Everyone left that day after breakfast. I didn't see Gwen again, but her things were gone before returned. I was glad, actually – I didn't know if I could handle another confrontation. Lily and Ronnie hugged me several times and promised to write over the short break. They also had apologized constantly since we had left breakfast – they used a variety of excuses that all generally boiled down to Gwen convincing them that I was on the boys' side, whatever that was. They still didn't know that I had spent every possible hour of the past week in the kitchens, and I didn't plan on telling them.

Soon the dormitories filtered out, and I was left alone in our room. After seeing Jeanne off, I finally moved down into the Common Room in front of the fire. There was a comfy tall-backed chair that faced a window, and I found comfort in the warm flicker of the fire and the gently falling snow outside – the Charms book I had brought down to read lay forgotten on the floor next to the chair. I was so focused on these that I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone coughed behind me.

Looking over the back of the chair I came face-to-face with Sirius. He looked rather… awkward… standing there with his trunk and owl and staring down at the floor.

"I… uh…" he finally managed to stutter. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye." I fell silent for a moment and looked away.

"James is gone, you know. He left right after breakfast," he continued. "I suppose he'd rather be down at Hogsmeade than stuck up here in the castle." I eventually turned around and flopped back into the chair, pulling my knees up to my chest. He left his owl and trunk and came to stand beside the chair. I really did want to talk to him, but I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, and I didn't want him to see me cry. He stood there stiffly for a few moments – at one point he looked like he wanted to lay a hand on my shoulder, but he didn't.

"We really did miss you, you know," he said softly as he moved instead to sit in the chair across from me. "I liked helping you catch up in studies. I really wish James hadn't…"

"Been such an insufferable prick?"

"Yeah." He chuckled softly as he looked down at his hands. It was another few moments before he spoke again. "We've been trying to get him to apologize, but he's insisting that you made your decision as soon as you ran back to the girls after what happened with the ink."

"But I didn't!" I burst out. He sat back quickly in his chair. "I didn't run back to them. They didn't talk to me until last night! I hadn't spoken to anyone until then!" At this point I was in tears. "At least Lily and Ronnie had the sense to realize that Gwen was being a right pain-in-the-arse and stood up for themselves!"

I quickly looked back into the fire. Several moments past.

"I hadn't realized…" Sirius said under his breath. "James kept saying that you had chosen your side and then we saw you with them this morning and…"

"He was wrong." I said, wiping my cheeks with the sleeve of my robe.

"I'm sorry."

It was nice to actually hear him say it but I didn't look back at him. I had stopped sobbing but there were tears still making their way down my cheeks.

"Remus and Peter are sorry too. It was actually Peter who wanted to talk to you but Remus and I knew that James would crucify him if he did it…"

"So you figured that James would let you off easier for talking to the traitor then?" I snapped, using the same dangerous tone James had used only a scant week ago. Standing up, I walked over to the window and leaned against the frame. The snow had yet to stop.

"That's not how it is at all," he replied. "It's just that James picks on Peter every chance he gets, and Remus and I don't want to see that happen. This week has been hard on all of us."

He came to stand behind me. "I know James had no right to say what he did. Remus and Peter and I were your friends. We are your friends. And we know that you have to put up with the girls too. Can you at least forgive the three of us for being spineless little prats?"

I didn't reply, so he laid a hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him and nodded. How could I refuse such a sincere apology? He smiled widely and let out a bark-like laugh. "Wait till Remus hears that! You'll have made his whole holiday! Peter's too!" He punched my shoulder lightly and I smiled through the tears. At that moment, the portrait door opened and McGonagall entered, obviously flustered.

"Mr. Black, you were supposed to be at the train station twenty minutes ago! If you are not down there in precisely ten minutes I will be forced to instruct the conductors to leave without you."

"Wouldn't that be a shame…" Sirius muttered under his breath, his smile immediately replaced. He turned to me. "Are you coming with?"

"Naw, I'm not going home for the holiday." I replied. Then, following a sudden urge, I wrapped my arms around Sirius' neck in a tight hug. "Promise to write?"

"Of course," he said, slightly embarrassed – I chalked it up to being an eleven-year-old boy and let him go. He hesitated getting his things but eventually McGonagall's wary eye saw him out the portrait. He gave me one last sad smile before the portrait closed behind him.

Wiping whatever tears were left off my cheeks with the sleeve of my robes, I picked the Charms book up from the floor next to the chair and opened it to the next chapter we would be studying. I scanned each page but none of the words sunk in. Emotions had separated us before, now we were separated by distance.

But having friends again felt nice.

The next week passed slowly. I spent most of my time flipping through study books trying to get ahead for the next semester. I took to the kitchens again, but this time I sought company instead of avoiding it. The house elves seemed obliged to feed me whatever I fancied – they must have enjoyed catering directly to a student instead of simply providing the daily meals. Whatever the case, I was never without something to snack on if I wanted it.

Christmas morning came quietly – my first quiet Christmas. I rolled out of bed and winced as my bare feet met the cold floor. I quickly pulled on a pair of socks and went to wash my face. As I reentered the room, hair pulled up into a ponytail, I noticed the stack of gifts at the end of my bed.

Smiling, I quickly picked up the present at the top of the pile. Ronnie had, of course, sent an assortment of baked goods and pastries. Picking up a jelly filled pastry, I took a bite and opened the card that had come with it – the card began to sing the instant I opened it up. Scared, I quickly shut it and stared around the room. Remembering I was alone, I lay the card open on the bed – the song began again and, less scared, reached for the next present. Jeanne had sent a simple envelope. A Christmas card fell out of the envelope along with a few black ribbons, each with a different colored accent. The note suggested that Jeanne would teach me to braid ribbons into my hair when we returned – she seemed to think that the red accented ribbon would look especially good.

Laughing to myself as Ronnie's card moved on to a different song, I picked up the next gift. This one was from Peter, and contained only a few Chocolate frogs and some Bertie Bott's every flavor beans. The card simply said "I'm sorry – Peter", and then a little farther down "Oh, and Happy Christmas".

Remus' gift was similar, but the note was a little more… thorough. He sent a book of a letter explaining what had happened. I skimmed it and then left it on my nightstand, promising myself I would read it later. Lily had sent a beautiful jewelry box containing an even more stunning necklace with a silver and red pendant. Slipping over my head, I let the pendant hang over my pajamas as I reached for the next gift.

I recognized the spidery handwriting immediately and opened the package even more eagerly. I finally pulled back the last of the wrapping paper to reveal the headmaster's gift. It was a very old, very thick book. An Introduction to… a word I couldn't even pronounce. Flipping open the cover, I inhaled the smell of parchment and traced the writing with my finger. Although the book must have been ages old, the note on the inside had been added recently.

"Brendi –

I hope you find this book insightful. I don't expect you to understand all its material, but the ingenious wizard whose theories reside within these pages may be the only person who knows how to get you home.

For now, I am glad to see you're fitting in nicely here.

Take Care.

APWBD"

I exhaled, realizing that I had been holding my breath. The concept that I didn't really belong here hadn't been in the forefront of my mind for some time. My heart had begun to accept this place as my home, but that thought was far from truth. My being here threatened the universes entire existence.

Only then did I realize that I hadn't missed my family in over a month. I had gotten so caught up in the joys of Christmas and the burden of my presence in this world that I hadn't given a thought to my brothers, or my dad. Would they be spending the day alone, hoping that by some Christmas miracle I would walk through the door and back into their lives? Certainly by now Aaron had found someone else to be his girlfriend, to drive him home on rainy nights. The smell of his shampoo rose steadily to the surface of my senses and I took a deep breath. It was almost as if he was still sitting there next to me, smiling over something silly I had done. My heart began to ache, knowing that there was no chance I would see them again, at least anytime soon.

Carefully closing the cover of the text, I knelt next to my trunk, placing the book carefully on the floor next to me. I began to unpack the right hand side of the box, continuing until I could see the bottom. Only then did I pick up the book, wrap it in an unused shirt, and lay it gently at the bottom. Determined, I covered the book with the belongings that I had just removed. I wasn't ready to read that text. Not just yet.

But it was too late – the ecstatic mood of my first Christmas at Hogwarts had been stripped from me. Moving again to the bed, I began to clean up the wrappings of the gifts that my friends had sent. All of the food went under the bed, and the necklace returned to the jewelry box which was gently placed on the night stand.

When I finally turned back to the bed, I noticed a small black box attached to a larger envelope. Curious, I climbed up to sit crosslegged on the bed and then reached for the package. I opened the envelope first, and pulled out two pieces of parchment – one thinner than the other. The thin one was a note.

"Brendi –

I know things have been tough, and you haven't been treated the best. And I'm sorry for that.

I found this by the Black Lake that week that we weren't talking. I meant to keep it but I realized that you deserve it more. Besides, I don't want have anything that reminds me of how bad we hurt you. I begged my cousin Andromeda until she put a charm on it. Hold it tightly and say my name and the trinket I have here will glow. I'll do the same with mine and yours will glow. That way we both know we still care.

I'm sorry I haven't written more, but I don't often get a chance. Mum's asleep now, or you wouldn't have even gotten this. I miss you. Happy Christmas.

-SB"

I reached over to the small black box and flipped it open. On a thin bed of fabric sat a stone – an ordinarily looking rock by any means except for its very smooth polished surface and a jagged line of black that ran down the center of the stone just under the clear coating. I could see how Sirius would have treasured it – it was rustic but beautiful.

I flipped the stone over onto my palm and then wrapped my fingers over it. "Sirius Black," I said. The stone grew warm and then quickly cooled off. Then nothing happened. Hmph I huffed.

I placed the rock back into the box and reached for the thicker parchment. It was a picture of me and the boys in the library – I was buried in a book, unaware that the picture was being taken, but the boys were smiling brilliantly behind me, preparing to ambush me. Across the bottom, Sirius had scrawled something.

"Mates Always!"

I shook my head and laughed before pinning the picture up on my headboard next to my night to the note, I gasped. The stone in the box was glowing brightly. I picked it up and it was warm to the touch. For an instant I was reminded strongly of Sirius' laugh, and then the stone dimmed.

He really does care.

Smiling even wider, I put the stone very carefully on my night stand next to the jewelry box and then took to my trunk. I needed to get ready for Christmas brunch, the beginning of a day that was quickly getting much better. Even if I couldn't see my family, perhaps I was gaining a new one here.