The Unicorn and the Wasp
The TARDIS materialized in the garden of an English manor house, the Doctor and Donna stepping out after the Professor had quickly seen to it that it was safe.
"Oh, smell that air," the Doctor inhaled as the Professor glanced around more, "Grass and lemonade and a little bit of mint. Just a hint of mint, must be the 1920s."
"You can tell what year it is just by smelling?" Donna eyed him.
"Oh yeah."
Donna smirked, "Or maybe that vintage car coming up the drive gave it away."
"I can pinpoint the date," the Professor stated, "He just reads it off me half the time. It's 1926, December the 8th."
They crept forward and leaned around the side of the house to watch a smartly dressed man step out of the car while a butler walked over to him with a footman, "The professor's luggage, Richard. Step lively," he turned to the man from the car, "Good afternoon, professor Peach."
"Hello, Greeves, old man," Peach greeted when a bicycle bell dinged, "Ah, reverend."
"Professor Peach," the reverend called as he rode his bike up to them, "Beautiful day," he dismounted, "Lord's in His Heaven, all's right with the world."
"Reverend Golightly," Greeves nodded, "The Lady Eddison requests that you make yourselves comfortable in your rooms. Cocktails will be served on the lawn from half past four."
"You go on up," Peach waved the reverend off, "I need to check something in the library."
"Oh?" the reverend eyed him.
"Alone."
"It's supposed to be a party. All this work will be the death of you," he called back as they entered the house.
"Never mind Planet Zog," Donna grinned, "A party in the 1920s, that's more like it."
"The trouble is, we haven't been invited," the Doctor sighed, reaching into his pocket, "Oh, I forgot…" he pulled out the psychic paper, "Yes, we have."
"Front door approach," the Professor remarked.
He could only laugh at that.
~8~
The Doctor stood outside the TARDIS and knocked on the door, "We'll be late for cocktails!"
The door opened and Donna stepped out in a black flapper dress, "What do you think? Flapper or slapper?"
"Flapper," he smiled, "You look lovely. Where's the Professor?"
"Oi!" Donna shouted back into the TARDIS, "Get your butt out here or I'll drag you out, blaster or no!"
A moment later the Professor stepped out, looking rather irritated to be dressed in a grayish blue t-shirt-like dress that went down to her knees with a unreasonably large bow that tied in the front around the bottom of it, high heels, and a cap on her head, her hair down.
"I look ridiculous," she stated.
"You look beautiful," the Doctor countered, giving her a quick kiss. He beamed as he pulled away having felt her return it just a bit.
He held out his arms to the two women. Donna linked her arm through his while the Professor eyed it a moment, but eventually took it as well, standing slightly stiffly as they walked out to join the party on the lawn. There were tables set up across it with servants rushing around to finish setting up the food and drinks while soft music played out of a record player.
"Look sharp!" a maid shouted, "We have guests."
"Good afternoon!" the Doctor called as the three of them walked over.
"Drink, sir?" a footman walked up, "Madams?"
"Sidecar, please," Donna asked.
"And a lime and soda, thank you," the Doctor requested.
"Water," the Professor replied. The man nodded and headed off to get their orders.
"May I introduce Lady Clemency Eddison," Greeves announced.
A petite blond woman arrived, fashionably dressed in a blue outfit.
"Lady Eddison!" the Doctor greeted her like an old friend, shaking her hand.
"Excuse me, but who exactly might you be…and what are you doing here?" Eddison asked.
"I'm the Doctor, this is Katherine Stewart, my fiancé, and our friend Miss Donna Noble…of the Chiswick Nobles."
"Good afternoon, my lady," Donna greeted, trying to sound posh as she curtseyed, "Topping day, what? Spiffing! Top hole!"
"No, no, no, no, no," the Doctor whispered, "Don't do that. Don't," he held up the psychic paper to Eddison, "We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady. We met at the ambassador's reception."
"Doctor, Katherine, how could I forget you?" Eddison smiled at them, "But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose."
"A unicorn? Brilliant. Where?"
"The Unicorn," the Professor corrected, "The jewel thief."
Eddison nodded, "Nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again. Snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose."
"Funny place to wear pearls," Donna murmured, taking her drink from the footman as he brought them over.
"May I announce the Colonel Hugh Curbishley, the Honorable Roger Curbishley," Greeves called as a younger man pushed an older one in a wheelchair.
"My husband," Eddison introduced, "And my son."
"Forgive me for not rising," Hugh sighed, "Never been the same since the flu epidemic back in '18."
"My word!" Roger turned to Donna, "You are a super lady!"
"Oh!" Donna grinned, "I like the cut of your jib. Chin-chin."
"I'm the Doctor," he shook Roger's hand, "And this is my fiancé, Katherine."
"How do you do?" Roger smiled, shaking their hands though the Professor seemed reluctant to do so.
"Very well, thanks," the Doctor couldn't help but smile as well. It seemed the only person the Professor was really comfortable coming into physical contact with now was himself. But he was also rather proud of her, he knew she didn't want to take the man's hand, even in greeting, but she was making an effort to push past her stiff persona, fighting back against the regeneration. That was all he could ask for.
"Your usual, sir," the footman stepped over to Roger with a drink.
"Ah, thank you, Davenport," Roger smiled, taking it, "Just how I like it."
"How come she's an Eddison but her husband and son are Curbishleys?" Donna asked them quietly.
"The Eddison title descends through her," the Professor replied, nodding at Eddison.
"One day Roger will be a lord," the Doctor agreed.
"Miss Robina Redmond!" Greeves announced while a young, dark haired woman in a red dress approached.
"She's the absolute hit of the social season," Eddison nearly squealed, "A must. Miss Redmond!"
"Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady," Robina greeted.
"Reverend Arnold Golightly," Greeves called.
"Ah, reverend!" Eddison turned to him concerned, "How are you? I heard about the church last Thursday night, those ruffians breaking in."
"You apprehended them, I hear," Hugh added.
"As the Christian fathers taught me, we must forgive them their trespasses," the reverend replied, "Quite literally."
"Some of these young boys deserve a decent thrashing," Roger agreed.
"Couldn't agree more, sir," Davenport gave him a look, Roger cleared his throat.
"Typical," Donna sighed as they watched from the side, "All the decent men are on the other bus."
"Or Time Lords," the Professor added. Her eyes widened a bit at that slip.
The Doctor looked at her, stunned. For a moment there she'd almost sounded like herself, what he imagined she'd sound like beyond the harsh unfeeling shell this regeneration had forced on her. He blinked, especially seeing her cheeks just a hint pink, before her face became stoic once again.
"Now my lady, what about this special guest you promised us?" the reverend continued, drawing his attention back to the group.
"Here she is," Eddison grinned at a blond woman walking down the lawn towards them, seeming uncomfortable with the applause the group was giving her, "A lady who needs no introduction."
"Oh, no," the woman tried to wave them off, "Please don't. Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there's no need," she moved over to Donna, shaking her hand, "Agatha Christie."
"What about her?" Donna asked.
"That's her," the Professor replied.
"No!" Donna gasped, looking between the Professor and Agatha, "You're kidding!"
"Agatha Christie!" the Doctor beamed, shaking her hand eagerly, "I was just talking about you the other day. I said, 'I bet she's brilliant.' I'm the Doctor, this is Katherine, and this is Donna. Oh, I love your stuff! What a mind! You fool me every time. Well…almost every time. Well…once or twice. Well…once. But it was a good once!" he laughed, excitedly putting his arm around the Professor.
"You make a rather unusual couple," Agatha commented, eyeing the exuberant man and the rather rigid woman.
"Oh, no, no, no, no," he shook his head, pointing at Donna, "We're not married."
"We're not a couple," Donna agreed.
"I was actually speaking of you two," she gestured at the Professor and the Doctor.
"Oh!" his eyes widened, "Yes, this is my fiancé."
"Well, obviously," she smiled, "No wedding ring yet."
"Oh…you don't miss a trick."
She smiled and turned to Donna, "I'd stay single if I were you. The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture."
"Mrs. Christie, I'm so glad you could come," Eddison called, ushering Agatha over to the group, "I'm one of your greatest followers. I've read all six of your books. Uh, is, uh, Mr. Christie not joining us?"
"Is he needed?" Agatha asked, "Can't a woman make her own way in the world?"
"Don't give my wife ideas," Hugh laughed.
"Mrs. Christie, I have a question," Roger cut in, "Why a Belgian detective?"
The Doctor frowned and glanced at the Professor, "December the 8th you said?"
"Belgians make such lovely buns," Agatha replied, earning a laugh from everyone.
"Where on Earth's Professor Peach?" Roger looked around, "He'd love to meet Mrs. Christie."
"Yes," the Professor nodded to the Doctor.
"Said he was going to the library," the reverend replied.
"Miss Chandrakala, would you go and collect the professor?" Eddison asked her housekeeper.
"What's wrong with December 8th?" Donna frowned, eyeing the Doctor and Professor.
"At once, my lady," the maid ran to the house.
"It's the day Agatha Christie disappeared," the Professor told Donna.
"She just discovered her husband was having an affair," the Doctor added.
"You'd never think to look at her smiling away," Donna eyed the woman.
"Well, she's British and moneyed. That's what they do, they carry on. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished. Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later she turns up at a hotel in Harrogate. Said she'd lost her memory. She never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died. But whatever it was…"
"It's about to happen."
"Right here, right now."
Miss Chandrakala came running out of the house, screaming, "The professor! The library! Murder! Murder!"
~8~
The Doctor and Professor were the first ones to enter the library, followed quickly by Donna and Agatha. The Doctor ran over to the body of professor Peach, lying sprawled out on the floor, while the Professor stood there casting a quick, analyzing glance around the room before joining him.
"Oh, my goodness," Greeves gasped as he entered.
"Bashed on the back of the head," the Doctor examined the body, looking at the Professor who nodded to confirm, "Blunt instrument…" he tapped Peach's watch, "Watch broke as he fell, time of death was quarter past four," he got up and examined a few papers on the desk as the Professor eyed the ground for more clues.
"Bit of pipe," Donna picked a pipe off the floor, "Call me Hercule Poirot but I reckon that's blunt enough."
Agatha plucked a scrap of paper from the fireplace, the Doctor and Professor both seeing her but keeping quiet.
"Nothing worth killing for in that lot, dry as dust," the Doctor remarked.
"Hold on, the body in the library? I mean, professor Peach, in the library, with a lead piping?"
"Let me see!" Eddison called from down the hall.
"Out of my way!" Hugh insisted.
Eddison ran in and gasped, "Gerald!"
"Saints preserve us," the reverend muttered as the rest of the group arrived as well.
"Oh, how awful," Robina frowned.
"Someone should call the police," Agatha stood.
"You don't have to," the Doctor whipped round, psychic paper up, "Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard, known as the Doctor. Miss Noble and Miss Stewart are the plucky young girls who help me out."
"I say," Eddison's eyes widened.
"Mrs. Christie was right. Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn."
"Come along," Agatha nudged them out of the room, "Do as the Doctor says. Keep the room undisturbed."
"'The plucky young girls who help me out?'" Donna eyed him critically as the Professor knelt down with a pencil.
"There were no policewomen in 1926," the Professor replied.
"I'll pluck him in a minute. Why don't we phone the real police?"
"The last think we want is P.C. Plod sticking his nose in," the Doctor crouched down as the Professor pulled something out of a crack in the wooden floor, something on the tip of the pencil, "Especially…now we've found this."
"Morphic residue," the Professor stated as she stood.
"Morphic?" Donna frowned, "Doesn't sound very 1926."
"Gets left behind when certain species genetically re-encode."
"The murderer's an alien?"
The Professor tipped the speck onto her fingers and frowned, "The genetic code is muddled. It's a fairly recent transformation. Either a Vespiform or a Queen Melissinian."
"Which means that one of that lot is an alien in human form," the Doctor sighed, looking at the Professor, "Which means as long as their human, they scan human."
If they could determine which 'human' it might have been they could narrow down the alien species and vice versa. The Vespiforms that left the planet were typically male while a Queen Melissinian, obviously female, was the only sub sect of Melissa Majoria that could appear human for a time.
"Yeah, but think about it," Donna cut in, "There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie."
"So?" he glanced at her, "Happens to us all the time."
"No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. That's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas."
"Well…"
"Oh come on. It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy."
"There's no Noddy," he told her as they headed out of the room.
"Next thing you'll be telling me it's like 'Murder on the Orient Express' and they all did it."
"'Murder on the Orient Express?'" Agatha asked, popping out of an alcove by the stairs as they walked by.
"Oh, yeah. One of your best."
"But not yet," the Doctor whispered.
"Marvelous idea, though, "Agatha considered it.
"Yeah, tell you what, copyright Donna Noble, yeah?" Donna grinned.
"Anyway," the Doctor cut in, "Agatha, Katherine, and I will question suspects. Donna, you search the bedrooms, look for clues," he whispered, "Any more residue," and pulled out a large magnifying glass from his pocket, "You'll need this."
"Is that for real?" she eyed him.
"Go on. You're ever so plucky."
"I would like to go with Donna," the Professor said. The Doctor looked at her, surprised, "I'm…curious…"
He smiled widely at her, "Go on then!"
This was just like with Martha, Her curiosity was breaking through!
He felt almost giddy as he turned to Agatha, the Professor and Donna heading off, "Right then. Solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie. Brilliant!"
"How like a man to have fun while there's disaster all around him," Agatha glared.
"Sorry. Yeah."
"I'll work with you, gladly, but for the sake of justice, not your own amusement."
"Oh," he nodded and followed her off.
~8~
The Doctor and Agatha paced in the study, having interviewed all the guests. He'd had the Professor listen in briefly during each questioning, listening to the voice patterns for any hint of falsehood. It seemed they were all lying about or hiding something, which didn't help them sort through the issue at hand.
"No alibis for any of them," Agatha muttered, "The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive," she smiled a bit, adopting a Belgian accent, "Use the little grey cells."
"Oh yes, little grey cells. Good old Poirot," he plopped down into a chair, "Y'know, Katherine and I've been to Belgium. Yeah, I remember…we were deep in the Ardennes trying to find Charlemagne…he'd been kidnapped by an insane computer…" he trailed off in memory.
"Doctor! Doctor!"
"Sorry."
"Charlemagne lived centuries ago."
"I've got a good memory."
"For such an experienced detective, you missed a big clue."
"What, that bit of paper you nicked out of the fireplace?"
"You were looking the other way!"
"Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the bookcase."
"You crafty man," she smiled at him, "This is all that was left."
He got up and walked over to her, looking at the small charred scrap, "What's that first letter? N or M?"
"It's an M. The word is 'maiden.'"
"Maiden!" he shouted before whispering, "What does that mean?"
Agatha sighed, "We're still no further forward. Our nemesis remains at large. Unless Miss Noble or Miss Stewart have found something."
~8~
Donna and the Professor walked along the upstairs hallways, searching the bedrooms until they came to a locked door.
"You won't find anything in there," Greeves appeared behind them.
"Oh!" Donna gasped, "How come it's locked?"
"Lady Eddison commands it so."
"And I command it otherwise. Scotland Yard, pip-pip," Greeves moved to unlock it, "Why is it locked in the first place?"
"Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family, Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria. She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. Since then, this room has remained…undisturbed," Donna opened the door to see a very dusty room, cobwebs everywhere. It was very sparse, a bed, dresser, desk, and a teddy bear on the bed were all that was there, "There's nothing in here."
"How long has it been empty?" the Professor asked.
"Forty years."
"Why would she seal it off?" Donna wondered, "Alright, we need to investigate. You just…butle off," she closed the door behind them, keeping Greeves out, as they looked around. Donna paused, hearing a buzzing, "1926, they've still got bees," she sighed, walking over to the drape covered window.
The Professor frowned, listening…
"Oh, what a noise! Alright, busy bee, I'll let you out. Hold on…"
…and realized, the buzz was far too powerful to be made by a single wasp or even a hive…
"I shall find you with my amazing powers of detection…"
…it was far too large.
"Donna!" she spun around, "No!"
But it was too late.
Donna opened the drape to see a huge wasp outside the window. It broke through, its stinger out at her, but she screamed and jumped backwards, "That's impossible!"
"Over here!" the Professor motioned her to step around the bed, she couldn't pull her blaster with the risk of hitting Donna should the wasp move. Luckily though, Donna quickly stepped over to the window beside her.
"Doctor!" she shouted as the Professor grabbed her arm and held it up so the magnifying glass caught the light and burned the wasp. It screeched in pain and she pulled Donna towards the door, slamming it behind them as it's stinger went through the bottom of it, having tried to attack them, "Doctor!" the Doctor and Agatha ran down the hall towards them, "There is a giant…wasp!"
"What do you mean, giant wasp?" he frowned.
"I mean a wasp that's giant!"
"It's only a silly little insect," Agatha scoffed.
"When I say 'giant,' I don't mean big, I mean flippin' enormous! Look at its sting!" she pointed at the door, earning shocked looks from the two of them.
"Let me see!" the Doctor pushed his way into the room but it was empty, the stinger left alone in the door, "It's gone. Buzzed off," he walked to the window and looked out.
"But that's fascinating…" Agatha breathed, reaching out to touch the stinger.
The Professor grabbed her wrist and yanked it back, stopping her, "Don't touch it."
The fresh sting of either intergalactic insect was lethal to most species.
Agatha blinked, surprised, but retracted her hand. The Doctor crouched down, pulling out a vial with a stopper and gathered a sample of the sting into it with a pencil.
"Giant wasp…" he muttered, looking at the Professor, "What do you make of that?"
"There are any number of amorphous insectivorous life forms," she replied, "But none in this galactic vector. The stinger fluid must be kept sealed for half an hour before its safe to touch and me to scan."
She was certain it was a Vespiform now, but that still left a question as to how old it was, the older the more deadly and aggressive, the stinger fluid could tell her that.
"I think I understood some of those words," Agatha remarked, eying her, "Enough to know that you're completely potty."
"Lost its sting, though," Donna said, "That makes it defenseless."
"A creature this size?" the Doctor shook his head, "Gotta be able to grow a new one."
"Uh, can we return to sanity?" Agatha asked, "There are no such things as giant wasps."
"Exactly! So…the question is, what's it doing here?"
He stood up and walked out of the room, the Professor following as Donna and Agatha exchanged a look before heading after them. They had just reached the main stairs when someone outside screamed. They ran out of the house to see Miss Chandrakala lying on the drive, a stone gargoyle on top of her.
"The poor, little…child," she breathed before dying.
There was a loud buzzing and the Doctor looked up to see the wasp flying overhead, "There!" he pointed at it, "Come on!" they chased after it as it flew back inside, running up the stairs.
"Well, this makes a change!" Donna called, "There's a monster and we're chasing it."
"Can't be a monster," Agatha shook her head, "It's a trick. They do it with mirrors," they reached the top of the stairs as the wasp hovered before them, "By all that's holy…"
"Oh, but you are wonderful!" the Doctor grinned when the wasp suddenly turned to face them, "Now, just stop there..."
It rushed at them, stinger first, and they ducked as it passed. It turned and flew back for another strike when the Professor pulled out the blaster and fired at it. It flew to the side, startled, before buzzing off down the hall.
"Where did you…" the Doctor looked at her, stunned.
She just hiked up her skirt and strapped the blaster back to a holster on her thigh before running off after the wasp.
"Don't let it get away!" he snapped out of it and followed after her, "Quick, before it reverts to human form!" they ran into a hallway and stopped short, seeing a number of doors before them, "Where are you? Come on! There's nowhere to run. Show yourself!" the doors opened and all the guests peeked out, "Oh…that's just cheating..."
~8~
"My faithful companion!" Eddison wept as she and the guests sat in the sitting room, "This is terrible!"
"Excuse me, my lady," Davenport spoke, "She was on her way to tell you something."
"She never found me. She had an appointment with death instead."
"She said, 'the poor little child,'" the Doctor remarked, "Does that mean anything to anyone?"
"No children in this house for years," Hugh glanced at Roger, "Highly unlikely there will be."
"Mrs. Christie, you must have twigged something," Eddison turned to Agatha hopefully, "You've written simply the best detective stories."
"Tell us…what would Poirot do?" the reverend asked.
"Heaven's sake!" Hugh slapped his hand on his armrest, "Cards on the table, woman! You should be helping us!"
"But…I'm merely a writer," Agatha shook her head.
"But surely you can crack it," Robina encouraged, "These events, they're exactly like one of your plots."
"That's what I've been saying," Donna agreed, "Agatha, that's got to mean something."
"But what?" Agatha sighed, "I've no answers. None. I'm sorry, all of you, I'm truly sorry, but I've failed. If anyone can help us, it's the Doctor, not me."
Everyone turned to look at the Doctor as Agatha got up and walked outside.
~8~
The Doctor opened a small case that Agatha and Donna had brought in to reveal an array of tools, lock picking tools.
"Ooh…someone came tooled up…the sort of stuff a thief would use," the Doctor remarked.
"The Unicorn, he's here!" Agatha gasped.
"The Unicorn and the wasp."
"Your drinks, ladies, Doctor," Greeves entered with a tray of drinks for the three of them, the Professor standing off to the side, subtly examining the stinger fluid.
"Very good, Greeves," the Doctor took a drink and sat down on a chair.
"What about the science stuff?" Donna asked, "What did you find?"
"Vespiform sting," the Professor walked over with the bottle in hand, "Vespiforms have hives in the Silifax Galaxy. This one is exactly forty years old…one of the oldest I've encountered," she looked at the Doctor, "The older they are, the more aggressive and primal they become."
He nodded, sipping his drink.
"Again you talk like Edward Lear," Agatha eyed her.
"For some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books," the Doctor eyed Agatha.
"Come on, Agatha," Donna turned to her, "What would Miss Marple do? She'd've overheard something vital by now because the murderer thinks she's just a harmless old lady."
"Clever idea," Agatha murmured, "Miss Marple…who writes those?"
"Um, copyright Donna Noble. Add it to the list."
"Donna…" the Doctor cut in.
"OK, we could split the copyright…"
"No…" he looked at the Professor, alarmed, "Something's inhibiting my enzymes!" he jerked forward with a gasp, "Ahh!"
The Professor grabbed his drink and sniffed it, "He's been poisoned. Sparkling cyanide."
"What do we do?" Donna looked at her, stunned, "What do we do?"
The Professor just grabbed the Doctor's arm and hefted him up, helping him run…more like half dragging him…out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.
He staggered out of her hold and over to Davenport, grabbing him by the lapels, "Ginger beer."
"I beg your pardon?" he frowned.
"I need ginger beer," he ran over to the shelves where the Professor held out a bottle to him, having gone straight for it, the picture of level-headedness. She had to be, if she allowed herself to feel anything but rationality she wouldn't be able to help him.
"The gentleman's gone mad!" one of the kitchen women shouted.
He drank the beer and then poured the rest over his head.
"I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor," Agatha and Donna ran over, "It's fatal! There's no cure!"
He spit out the drink and gripped the table, "Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal. Protein! I need protein!"
The women turned and searched the kitchen, "Walnuts!" Donna handed him some.
"Brilliant!" he shoved them into his mouth and tried to talk.
"I can't understand you!" he shook his hand, "How many words?" he held up one finger, "One. One word. Shake? Milk? Shake? Milk? Milk! No, not milk. Shake, shake, shake…cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?"
"Harvey Wallbanger?" he swallowed.
"Well, I don't know!"
"How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?"
"What do you need, Doctor?" Agatha asked.
"Salt!" the Professor shouted, looking over the shelves for some, "He was miming salt!"
Donna held out a brown bag, "What about this?"
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's salt."
"That's too salty!"
"Oh, that's too salty."
"What about this?" Agatha held out a jar.
"Hmm," he grabbed it and downed the contents.
"What's that?" Donna asked.
"Anchovies," she replied.
The Doctor gestured again, holding out his hands.
"What is it?" Donna asked, "What else? It's a song. 'Mammy.' I don't know, 'Camptown Races?'"
"'Camptown Races?'" he cried.
"Well, alright then. 'Towering Inferno.'"
"A shock," the Professor replied, not able to find an appliance that could help, "He needs a shock!"
"Alright, then, big shock coming up," Donna strode over to him and grabbed him, kissing him hard before pushing him back.
The Doctor threw his head back and black smoke poured out of him. He groaned, falling back against the counter, "Ah! Detox," he wiped his mouth, "I must do that more often," his eyes widened before looking between Donna and the Professor, "I mean the…the detox."
"Doctor you are impossible!" Agatha shook her head, "Who are you?"
The Professor's jaw tensed slightly, not at all happy that Donna had kissed him, but also relieved he was alright.
'What?' the Doctor asked, seeing her look.
'When this is over I'm going to teach you how to manipulate a poison within your body,' she replied, serious. It had been another stage of her training. Once the Academics mastered control of their own bodies, foreign antigens were introduced and they were expected to combat that as well. It wouldn't do for the Daleks to be able to poison them. There were only a few poisons they couldn't burn off from within them, but none that would kill them outright. Most of the training had been geared towards allowing them to contain the poison within them in order to buy them time to make it to a medical facility for a cure.
She was not about to have another incident like this happen, no one else would be kissing him if she had anything to say about it.
He couldn't help but grin, catching that train of her thoughts, 'Possessive are we?' he smirked at her, seeing the pink tint to her cheeks return. Perhaps he should get poisoned more often if it meant she...
'Don't even try,' she warned him, her eyes narrowed at him.
He just shook his head and smiled.
~8~
A thunderstorm raged outside that night as they all sat around the dinner table for their meal.
"A terrible day for all of us," the Doctor commented, "Professor Peach struck down, Miss Chandrakala cruelly taken from us, and yet, we still take dinner."
"We are British, Doctor," Eddison said, "What else must we do?"
"And then someone tried to poison me…any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. But it rather gave me an idea. Or rather, it gave Katherine an idea."
"And what would that be?" the reverend asked.
"Poison," she replied as everyone stopped eating.
The Doctor grinned, "Drink up," they looked at him, "She's laced the soup with pepper."
"Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy," Hugh laughed, taking a spoonful as did the rest of the group.
"The active ingredient of pepper is piperine," the Professor continued, "Traditionally used as an insecticide."
Thunder crackled, "Oh, anyone got the shivers?" the Doctor asked.
The lights suddenly went out and the windows blew open, the wind snuffing out the candles.
"What the deuce is that?" Hugh demanded.
"Listen!" the Doctor shouted, "Listen! Listen! Listen!" they quieted down, hearing a buzzing noise.
"No…no, it can't be!" Eddison gasped.
Agatha stood, "Show yourself, demon!"
"Nobody move!" the Doctor called, "No, don't! Stay where you are!" the Vespiform flew into the room, causing the guests to scream. Greeves grabbed Donna, ushering her out of the room as the Doctor grabbed Agatha, the Professor following behind, "Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!" they ran into the hallway outside the dining room, "Not you, Agatha. You've got a long life to lead yet," he turned as the Professor grabbed two swords from a wall display, tossing him one and keeping the other, knowing she couldn't use her blaster in front of everyone. She had been lucky before, that Agatha had been ducking and hadn't noticed the blaster. The last thing they needed was for the humans to begin asking questions about them, humans didn't tend to react well to anything different when they were afraid, especially with one alien already trying to kill them.
"Well, we know the butler didn't do it," Donna remarked, nodding back at Greeves who was behind her.
"Then who did?" the Doctor asked as they rushed back into the dining room. The wasp was gone and the lights came back on.
"My jewelry…the Firestone…it's gone!" Eddison yelled, feeling her neck, "Stolen!"
"Roger…" Davenport breathed sadly.
Robina screamed as they all saw Roger face down in his soup, a knife in his back.
"My son…my child!" Eddison sobbed.
~8~
The Doctor stood by the fireplace with the Professor while Agatha sat on the sofa. Donna walked in with a sigh, "That poor footman. Roger's dead and he can't even mourn him. 1926. It's more like the dark ages," she plopped down beside Agatha.
"Did you enquire about the necklace?" she asked the ginger.
"Lady Eddison brought it back from India. It's worth thousands."
"This thing can sting, it can fly…" the Doctor muttered, "It could wipe us all out in seconds…why is it playing this game?"
"Every murder is essentially the same, they are committed because somebody wants something," Agatha replied.
"What does a Vespiform want?"
"Doctor, stop it. The murderer is as human as you or I."
"You're right. We've been so caught up with giant wasps, we've forgotten," he moved to sit across from Agatha, the Professor standing beside him, "You're the expert."
"Look, I told you. I'm just a…purveyor of nonsense."
"Oh, no, no, no, no, 'cos plenty of people write detective stories, but yours are the best. And why? Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand. You've lived…you've fought…you've had your heart broken. You know about people, their passions, their hope and despair and anger, all of those. Tiny huge things can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha. If anyone can solve this, it's you."
~8~
The Doctor stood before the fireplace, the guests gathered in the sitting room once more. Donna sat off to the side, the Professor standing nearby, 'at ease,' eyeing each of the guests, more specifically, eyeing the men, one in particular. The Vespiform was male, a forty year old male...
"We've called you here on this endless night because we have a murderer in our midst," the Doctor began, "And when it comes to detection, there's none finer…ladies and gentlemen, I give you Agatha Christie," he motioned for Agatha as he sat down beside Donna, next to where the Professor stood.
"This is a crooked house…" Agatha stood before the fireplace, "A house of secrets. To understand the solution, we must examine them all. Starting with you…Miss Redmond."
"But I'm innocent, surely," Robina smiled warily.
"You've never met these people and these people never met you. I think the real Robina Redmond never left London. You're impersonating her!"
"How silly. What proof do you have?"
"You said you'd been to the toilet…"
"Oh, I know this…if she was really posh, she'd say 'loo,'" Donna commented.
"Earlier today, Miss Noble and I found this on the lawn…" Agatha continued, picking up a tool case, "…right beneath your bathroom window. You must have heard Miss Noble and Miss Stewart were searching the bedrooms and you panicked. You ran upstairs and disposed of the evidence."
"I've never seen that thing before in my life," Robina insisted.
"What's inside it?" Eddison asked.
"The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond, or should I say…the Unicorn," Agatha opened the case to reveal the tools, "You came to this house with one sole intention, to steal the Firestone!"
"Oh, alright then," 'Robina' sighed, her accent now a cockney one, "It's a fair cop," she stood up, "Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn. Ever so nice to meet you, I don't think. I took my chance in the dark and nabbed it," she reached under the strap of her dress and pulled out the necklace, "Go on then, ya nobs, arrest me. Sling me in jail," she tossed it at the Doctor but the Professor caught it.
"So, is she the murderer?" Donna asked as the Professor fiddled with the necklace in her hand before nodding at the Doctor, handing him the gem.
"Don't be so thick. I might be a thief but I ain't no killer."
"Quite," Agatha agreed, "There are darker motives at work, and, in examining this household…we come to you…Colonel."
"Damn it, woman!" Hugh shouted, "You with your perspicacity! You've rumbled me!"
And then…he stood up.
"You…you can walk?" Eddison gasped, "But why?"
"My darling, how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side?"
"I don't understand."
"You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. Sooner or later, some chap will turn your head. I couldn't bear that. Staying in the chair was the only way I could be certain of keeping you. Confound it, Mrs. Christie! How did you discover the truth?"
"Um, actually, I had no idea," Agatha admitted, "I was just going to say you were completely innocent."
"Ah…oh."
"Sorry."
"Well, shall I sit down then?"
"I think you better had."
"So he's not the murderer?" Donna asked as the man sat.
"Indeed not. To find the truth…let's return…" she turned to the Doctor who handed her the necklace, "…to this, far more than the Unicorn's object of desire. The Firestone has quite a history. Lady Eddison."
"I've done nothing!" Eddison called.
"You brought it back from India, did you not? Before you met the Colonel. You came home with malaria and confined yourself to this house for six months, in a room that has been locked ever since, which I rather think means…"
"Stop, please!"
"I'm so sorry. But you had fallen pregnant in India…unmarried and ashamed, you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid, later to become housekeeper, Miss Chandrakala."
"Clemency!" Hugh gaped, "Is this true?"
"My poor baby," she sobbed, "I had to give him away. Oh, the shame of it."
"But you've never said a word!"
"I had no choice. Imagine the scandal, the family name. I'm British, I carry on."
"And it was no ordinary pregnancy," the Doctor remarked.
"How can you know that?" Eddison looked at him, startled.
"Excuse me, Agatha, this is our territory," the Doctor called, "But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room, you said, 'It can't be.' Why did you say that?"
"You'd never believe it."
"The Doctor has opened my mind to believe…many things," Agatha replied, sitting down.
Eddison sighed, "It was forty years ago…in the heat of Delhi one night. I was alone and that's when I saw it…a dazzling light in the sky. The next day, he came to the house, Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Our love blazed like a wildfire and I held nothing back. And in return, he showed me the incredible truth about himself. He made himself human to learn about us. The wasp, this was his true shape. I loved him so much it didn't matter. But he was stolen from me. 1885, the year of the Great Monsoon. The River Jumna rose up and broke its banks. He was taken at the flood. But Christopher left me a parting gift, a jewel like no other. I wore it always. Part of me never forgot. I keep it close. Always."
"Just like a man, flashes his family jewels and you end up with a bun in the oven," 'Robina' commented.
"A 'poor little child,'" Agatha nodded, "Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that newborn babe to an orphanage. But professor Peach worked it out. He found the birth certificate."
"Oh, that's 'maiden,' maiden name," Donna realized.
"Precisely."
"So she killed him."
"I did not!" Eddison glared.
"Miss Chandrakala feared that the professor had unearthed your secret," Agatha explained, "She was coming to warn you."
"So she killed her," Donna guessed.
"I did not!"
"Lady Eddison is innocent," Agatha reaffirmed, "Because at this point…Doctor?"
"Thank you," the Doctor stood but held out a hand to the Professor as well, leading her towards the fireplace to stand with him, "Because at this point when we consider the lies and secrets and the key to these events, then we have to consider…it was you, Donna Noble…" he pointed at her.
"What?" Donna frowned, "Who did I kill?"
"No, but you said it all along, the vital clue, that this whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. Which means…it was you, Agatha Christie!" he pointed at her.
"I beg your pardon, sir?" Agatha shook her head.
"So she killed them," Donna reasoned.
"No, but she wrote," the Doctor argued, "She wrote those brilliant, clever books. And who's her greatest admirer? The moving finger points…at you, Lady Eddison," he pointed at her.
"Leave me alone!" she cried.
The Professor shoved his arm down, "Point again and I'll break your arm."
He gave her a sheepish smile, though he knew she wouldn't really harm him.
"So she did kill them?" Donna repeated.
"No, but just think…last Thursday night, what were you doing?" the Doctor looked at Eddison.
"Uh, I was uh…I was in the library," she recalled, "I was reading my favorite Agatha Christie, thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. How is that relevant?"
"Just think, what happened Thursday night?" the Doctor looked at the reverend.
"I'm sorry?" the man frowned.
"You said on the lawn this afternoon, last Thursday, those boys broke into your church."
"That's correct…they did. I discovered the two of them, thieves in the night. I was most perturbed. But I apprehended them."
"Really? A man of God against two strong lads? A man in his forties? Or, should I say, forty years old…exactly."
"Oh, my God!" Eddison gasped.
"Lady Eddison, your child, how old would he be now?"
"Forty. He's…forty."
"Your child has come home."
"Ha!" the reverend laughed, "This is poppycock!"
"You were taught by the Christian fathers," the Professor stated, "You were raised in an orphanage."
"My son!" Eddison turned to him, "Can it be?"
"You found those thieves, reverend, and you got angry," the Doctor eyed him, "A proper, deep anger for the first time in your life and it broke the genetic code. You changed. You realized your inheritance. After all these years…you knew who you were. Oh, then it all kicks off 'cos this…" he held up the Firestone, "…isn't just a jewel."
"It's a Vespiform telepathic recorder," the Professor explained, "It is your brain, your very essence. And when you activated, so did the Firestone. It beamed your full identity directly into your mind. And, at the same time, it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie directly from Lady Eddison. It all became part of you. The mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain. You killed in this pattern because that's what you think the world is."
"Turns out we are in the middle of a murder mystery," the Doctor nodded, "One of yours, Dame Agatha."
"'Dame?'" Agatha turned to him.
"Oh, sorry, not yet."
"So he killed them?" Donna asked, "Yes? Definitely?"
"Yes."
"Well, this has certainly been a most entertaining evening," the reverend tried to joke, "Really, you can't believe any of this, surely, Lady Eddizzz…"
"Lady who?"
"Lady Eddizzzon…" he struggled to get out.
"Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?"
"Don't make me angry!" he stood.
"Why? What happens then?"
"Damn it! You humanzzz! Worshipping your tribal sky godzzz! I am so much more! That night, the Universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazz mine. And you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstall romancezzz…what'zzz to stop me killing you?"
"Oh, my dear God!" Eddison gasped, hearing the familiar buzzing once more, "My child!"
"What'zzz to stop me killing you all?" and then he transformed before their very eyes.
"Forgive me!"
"No, Clemency!" Hugh grabbed her, Greeves helping to pull her to the door, "Keep away! Keep away, my darling!"
"No!" Agatha shouted, grabbing the Firestone from the Doctor, "No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!" and she ran out the room.
The Doctor, Professor, and Donna quickly took off after her.
"Wait!" Donna shouted, "Now it's chasing us!"
They ran outside and closed the doors behind them, only to see Agatha drive past.
"Come on!" the Doctor shouted, running towards the car just as the wasp broke through the front door.
"Over here!" Agatha shouted at it, "Come and get me, reverend!"
"Agatha, what are you doing?"
"If I started this, Doctor, then I must stop it!" she pressed down on the gas and sped off.
"Come on!" he led them to another car, moving to jump in the driver's seat when the Professor shoved him to the side, taking the spot herself. He swallowed hard, "Oh no…"
"What?" Donna gasped from the run.
He just shook his head and used the sonic to start the engines, "Here we go."
The words were barely out of his mouth before the Professor floored it and sped off, making them lurch back as she recklessly sped off after Agatha.
"You said this is the night Agatha Christie looses her memory," Donna shouted.
"Time is in flux, Donna!" he called back over the roar of the motor, "For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie looses her life and history gets changed!"
"But where is she going?"
"The lake!" he cried, seeing a sign, "She's heading for the lake! What's she doing?"
The Professor turned the wheel fiercely, causing the car to spin out in the back and come to a stop by the lake where Agatha's car was already there.
Donna jumped out with a gasp, "Never EVER driving with you again!" she pointed at the Professor who simply grabbed her blaster and jumped out, running after Agatha with the Doctor.
"Here I am!" Agatha shouted, holding up the necklace, "The honey in the trap. Come to me, Vespiform."
"She's controlling it," Donna gasped, watching as the wasp hovered before Agatha.
"It's mind is based on her thought processes," the Professor replied as they ran over, "They're linked."
"Quite so," Agatha nodded, "If I die, then this creature might die with me."
"Don't hurt her!" the Doctor turned to the wasp as the Professor aimed her blaster, ready, but waiting, knowing the Doctor wanted to give it a chance, "You're not meant to be like this. You've got the wrong template in your mind."
"He's not listening!" Donna realized before grabbing the stone from Agatha and tossing it in the lake. The wasp dove for it, straight into the water, which bubbled and glowed purple as they watched in sorrow, "How do you kill a wasp? Drown it. Just like its father."
"Donna, that thing couldn't help itself."
"Neither could I."
"Death comes as the end," Agatha remarked quietly, "And justice is served."
"Murder at the vicar's rage," the Doctor said as Donna rolled her eyes, "Needs a bit of work."
"Just one mystery left, Doctor," Agatha turned to him, "Who exactly are you?"
Before the Doctor could answer, Agatha doubled over in pain, the Doctor grabbing her and lowering her to the ground, "Oh! It's the Firestone! It's part of the Vespiform's mind! It's dying and it's connected to Agatha!" Agatha glowed purple a moment later before it faded and she fell unconscious, "It let her go. Right at the end, the Vespiform chose to save someone's life."
"Is she alright, though?" Donna asked.
"Oh, of course! The amnesia! Wiped her mind of everything that happened. The wasp, the murders…"
"And us. She'll forget about us."
"Yeah, but we solved another riddle, the mystery of Agatha Christie. And tomorrow morning, her car gets found by the side of the lake..."
~8~
"A few days later, she turns up at a hotel in Harrogate…with no idea of what just happened," he finished as they stood before the TARDIS, watching Agatha pause at the steps of the Harrogate Hotel days later, glancing back a them, "No one'll ever know."
"Lady Eddison, the Colonel, and all the staff, what about them?" Donna asked as Agatha walked to the hotel.
"A shameful story. They'd never talk of it, too British. While the Unicorn does a bunk back to London Town, she can never say she was there."
"But what happens to Agatha?"
"Oh, great life! Met another man, married again. Saw the world. Wrote and wrote and wrote."
"She never thought her books were any good, though. And she must have spent all those years wondering."
The Professor watched the door to the hotel close behind Agatha before turning to Donna, "Follow me."
The Doctor smiled widely, heading after the Professor as she stepped into the TARDIS, knowing what she was going to do.
"Thing is," he began as the Professor lifted the grilling by the console and stepped down, rooting around for something, "I don't think she ever quite forgot. Great mind like that, some of the details kept bleeding through. All the stuff her imagination could use. Like Miss Marple!"
"I should have made her sign a contract," Donna mumbled.
The Professor lifted the old chest she'd given the Doctor out and set it on the floor.
"Here we go," he grinned, opening it as she pulled herself out to sit beside them, "'C,' that is 'C' for Cyberman…" he tossed aside a chest plate, "'C' for Carrionites…" and set the globe down, along with a bust of Caesar, "And…" he pulled out a paperback, "Christie, Agatha," and held it up to Donna, "Look at that."
It was a copy of 'Death in the Clouds' with a large wasp on the cover.
"She did remember!"
"Somewhere at the back of her mind, it all lingered."
"Look at the copyright page," the Professor told her, her reason for getting the copy in the first place.
Donna took the book and looked inside, "'Facsimile edition published in the year…5 billion!'"
"People never stop reading them," the Doctor nodded, "She is the best-selling novelist of all time."
She sighed, "But she never knew."
"No one knows how they'll be remembered," the Professor remarked, looking at Donna intently. All this travelling with the ginger had reminded her of just how she wanted to be remembered, not as the hardened warrior from the war, she wanted to leave that behind her, "We can only hope for the best."
The Doctor grinned though, her insight seemed to be returning as well, "Maybe that's what kept her writing. The same thing that keeps us travelling," he reached out and took the Professor's hand a moment, beaming when she squeezed his hand back, "Onwards?"
"Onwards," Donna nodded.
The Doctor and Professor got up and walked to the console, setting it in motion, watching the central rotor rise and fall as they took off to their next adventure.
A/N: Next chapter we get River Song and...another flashback (a very sweet, VERY 'early days' one) :)
One reviewer asked when the Doctor and Professor are going to get married. I'm not going to say exactly when, but don't worry! They DO get married before the end of 10's era, she WILL be marrying 10 :) Which brings up a question...
The next story, the 10-specials (6 chapters as I'm including The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith ^-^), since there's so few of them, I'm not going to post The Next Doctor on the same day as Journey's End or the Eleventh Hour with The End of Time Part 2 (sorry!) and because there are only 6 chapters there are, so far, no flashbacks at all. However...I'm debating, since there are so few chapters and I'm not posting the ends/beginnings on the same day, to put a flashback in every chapter...I'd like to know what you all think of that, because...as a treat...if you do want me to put a flashback in, I have an idea. I'd like to try my hand at writing requests. Meaning, if you have any moments you want to see that you haven't yet, you just drop a review and I will try to find some way to put them into the next story (or at least the ones that I haven't put something similar of in later stories). So what do you think? Let me know if you want flashbacks and I'll announce next chapter whether or not I'll do it and then, starting next chapter, you can drop a review with your ideas :)
Speaking of reviews, congrats you guys! You've beaten Reunion! You are awesome!