The story deals with adult subject matter and occasional description of explicit sexual abuse. Not meant for underage readers. Read at your own peril. And oh, Twilight belongs to SM. This is just a fanfiction.

Beautiful Sorrow

End of Chapter 19:

Eleazar stepped closer to his desk and lowered his heavy form into one of the chairs across from his nephew, sweeping Carlisle's face with his keen and calculating eyes.

"What's going on? Would this have anything to do with Isabella?"

Didn't it always these days?

Chapter 20

Carlisle, November 2009

Carlisle didn't say anything but his silence answered the question loudly enough.

Eleazar released a heavy breath and levelled the younger man with a stern look.

"You have to listen to me, Carlisle. You have to let her go."

"No!" he thundered.

"Yes, you must," Eleazar refuted. "What you are doing to her is destroying you just as surely as it's destroying her. I will not let that happen.

"For your sake, son, I can't let that happen," he added more softly.

Carlisle looked away, recognizing the truth in Eleazar's words that even he couldn't deny.

"You have to stop this madness. Listen to me. I only have your best interests at heart. I always have and always will. The path you are on will eat you up until there's nothing left of your soul. Revenge won't bring you peace. You know that too; have you found any in the last three years?

"You haven't, because that's not where it can be found. Turn around while you still can. I will not let you throw everything away because someone hurt you. It's not worth it; they are not worth it," he pleaded.

"I can't," Carlisle responded while shaking his head.

"Yes, you can," Eleazar countered, flattening both his hands on top of the desk as he leaned in closer to press his point home.

They had been having different permutations of this conversation nearly every day since their fateful trip together. Eleazar would beg him to step away from the path of vengeance he was on, and Carlisle would express his inability to comply.

Looking at the elderly man, his only remaining ally in the world, as they sat in a deadlock over the unending battle of will, Carlisle reflected on the night he'd come clean to Eleazar on board of their Europe bound flight.

~CBE~

"Oh, dear God. Carlisle, what have you done?" Eleazar said with a slight tremor in his voice.

Carlisle honestly didn't know what he expected the end result to be of his confession, or how he hoped Eleazar to react, but the incredulity and disgust that poured through his question came as a shock too.

He knew Eleazar to be a battle hardened man who had little appreciation for sentimentalities and romanticism. He understood business strategies and was proficient at the intricate art of multiplication of wealth. It was Eleazar who had groomed him since his adolescence to become the man he was today; he was someone Carlisle could always count on to give him the most pragmatic solution to a problem without getting bogged down by emotions and frills. Yet, here he sat, looking shaken and scared.

"What have I done? How can you ask me that? What about what they have done to me?"

"I know what they did to you is wrong. But Carlisle, they are nothing but children; you can't keep punishing them like this!"

"I can't believe you are taking their side. You never liked them; neither of them. You always told me how much you hated it that I would 'associate' with them. And now you are defending them? What the hell? I thought you'd understand... I thought you'd be on my side-"

"I am on your side! That's why I am telling you this. I'm... I don't have words for how sorry I am, son. Nothing excuses their actions; I agree. But what did you expect? She's so young; they both are. You don't have to forgive them, but you can't torment them for eternity either," Eleazar stated with conviction in his voice.

"Too young? I'm supposed to forget everything simply because they are too young? That's bull shit-"

"You have to let her go before it's too late," Eleazar raised his voice and cut him off.

"It doesn't matter what she did; you have to let her go," he continued. "For heaven's sake, just stop and think about what will happen if she dies. Can you live with that burden on your shoulders? This is not worth it; she is not worth it.

"And what of Edward, your brother? How long do you think you can keep him at bay with your anger? You raised that boy like a son. You can't cut him off from your life any more than I can cut you out of from mine." Eleazar paused for a moment to catch his breath.

"Yes, I was always opposed to how... seemingly blind you were when it came to Edward. I had my reasons. You accepted him as your brother, as Kyle's son, without so much as a spec of evidence; you embraced him and his mother like a family. It all happened so fast. No, I didn't like it. Can you blame me? Eli was my sister; I didn't expect your dad to grieve forever but... I couldn't believe how easily Elizabeth Masen replaced her in his life. After Kyle died, I hoped you'd see things my way, but you bought into her hook, line and sinker.

"Suddenly you had a whole new family. You'd do anything for them without giving any thought to how it may affect you. You were irrational when it came to them and I feared for you. My fears weren't baseless. You got hurt, remember? Not just now, but back then too, when she shut you out from her life?

"Yes, I admit, I had my reservations with regards to Edward. But it never mattered to you before-" He raised a hand to stop Carlisle from interrupting him when he saw him making a move to start speaking. "No, let me finish. I know my opinion didn't matter to you. Do you know why that is, Carlisle? Because you loved him, and when you love someone it doesn't matter what others think, or want, and it's not something you can turn off just by willing it.

"So what if I don't love Edward? You do. That's what should matter; that's all that should matter. No, I never liked Edward. At first I was convinced he was not Kyle's son, that you were being duped by his mother. But once he grew up I could see how much he resembled Kyle, and that bothered me even more. I couldn't deny the truth, but I couldn't accept him as your equal either, Carlisle. Edward didn't just look like Kyle, it was like he'd inherited your father's soul too.

"It was hard for me to look at him and not hate him for having something that, in my mind, should have belonged to you. Yes, I resented him, and I still do for what he's done to you. But you have to stop, because my feelings for him don't matter one bit; yours do. You loved him, and I know you still do. That's why you are hurting the way you are. It's fine to vent your anger for a while, but when we hurt the ones we love, we hurt ourselves too. I'm afraid right now you are hurting yourself far more than you realize.

"Besides, did you even give him the chance to explain? What did he have to say for himself? How can you be so sure that he is not dying of guilt as we speak? I know he is an immature brat, but he seemed to genuinely care about you too. He is your blood; your brother. You can cut him off from his trust fund or his credit cards, but you can't cut him out of your heart. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget the whole thing right this moment; I know you can't just brush it under the rug. But you have to speak to him; let him come home. For your sake, not for his."

Carlisle's face was a mask of impassivity as he listened to Eleazar speak, but the fury brewing within him wasn't far beneath the surface.

"Home? You want me to invite him back to my house? So he can fuck my wife with my blessing? So he can stab me in the chest as he had stabbed me in the back? No. That will not happen. He can rot on the streets for all I care. The only mistake I made was not listening to you all those years ago. He will never be welcome to my home ever again. Never," Carlisle said through gritted teeth, his anger pouring out with each word.

"Fine, don't. You are in pain and I can understand you are not yet ready to see what matters more. But you have to let Isabella go now. It can't wait. Everything you have been doing to her must stop this moment. I won't let you have her blood on your hands. As soon as we land, I want you to call Jenks and start the divorce proceedings and-"

"No!" Carlisle cut him off with a ferocity in his voice that he'd never displayed in front of Eleazar before. "She is mine. I will not let her go. She'll pay for what she did. After everything I did for her and her family, this is how she repays me? She... she deserves it. It's none of your business anyway what I do with my wife."

"It is my business! You are my business! If anything happens to that girl, if Heaven forbid she kills herself, how will you live with yourself? She is inconsequential, Carlisle; she is just a stupid, naive girl. She was never worthy of you, nor did she ever love you. Just let her go on her way. Wash your hands off and start from fresh. You can't carry this pain in your heart forever.

"Can you honestly say you are surprised? She was barely an adult when you got involved with her. She hardly knew what she was getting herself into. I told -"

"Yes, I know you told me so and I didn't listen! Great time to rub my face in it, El. Thank you! So, it's all my fault then? It's my fault I saved her family from being thrown onto the streets? My fault for wanting to give her a better life? My fault that I trusted her, that I believed her when she said she loved me?

"Fine then, it was all my fault! So I guess I should just let her run into his arms and make a mockery of me for the world to see. That's what you want me to do, El? Huh? Just let her have it all? Give her half the kingdom and the prince too?" Carlisle interrupted him sarcastically.

"So what if she does just that? What difference does it make? Would that be so bad? There are worse things in life than a bruised ego," Eleazar pointed out. "I am not trying to rub your face in it, but really Carlisle, what were you thinking? How could you be so blind and not see how unsuited she was for you from the get go? I am not just speaking of her age, though that should have been a deterrent enough, I am talking about how you could mistake her starry-eyed, idol-worshiping for love."

"She told me she loved me. I didn't force her in anyway. I asked her, El, and she looked me right in eyes and lied," Carlisle interjected, his voice uncharacteristically heavy with emotion.

"She saw you as a hero and kissed the ground you walked on; that is not love. If it were, then I should have married Audrey Hepburn! There is a gulf of difference between love and reverence. Chances are, even she didn't know it at the time, but it was clear as day to anyone who had eyes to see, she revered you, but she never loved you.

"You had her gratitude and you had her adulation, but you... you wanted more and you saw what you wanted to see. She would have done or said anything she thought you wanted to hear; you know that. She was like a puppy dying to please its master.

"Don't get me wrong; I'm not defending her actions. But what you are doing to her is... it hurts me to say this, Carlisle, but what you are doing to her is atrocious and inhumane. You are Eli's son; your mother was the kindest, sweetest person I ever knew. How do you think she'd feel if she knew her only son is torturing his wife on a regular basis?

"Whatever her crimes might be, no matter how much she deserves it, you never hurt a girl. Kyle raised you better than that; I thought you knew better than that. How could you hold her parents' lives over her head? Have you considered what you'll use as leverage once they die? What will stop her from going to the police and suing you for everything you have to your name? That is if she outlives her parents.

"Forget about what it will do to your reputation and everything you've worked so hard for all your life. Can't you see the way you are blighting your soul will stay with you long after this whole episode blows over?

"Yes, it will blow over. The only thing stopping you from moving on from this is you. You are not the first man in history whose wife cheated on him, and you won't be the last. But when that day comes, you will be weighed down by the knowledge of your... actions; everything you did, every time you... raised your hand against her will stay with you.

"I want to protect you from that. That's all I want, Carlisle; for you to be able to live with yourself. So, I am begging you now, stop this madness. You can't start putting your life back together until you leave this mess behind. Cut her loose. Forget about the whole thing, and move forward.

"Please, Carlisle. You have to listen to me. I only want what's best for you. Promise me you'll stop."

~CBE~

Carlisle couldn't bring himself to make that promise to Eleazar that night. In his heart he knew the truth of the words Eleazar spoke. But he wasn't ready to concede defeat then, nor was he prepared to admit it now. He could have told Eleazar that he hadn't harmed a hair on Isabella's head in over six months, but that wouldn't have gone down too well in negating his sins that preceded her internment into the hospital.

Eleazar had hounded him relentlessly since that trip,going as far as to offer that Isabella stay at his house in Seattle until she was well enough to make her own way into the world unaided. Carlisle evaded him so far with his silence and stubborn refusal to commit.

Looking at Eleazar now, he knew he could no longer stall the inevitable. Eleazar wouldn't be pleased to learn about the unfortunate circumstances under which Carlisle had parted ways with Dr. Angela Weber. But in the possible battle that lay ahead, Carlisle would need all hands on board, and there was no one that he trusted and valued more than Eleazar.

He realized that his erratic behavior would be viewed by Eleazar as yet another reason for why Carlisle needed to cut all ties with his wife immediately and start his own journey towards healing and introspection.

Maybe he is right.

As the thought that he'd been trying to stave off finally sank in, he also realized that maybe it was time for him to finally lay down his arms and call for a truce.

A certain calm settled over him as he finally made that decision. Taking a deep, cleansing breath he looked up to meet his uncle's gaze.

"Something happened, El. I don't think you'll like it, but you need to know about it. I... I need your help."

AN1: Story rec - Arrangement by QuantumFizzx

Summary: A hired-hand holds back her improper emotions, a son tries to honor an old arrangement, & a father makes new arrangements for reasons of his own. Maybe doing the noble thing isn't always the right thing...

This might be redundant rec as I am pretty sure you have already read this, but in case you haven't, I have a very strong feeling you will like it. It has romance, drama, comedy, angst, all blended in perfect measures.

AN2: Come find me on twitter: ToTheDreaming.

A huge round of thanks goes to lulabelle98, for making all this readable. I couldn't do it without her. Please read her story The Long Walk Home and The Healing Touch.

Thanks to Detochkina for pre-reading and pointing out holes the size of Chicago! However, she didn't get to do her magic this time. I was too distressed over this pesky writers' block that I didn't think I could deal with any suggested changes. The fault rests squarely on my shoulders, not hers. She is, and always will be, the pre-reader extraordinaire, even when I don't let her do any reading! Don't miss out on her story Sinnerman. It's amazingly unique.

Thanks to WutheringBites for validating my story at Twilighted. I am most grateful.

Thanks to Dooba, musicflare87, LPlover93, twilover76, lels2768, Vengefullover11, kare831, BookishQua, Sydney_Alice, GuardingKatmom, katinki01, shelikethesound, mamabean30, Dinx219, kare831, LadyTazz7, and mostlyalurker for WCs (whereby they wrote and I stared at the screen). You ladies rock! They are all esteemed authors. Please check out their stories.

Special thanks to Dinx219 and LadyTazz7 for being the sweet and awesome people that they are. They held my hand and told me that I will be able to write again someday and made me believe it. Please check out their stories.

Dinx writes this amazing piece called Always Leads Back to you.

LadyTazz (Jackson's Cupcake) is far too prolific to list her full contributions to the fic-verse here. She writes AWESOME lemons and has the similar kind of love for Carlisle as I do!

I am thankful to all those who've read, alerted and fav-d my story. But I hear reviews are like vaccines to writers' block, something I am afflicted with right now, sadly. So, kindly review and let me know what you think. Maybe you can cure me of this debilitating paralysis!