He must've looked like an idiot. Or crazy. Or both.
There he sat on the park bench. Alone, crying. Immersed in sheets of pounding rain. Bandages hung from his body like skin he had just got done shedding off. He couldn't bring himself to walk into the hospital. To reveal he was the victim of a hate crime. To let the doctors see him sob over a broken heart. Something no surgery could fix. Not even one by a psychologist. He felt dumb, so he had no doubt that he must have appeared to be pretty dumb too.
During the car ride, Ryohei slipped him a credit card and told him to go, paying him to leave. Said that it'd be best for both of them to not be tempted to see each other. Put a want out of reach and the effort discourages sin. Gokudera didn't know what to do. In one way, it made sense. In another, he didn't want it to end like that. He wished that he didn't leave that way. It would have better if they shared one last kiss then said goodbye the way parting lovers do. The anger, the frustration, the cruelty that their empty separation was filled to the brim with was too sick to leave Gokudera feeling any better. He'd felt he'd vomit. He was amazed that he managed to stop the tears eventually. Felt relieved when a certain deadness fell over him. The kind one's overtaken with when the body's taken in so much pain that it forgets how to register it anymore.
He looked to the sky. The droplets sliding down his cheeks and the burning of his overused eyes didn't make it feel like he ever stopped crying. He transported his mind to the times when he Ryohei met a café far from Namimori. Hands entwining underneath the table. Whispers of fondness. Nothing felt cold. Nothing was sharp. Nothing stung. He remembered the hotel and the sheets hiding them from the world. Letting them forget they weren't in their own home, making love and that they could wake in the morning to eat breakfast together, go to work, and return to hear, "Welcome back!" No, leaving that room—leaving that building meant leaving a place where that fantasy existed. No "Welcome back."
Those thoughts. The memories of smiles and peaceful love made Gokudera look at the credit card Ryohei had given him. He decided he'd go, never forgetting what kind of greeting he'd receive upon his return.