Another chapter. Not too many more chapters with this story. Please review after reading.

CHAPTER 5

Grissom lay back on his bed, arms folded across his eyes. Stress and anxiety gnawed at his gut and made him feel queasy. His head still ached and he knew it was all as a result of one person.

He heard the sound of the television wafting in from the living room and could still hear Alex Sidle moving about. He wondered what he was up to.

Finally, curiosity got the better of him.

Pushing himself up from the bed, he made his way out to the kitchen under the guise of making himself a cup of tea.

Alex appeared from the upstairs library.

"I thought you had gone to bed." he said simply.

A concerned frown flittered briefly across Grissom's face.

"Are you looking for something to read?" he asked with fake innocence. "We've got Greek classics, anthropology, Shakespeare….""No, I'm good. Just looking around my new abode." replied Alex nonchalantly. His arrogance made Grissom's skin crawl. He watched as he continued to prowl around the apartment. He seemed unable to settle. There was an edginess that hadn't been apparent earlier.

"Can I make you a cup of tea?" asked Grissom, making an attempt to be polite.

Alex rolled his eyes and continued pacing before running his hands through his hair and grabbing the spare set of keys Sara had left for him on the living room coffee table.

"I'm going to head out for a while." he said as he headed for the door.

Grissom's head snapped up from pouring the boiling water into the cup.

"You're going out?" he repeated dumbly, "Where are you going?"

Alex cast him a look of disdain.

"Out." he replied bluntly, heading for the door.

Grissom turned to face him - face stony serious.

"Alex, we posted bail for you. You've been remanded to our custody. You can't just 'go out' without telling us where you're going." he said calmly.

Alex swung around and glared at him - his eyes radiating with intensity.

"I don't have to tell you anything! You're not my father! You're nothing to me!" The sudden venom in his words stunned Grissom and he watched in wordless astonishment as Alex stormed out of the apartment.

Taking a deep breath and sighing, Grissom leaned on his arms against the kitchen counter.

As glad as he was to see him leave, he felt a pang of regret and uneasiness at the thought of Alex out on the streets. He was almost certain that he would end up on the streets looking to score another hit of drugs.

He was conflicted. He knew he should call Jim Brass and report that Alex had left - but he also knew that, technically, he hadn't jumped bail. He could very possibly waltz back into the apartment as if nothing had happened. There was nothing to prove that he had gone in search of drugs…it was the likely, but a hunch was not enough to get him thrown back in jail….unfortunately.

He thought also about calling Sara. But, again, decided against it.

There was nothing that could be done until he knew if Alex was gone for good or if he would return. There was no point in worrying Sara if he reappeared before she got home.

So Grissom took his cup of tea and sat down on the sofa to wait.

Nick sat back, shocked by what he had heard. He had known that Sara hadn't had a stable upbringing and had known that she had spent time in foster care, but the circumstances behind it had never been discussed before and he had never felt it was his place to ask.

He sat back, speechless.

Sara watched him digest the information. It never ceased to surprise her the effect on others that her story had. She often forgot that most people didn't experience such struggles on their journey to adulthood.

"So," said Nick eventually, "what are you going to do with him?"

Sara shrugged.

"He's my brother." She seemed to have repeated the same response so many times.

This time it was Nick's turn to shrug.

"So?" he said challenging her to continue. "Sara, just because he's your brother doesn't mean he gets a free pass to re-enter your life and upend it. If he's serious at wanting to sort his life out then that's great - but he has to do it on your terms and not on his."

Sara dropped her gaze down to her hands which were nervously rubbing the sheet of paper in front of her.

"But, he's asking me for help." she replied quietly.

Nick leaned forward.

"How far are you willing to go for him, Sar?" he asked.

Sara looked back up but avoided Nick's eyes.

"I have to do everything I can for him, Nick." she said, emotion making her voice crack. "I have to look after him this time."

Nick frowned at the term 'this time'.

"Sara," he said quietly, "you were a kid. You couldn't look after him and you shouldn't have been expected to. That's what adults were supposed to do.""But he's my brother." Sara said again, her voice almost pleading with him to understand her pain. "You have a brother - you would do anything for him wouldn't you."Nick shrugged again.

"Within reason." he said, "But Sara, that's not just because he's my brother. It's because of the relationship we've shared our whole lives. We've had our ups and downs as we were growing up, we have a shared past and shared experiences that have formed who we are today and how we trust and respect each other. That's something that has developed because of our circumstances and not just because of our shared genes."Sara's eyes welled up as the words hit home - she had her brother back but could never get their childhoods back.

Nick gave her a small, sympathetic smile and reached out with his hand to gently touch her forearm.

"I'm sorry, Sar, I really am."

Emotions clouding her response, she tried to offer him a smile back but failed. Reaching with her other hand, she laid it briefly over his before pushing up from her chair and walking out through the door and down the corridor to the ladies bathroom. Nick watched her go, lips pursed in worry and regret, and knew there was nothing he could do to help her.

Sara splashed some cold water on her face to hold back the tears that threatened to push through tightly closed eyelids.

Part of her felt humiliated that she had let Nick see the vulnerable side to her and that she had confided such an intimate secret with him.

Part of her felt angry - angry because she hadn't heard what she had desperately hoped to, and angry because the emotions that she had so carefully locked away had suddenly reappeared.

And part of her felt a curious mixture of relief that her past was no longer such an oppressive secret and confusion at what she needed to do from that point on.

Deep down she knew that Nick was right - she had to be the one to set the limits. As much as she hated to admit it, she really didn't know her brother at all. Like all of the other members of her team, she had worked extensively with people whose lives had been destroyed by drug use and knew how manipulative a drug addled mind could become in its desire to feed its habit.

She lifted her head up and opened her eyes - looking at her reflection in the mirror.

Her face was lined with stress and tiredness.

She looked a moment longer before taking a couple of pieces of paper towel and dabbing the remaining water from her face. Standing straight, she took a deep, steadying breath and straightened her shirt in the mirror.

She had made up her mind.

She knew what she was going to have to do.

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