began talking like it was an expected part of the plan. She didn't miss however, that he hadn't directly looked at or acknowledged his wife once since entering the room, nor how she seemed to instinctively make herself as small as possible on the couch.

"Very well, Mr. Cullen. Thank you for joining us today." She paused.

"Bella, I will address only your husband for a few minutes at first, then I'd like to explore a few things that I hope you'll both share your thoughts on.

"Mr. Cullen, as you know, Bella has made some great strides since we started our work together. I'm happy to say that physically she has grown much stronger than how she was when we first met. I believe she is very committed at overcoming her dependence on alcohol and improving her health.

"However, finding a good combat method is only part of the healing process. To truly move forward and bring closure to a problem, one needs to find its roots. And I have my concerns about how willing or ready Bella is at this point to take that step. I believe one way of getting to the bottom of this could be through exploring her ties to those who are a part of her inner circle.

"Substance abuse or self harm is a complex matter that is seldom restricted to the immediate perimeters of the individual. Very few exceptions aside, it rarely occurs without any external stimuli, but the chance of a 'cure' to work effectively is almost nil if the person doesn't have a sound support system from his or her loved ones. Friends and family play a big role in all of this, which is why I asked you to join us.

"Ordinarily, I would have really liked to include Bella's parents in this process. However, I've been told that you are reluctant to involve them, or even inform them of the situation, due to her father's health condition, and to a great extent I can understand your concern.

"In their absence, we need to call in those who are next in line; in this case you, Mr. Cullen.

"I would also like to add that…" she paused as she noticed Carlisle making a not so subtle gesture of impatience with his bouncing knees and tapping of his fingers on the armrest of the couch. "Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"I am not an imbecile, Dr. Weber. I get it. Can we please skip the preamble and just get on with it?" he said with not so thinly veiled irritation in his voice, and this time it did manage to bring a slight frown upon Dr. Weber's face.

"I understand your time is valuable, Mr. Cullen, as is mine. My intensions were to ease you both into a comfortable setting. Bella and I had months of practice, if you may, but your presence here is new to her. I need both of you to feel at ease, particularly Bella. But if you are so inclined, I suppose we could get to the point quicker.

"Are you ok with that, Bella?" Dr. Weber addressed her patient directly.

Bella nodded her head in affirmative. She was just as eager to get this session over with as her husband.

"Very well, we shall move on.

"How do you feel about the progress that's taking place here? I know the last six months haven't been easy on either of you, but we have covered a lot of ground, and I'd like to think we've made some notable development since we started. Could you perhaps tell me a bit about your impression of it?" Dr. Weber said as she looked at both Carlisle and Bella expectantly.

Bella looked at her husband to get her cue and closed her mouth when Carlisle leaned forward and began to speak. "We are of course very pleased with the progress she's making," Carlisle answered for them both with clear authority. Bella deferred to his lead without hesitation.

Dr. Weber quietly took note. If Carlisle's propensity to speak for his wife bothered her, she showed no sign of it.

"Over the last few weeks I've made a few suggestions with regards to the next step for Bella. And now that I have you both here, maybe we could find a point of consensus so we can move forward.

"Until now, Bella has been living in seclusion, in this protective bubble of sorts." She waved her hand to indicate the surrounding house. "This aided in the initial phase of her recovery; it kept her away from places and people that might pose temptation or enable her to succumb to drinking again. But she can't stay in this confinement forever. Sooner or later she'll have to start venturing out into the real world again, where there will be pot holes and speed bumps that will test her resolve and strain her recovery.

"I strongly recommend that she joins an AA group. Being in the company of others who are suffering the same plight could help her to go through a rough patch much better than if she were to do it on her own. Also, the kind of trust and support a sponsor can provide is quite invaluable."

Dr. Weber paused for a moment and then looked at Bella directly before continuing.

"Bella, I recall you were quite reluctant to consider this the last time we spoke, but I told you that we will revisit this matter again. That's what I am doing now. I would like us to talk about it and ask that we discuss this together with Mr. Cullen before you-"

"No, that's not acceptable," Carlisle interjected before the doctor could finish her sentence.

"Excuse me?"

"My wife will not be going to some seedy church basement and air out our dirty laundry in front of a roomful of alcoholics. That is not acceptable," he said in a stern voice that quite accurately represented his distaste for the idea.

Dr. Weber's face betrayed signs of displeasure which she quickly masked with her poised professionalism.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm afraid you are harboring an outdated and prejudicial notion of what AA is about. It's an immensely useful resource that Bella could benefit from. I ask that you take some time to rethink your position and make an informative decision before taking such a negative stance. I would hate to see your… somewhat flawed opinion influence Bella's decision."

"However useful it may be, it's not an option for us. So, I suggest you move on to the next 12-steps program you have that does not involve my wife comparing notes with a bunch of low-life losers. That's your job; that's the reason why I hired you." His words were imbued with irritation and not so well masked resentment. He never had any personal experience with therapy before, and even though he intended for this meeting to end civilly, it was quickly spiraling out of hand. He was struggling to rein in his temper that was rising like an irrational tsunami every time the doctor opened her mouth.

"I haven't forgotten. I take my job very seriously, Mr. Cullen. That's exactly what I am trying to do here. My work with Bella is not just to oversee that she doesn't drink or purge herself, but to find out what triggered it in the first place, as well as to prepare her to re-enter the real world outside of this house. But I am beginning to doubt now if this is the most conducive environment for her to achieve that.

"Maybe you'd be open to a temporary change in the living arrangement? Perhaps Bella could stay with her parents in Florida for a little while? I can refer her to one of the best therapists there. What do you think of that, Bella? I wouldn't insist that you confide in your parents immediately; I know it could take some time before you are ready for that. But with the progress you have made up to this point, I am fairly confident that staying with them won't be too much of a challenge for you. Would you like that?"

Once again Carlisle intervened before Bella could open her mouth, this time with a noticeably raised voice.

"What? Am I hearing this right? You are suggesting that my wife, a recovering alcoholic, moves in with her parents? The parents who know nothing of her problems? In a house where she will have access to a free range of cheap beer, with no monitoring, no supervision? Where did you get your degree from?

"And how dare you suggest that this is not a 'conducive environment' for her. This is her home! This is where she belongs, and this is where she'll stay. You came highly recommended, but that does not mean you are infallible. Your methods are irresponsible, and quite honestly, I am finding you grossly incompetent in handling this case."

"My degree is from Yale, Mr. Cullen, as you may recall. And I am saddened by your… appraisal of my performance. You are welcome to verify or scrutinize my credentials and methods all you like, sir. But by attacking me, and by extension my efforts to help your wife, you are only bringing to light the concerns I've just posed about your suitability as the person to be in charge of Bella's care.

"And while we are on the topic of my 'methods', I must insist that when I ask Bella a question that you stop answering for her. This session is intended to bring together all the important people in Bella's life, so she is comfortable and at ease with the decisions she'd make now that would shape her life, preferably for the better, not to shut her up and tell her what she is and is not allowed to do. These need to be her decisions, not yours. Yet you-"

"It is you who wanted my presence here today, Dr. Weber. I am merely complying with your suggestion here. I am just participating and voicing my objections when I hear something ludicrous." Carlisle nearly hissed through gritted teeth.

The therapy session had devolved into a full blown battle of two formidable opponents staring each other down with Bella as the only spectator. There was no masking the sense of hostility the two projected towards one another.

Bella hadn't spoken a word since the session began, and she had little wish to contribute anything now. She considered pleading with them to stop, to not cross the lines of civility, but only for a moment. She was grateful that Dr. Weber wanted to help her, but she would not stick her head out or get in the way when her husband was so clearly on the war path. She was all too familiar with being on the receiving end of his wrath, but only rarely had she seen him be so openly antagonistic to an outsider.

It was Dr. Weber who stepped down from the stalemate first.

"I think it's best if we end our session a little early today. We are both somewhat out of our normal state of mind. I apologize for allowing my personal views guide my actions.

"Bella, I am truly sorry about the way things turned out today. We have upset you and I apologize for that.

"I suggest we take a step back and think carefully through what we really feel and mean to say without letting anything external influence our mood before we reconvene. Is that acceptable to you, Mr. Cullen?"

Carlisle knew he had overreacted and made a mess out of his interactions with Dr. Weber. He was always in a foul mood when it came to matters that had anything to do his wife, but something about the doctor set him off even further the moment he walked into the room.

He detected a cleverly hidden challenge in Dr. Weber's demeanor; he recognized the same mask of impassivity on her face that he himself was so used to donning every time he was among people. He felt a quiet judgment exuding from her, and once the fuse of his temper was lit there was no stopping him.

He understood that Dr. Weber was being the bigger person here, but that didn't mean he was ready to apologize. So, he only nodded curtly, accepting the doctor's offer to ceasefire.

"Very well. I'll see you next Monday, Bella," Dr. Weber said as she began collecting her papers and notes.

"Mr. Cullen, would you be joining us again next time?"

"I'll have to check my calendar; I may be traveling overseas next week. I'll have to see."

"I'd be happy if you informed me beforehand. It would give us both the time to prepare and get used to the idea so we can avoid altercations like today."

"Fine, you'll be informed," he conceded.

"I'll be on my way then. However, given your busy schedule, I'm inclined to broaden the circle a little to include close friends to join our future sessions.

"Bella, I would like you to start thinking about people outside your immediate family that you love and trust. Like-" She pulled out her notebook again and flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for. "Alice, for example. You told me a while back that you considered her your best friend but felt estranged from her since dropping out of college. I'd like you slowly begin the process of re-establishing your connection so you'd both be comfortable with the idea of her joining-"

"Alice Brandon is not welcome in my house and under no circumstances is she to be part of my wife's treatment!" Carlisle broke the temporary truce with a roar. He was only just coming down from the peak of his anger, but the mention of Alice's name shot him right back up to the crest once more. He threw a venomous glance at Bella who cringed involuntarily under its heat.

Bella recalled mentioning Alice to Dr. Weber because at the time it seemed quite harmless; Alice had no part in her life anymore and she only spoke of their shared childhood. She never anticipated that the therapist would pick the worst possible moment to whip it out. She had many concerns about today's session; she was anxious about inadvertently saying the wrong thing that might make her husband look bad. But she couldn't have guessed that she would end up in so much trouble without uttering a single word.

"I'm… I'm sorry," she said on reflex, then cringed again as she realized that she'd just compounded her mistake manifold; she'd spoken in a way that would arise suspicion to an outside observer. Carlisle's blazing gaze confirmed that much. She opened her mouth to retract her apology, but failed to form the words that would successfully minimize the damage she'd caused. Before she had time to contemplate her options, a dramatic battle sequence began to unfold between her husband and her therapist.

"I'm gathering that there's been some altercation between Alice and you that I am not aware of?" Dr. Weber asked Carlisle. "Strange that Bella never mentioned it. Would you care to talk about it, get it out in the open so I have a better understanding of the situation?"

"No, I do not want to talk about it." Carlisle spat out every word, enunciating each one for emphasis. "In fact, I want to know the precise treatment plan you have cooked up for my wife, in detail, before she talks to you again. You will not be subjecting her to any more of your quarks until I am convinced that they measure up, which as far as I can see, they don't."

"My apologies, Mr. Cullen, but I will not be sharing anything with you. My interactions with Bella are protected by the law. I am not required to divulge anything to anyone unless I am made aware of a crime being perpetrated, or I have the express permission from my patient-"

"You have her express permission." Carlisle cut her off, volunteering Bella's consent with a seamless entitlement while throwing a lethal glance at his wife, daring her to defy him. Bella didn't hesitate to nod in agreement.

Dr. Weber, however, seemed to have been pushed beyond her limits, and she chose to engage in battle instead of taking the higher road like she did earlier.

"Consent acquired through coercion is not consent. I will not submit to your whims, Mr. Cullen. You may have hired me, but my responsibilities lie with Bella and Bella alone. What I have witnessed today is highly disturbing to say the least, and has validated a number of my concerns that I was hoping were just baseless conjectures.

"Not only are you terrorizing your wife, but you are effectively blocking every avenue of treatment that has a fair chance of helping her. And by doing so, you are simply confirming my theory that you played a significant role in causing many of her problems in the first place. In fact-"

"How dare you!" His roar interrupted her mid-sentence. "How dare you pin your ineptitude on me! I will destroy you, and you will never practice in any of the fifty states again. You are fired. Get out of my house. Now!"

"Your terror tactics may work on someone vulnerable like Bella, but you don't scare me, Mr. Cullen. Before you threaten my career, please be advised that I am required by law to report to the police if I am to suspect abuse, and quite honestly, I have some very well grounded reasons to suspect just that." Dr. Weber held her ground stubbornly and perhaps to her own detriment.

Carlisle's beautiful face contorted in fury as he stood up to his full height and towered over the doctor.

"Do it. I would like to see you try. And then I would like to see you stand before the Ethics Committee and the judge for slander and defamation. Please Dr. Weber, do it. I will crush you and it will be a pleasure. Now leave," he ordered as he pointed her to the exit.

Dr. Weber was torn between her obligation to her patient and not wanting to leave her in a place so clearly unsafe, and the knowledge that if she overstayed her welcome she would be physically removed from the property. Bella released her from the dilemma by silently pleading with her eyes for Dr. Weber to leave. But the elderly woman couldn't bring herself to walk away without a last attempt to spring her patient from this unlikely prison.

"Bella, I am leaving now. I am not in a position to force you into anything, but if you choose to come with me, I promise to take you to a safe place. I give you my word that no harm will come to you and I will help you-" Carlisle took a step towards her menacingly and stopped her in her track before she could finish.

"You will not address my wife. You are no longer entrusted with her care. Leave now before you are physically removed."

The scene that played out before her eyes reminded Bella of an afternoon much like this one nearly three years ago. Only back then it was Alice who was trying to take her away from here. Alice had begged, yelled and finally tried to drag her by the arm to get her to leave. But they didn't even make it out the door before her husband intercepted them. Heated words were exchanged between him and Alice, much like today. In the end, Alice had to leave alone, never to be allowed back in this house again. Just like Dr. Weber would be leaving now.

"Very well, I'll go. Call me, Bella. I am only a phone call away." She gathered up her papers and files, and after a final sorrowful look at her former patient, she left the room, leaving her alone with her husband.

Bella braced herself for impact once the doctor's footsteps vanished in the distance. She knew talking to Dr. Weber about Alice was a mistake, but what was she to do? There were only so many things she could talk about whose constituent particles didn't lead up to the matters she was not to speak of. Fortunately, her husband showed amazing restraint despite his boiling rage and left the room after only smashing the decorative, crystal vases that adorned the mantle above the fireplace. The sparkling shards flew past her head while she curled up in the corner of the couch, grateful that he was aiming at the wall and not her.

~CBE~

Mrs. Cope remained unusually silent while they shared supper that day. She faithfully came to collect Bella at meal time, but allowed her the space and quiet that she sensed her charge needed.

Right before Bella retreated back into her room, she stopped near the staircase and turned to Mrs. Cope and said, "Alice. My best friend's name is Alice."

AN1: Story rec - Cracks in the Pavement by VampiresHaveLaws

Summary: Life is never perfect, the cracks always appear. "My Polaroid would show the face of a girl who has forgotten how to truly smile." Even the strongest of dreams can fail to become enough.

Beautiful portrayal of the demise of a love that once was. Absolutely brilliant.

AN2: Come find me on twitter: ToTheDreaming.

A huge round of thanks goes to lulabelle98, for making all this readable. I couldn't do it without her. Please read her story The Long Walk Home and The Healing Touch.

Thanks to Detochkina for pre-reading and pointing out holes the size of Chicago! She is awesome. Don't miss out on her story Sinnerman. It's amazingly unique.

Thanks to WutheringBites for validating my story at Twilighted. I am most grateful.

Thank you Archana for being my 1000th reviewer. You don't know what it meant to me. If I could, I would give you a hug.

I am thankful to all those who've read, alerted and fav-d my story. But reviews are like Christmas mornings!

Kindly review and let me know what you think. They have the power of turning me into a ballerina (in my head!) and do a perfect pointe. Do it just for that mental image, if for nothing else!