Letter #12

Hi Cath,

Kind of an odd thing, the other night. I'm trying to think about it. You know how I am, when it comes to Mustang's security around here. Well, I knew he was going to a meeting with three or four of the local elders, including the one who Rakhella is studying with. He didn't feel there was any need to take one of us along, so none of us went.

But I get really antsy when he's off somewhere alone. So I kind of strolled around the meeting area for a while. And then I started noticing other people heading in the direction of the meeting. Five or six of them. They weren't together as a group. I kept seeing one or two people at a time going in the direction of the elders' tent, as I walked through the surroundings. I recognized one of them—he's kind of like a deputy mayor of the local town. With the others, I couldn't really see their faces.

That made me really suspicious. We worry about ambushes and that sort of thing, and we always worry about Mustang being alone. Always. That deputy mayor has never been antagonistic or anything, and up to that point, I'd always thought he was an okay guy. But I'm never completely sure about people. At least, nobody except our core group. Not any more.

So I started taking to the shadows and sneaking closer. The tent is on the outskirts of the little town here, where the buildings are pretty much gone. There was a temple there, but it's really just a large, raised pavement right now. The elders have said that the temple will be rebuilt eventually, but that it's way more important to get the people back on their feet first. I like their priorities.

So you've got that raised pavement on one side, and a circle of trees on the other. And there are plenty of places for people to hide. I pressed myself against the wall of the platform the pavement is on, and I managed to get closer to the tent. I found a bit of an opening where two sections of the tent wall join, and I looked in. Mustang was sitting on the floor rugs with the elders, in a small circle in the middle, with oil lamps all around them. And the newcomers were mostly standing. In fact, they were spread out right behind Mustang. They were mostly in shadow, which really bothered me, since I couldn't tell if they had weapons.

I didn't even know if he had his gloves with him. I worry that he might leave them behind sometimes. Though if any of those guys had attacked him from behind, he'd be dead before he could even reach into a pocket.

Anyway, I decided I really should go in and provide some kind of backup. Just in case. But just as I turned to walk along the tent wall to the doorway, I saw Rakhella standing a few feet away. Just watching me.

I pretty much had to go when she motioned for me to follow her. Once we got out of earshot, she demanded what I was doing there, spying on the meeting of the elders.

"I wasn't spying," I told her. "I was making sure that Mustang was safe."

"Of course he's safe," she said. "He's with the elders."

"Maybe that's true, but I saw those other guys sneaking in, and I had to make sure they weren't doing anything they shouldn't."

She really let me have it. For one thing, she said, the others weren't "sneaking." In fact, she said, "The only one who was sneaking to the tent was you." Looking back now, I can see she's got a point. It wasn't that they were trying to keep from being seen. It was that they were all heading toward the meeting, and as far as I knew, Mustang was only meeting with the elders. And I just can't assume that he's safe, when something unexpected happens.

We had a bit of an argument, anyway. Finally she got exasperated, and said, "The town officials and the elders are meeting with the Colonel to help decide how much Ishvallan culture can wisely be incorporated into his wedding plans."

I hadn't heard anything about that. So she said, "I know this from Elder Usuf." (That's the guy she's studying with.) "Colonel Mustang worried that it might be insulting to create a completely foreign wedding here—having a full Amestrian wedding in the land that Amestris conquered and almost destroyed. Yet he also worried that our people would feel it was an even worse offence if he adopted Ishvallan customs. The elders believe it would be a healing thing if the Colonel and his lady combine the traditions. So they've called in the town officials to help decide which Ishvallan wedding traditions would be acceptable to use."

I hadn't heard any of this. Mustang drives me crazy sometimes, playing his cars so close to the vest. Rakhella asked why it would even bother me, that there are things about Mustang's wedding plans that he wouldn't tell me. I tried to explain that it was all about security, but she just wasn't buying that.

She stopped arguing and just stood there looking at me for a while, and I thought maybe she was getting it. But then she said something that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. "I think your Colonel was right. You are letting things from the past steal your ability to trust people."

"You should talk!" I said. "You didn't like any of us when we got here, and you didn't even know us."

"And now I do," Rakhella said. "And I've changed my mind about Colonel Mustang—and about you."

I really didn't want her to go in that direction. So I said, "You're just not getting it. Do you think I worry because I don't trust your people? I worry because if any of them decided to attack us, we'd deserve it!"

That stopped her again for a minute. Then she said, "You are underestimating the soul of my people. And you do deserve happiness, Jean. Colonel Mustang was right when he told you that. He deserves it—Riza Hawkeye deserves it—and you do also." And then she turned and left, but she said one more thing: "You do deserve happiness, Jean. She wasn't even human."

I just don't know what to think, Cath. I wish you were here to talk to. I don't know what to think about anything.

Sorry for such a long, self-centered letter. I hope you're well, and that the delivery goes without a hitch.

Love you,

Jean