Chapter 4
After reprogramming her Maiden for Hire, everything was peaceful for Excel. It was day after day of kissing, fondling, and all sorts. Excel was rather happy of her Maiden. The Maiden served Excel a huge plate of stroganoff. She ate it up, fast and messy, as the Maiden cleaned her up.
"Oh, Hyatt… That was so delicious…"
Hyatt giggled, "Thank you. My cooking has improved, always."
She then spoke, "I love to cook for you, since you never get a huge meal, in the past."
It was one remark about Excel's past.
Excel was cured of her sudden shocks. However, she stayed loyal to Hyatt, her Maiden for Hire.
"One question… How come you never eat? Are you like anorexic or somewhat of a vegan?"
Hyatt Maiden responded, "No… I'm actually not supposed to eat anything. The only food Maidens and Butlers eat is electricity."
Excel then smiled, "Oh, well. At least you don't bleed from your mouth."
"If we do, we'd have red oil in us. Maybe Miss West and the other employees would make us even more realistic."
Excel smirked in annoyance, "Ew… Excel was curious, but I guess not."
Hyatt Maiden smiled, "But we do simulate saliva. That makes Pleasure Mode more real."
Excel then held her tight, as Hyatt giggled, "Ah… You're so cute."
XXXXX
Excel called for Hyatt Maiden.
"Can you be helped?" She bowed.
Excel smiled, "Clean up time! My room is a mess!"
Hyatt was pumped up and cheered, "Leave it to me!"
She ran around the apartment, cleaning in a breakneck speed. It lasted 20 seconds, since the apartment was very small.
"Holy teacakes!" Excel cried, "That was so awesome!"
"If anything, you come calling for me," she bowed, "I'll be here for your heart's desire."
Excel blushed.
XXXXX
Hyatt Maiden removed her uniform and put it in the washing machine. She posed sultry, in front of Excel, as she sat down.
"My uniform is one-of-a-kind," she said, "It is time to wash it, anyway. Your clothes are next."
She wiggled her hip and blushed, "Oh, Master Excel… I love working for you… It'll be three months since we are together."
Excel stripped down into nothing, as she dropped her clothes in her basket. She then held Hyatt Maiden and blushed, "Excel needs you to wash more… We are being romantically involved, aren't we?"
Hyatt Maiden removed her bra and threw it in the laundry. She then whispered, "Excel…"
They kissed again, as they made out on the floor.
Sumiyoshi peeked inside and said:
Get a room…
XXXXX
But back at ACROSS, Hyatt heard the bad news…
"She what?" Hyatt cried, "Senior Excel quit?"
Il Palazzo, "I'm sorry that it was sudden, Agent Hyatt. But after her psychiatric routine, Agent Excel is taking a leave of absence."
Hyatt sobbed, "She… She cannot leave me! I mean, without Excel…"
"Yes, I know… Without Excel, there's no comedic touch to ACROSS. So, I have decided that for the time-."
"It's her fault!"
"Come again?"
She growled in a serious tone, "This is all your fault, Lord Il Palazzo! If we'd only helped her, before the Maiden for Hire came to her life!"
She yelled, "Lord Il Palazzo, how could you?"
Il Palazzo was worried, as he contemplated over Excel. He then thought of everything that happened to Excel. He then groaned, "Excel…"
Il Palazzo's sad time with Excel – By: Excel
(Il Palazzo): Oh, Excel… I am so sorry that everything happened to you.
(Excel): Excel is done. I QUIT!
(Excel runs off)
(Excel): Goodbye, Lord Il Palazzo! Your Excel is heartbroken.
(Il Palazzo): Oh, Agent Excel… Your heart has been flowing towards me, but you belong to another.
(Excel): End of relationship!
Bad End
Il Palazzo held the rope and said, "Hyatt… Do you enjoy the trap door?"
"Well…"
He tried to pull it, but was hesitant. He then growled, "I cannot do it! Everything that I did has turned to crap! If you fall into the water, Agent Hyatt, then it wouldn't be the same."
Hyatt bowed and was sad, "I am afraid that we've lost Senior Excel… to a slut-bot!"
Il Palazzo shouted, "NO! We have not! Excel will one day evade from her porcelain-skinned, mechanical girl. She will return, eventually. After that, I shall discontinue the services, right away."
Hyatt sobbed, "Senior Excel… Please come home…"
But one week passed, and Excel and her lover, the Maiden in question, kept on going. However, she will learn that fixing a Maiden can be tough… but disastrous.
And their relationship went from awesome… to plain worse. You'll see why.
Excel then carried Hyatt Maiden into the room, as she laid the futon out. She then blushed, "Miss Maiden lover… Excel Excel wants your hot body again."
"Of course you do," Hyatt Maiden smiled, "Allow me to do the honors."
As she removed her dress, it happened. She buzzed and sparked a bit. She then glow her LED eyes to an infrared and stared at Excel.
"Excel… My master… Excel Excel…" she spoke robotically.
She removed her dress and stood in place. She then buzzed, while letting out a sharp glow in her eyes.
"Master Excel…"
"Huh? What gives?"
She smiled, "I want to honor you, so much, and give you guaranteed service, as long as you say."
She then scowled evilly, as she spoke in a distorted voice, "DESTROY!"
"AHH!" Excel screamed, as she stepped back in fear.
Her Maiden began to malfunction. She went berserk, after a little fiddling with her circuits.
"Hyatt! It's me! Excel's Excel!"
"TARGET DESTROY! DESTROY! MUST DESTROY!"
She ran off, running away from the Maiden. She ran out of the house, and into the streets, running from the Maiden, who was completely violent. She destroyed cars and street lights, in her path, all while chasing Excel.
"You cannot run from me," she beeped, "I will make you love me. DESTROY!"
"WHAT DID EXCEL DO?" She screamed, "WHY WON'T YOU REMEMBER ME? I CANNOT RUN FROM YOU!"
Hyatt yelled, "WAIT! EXCEL! MUST DESTROY EXCEL! MUST DESTROY!"
She tripped and fell to the street's pavement, as she had a nosebleed. She winced, "Excel is being chased by a Terminator-like Maiden!"
The Maiden approached her and buzzed, "Now… DESTROY! I will be your lover… WHEN YOU DIE!"
She clamped her neck and shouted, "EXCEL! Must destroy you!"
Excel gagged, "NO! Excel's Excel! You got it all wrong!"
Hyatt then clasped her neck, about to break it. She was leaking tears, as Hyatt said that she is being used by Excel. She was about to kill her, since her Laws of Robotics were tampered.
Excel couldn't take it anymore. She sobbed and wept, as Hyatt stopped.
"Hyatt… I love you…"
Hyatt let go, after those words. She then buzzed and shook.
"Error… System malfunction… Cannot kill… DO NOT disobey prime directives…"
Excel hugged her and said, "No… I love you so much…"
Hyatt shook, "I love you, too… I don't know what came over me…"
They started to kiss, as Hyatt arrived, in tears, to see them kissing. She ran off, as Excel watched on, while kissing her.
"Hatchan…" she thought.
XXXXX
The following evening… Excel then thought about Hyatt. She then said, "Hatchan was there… Why did she come here, crying for me? Is she worried about Excel's lifestyle?"
She then moaned, "Poor Hatchan… Excel must've felt bad about abandoning her. But that's what ACROSS agents do, to let someone do a mission."
She then said, "But, at the very least… NO more nightmares."
She blushed, as she approached her Maiden, turned off and recharging. She held her left breast and said, "You're so huggable and soft. Excel wants you… forever… and ever…"
The phone rang. She answered it and said hello. It was Hyatt.
"Lord Il Palazzo… He wants you to come back… It's not the same… anymore…" Hyatt said, "He's about to end your Maiden's services."
Excel was shocked, but was happy. She responded, "Cool, Hatchan… I felt bad about you. I'm sorry you saw what occurred… between myself and my Maiden."
Hyatt whimpered, and then coughed. She hung up, as Excel smiled. "Oh, well… My escapades with Hyatt Maiden are now over. And now, I can live peacefully…"
She winked at the robot and said, "Sleep well, my darling Maiden… and thank you."
Of course, it got from worse… to terrible!
"WHAT?" Il Palazzo shouted on the phone, as he called the Maidens for Hire Company in Kyoto, "I am NOT allowed to end the services for Excel?"
Heiji Shaitori remarked, via phone, "I'm sorry. Since you gave her Model #PU-241N, it's her jurisdiction to end the services. Although, when we repaired her, I was shocked that she reprogrammed her for many deeds. Of course, it was acceptable, as long as the user keeps the Maiden Program in her files."
Il Palazzo shouted, "NO FAIR! YOU AND YOUR SERVICES, AND ITS LOOPHOLES!"
He slammed the phone shut and shouted, "DAMN! DANG! DARN! I'm loyally screwed! Agent Excel is gone from ACROSS! Which means… Her cheerful expression will be gone, too. I lost you, Excel… I know you shall return… one day…"
He held up her blue jacket and whispered, "This… This is all that's left of Excel. In the event she is gone, Excel will be in my memories."
He hugged it, knowing that Excel was gone… but for a while longer. He reverted to normal and let out a smile.
"Agent Hyatt, let's move on," he said, "About your mission…"
XXXXX
But he spoke too soon… Excel then called to Menchi and said, "Girl. I'm afraid it's time."
Menchi pleaded to her, not to, but Excel made up her mind.
"Excel cannot do this, anymore…" she said, "I'm sorry, Menchi… but I guess that's it for your sabbatical as my Emergency Food Supply."
Menchi shrieked and fainted in fright. The Maiden bowed and said, "Do you want to see me?"
Excel sobbed, as she held Hyatt Maiden, "Excel is sorry. I don't want you… no more… I feel so bad…"
She shuddered, "And dirty…"
She then remarked, "Our time we had was magical… and sexual… and hot… but I cannot stay with you. You see, I love Lord Il Palazzo… but I cannot love you, too. Don't get me wrong, but…"
Hyatt Maiden nodded and stopped her from talking, "No… I understand, Miss Excel. I know it was tough, but Il Palazzo means more to you, than me. Anyway, it was nice of you to use me, just for fun."
Excel wept, as she sniffled, "Hyatt… I love you… I love you so… I'll never find someone like you."
Her tears fell to the floor, as she wailed and sobbed. The real Hyatt appeared and said, "You have…"
She then sobbed, as well, and ran to Excel, "Senior Excel!"
They hugged, as Excel cried. Hyatt wiped her tears and said, "Oh, there, there. Don't cry anymore. You had such fun with Hyatt Maiden."
Excel blubbered, "Wah! Hatchan! I'm so sorry!"
She cried on her shoulder, as Hyatt sobbed with her.
Hyatt Maiden then sang:
(Hyatt Maiden): It's so hard… for a Maiden
to be free
It's so hard for a user
to let it be
I cannot stay for long
You know that it was fun
But I cannot stay anymore
for my work here is done
My memories! All gone…
My love for you! Deleted!
Don't cry for me, Excel!
I'll love you, down the wire
I'm happy for you
as your Maiden for Hire…
She bowed and said, "Excel… Thank you for your services with me, as a Maiden for Hire. I must leave you now, for my services are no longer needed. Thank you for choosing Maidens for Hire."
She kissed Excel and said, "Goodbye…"
"Goodbye, Hyatt Maiden… and thank you…"
She left the house, and returned to Kyoto… never to be seen again. Excel waved goodbye, with tears in her eyes, as Menchi was crying in hopelessness; she was stuck with just Excel again. Excel wiped her tears and said, "Hatchan… I'm sorry. Excel made a terrible mistake. Please forgive me. Lord Il Palazzo isn't mad, is he?"
"He doesn't know." She winked.
She then coughed blood and died again. Excel then smiled, "Welcome back, Hatchan…" and gave her a hug.
At ACROSS, Excel returned, without her blue jacket. She then hung her head down and saluted.
"Hail… Il Palazzo…" she said in regret.
"Agent Excel?" He asked, "Why the long face?"
She sobbed, "She's gone. I gave her the boot."
"Huh?"
"My Maiden for Hire, for three months… Excel finished. I set her free…"
She then shouted, with tears in her eyes, "AND IF YOU THINK THAT THIS IS YOUR FAULT, LORD IL PALAZZO… IT'S NOT!"
She cried, "It's mine… I betrayed your trust… I disobeyed you… I ruined your gift… I'm so sorry… Your Excel hopes that Lord Il Palazzo finds it in your heart to forgive her…"
She whimpered, as Il Palazzo held up her cyan jacket and said to her.
"Agent Excel… … …CATCH!"
He threw the jacket at her. She caught it and put it back on. She then smiled, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo! I'm so happy! Please… Never buy me another Maiden/Butler for Hire again!"
He smirked, "I promise…"
However, he had his fingers crossed. He thought, "Well, we cannot have them control the world, but it'll be a kick to have five beautiful Excel Maidens in my side, while the real Excel gets in missions."
Excel then said, "So… Now that everything is back to normal… There's only one thing left to do."
She saluted and cheered to Il Palazzo, signaling the end of this story.
"HAIL IL PALAZZO!"
Hyatt smiled and said, "…zzo."
Il Palazzo smiled smugly and thought, "It is bliss…"
"Oh, wait… I forgot…"
He pulled the cord, and Excel fell into the pit.
"WAH! SO SOON?"
SPLASH!
He sighed, "Now… it's bliss."
And he never bought a Maiden for Hire again… in front of Excel, Hyatt, or anybody else, at least…
At Il Palazzo's room, he was being pampered and caressed by the five Excel Robots, in different colored uniforms. They wore a red, green, black, yellow, and white uniform each, all with Excel's exact looks.
Red Excel cheered, "Will there be anything else, Lord Il Palazzo?"
He sighed, "No, I'm fine. You may continue, Excel 3."
Red Excel said, "YOU GOT IT!"
He said, "Excel 4, rub my feet, please. Excel 2, I shall have my lunch now. Excel 5, please change the channel to the news."
The White Excel smiled, holding his feet, "Of course, Lord Il Palazzo."
The Green Excel held the remote up and said, "Would you like Channel 4 or Channel 6?"
The Black Excel giggled, "Your lunch is served, your Lord Il Palazzo."
The Yellow Excel saluted, "Hail, Hot User!"
"Hail to you, too, Excel 1," he smiled.
He then said, "Ah… This is the life…"
And things were back to normal…
Watanabe then saw Iwata returning from the store. He had a huge gash on his face, with a shiner on both eyes.
"What happened to you?" Watanabe asked.
Iwata sobbed, "I ran into Matsuya… and I said hi… and then…"
No. We don't wanna know. Sumiyoshi said, halting Iwata.
The End
Excel and Hyatt hugged each other, as Hyatt died again. Excel then smiled, with a tear in her eye.
"Oh, Hyatt Maiden… I miss you so much," she whispered.
She held up Hyatt's corpse and said, "Maybe when you're dead, I can always make out with you, and pretend that you are her."
She puckered up and kissed Hyatt, "Hatchan…"
They began to make out… for five seconds. Excel gagged, and then threw up on the floor.
"DAMN IT, HATCHAN! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU OOZE BLOOD FROM YOUR MOUTH AGAIN?" She yelled, feeling nauseated, "Ew… EW… EW! That was disgusting!"
Hyatt woke up and asked, "Oh, Senior… Morning already?"
Thanks for Reading!
Today's mission… … …Blue
(Blue is another word for "Sad")