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She was lying on a bed, again, the Mother Confessor's bed, in the Mother Confessor's quarters in the Palace of Aydindrill. Her face was as pale as the white Confessor dress she was wearing. It was the middle of the day and yet the sun roaming on her skin couldn't warm her. She was conscious now but not strong enough to open her eyes. She could only feel a weight on her right hand bringing her warmth. Her left arm was painful and the rest of her body was numb. She felt at peace thinking that maybe she had joined the Creator because of the light surrounding her. She finally found the strength and dared to open her eyes. The bright sunlight made her squint, she waited until her eyes adjusted to the light and found herself in a white room. She turned her face to look on her right, wondering where this warmth was coming from. That's when she realized that she had failed, she was still alive. He was right here, holding her hand, the man she had confessed. She had confessed the Seeker of Truth and most importantly, she had confessed Richard, the love of her life. Clenching her jaw, she tried not to cry. He was on a chair but his head was resting on the bed, holding her hand in his. Hopefully, she managed to get free from his hold without waking him. She was glad that he was sleeping so she wouldn't have to hear him call her 'Mistress' or see the particular look of the people she confessed, this soulless look. She slowly left the bed and made her way to him, careful not to wake him. This time she couldn't make any mistakes, she had to end her life in order to save him, that was the only thing she had in mind. She slowly reached for the knife at his belt and held it tightly in her hand. She aimed for her stomach and was about to stab herself when a strong hand stopped her and took the knife from her. Everything happened in a heartbeat, he had his knife in his hand and was holding her tightly in his arms. One hand with the knife around her waist, connecting their bodies and the other in her hair. The sides of their faces were touching and she murmured in his ear: "End my life, now."
"No." He simply replied.
"You cannot refuse me anything. End my life now." She repeated with the same cold tone.
"No." He said again, holding her tighter.
"I know you don't want your Mistress to die but you know how much you will please me if you end my life so you can have your soul back." She explained. She never had to explain anything to the people she had confessed.
"You're not my Mistress Kahlan." He told her, kissing her cheek.
"You might think that you are pleasing me by saying this, but I know what happened, I took your soul." She said.
He finally let go of her and let the knife fall on the floor. He gave her a small smile and said: "You took my heart, but not my soul. I am not confessed."
She ran a hand and through his hair and smile weakly at him and said: "I release my powers on you and Tim, because of the ConDar. Your eyes turned black, I saw my powers taking the best of you."
She let her hand slip to his chest and rest over his heart and said: "Pick up that knife and end my life, now."
Richard smiled at her, which she found very disturbing and he said: "Or, since I'm confessed, like you pretend, you could take me as a mate and we could have a daughter."
She sighed and picked up the knife herself but in an instant, Richard grabbed her wrist.
"Look at me!" He hissed. "Look at me and see the truth of my words. I am not Confessed Kahlan. Your powers didn't work on me."
She slightly shook her head no, he wasn't confessed. That was impossible. Again, she repeated the scene in her mind, she was certain she had used her powers on him.
"It's not possible." She stated. "This is some kind of trick, something's wrong here. I know what I saw, my powers never failed me before." She said.
She paused for an instant, thinking about the situation and stated: "You are confessed but you are willing to say or do anything to please me so I won't end my life to free your soul."
"Then ask me something we both want dearly so I can refuse, and you'll see I'm not confessed." He said angrily and wondering why she was refusing to believe him.
"Make love to me." She blurted out against her will. She immediately bit her lip regretting her order to him. As he was confessed, he would do as she asked and she wouldn't be able to stop him.
He slowly cupped her face with his hand and pressed his forehead against hers.
"This is torture." He whispered, closing his eyes.
"It's not what I meant..." She said, her eyes closed as well.
He smiled and said: "I want you so much right now."
"Richard..." She whispered.
"You can't confess me." He cut her off and back away from her with a proud smile, proving her the truth of his words.
Taken aback, she put both hands on her stomach and said: "I need to see Zedd."
"Something is wrong with my powers, he needs to figure it out." She said as she walked towards the door.
Richard stopped her, she was clearly socked and exhausted and she couldn't think straight, he had to calm her and explain what happened to her.
"Kahlan..." He said softly as he took her hand in his.
"It's not possible." She said, shaking her head.
"You need to get some rest." He told her, wrapping her in his arms.
"I confessed you." She said.
"Just go back to bed and I'll explain everything." He said, kissing the top of her head.
She nodded and he held her in his arms until they reached the bed. She laid under the covers and he sat on his chair next to her.
"First of all, you need to know that you saved my life. If it wasn't for the Condar, I'll be dead. You used your powers on Tim and you ordered him to help me, which he did." He explained.
"But I used my powers on you too." She whispered as tears fell on her face.
"You did. I felt it running through my veins. I felt it coming from your hand and it went straight to my head, it felt warm and strong. Then it went to my heart, as if it was searching for something. I knew I was hurt but I didn't feel any pain. I just felt your love, I felt safe and happy." He continued as Kahlan continued to cry.
"Then I passed out and when I woke up I was with Zedd. He had healed me but was very weak. Everything I could think of was you, I needed to get to you as fast as I could. When I reached the door of your room, Tim was standing there claiming that his 'Mistress' had ordered him to stop anyone trying to get in her room. That's when I knew that something was wrong but that's also when I realized that your powers didn't work on me because I was feeling the urge to see my Kahlan and not my Mistress." He said with a smile, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. She was listening to him carefully, her brow furrowed. She was having a hard time believing him but she knew that he wasn't lying. What he was telling her about her powers was against everything she had been taught.
Richard's smile left his face and he went on with his story: "I had to beat the crap out of Tim to get in your room, I didn't know why at the time but I felt that you were in danger and I needed to get to you. Cara helped me to knock him out so we could enter your room. When we saw you..."
Kahlan winced at the expression on his face, it was a mix of anger, pain and guilt as tears pooled in his eyes, it broke her heart.
"There was blood everywhere... You... you were lying in a pool of your own blood... I thought... I thought you were gone. It weird because Tim was still confessed but I didn't even realized that, my raw fear of losing you is stronger than my logic. I yelled at Cara to use the breath of life on you and she told me that you were still alive but not for long. She tear down my shirt to put around your wrist to stop the bleeding. I couldn't move. She grabbed my hand and yelled at me to press on your forearm while she would get Zedd." Richard said, looking down as he cried.
"I'm so sorry." Kahlan whispered, making him raise his head to look at her.
He swallowed hard and continued: "You skin was so cold. I didn't know since when you were lying there and I cursed myself for not getting to you sooner. I lied down next to you in hope to give you some warmth while I held on your forearm as strongly as I could. I buried my face in your hair and whispered to you how much I loved you over and over again. I begged you to come back to me, I offered my soul to the Keeper in exchange of your life, offered my life to the Creator for you to come back to me. It felt like Cara had been gone for days when she finally came back with Zedd. Cara had to pull me away from you in order to let Zedd heal you. Your blood... it was all over me. I heard Zedd yelling at Cara to give you the breath of life, I remember that I yelled in anger and crushed my fist against the wall. It was only long after that I realized that it was fractured."
"I died..." She whispered.
"Only for a short time, Cara saved you and Zedd managed to stop the bleeding but he wasn't strong enough to heal you completely because he healed me first." He replied and that's only when she realized that his wrist was indeed fractured, it was red and swollen and she wondered how he could manage the pain. Guilt overwhelmed her and she cried again.
"I found your note and took it with me, I didn't even read it then because I needed to get you out of this room, away from all this blood. I picked you up and I ordered Sylvia to lead me to the Mother Confessor quarters. Here." He said, looking around the room.
"You carried me, with a fractured wrist?" She softly asked.
"I didn't feel any pain, I was too worried about you. I needed to get you somewhere safe where you could rest. I needed to take care of you." He explained.
He shifted in his chair and continued: "You were still unconscious and so cold in my arms. I asked Sylvia for hot water to draw you a bath. I... I bathed you carefully, cleaning the blood in your hair and on your body, I couldn't stop weeping. After a moment, Sylvia came back with clean clothes for the both of us. I quickly wiped your blood off of me and changed and then I did the same for you. Finally I laid you in this bed, tucked you under the covers, sat on this chair holding your hand and read your letter over and over again."
"But you're not confessed...my powers..." She whispered, still waiting for him to explain her how it was possible.
"We're almost there." He told her with a smile and continued: "When Zedd regained some strength, he came to check on you and asked for explanation about what happened, since when he healed me I ran to get to you. So I told him everything, the fight, the Condar, that you used your powers on me but that I wasn't confessed. And you know what? He looked at me and smiled."
"I don't understand." Kahlan mumbled.
"He patted my shoulder and smiled. Then he made up a new number of lesson and said that there was no magic more powerful than love." Richard said.
"It makes no sense. Did he at least check if my powers were working?" She asked.
"He did... but he didn't need to because it makes perfect sense my love." Richard replied with a smile that warmed her heart.
"I welcomed your powers in me. I wasn't afraid. It ran through my body looking for hatred or fear but found none. See, the people around you, they fear and hate either you or your powers, sometimes both. I don't really know how this works but when you unleashed yours powers on me, it did not find fear or hate to transform in flawless love because this flawless love Kahlan, it is already in me, in my heart, in my soul, in my whole being. This is why I cannot be confessed to you, because your magic only finds my utter love for you inside of me." He finally explained.
Kahlan sat up in her bed, resting her back against the headboard. She closed her eyes and took a long and deep breath.
"Will you give me some time alone please?" She asked with tears in her eyes.
Richard tried to hide his disappointment and agreed. He never imagined that if he managed to find a way for them to be together, she would ask him to leave.
He got up slowly, tears streaming down his face, everything he wanted was to hold her, make her feel safe in his arms. He understood that she needed time, she was in shock, so much had happened in the last few days and she had to proceed everything.
"Get some rest my love, I'll be right behind the door if you need me." He told her before leaving her alone in the room. When the door closed, she curled into a ball and cried.