Brothers

A/N: Oh you lovely people. :) Thank you so very, very much for your wonderful feedback. I only have one chapter left for this story after this. I hope you all enjoyed this story so far!

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A soft knock at the door pulled Loki's attention away from his window. Thor lightly stepped into the room, closing the door softly behind him. He stood for a lingering moment, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness of Loki's room.

"Brother, are you in here?" he called out.

"Of course," Loki responded, watching as Thor picked his way across the room.

"Why do you sit in the dark?" he inquired when he found Loki by the window.

"It's comforting," the dark God responded distantly. He stared up at the endless sky, losing himself to the distance of the stars. Thor followed his gaze, his own mind distantly going out towards the stars of Midgard.

"You did not leave your rooms today," Thor said after a long moment. Loki released a quiet sigh, knowing this would come up. He chose not to give Thor a reason why. His brother looked over at him when he did not respond. "Is everything alright?"

Loki considered giving him a truthful answer explaining how reluctant he still felt to this day to be seen by the people of Asgard, or how unworthy he felt to sit in the presence of his once-family. He considered explaining how he still danced the line between sanity and insanity, or how easy it would be to just allow the darkness within him take him over. But he didn't. "Everything is fine."

Thor stared at him, unconvinced. He waited for Loki to elaborate, sighing when he didn't. "Father wishes to speak with you."

Loki stilled imperceptibly, his heart lurching uncomfortably in his chest. "And he sent you to fetch me?"

"No," Thor responded softly. "I came to reassure you."

Loki looked at Thor. He kept his voice straight. "And why would I need reassurance?"

Thor held Loki's gaze as he placed a comforting hand upon his brother's shoulder. "We all need courage to face our fears. Even when we do not ask for it," he explained. "Walk with me."

Loki searched his brother's eyes for a long moment before turning his eyes away with a small sigh. Thor was right. It was an inevitable confrontation that haunted his mind for days, and a tiny part of him was too frightened to face it alone. He took one last look out the window before standing up. He couldn't delay it any longer.

"Alright then. Lead the way."

Thor walked with Loki down the halls of the castle, slowing his normal pace to stay shoulder-and-shoulder with his younger brother. Loki found Thor's presence more comforting than he expected. It was a familiar feeling; one that he hadn't felt in a long time, but one that he welcomed. He matched his brother's steps, keeping his eyes at a downcast as he listened to Thor speak. It was silly conversation, just something to fill the silence, and it dwindled away as they grew closer to the Allfather's chambers.

Loki pushed away the feeling of nervousness, the desperate need to just run away and hide in the dark until it was all over, but he kept his back straight and continued forward. Despite how often his insecurities got the better of him, Loki was no coward.

They stopped before the grandiose doors of the king's chambers, each of the two boys staring up at the elegant carvings as though it was the first time they had ever laid eyes on it. Thor gave Loki's shoulder one last squeeze of encouragement, catching his brother's gaze as their eyes met. All was said, but no words were spoken. None were needed in this moment. Loki pulled his eyes away and swallowed thickly, stepping forward to push the doors to Odin's chambers open.

The dark God made his way into the room silently, muffling every step that he took. The door closed softly behind him. Odin's chambers were just as he remembered: tall windows peeked out to the city below; a large golden bed took up the room to his right, the Allfather's study to his left. He took a few steps toward the study, recognizing the glow of a fire. The study itself was made up of a wall of bookshelves, and a collection of chairs surrounding a table facing a grand hearth. Odin's favorite chair, a high-backed velvet armchair, was positioned before the fireside, in the same spot that Loki recalled as a child. Odin himself, stood before the grand hearth, pensively staring into the flickering flame, hands crossed behind his back. Loki swallowed the knot in his throat and took a few, audible steps into sight. Odin took a glance over his shoulder, his good eye taking in the wary appearance of his youngest son.

"You may sit," Odin instructed, gesturing to the seat closest to him. His favorite chair. Loki didn't move. He wasn't even sure he could. The Allfather held his gaze. "Please."

The God of mischief swayed uncertainly on his feet for a moment before allowing himself to take the few measured steps towards the seat. Cautiously, he lowered himself into the seat, his back stiffly straight, and folded his hands into his lap. He was not comfortable this close to Odin. He would much rather speak with him from across the room than two paces away.

Odin was half turned toward him, the glow of the fire dancing across the golden eye cover placed above his right eye. He stood with the regality of a king, but Loki saw a fragility to him that he had not noticed before. The lines below his good eye seemed deeper, and sag to his aging skin more prominent. Yet behind all that, there was a weariness in his gaze that seemed to be eroding at his mind. The man standing before him seemed almost like a shadow of the King he recognized as a child. The Allfather shifted slightly, but kept his eye upon the flame within the hearth.

"I was told of your venture to Midgard," he said. Loki's heart plummeted to his stomach. He knew this would come up in good time, but a small part of him had hoped it would be put off a while longer. The Allfather wasn't in the mood for small talk, it seemed. Odin turned an eye upon him. "I will give you one chance to explain yourself."

Loki reacted in surprise to the King's offer. He had not expected such an opportunity to be given to him. A million different things came into his mind. Multiple ways that he could phrase his way into Odin's good graces, several different pleas to change the perspective of even those who had seen the events transpire. And then there was the truth, which sat in a very dark corner of his mind, reminding him that everything else that he could say would be nothing more than a bald-faced lie. His heart still felt as though it were seated within his stomach, making an unsettling feeling crawl up his spine. He opened his mouth once, twice, but not a single word came out. His silver tongue felt like lead within his mouth.

Odin eyed him carefully. "You choose not to defend your actions?"

Loki dropped his gaze, his voice low and clear when he spoke. "Words do not change what has been done."

The Allfather stared at him silently for a moment. "No, they do not." Loki stared at the ground, unable to lift his eyes up to face Odin.

"I do not condone your actions," the king continued. "I did not raise such a boy that would willingly slaughter hundreds of innocents in the name of power." The cold feeling was starting to settle within Loki's breast again as he listened to his exploits pass by the lips of his once-father. "I did not raise such a boy that starves for dominion over a weaker race. You were to have greatness, Loki." Odin's voice took on a wistful tone. "Why throw that all away in exchange for such a dark aspiration?"

"I was not to have greatness," Loki said sharply. "Thor was to have greatness. I was just the stepping stool for his glorious ascension to power." Loki tasted the familiar hate mix with his heart-wrenching hurt as he glared up the Allfather. How dare he speak of greatness when he was denied such an opportunity from the very start.

Odin stood firm. "I never intended for Thor to be more favored than you."

"Of course not," Loki snipped sarcastically. "You wanted me to believe that I, like him, had a chance to sit upon the throne for Asgard. But that would never be." His anger boiled within his chest, and he squeezed his shaking hands closed. "It was all a lie! Everything I thought I knew was a lie!"

"It was not a lie!" Odin shouted. "Every praise, every opportunity I placed before you was a testament to your skill and achievements! I was proud to have you as my son! It eased my mind to know that I had not one, but two capable sons to lead this realm to glory."

"How can I believe that?" Loki asked. "How do you expect me to believe that after everything you kept from me all my life? I was always the outcast. The unloved, unwanted second child. A Frost Giant. A monster in sheep's clothing."

"I made a mistake by not informing you of your true heritage, and I will always regret the events that transpired due to my reluctance," Odin said desperately. "But I will never again hear that you are unloved as a son of Odin. I took you away from Jotunheim for more than a hope of future peace between realms. I took you here to give you a family. I wanted to give you the chance you were denied before you were even old enough to understand what had been sacrificed."

Confusion cut through Loki's anger, cutting his sarcastic retort short. "Why?"

"Because," the Allfather said quietly, a moment of humbled nostalgia coloring his tone. "Even I cannot leave a child to suffer alone."

The phrase hung in the space between them, chilling Loki's anger. His mind bubbled with so many questions still left unanswered. His throat felt thick and his mouth dry. His breast felt heavy, like there were too many emotions churning within him, threatening to spill out with the utterance of a single word. He was so precariously close to losing himself to the hurt, the confusion, and the sadness that he tried so desperately to hide away for so long. He stared helplessly up at the Allfather, hot tears burning at the edge of his eyes.

"You should have left me that day," he whispered brokenly. "None of this would have happened. It would have been better. For all of us."

Odin closed his good eye, suddenly looking less like a king and more like a weary, old man who had seen the world crumble over and over right before his eyes. "No, Loki."

"No, Loki."

The words were like a lightning strike upon Loki's heart. He gasped for breath like he was struck in the gut, a single tear falling down his cheek. It was the same phrase, the exact words, Odin had said when Loki hung from the edge of the Bridge. He remembered them with such pain, such disappointment. But now… Now Odin spoke the words with a soft sadness. A touch of heart-wrenching pain barely covered by pride. A second tear dripped off Loki's chin.

"I don't understand," he choked out. "What am I getting wrong? Why can't I understand?"

As the tears slipped down his cheeks unbidden, a strangled sob caught in his throat. He hid his face within shaking hands, trying to stifle the emotions rushing up within him. He was so frustrated, so disappointed in himself. Why couldn't he understand what everybody was trying to tell him? Was it so out of reach that he would never understand it?

"Loki, my child, look at me," Odin pleaded softly. Loki lifted his head from his hands, red-rimmed, teary eyes staring hopelessly up at his once-father. "You are blinded by the betrayal you feel within your heart, and refuse to see the people who love you for who you are. The love is there for you to take, you only need to reach for it." He gently placed a hand on Loki's cheek, his one good eye desperately hoping that his youngest son would listen. "You are loved, Loki. You always were, my son."

Loki didn't know what to say. His emotions filled in his response in the absence of his words, his carefully built barriers crumbling before him. The words Odin spoke settled within his breast, somewhere close to his heart, but his eyes continued to cry. His chest continued to heave heavy sobs as he leaned down over his knees, while a heavy, familiar hand gently rubbed his back in comfort. It felt like was too much for him, but he knew that it was exactly what he needed to hear.

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Later in the night, Loki left Odin's chambers in search of his own feeling throughly exhausted, physically and emotionally. He had expected to be alone so late in the night, but he was surprised to see Thor jump up from his spot against the wall, worried blue eyes meeting his red-rimmed green ones.

"Brother, is everything alright?" he asked anxiously, taking a few steps closer to inspect Loki's obvious signs of distress. The God of mischief took in his brother's bleary appearance, the obvious sleepiness pulling at his eyes, but something warm touched upon his heart that Thor had willingly waited for him to emerge from Odin's chambers. Loki recalled a few words that the King had spoken before he had left.

"Thank your brother, Loki," he had said. "For he insisted that you should be given another chance to be a part of our family. He never once doubted you, and reminded all of us why we should not as well."

"Everything is fine," Loki said carefully, meeting Thor's eyes. "Thank you… Brother."

Thor stared at Loki, his blue eyes misting a bit. A giant grin pulled at his lips before he reached out to pull Loki tightly against him in a familiar, brotherly hug. Loki let out a sound in surprise, but allowed a smile of his own to form on his lips at the warm feeling blossoming deep within his soul. Maybe this was the feeling he had been longing for so long. What he thought he lost, he had always had. He just needed to look.