The story deals with adult subject matter and occasional description of explicit sexual abuse. Not meant for underage readers. Read at your own peril. And oh, Twilight belongs to SM. This is just a fanfiction.

Beautiful Sorrow

End of ch 18

Mrs. Cope remained unusually silent while they shared supper that day. She faithfully came to collect Bella at meal time, but allowed her the space and quiet that she sensed her charge needed.

Right before Bella retreated back into her room, she stopped near the staircase and turned to Mrs. Cope and said, "Alice. My best friend's name is Alice."

Chapter 26

Bella, February 2010

"Bella, wake up."

The gentle voice pulled her closer to consciousness. In her semi-alert state, Bella tried to make sense of the call. She didn't know how long she had been sleeping but it couldn't have been long enough. She froze, wondering if she should be alarmed, but then decided it wasn't warranted. She recognized the voice. Mrs. Cope; her constant companion. She didn't have to be afraid of her.

Bella opened her eyes with reluctance. The grey hue of the world outside the window told her it was far too early for her to wake up. Why was she being shaken awake at such an ungodly hour? She didn't have any task of value to perform; there wasn't anywhere she needed to be. A quick glance at the bedside clock showed thirty minutes past seven. It was just as she suspected, it was far too early.

"Wake up, sleepy head. Remember our plan? We are losing daylight, Bella. Take a shower and get ready. We will have brunch in the city today," Mrs. Cope reminded her with a cheerful voice.

Right. Bella recalled Mrs. Cope's grand plan to take her outside of the house. She had been talking about it for nearly a month now. Bella wasn't quite convinced that she agreed with her argument. She didn't share Mrs. Cope's enthusiasm, and didn't consent to the day-trip she had chalked out for them.

"Not today, please. Next week. I don't feel too good today and it's cold outside. Maybe in the spring," Bella hedged.

"Oh come on, girl. We talked about this. Aren't you sick and tired of my cooking already?" Mrs. Cope said as she moved closer to take a seat on the bed next to Bella. She continued on a more serious note, "We've talked about this. You can't stay in the house for the rest of your life. Sooner or later you will have to go out and be around people who may not know the challenges you face. They may offer you a drink without even realizing what it could do to you. You'll have to learn how to navigate through those situations. Also, you need to be able to pick out food on your own. You have reached a healthy weight, but eventually you'll need to learn to maintain it without my help. And this is the first step for that.

"Don't make me drag you out of bed now," she warned.

"I know, I know. It's just that... I'm not sure where my driver's license is... or my car keys. Next week, I promise." The trivial excuses, however true, sounded lame even to Bella's own ears.

"I am driving. And you have fourteen cars in your carport. And you have Rodney. I am sure he'd be more than happy to drive us around. Now please, get ready. I will meet you downstairs. I'm giving you thirty minutes. Don't make me come back to get you!" Mrs. Cope wagged a finger in mock threat and then left her alone to get ready.

It was February and the frigid winter was deterrent enough for Bella. But if she were being honest, she would have to admit that the weather or the whereabouts of her car keys had little to do with her reluctance to go out that day.

She hadn't been outside the Cullen mansion in nearly a year. Other than the occasional doctor's appointments in Port Angeles, she had been in near-perfect seclusion since her release from the hospital. She wondered why. It wasn't that her husband had forbidden her to leave the boundaries of the property. She could have easily gone out if she chose to do so, but she simply didn't.

Perhaps the fatigue she felt during the early months of her recovery could be blamed for her initial disinclination to venture out. But gradually her lethargy solidified into something far more crippling. She had essentially become her own keeper. She stayed within the walls of her prison, not because her husband forced her to, but because she didn't want to see what lay outside; who she once was, what her life could have been like.

With great reluctance, Bella pushed herself to get ready for their trek into town. She was familiar with Mrs. Cope's relentless nature by now. The old lady would not rest until she had accomplished her mission. At least it meant breakfast would be postponed until lunch time, which meant she probably would be let off the hook until dinner time.

Small favors.

When she went down the stairs, Mrs. Cope was waiting for her.

"We will take my car. Rodney says he'll follow. Now let's go."

Mrs. Cope led her to the carport where her old Subaru was parked. Their two-car caravan left the Cullen estate and headed towards Port Angeles at a little past eight.

Mrs. Cope tried to engage her in chit chat as she drove, but the long months with Bella had taught her what a challenge it was to make the young woman open up. She didn't expect much in terms of a response, but she never stopped trying just the same.

"So, Bella. how long has it been since you went outside the house?" Mrs. Cope asked. "I know I wasn't around for Christmas, but did you go somewhere? Europe maybe?"

Bella shook her head. No, she hadn't been to Europe, or anywhere else, for Christmas. Her phone call to her parents on Christmas morning was the only thing that stood out from any other day of her life. Carlisle didn't celebrate Christmas. He used to indulge her once upon a time; a time long forgotten. Not anymore. But Mrs. Cope didn't need to know that.

"When you were living with your parents, did you go to Port Angeles a lot?" Mrs. Cope wanted to know.

"No, not much. Sometimes my dad had to see a specialist, but usually my mom would drive him."

"So, it's safe to say you don't have a favorite haunt in town there?"

"Not really. I mean I did come here to shop sometimes, but nothing special really." Bella's responses were half-hearted, as usual.

"What about in Forks? You went to school here, right? You must have a ton of places you are familiar with, no? Do you have a favorite place here?" Mrs. Cope persisted.

Bella tried to recall her childhood and adolescence, and the numerous nooks and corners around town that she knew like the back of her hand; she and Alice. First Beach, Newton's Outfitters, Cora's Diner, the hidden clearing in the woods; all places that were nothing but fading remnants of a life left behind. Even though physically she still lived in the same quaint town of her childhood, she was no longer a part of it. The people and friendships that tethered her to this place were severed a while ago. She now floated precariously on the surface merely occupying space, but not connected to anything.

"It's a small place. They don't have fancy cafes or malls here," Bella stated while looking out the window of the passenger's side of the car.

Mrs. Cope nodded. She was aware of it. It took her all of one day to explore the town in its entirety when she took up residence there to take care of Bella. But her true goal was not to learn new things about the town; she wanted to learn new things about Bella.

"But even in a small place like this you must've had a favorite spot. Where did you hang out with Alice?" Mrs. Cope asked as she kept her eyes trained on the road.

Ever since Bella divulged the name of her former best friend, Mrs. Cope had tried on several occasions to weave the name into their conversations. Bella contributed little else other than to flinch slightly, giving away the hurt the name evoked.

Bella lowered her gaze to her lap sadly and for a moment it seemed she would not respond at all. "We'd hang out at her house mostly when I had the time. And when we were older she'd come over to the diner - that's Cora's Diner. I used to work there the summer before we graduated. We'd hang out there sometimes," Bella said in a listless voice.

"Great. The diner it is. Let's see what they have on their brunch menu," Mrs. Cope said cheerfully.

Before Bella could interject, Mrs. Cope manoeuvred the car to switch lanes rapidly in order to take the exit that would lead them back to Forks. This prompted an anxious response from Bella. She frantically twisted her body within the confines of the seat belt in search of the black Mercedes Rodney was following them in. Her husband never put any restrictions on her movements, but he did give her very clear instructions that once outside of the mansion she was to be within Rodney's line of vision at all times.

"Stop, what are you doing?" Bella asked fearfully. "Rodney thinks we are going to Port Angeles. We have to call him."

"Fine, call him and let him know we've had a change in plan."

Bella tried to recall when she had last seen her cell phone. She vaguely remembered seeing it resting on top of the bureau in her bedroom. She hadn't used the device in months. It didn't even occur to her to bring it along when she left the house; a decision she sorely regretted now.

"I left it back at the house..." she guiltily admitted.

"Relax Bella, he has eyes. He'll figure it out on his own. He saw us taking the exit," Mrs. Cope tried to placate Bella's concerns. This was the most initiative Bella had displayed in the entire time she had known her. She intended to cultivate it the best she could.

Mrs. Cope's words didn't seem to have their desired effect. Bella was just as apprehensive as she tried to convince Mrs. Cope to stop the car. "You don't understand. He'll get into trouble if he loses me. You have to pull over and call him. You have to let him know that you've changed your mind; we are going back to Forks instead."

Sylvia Cope didn't stop the car. She continued on her way to the town's only eatery. She observed the agitated form of Bella from the corner of her eyes. "Why is that, Bella? Why would he get into trouble? We won't tell anyone. We are just a few miles from home. The crime rate is as close to zero as it gets. Rodney will figure it out and find us eventually. Besides, we can call him from the diner. That way no one will get into trouble."

Her words had little calming influence, but Mrs. Cope was more curious than concerned - and maybe somewhat gratified - about the fact that something could still ignite this kind of a response from Bella, even if it was one of distress and fear. The young woman she had been hired to look after for the past months was a little more than a zombie; she didn't fight back and never engaged in anything that went on around her. It was as if she had resigned from life completely. She had withdrawn so deep within her inner sanctuary that she couldn't even be bothered to end her life.

"Don't worry, Bella." Mrs. Cope tried again to lessen Bella's worries as she watched her continuously checking the side mirror to locate Rodney's car behind them. "I promise you that nothing bad will happen to you. We will get to the diner and wait for Rodney. If he doesn't show up in ten minutes, we will call him and give him our location. We will then have a nice brunch, which Rodney is welcome to join, and then you will give me a tour of the town. How does that sound?"

Bella did not appear convinced but she settled into her seat in surrender.

The drive back towards Forks was silent. They were not far from the outskirts of town when Mrs. Cope turned her car around and soon they were in the vicinity of Cora's.

Mrs. Cope parked the car in the designated lot outside and turned to Bella.

"We're here. Now it wasn't so bad, was it?" she said encouragingly as she smiled. "Are you ready to go in?"

Bella's demeanor was once again withdrawn and impassive. She looked at her surroundings with a wistful sadness. The once familiar parking lot seemed as foreign as an alien landscape. She no longer belonged here. She listlessly watched the once known faces streaming in and out of the diner. She was not one of them anymore. To them, she was the quintessential small town girl who made it big; who got her fairly tale cake and ate it too. They would peruse her with awe, curiosity and suppressed whispers.

They didn't know.

She couldn't face them.

"I... can we please go to Port Angeles instead? I don't feel like diner food..." Bella protested quietly in her usual resigned voice, as if the outcome of her request held little consequence to her. The burst of life she had displayed a while ago gone from her voice.

Mrs. Cope witnessed Bella sink back into her pit of despair and it gave her a moment of pause to reconsider the merit of her mission today. It broke her heart to have to subject the poor girl to anything that would add to her plight, however undefined and ambiguous they might be. It felt as though she was tormenting a wounded animal that didn't have the means to run away or fight back.

She steeled her resolve by reminding herself that she was doing this to help Bella, because if she didn't no one would, and because she wanted to leave her in a better state than she found her in, should her term of employment came to an unexpected end like Dr. Weber's.

"I'm sure they have something on their menu we can choose from. You worked here, you say? Come on, it will be fun! Maybe they will remember you and we will get the VIP treatment?" Mrs. Cope tried to draw Bella into her enthusiasm. "Let's give it a try, shall we? Just for a little while." She looked at Bella with expectant eyes.

They sat in the car for a few more moments, and when Bella didn't voice any protests, Mrs. Cope said, "Great! Let's go in."

She got out of the car and waited for Bella to join her, and after a few more moments of hesitation, Bella emerged from the car tentatively.

It was a cold and wet day, and Bella pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she followed the older women to the entrance of the diner.

It was a busy time for Cora's with the crowd leaving the Sunday church service swarming the place to the brim. Mrs. Cope and Bella managed to blend with the rest and found themselves in a booth near the corner.

However, trouble came from an unexpected source. Soon after they were seated, the overwhelming aroma of coffee, bacon, and the assorted edibles that made up the all-American morning cuisine attacked Bella's olfactory senses. The crowded diner packed with nearly half the town's population meandering in close proximity only exacerbated the effect.

Bella felt sick. An excess of sweat and a copious amount of saliva released in her mouth signalled the inevitable. She thought she had a handle over her body's reaction; she had managed to stave off the persistent purging for months now. But it appeared that her control was effective only within the confines of the mansion.

Please, not here. Not now.

She raised one hand to press down on her mouth. Her eyes teared at the effort it took for her to hold back the retching.

Mrs. Cope noticed her struggle and immediately came to her aid.

"Bella, how bad is it?" Without waiting for a reply, Mrs. Cope followed her initiative. "Hold my hand. Do you remember where the bathroom is here?" she asked.

The diner's washroom was at the back. She knew she wouldn't make it in time. She shook her head imperceptibly, signalling the futility of that idea.

Mrs. Cope understood her gesture. She deftly left her seat and was by her side as she gently grabbed Bella around her shoulders and led her outside, ignoring the smiling waitress who was about to bring them the menus. "You will be ok, sweetheart. A little fresh air will work like a miracle," she said in a comforting manner.

Once back in the parking lot, Bella collapsed next to their car, still struggling to hold back last night's meal and fighting off the residual aroma of food from the diner that triggered such a violent reaction from her.

All these months of exercise in control and discipline were for nothing. Mrs. Cope would have to report to her husband if she threw up. He would not be pleased. The long months of respite had made her complacent and spoiled. She couldn't go back to how things were before. The mere thought of it made her want to cry.

However, the dread of consequence that might befall her appeared to have the desired sobering effect, and after a while the crippling spell of nausea passed away.

Only when she was fairly certain that she was not at risk of expelling her stomach's content did she open her eyes to take in her surroundings. She was sitting on the slushy asphalt next to Mrs. Cope's car who was soothingly dabbing Bella's forehead with a handkerchief.

She looked around and was relieved to find that her public humiliation went mostly unnoticed by the townsfolk, thanks to the relatively isolated spot their car was parked in. Also, as luck would have it, Rodney was standing just a few feet away. She didn't have to worry after all; he'd found her.

Bella almost felt embarrassed to have Rodney witness her making such a spectacle of herself, but then she remembered that he had seen her in worse situations. He knew what a mess she truly was. She was long past the point of feeling indignant about him seeing her like this.

The slight irritation on his face that was breaking through his usual impassive mask belied how furious he truly was. When Bella finally stood up on shaky feet, resting some of her weight on Mrs. Cope, Rodney took a few long steps to reduce the distance between them and let his displeasure over her break with the security procedure known.

"Mrs. Cullen, you are not to take any unplanned detours when you are not being driven by me. You know that very well, Ma'm. Mr. Cullen will be very upset when he finds out." He nearly hissed through his teeth, never raising his voice, but making it perfectly clear that the incident would be reported. Rodney took his job very seriously. Any deviation in his clearly mapped out security protocol was unacceptable.

Mrs. Cope was about to interject but Bella stopped her before she could defend her action. "I'm sorry about that, Rodney. It was a last minute decision. I wanted to... check something out here and asked Mrs. Cope to bring me back to Forks. I should have called you, but I realized I left my phone back home. I knew you'd be able to find me, so..." Bella spoke softly and clearly.

Her husband did not tolerate dissension among those who were on his payroll. Bella did not want the same fate that had befallen Dr. Weber to descend upon Mrs. Cope. Whether she wanted to or not, Bella had come to depend on the comfort the older woman's presence brought to her life.

Mrs. Cope quietly watched the exchange and drew her own conclusions. She decided to find a way to ask Bella about Rodney later. For now, she focused on how to salvage the rest of the day from folding.

Given Bella's queasy stomach, she didn't want to resume their drive, nor did she think it was a good idea to insist Bella brave the diner once again so soon after her last ordeal.

"Why don't we sit over at the bench for a little while? The cold air could actually help a bit. We can regroup and plan what to do with the rest of the day before getting back on the road. Ok?" Mrs. Cope proposed.

Bella nodded in agreement since at the moment there was very little she could do. The cold benches that lined the area between the parking lot and the woods beyond were a preferable place to sit than the dirty snow she had just acquainted herself with. She was longing to go back to the mansion so she could curl up in her usual corner and wait while what was left of her life passed her by. But she realized that she shouldn't risk a car ride in her current condition.

"Please inform me of your destination and route before you start again," Rodney curtly stated before walking back to his car and getting behind the wheel. His careful scrutiny ensured that the benches would be in clear view from his position.

He had no intention of letting Mrs. Cullen out of his sight again. This wouldn't be a problem at all if she had taken her own car as he had the means to electronically track every vehicle the Cullens owned. But she was being driven by Mrs. Cope whose car wasn't chipped and Rodney had no way of pinpointing their location if he hadn't noticed them take the unscheduled exit from the highway.

Mrs. Cope kept a gentle hold on Bella's arm as they made it to the benches. Bella's jacket was soiled in mud and she wondered if she'd have to discard it upon returning to the mansion.

"Did you get ice inside your clothes, Bella? We should get you indoors soon," Mrs. Cope remarked.

"No, no. I'm dry. It's only the jacket," Bella assured her.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Mrs. Cope wanted to ask Bella a very specific question. She wanted to know the very first incident of the problem; the very first time the smell of food had triggered this response in her.

The perimeters of her job were very clear: she was to supervise Bella into a healthy weight range - which she had achieved - and monitor Bella carefully to make sure she didn't relapse into the habit of purging - which she had only witnessed a handful of times. She was not to involve herself in the whys and hows. Over the months, she had adhered to the rules more or less. But her instinct told her that in order to truly help Bella she would have to step over the boundaries and meddle in affairs that weren't hers to pry in.

However, she also knew this wasn't the moment to bring it up, not so soon after an episode like that. So she picked a safer alternative.

"How far is your parents' old house from here?" Mrs. Cope asked.

"About three miles that way." Bella gestured with her hand to show the direction.

"You said Alice used to come by to hang out with you here. Did she live nearby?"

"Yah. Her parents' house is just around the corner there," Bella said, shivering a little and looking drained. A good sign that they should seek refuge indoors soon.

"Do they still live here? Would they mind if you dropped by to say hi?" Mrs. Cope asked unexpectedly.

"What?" Bella sounded incredulous. "No, I can't just show up at their place... that's just... no." She shook her head. She hadn't seen the Brandons since the day of her wedding. Plenty had happened since then, including her fallout with Alice. She didn't know what they thought of her now, and she didn't want to find out by showing up at their doorstep on a Sunday morning without a word of warning.

Mrs. Cope didn't expect Bella to agree to an impromptu visit to the Brandons, but she really wanted to bring Bella to a place where she would be able to find and reclaim parts of her past self; parts that might help to piece back the broken girl who didn't seem to care enough to hold on to the remaining fragments. Like several of her earlier attempts, the day was proving to be another failure. She had clearly over estimated Bella's strength to weather the outside world. Maybe the diner wasn't a good idea.

"Maybe we should wait inside the car. It will be warmer there," Mrs. Cope suggested.

Bella didn't make any move to get up despite the cold. She wanted to curl up on the bench and go to sleep.

"Let's go, Bella. We'll wait in the car until you feel better, then I'll drive you home." Mrs. Cope prodded her to move, which she did with reluctance. Following instructions came quite naturally to her these days.

Once inside the car, Mrs. Cope turned up the heat so their frozen fingers and ears could thaw out.

"Boy, that was cold," Mrs. Cope muttered as she rubbed her hands together to warm them up faster. "You ok, Bella? You look a little... just open the door if you are feeling sick again, honey." She noticed Bella's unease and tried to intervene in order to relieve her stress.

"No, I'm ok. I just ruined your car seat with all the... mud and ice from my clothes," Bella said with clear concern in her voice.

"Don't worry about that, Bella. I can have it cleaned when we get home. It's not a big deal. No worries, ok?" Mrs. Cope eased her anxiety with a soothing tone. "The important thing is that you start feeling better soon, alright? That won't happen if you work yourself up by worrying about slush. It's winter in Washington; mud will get inside the car. I don't mind."

Sylvia's words appeared to ease Bella's mind and she settled into her seat as the warm air slowly lulled her to relax.

As the clocked ticked by, Sylvia Cope tried to fill the void with chatter that might lead to more glimpses into Bella's guarded mind. "How are your parents doing? Did you talk to them recently?"

"Fine, they are doing ok," replied Bella, as she had done on nearly every occasion Mrs. Cope asked her the same question.

"They sold their house here to move to Florida, right?" Sylvia Cope took another shot.

Bella nodded while looking out the window. She had begun to accept and appreciate the older woman's companionship, but talking about herself was a difficult challenge that she struggled with still.

"What are the property prices like in this town, do you know? Did your parents get a good price? I was thinking you know, Forks is kind of growing on me. Maybe when I'm done here I'll look into buying a place and settle down. I am beginning to see the 'small-town' charm a place like this can have." Mrs. Cope switched tactics as she led the conversation away to something that didn't concern Bella directly. Or so she thought.

Bella's face fell at the memory; the selling of their house and the ill begotten fruit from the proceeds of the sale. How she wished she could go back and change it all. How she wished she had paid attention when her mother tried to draw her into the wedding plans. But she didn't. She barely had the faculty to deal with the storm in her heart to spare any thought to what Renee was suggesting. Consumed by her own conflicted mind, Bella offhandedly nodded to everything her mother waved before her face and signed away their life without a second thought.

"They got... they got a fair price," Bella mumbled half-heartedly.

Mrs. Cope sensed that she was treading near one of the many forbidden places that Bella guarded with zeal. Usually the young girl locked down her mind the moment she sensed any intrusion, but today she seemed less alert, perhaps due to the change of setting combined with the stressors she had experienced since the morning.

"What street did you say your house was on?" Sylvia Cope asked innocuously.

"It's on Pine Street, past the bridge."

"Hmn. I see," Mrs. Cope remarked without letting her voice give away her curiosity. "Do you think it's ok if I started the car? I will go slow and won't take any sharp turns, and if at any time you feel queasy, just give me the word and I will pull over. Ok?"

"Ok," Bella consented in a barely audible voice.

"I'll go over and tell 'Mr. Sunshine' over there that he should follow us back to the house, or he'll get his panties in a bunch again. I'll be right back." Sylvia Cope gestured toward Rodney as she got out of the car. Bella watched her walk over to the Mercedes and talk to her body guard before returning to her Subaru.

They pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the Cullen estate. Bella kept her gaze trained on the gnarled trees and barren branches of winter as their car sped past them. The landscape resembled her soul, and if she wasn't so lost in comparing the two she would have noticed that they were not taking the shortest possible route to the mansion. Instead, they were moving further into the residential parts of the town, parts that perhaps would look familiar to her if she were paying attention. But just as with her mother and the wedding plans, Bella was not paying attention, and she was duly surprised when Sylvia Cope's voice pulled her out of her musings.

"Hey, didn't you say your old house was on Pine Street?" Mrs. Cope asked cheerfully as she took a gentle right to turn into the street that led to her childhood home. "Which one was your house?" she asked again.

Bella hadn't been back to this neighborhood in three years, not since her parents handed over the deed of the house to the new owners and flew out to the warmth of Florida the day after her wedding. Being thrust into the path of a tsunami of memories unsettled Bella to no end. Her heart clenched and she wanted to escape.

"Why... why are you turning here? This is not... this is not the way to the house..." The distress was clear in Bella's voice.

"It's ok, Bella. I just thought we'd take a longer route instead. Maybe you could show me around a little. Also, I'm curious to see where you grew up," Mrs. Cope spoke gently as she slowed down the car to a near crawl. "Indulge me, please."

Bella wanted to refuse. She wanted to demand that Mrs. Cope turn around and take her back to the illusion of safety the mansion held for her, but her voice choked and eyes watered. She couldn't look away from the familiar pavements and houses that lined the street. She pressed her hand on the cold, rolled-up window of the car, as if she could touch the past through the glass.

Mrs. Cope observed her with compassion and curiosity. She didn't have to ask again which house was Bella's. The way the young girl's head turned longingly when the car passed by a generic looking, two-storied structure told her that she had found the right place.

She reversed the car a few yards and then turned off the engine. She sat quietly next to Bella, allowing the girl to submerge herself in memories, hoping the onslaught would somehow jar her mind enough to make her want to stand up to her demons; to want to live.

Bella was oblivious to the carefully orchestrated stage Sylvia Cope had fashioned for her. She was far too busy coping with the flashing glimpses of faces, laughter and bruised knees that were assaulting her with relentless vigor. Faces she had tried to bury deep within her heart, and laughter she knew would never come forth from her again. She thought she could hear the voice of her mother insisting she finished homework before going out to play outside with Alice, and her father indulgingly pleading her case so she would be allowed to do it before bed time.

The house looked much the same as it did three years ago, only the window shutters were now painted red instead of the blue of her childhood. The wheelchair ramp had fallen into disuse and was now serving the purpose to housing snow sleds and various outdoor sports gears suitable for children. Everything was as it should be yet nothing was right. This was no more a home to her now than the mansion would ever be.

She was a stateless refugee, trapped in the infernal circles of hell. She had nowhere to go even if she were to break free from her chain.

Looking at the now strange house, she recalled a night five years ago when she came home elated from her first true encounter with Carlisle Cullen. She didn't know then how in the course of a few short years her elation would devolve into horror, and her hopes would burn out to ashes.

AN1: I found a name for my drabble story. It's called Where the Streets Have No Name. There's a lot more Edward in it than in Beautiful Sorrow, but of course I don't deal with easy. I was really hoping to start posting on Jan 1st, but I couldn't score a banner. So, I will put it off until I have one. I hope you'll check it out.

AN2: Story rec - The Selkie Man by DarkBlueBella
It's a lovely little tale where Edward is a mythical creature of a very different nature. Brilliantly written. And oh, just wait till you hear Edward speak "Highlander"!

AN3: A huge round of thanks goes to lulabelle98, for making all this readable. Check out her new story Life as We Know It.

Thanks to Detochkina for pre-reading and pointing out holes the size of Chicago! Brilliant woman, that one. You ought to read her story Sinnerman.

Thanks to WutheringBites for validating my story at Twilighted. I am most grateful. That being said, I am having second thoughts about continuing to post there. The foot traffic is minimum and reviews are nearly zero. I don't know if it's worth the trouble.

I am thankful to all those who've read, alerted and fav-d my story. But reviews are like pain pills when you have a toothache (I had a tooth pulled, by the way. Ouch!). So, kindly review. I could really use some happy!

Happy New Year, lovelies! Knowing you all had been an honor. Wish you a magnificent 2012!