They were parked outside. Gokudera had Band-aids on his cheek. Bandages wrapped around his lower right arm, upper left arm, left ankle, and right calf. The rest of his body was spotted with bruises. He thought he should hurry and go into the hospital. Not hold up his ex-lover returning to his adoring family. But he was scared. There was a connection there, like a string of yarn, it was becoming thin. Stepping out the car would snap it. He was scared of that. Frightened to the point of numbness.
"You really are amazing," Ryohei said. "I… I never would've had the balls to come out. But you…"
Gokudera said nothing. Just stared at the hospital looming next to them outside like hell waiting to snatch Gokudera away from everything's he's ever wanted.
"I love Hana," Ryohei confessed. "Not the way I love you. But I care about her and I can't risk letting her and everyone else down. That's all. If I hadn't been so stupid, things would've been different."
Why did Gokudera feel so bad? He kept trying to sort through his mistakes, but in the end everything turned out as Ryohei's fault. He asked him out. He wanted to keep things a secret. He married Hana. He wanted to continue the secret meetings regardless. He even promised that they could run away. Gokudera simply stayed dreaming. Was that so wrong? Ryohei was the one who had ruined it all, right? He convinced himself of this. Held as strongly onto that conviction as he could. Just long enough to step out the car.
"Yeah, if you hadn't been so stupid."