Update! Enjoy!
She sat up and gasped for air. It was the same nightmare again. It was coming back everytime she drifted to sleep. The sun would be up soon so she decided it was best not to try to get some sleep again, it was hopeless anyway.
"It's okay, I'm here." She heard him say. He was sitting at the other side of the fire, he stood there all night, watching her struggling with her nightmares.
She nodded slightly.
"Do you need anything?" He asked.
She shook her head no in answer, but that was a lie, she needed him, she needed his embrace, for him to hold her close, she needed to smell his scent, to feel his heart beat against her hand... she needed him. She was exhausted and she needed him to hold her.
"I'm going to make some tea and get something to eat, after that I'll check on your injuries and we'll be good to go." He stated.
Good to go, the last thing she wanted was to leave this place, she just wanted to sleep in his arms, too feel secure and loved, she wanted to sleep without having nightmares again.
She nodded and a tear escaped her eye against her will and she brushed it quickly with the back of her hand.
"Talk to me." He told her.
"The nightmares..." Was all she could say.
"You didn't get much sleep last night." He said.
She nodded and said: "There was this man... he was on top of me, he was strong and I couldn't get away from him... I could feel him... against me" She mumbled.
"I cried for help, kept calling your name but you where gone." She continued.
"When he was done, I looked for you and when I found you, you... you were with Cara... getting from her what I can't give you. Then Zedd came up behind me and told me that this is what I get for betraying the man I love." She finished.
"I would never do that to you." He told her.
"I know Richard. It's just a nightmare." She replied, trying to smile.
"I heard your cries last night, I should have come to you and hold you." He told her.
"It's alright, this is hard on you too, I understand." She lied.
"No, you don't understand." He said. "I heard you calling my name, begging for me to come save you from him. Heard you beg him to stop hurting you."
Tears were forming in his eyes and he continued: "And I'm so so mad at myself for not being able to help you, I feel so powerless. I should have found a way for us to be together, so we could get married and have beautiful baby Confessors."
He ran his hand through his hair and added: "I have failed you Kahlan and I cannot take you in my arms and tell you that everything will be alright when I don't know how to love you. When my love isn't enough for us to be together."
"It's not your fault Richard. There probably isn't a way to love a Confessor." She replied sternly.
"I won't let anyone hurt you Kahlan." He told her.
"I know." She replied, giving him a small smile.
"Let me check on your wound." He told her as he got up to sit next to her. Lying on her back, Kahlan pulled away her blanket so he could access her stomach where the injury was situated. Lifting up his shirt that she was wearing, he inspected her wound. She tensed up when she felt his fingers touching her skin. He realized that she was trembling and asked: "Are you cold?"
"A little, but mainly exhausted." She replied.
"We should stay here today, it will allow you to rest and recover." He told her.
"Okay." She simply said.
"What? No fighting, no 'I'm alright Richard'?" He asked with a smile, trying to lighten things for the both of them.
"No, no arguing, I'm okay with staying here a little while longer." She replied. Truth was that the more she stayed in the cave, the later she'll be in Aydindrill. As much as she wanted to go home, she was frightened of what was waiting for her there.
"Alright then, today is about resting. I'm quite tired myself you know." He said, getting up much to her dislike. She hoped he would have stayed next to her longer.
Richard put more wood in the fire and then reached his bag pack to retrieve his bedroll and his blanket out of it. Kahlan smiled when she saw him walking in her direction and settling down next to her. She turned on her side to look at him.
"You should try to get some sleep." He told her.
"I don't want to have nightmares again. But you can sleep, I'll be alright." She replied.
Richard smiled and said: "Okay, come here." He got closed to her and welcomed her in his embrace. She laid her head on his chest and he adjusted the blankets on her. Pulling at his shirt, she nuzzled his chest right above his heart, inhaling his scent. She gave a quick peck on his chest, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin against her lips.
"Hold on." He told her as he sat up. She looked at him confused and watched him taking off his shirt. His perfect body always amazed her.
Putting the shirt on the floor behind him, he stated: "A pillow for me, and more warmth for you."
As soon as his back hit his bedroll, Kahlan snuggled into his arms. She kissed his chest again and said: "I love you."
"I remember when I first saw you back in Hartland..." He started, his hand caressing her hair.
"When you saved me from the quad." She said, her head comfortably resting on his chest and her hand caressing his side.
He nodded and said: "Back then you didn't even want me to touch you, because of your powers."
She stood silent and he said: "I know there is a way for us Kahlan, there has to be. I won't let anyone else touch you against your will."
"It's going to be okay Richard. I'm going to be okay." She assured him. It was all a lie. She didn't know how things could be okay but she needed him to believe it. She didn't want the man she loved to beat himself up for something he was powerless about. There was no way for them to be together without confessing him and she didn't want him to feel like it was his fault, because he didn't find a way. It was all her powers' fault, her fault. No one else's.
There was a comfortable silence and said: "I don't want you to stay in Aydindrill."
"What?" He asked, completely taken aback by her decision. He had just told her that he would protect her and she didn't want him to stay by her side.
"You have your quest and, in Aydindrill, I'm not going to be the same, I'll be the Mother Confessor there. Somehow Kahlan Amnell will be gone, I'll have to deal with the council and all lot of others things that the Mother Confessor has to deal with." She explained.
"I'll have to focus on my duty, be strong, emotionless, act like a leader and I'm not able to do all those things when you're around." She added with a sighed.
"Does it mean that you think that I make you weak?" He asked.
"No, Richard, of course not. It just means that I don't want you to see me as the Mother Confessor, bossing people around, having maids, ordering people what to do... I don't want you to be here when I'll confess prisoners who committed horrible crimes..." She said.
"We're not going to argue about this Kahlan, first because being the Mother Confessor is part of who you are and I accepted that a long time ago and second because your sleep deprivation is making you say things you don't really mean to." He told her sternly.
"Now, will you please try to relax and get some sleep?" He asked, almost begging her.
She stood quiet for some minutes and finally let out: "It's not far. Aydindrill. It's just a day away."
"Kahlan..." He warned. He knew she had a lot of troubles dealing with the situation. He just wanted her to sleep and get some strength back.
"I can't sleep. I won't." She said.
"Why? You said yourself that you are exhausted." He said.
"I don't want to sleep because when I'll wake up, we'll have to leave and get to Aydindrill." She explained.
"Here's what we're going to do..." He started. "We're going to sleep for some hours, until it's around lunch time, then I'll go hunting for food while you'll rest a little more. After lunch, we'll relax at the lake, there's a waterfall, it's beautiful. We'll probably have a nap in the grass and then we'll go hunting together for dinner. We won't talk about Aydindrill, we'll just relax. How does that sound to you?" He asked when he finished explaining his plans for the day.
"Sounds okay." She replied.
"There might be some kissing involved too." He added with a bright smile.
"Kissing sounds just about perfect." She replied, smiling as well.
"Now, will you close your eyes and sleep my love?" He asked gently.
"There is something I want to tell you first." She said, avoiding looking up at him. She was watching her fingers caressing his chest.
Gathering her strengths, she propped on one elbow and looked at him.
"No matter what I say or what I do. No matter what will happen, the choices I make, the things I have to do, I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and all my being. Love isn't enough powerful to describe how I feel. You are the reason I wake up everyday." She said, caressing his face.
"All my life I was told that men were either mates or warriors, like puppets to use when needed, loose one, get another one. But then I met you and you turned my life upside down." She added with a smile.
"You made me a better person Richard, you taught me how to laugh and how to love. So, no matter what happens next, just know that I love you and that my greatest regret in life is not being able to have a family with you." She finished with tears in her eyes.
"That's quite a declaration." He said with a smile, making Kahlan blush.
"Everyday I thank the Spirits for sending you to me." He added before kissing her.
When they pulled apart, she took her previous position, her head resting on his chest, caressing his sides with her hand. She adjusted the blankets on them and said: "Maddison and Samantha."
"What?" He asked.
"Our girls, I always imagined that Maddison and Samantha would the names of our baby girls." She replied with a soft smile.
"Well, I thought it could be Grace and Faith." He said.
"Grace and Faith?" She asked.
"Yes, although we would have to name one after Zedd." He joked.
"It's a nice life we could have." She said with sadness in her voice.
"Maybe after I defeat the Keeper, I could go to Aydindrill and help you raise your girls." He said.
"I could never ask you to do such thing. Raising daughters that aren't yours... that aren't ours." She replied.
"You didn't asked, I proposed to help you." He cleared.
"No." She said firmly.
"After you are done with the Keeper, you are going back to Hartland. I don't want you to witness my betrayal every single day of your life." She explained.
"You won't get rid of me so easily Kahlan." He told her.
"Maybe your broken heart will lead you away." She said.
"Well, I guess we will have to wait and see." Richard said. "Or maybe, Maddison, Samantha, Grace and Faith will have you and I as parents." He added.
"I'm not giving up on you Kahlan, not now, not ever." He reassured her one more time.
"That's four daughters." She said.
"If I find a way for us to make love, I don't plan on stopping for the sake of birth control, I'll never get enough of you." He said with a chuckle.
Kahlan blushed and kissed his chest and said: "I love you."
"I love you too. Now sleep my love." He told her.
She nodded and closed her eyes, feeling safe in the embrace of her one true love, Richard Cypher.