Sorry for the wait but I've been enjoying some well deserved vacations! So, here's the new chap, hope you'll like it. Let me know what you think!
Richard had left the tavern and was now walking in the woods, after Kahlan. He had lost time explaining to Zedd and Cara how he had to go after Kahlan and make sure she was safe. The hardest part hadn't been to explain why he had to go after her but to convince the Mord-Sith to stay with Zedd and keep on searching how to defeat the Keeper.
Following Kahlan's tracks had been easy since she didn't bother covering it. Fastening his pace, Richard had easily found her. Yet, he was staying at a reasonable distance, making sure she didn't know he was here. He didn't think he was ready to talk to her, all the emotions building and boiling inside of him were keeping him from being able to think straight. He knew that if he talked to her, his anger would take the best of him and he didn't want to fight with her. He understood why she had to go to Aydindrill, but the idea of her lying with another man made him sick. His reason was telling him to understand her choice, but his heart didn't understand why his love wasn't enough.
After a whole day of walking in the forest, he noticed she didn't even stop for food or water. When it got too dark to keep on walking, she stopped and sat down against a tree. Not bothering lighting a fire, she took her green blanket out of her bag and wrapped it around her shoulders. She then reached for Richard's shirt she was wearing at the tavern and her dagger for protection. Clutching the shirt and the weapon against her chest she tried to fall asleep but instead of slumber, pain and sorrow overtook her and she cried all night long. Watching her from afar, Richard's heart ached. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be fine, except that nothing would be fine, soon she would take a mate and their ways would part for ever. Richard did not find sleep either that night.
When morning came, Kahlan got up slowly. Her back was killing her for resting against a tree for so long. She put the shirt and her blanket in her bag and her dagger in her boot. When she got up, she adjusted her dress and hoped that there was a river or a lake not far away so she could wash a little.
Richard followed her all day, she was still not eating, barely drunk water when she had stopped by a river to wash. The sun was getting lower in the sky and he knew she would have to stop her journey for the night. Suddenly, the voice of a man caught his attention. He discretely got closer to Kahlan to see her standing in front of two men that Richard identified clearly like two robbers. Nothing she couldn't handle.
"I have nothing valuable for you." Kahlan stated.
"A beautiful woman always has something to offer." A man replied, clearly not acknowledging that they were in front of a Confessor.
"You'll have to come get what you want, because I'm not giving you anything." She told him.
The shorter of the two men approached her, trying to take her bag pack, she grabbed his arm and elbowed him harshly in the jaw and he felt unconscious on the floor.
"You sure know how to fight for a woman." The last man standing stated, getting closer to her. Without a warning his fist hit her jaw, making her stumble backwards. The man was much bigger and stronger than the first one. Kahlan looked at him and smiled. He hit her a second time, cutting her lower lip. She did not attack him in return.
"Are you one of those women who like it when it's rough?" The man asked with a wide smile on his face.
When his fist encountered her stomach, she fell on the floor, catching her breath. She got up again, it was too much for Richard, he didn't know what she was trying to accomplish here, but he had to end it so he ran towards her. Before he could reach her, the man had his sword in his hand and was already attacking Kahlan, she couldn't block him but she managed to grab him by the neck and confessed him. All she saw was another sword going through the man's body from behind, and she collapsed on the ground, unconscious.
When Kahlan opened her eyes, it was dark. She heard the sound of a fire. Her face and stomach were aching. Slowly she remembered the fight, releasing her powers. Trying to find where she was and who had started the fire, she tried to sit up.
"You shouldn't sit." She heard a voice say. She immediately recognized Richard's voice. Looking around her, she realized she was in a cave. Richard was sitting across the fire, starring at her. She laid on her back and he said: "I cleaned the wound his sword let you on the stomach, there is an ointment on it. It's not too deep, you'll be okay tomorrow." He explained.
She nodded and looked down to look at her wound. That's when she realized she was only wearing his shirt.
"You... undressed me?" She asked.
"I had to, to heal your injuries. You're beautiful, you won't even have to confess your mate to order him to lay with you." He replied bitterly.
His sentence hit her harder than the fist of the robber had before. She closed her eyes, trying not to cry.
"You have to eat, it'll help for your recovery." He said.
She did not answer, keeping her eyes closed.
"You let him hit you, why?" He asked.
As she didn't move, he asked again: "Why did you let him hit you?"
No answer.
"Damn it Kahlan! WHY?" He yelled, making her jump.
She finally sat up and looked at him.
"What do you want me to say Richard?" She asked, anger filling her eyes.
She continued: "Do you want to hear me say that I let him hit me because I deserve it? Because I hate myself for hurting you and I wanted to be punished? That I want to feel on my body the aching I feel in my heart?"
"Is that what you want? To know that I'm miserable? Do you want to know that the man chosen as my mate won't be confessed when he takes me? That I'll beg for him to stop when he will ease himself on me?" She added, sadness replacing anger in her eyes. Richard was staring at her, he didn't really know what to say.
Kahlan took a breath and continued: "If my mate is confessed, I'll order him to stop, but if he is not, no matter if I beg, cry or plead, he'll go through with it to make me with child."
She got up and ran out of the cave, he heard her throw up.
Before getting up, he poured some water into a cup and went outside the cave to give it to her. She was bent in two, holding her hair with one hand.
"I don't need your pity Richard." She told him when she heard him getting close.
He handed her the cup that she took, putting some water in her mouth before spitting it on the ground.
"Does it ease your pain? Knowing that I'll be punished until the end of my life for betraying you? That I'll look at my daughters hoping they were yours too?" She asked again. Her tone was so cold that Richard was speechless.
"Don't worry Richard, the woman who chose her duty over you will regret it until her last days." She added, her hand patting his shoulder and giving her the coldest look he had ever seen. With that, she walked back in the cave.
When Richard stepped in, he saw her gathering her things.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I'm leaving, I can't stay here." She replied, not bothering to turn to him.
"You can't leave, it's already dark and dangerous out there." He told her.
"I can't stay here with you." She told him. Her tone was still so cold, similar to the one she had when she was into the ConDar.
"Kahlan, you're bleeding." He said, noticing the wound on her stomach was marking his shirt with blood.
She ignored him and made her way to the exit of the cave which was blocked by Richard's body.
"Step aside." She ordered, looking straight into his eyes. Richard didn't move. This was not his Kahlan, she was in shock, she wouldn't react like this, going alone, half naked in a dark forest, it wasn't like her.
"I said, step aside Richard." She repeated in vain.
Sighting loudly, she decided to push him out of her way, but she was too tired and weak to even make him slightly move.
"Let me go." She said as she tried to push him again.
"I'm not going to let yourself get armed willingly." He told her.
"Let me go." She repeated, now hitting his chest with her fists.
"Calm down Kahlan, you need to rest. Let me take care of your bleeding." He told her calmly, letting her hit him.
"I can't... Richard, please let me go. Please." She begged as tears began to fall down her bruised face.
"I can't..." She sobbed. "I can't keep pretending that you love me."
He grabbed her fists and she added: "Let me go please. Let me go."
Feeling weaker, she fell on her knees and said: "Every time I look at you, I see how much I hurt you... It's killing me."
Richard got to his knees, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"Don't." She said, pushing his hand away.
"I don't deserve your love or your kindness." She added looking down.
He brushed another strand out of her face and she let him this time.
She closed her eyes and said in a whisper: "I'm sorry for pretending everything was alright during that last few days."
"You need to lie down so I can take care of your injury." He whispered.
She was slowly calming down and he didn't want to straddle her.
She shook her head no and said: "You can't love me."
"Kahlan, you've already lost too much blood." He said.
"He's going touch me and... you can't love me now that you know." She said, tears still flooding her face.
Realizing that she wouldn't let him help her, he decided to act differently. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the floor. Walking to her bed roll, he carefully laid her on it.
"You have to hate me." She whispered.
"Try to get some sleep." He told her before he lifted up her shirt and started to work on her wound.
"I can't sleep..." She said, tears running on her face.
Richard brought his hands on each side of her face and said: "Kahlan look at me."
She kept her eyes closed and whispered: "I can't."
"Kahlan..." Richard whispered, he was desperate to calm her. He wanted her to stop crying, to stop hating herself for who she was, what she was about to do. He was enraged about everything but he knew that he had to help her. He loved her above everything else, and as much as it was breaking his heart that she had to go to Aydindrill, seeing her like this was killing him.
"Look at me." He whispered, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.
As she didn't open her eyes, he kissed her forehead and said: "I love you. Don't blame yourself for something you haven't done."
"I lied to you." She whispered.
"From the moment you told me you had to go, I knew what it meant Kahlan. You didn't lie. We both knew but didn't want to admit it to each other." He told her, kissing her forehead once again.
She finally opened her eyes, red from all her cries and said: "I'm sorry you fell in love with the wrong person. You deserve better than me."
"I love you Kahlan Amnell, only you. You are not the wrong person for me because being with you feels so right to me. I love you." He said, brushing a strand of her out of her face, he could see that she was doing better now.
"I'm scared." She admitted.
"I know." He replied. She closed her eyes, she wasn't used to being so vulnerable like this, not matter how hard she tried to show her Confessor face, she was miserably failing.
"You are exhausted Kahlan, just try to get some rest now okay? I'll finish cleaning your wound and we'll talk when you wake up alright?" He told her.
She nodded and he kissed her on the forehead one last time and she whispered that she loved him before falling asleep.