Across the table kate looked at me.
'talk?' she mouthed.
I nodded eyes wide.
"excuse us," I said getting up.
The other girls looked up at us, nodded.
"ok," they said.
Kate took my hand and led me outside away from everyone.
"yes?" I said.
"sweethart 2 things," she began.
"yeah?"
She looked at me and took both my hands in hers.
"well 1, I like you. A lot. A lot a lot. Ive wanted to kiss you for I don't know how long."
"oh. Um wow," I was surprised.
"im just….not sure that nows the best time."
It was then I realized I needed comfort more than what I was getting from her.
"but…" I got upset and confused all twisted inside.
Tears came to my eyes.
"honey im sorry. Id be with you if I could but im just. Not sure if youd be w/ me for the right reasons. And I wont do that to you."
"but…."
"its not that I don't want to."
"well. Fine then. don't. I don't care."
"yes you do. You do care. Oh youre so hurt."
I remembered there was a 2nd thing she wanted to tell me.
"what was the 2nd thing?" I asked not really having enough patience.
"I think you need to get away. Id say we could go to my place but I don't know how well thatd work."
I thought of my options. There was the café but I didn't really want to go there. And now kates was out of the question. I wasn't really sure where but I knew id find somewhere.
"hun?" she asked blinking and looking at me.
"huh?" I asked coming out of my reverie blinking at her.
"well? Where you wanna go?"
"wherever it is its not w/ you."
I began walking away from her.
"im trying to help you here!" she called after me.
I turned back towards her: "then help me by being w/ me."
"that's not what friends do."
"what, be w/ each other? Yeah I think it is. Unless im wrong."
"no. no. in fact you are wrong. I meant…..let their friends destroy themselves."
Oh.
She had a point but I didn't want to see it.
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