Thank you for enduring this most difficult ride and for your feedback – even the confused, frustrated feedback. This wasn't easy for me to write, finish or to even justify sometimes, just as the first several chapters weren't that easy for you to read. Yet you survived the intense angst, the new girlfriend and the characterization of Annie, to get a more relieving ending that was hopefully EARNNNEEED! [Abed Halloween voice] But now it'll be back to smaller work that isn't almost 50,000 words long, and doesn't emotionally torture my few readers.
When Jeff and Annie became closer friends again the previous fall, it didn't alter the group dynamic. They just got back to their normal pattern of banter, side adventures and the occasional googly eyes. As it turned out, the same status quo stayed intact after they got together on Valentine's night as well. They were just more aware of the googly eyes this time, and made sure they didn't do too many more of them.
The two kept their hands off each other at the dance, then managed to do the same for most of their first official date the next night. Although they could have easily spent the night and the weekend getting….grabby….they worked out some relationship ground rules first. Chief among them was that they wouldn't tell the group about them now, since they had enough to worry about and finally get right without their prying.
At nearly this time last year, Jeff was keeping his new relationship with Alison secret for the exact same reason. Annie nearly bristled at being put in the exact same place, yet she had to admit it was better to keep this between them. At least while they were settling into this new, all-important step of their relationship.
This new step looked the same as the old one on the surface. They still hung out more after school, did the same things and continued to just enjoy each other's company. But this time, they just added kissing to the mix and officially called some of their outings "dates." And this time they weren't in a bubble about everything else.
Now that they had defined their relationship as an actual relationship, it put more of a burden on them. Now they had to talk through their remaining doubts and fears, and be more open about everything else. Jeff had been making huge breakthroughs on that for a year, but it only better balanced out how he could still be pretty insensitive.
And after Annie tried to contain her wilder emotions – positive and negative – for so long, it took a while to let herself be fully open to Jeff as well. Plus after years of Jeff letting her down, Annie couldn't quite let go of the notion that the other shoe would drop eventually.
So with all that under the surface, there were a few fights along the way. Sometimes Jeff didn't want to take things so slow or open up as much on a given night, or sometimes Annie got worried about his commitment to her. She also laid into him a few times for his lack of school work and studying, since these were their last several weeks at Greendale and she wanted to end things right. Of course, not wanting to leave at all and worrying about the post-Greendale future had a role in that.
Since Jeff still claimed – at least in public – that he was happy to leave Greendale soon, he wasn't the most ideal person to help Annie. As such, there was at least one fight that lasted for a day or two and made them a little grouchy in the study room. Fortunately, they were such temperamental people that the group barely noticed, at least when it didn't affect them. Before it could, their fights were usually resolved through the latest Greendale adventure, or their own stubbornness melting away.
They really were capable of fixing themselves and realizing their own mistakes, in a way they couldn't last year. Yet the process did work faster and have less collateral damage when they worked through it together. And as annoying as that could be, Jeff and Annie willed themselves through it – to make the other happy again, and to avoid the big mistakes that derailed them for so long.
Jeff even let Annie come to some of his full group therapy sessions – to check out "the competition" in the healing Jeff race, he said. But as much as being in that group, and the Greendale group, made Jeff feel better – he knew Annie had left them in the dust in that area long ago. Now that she was his girlfriend, she was just lapping the field a few more times.
Still, as the month of May began, even they couldn't completely find comfort in each other. The last days at Greendale were coming, and Jeff's glee over it was getting more and more forced – even to people other than Annie. As for Annie, she was now glad she tried to make the group fail classes to stay together three years ago. Otherwise, she'd wonder if doing it again could actually work.
However, Annie's misery over leaving was tempered by one big development. It had nothing to do with Jeff or her future prospects or her friends – it was just a small matter of being named valedictorian. And since her overwhelming debate victory was still the stuff of legends, Dean Pelton was insistent that she give a big closing speech. He even took time out of begging Jeff to give a speech/stay in Greendale forever to try and sell her. Granted, she didn't need selling, but it was flattering.
So in between final exams, trying to write a speech and savoring her final days in Greendale, Annie's priorities were pretty full. She had no time to worry about where things would go from here with Jeff, whether they could be an open couple yet, and if Jeff being a lawyer again someday would lure him back into douchebag temptation. After she got through her current heartbreaking problems, she could deal with that future stuff and it'd look much easier by comparison.
Yet through all that, she forgot to consider that Greendale would have one more "finale" crisis for the big day. And it was so deranged and gigantic that it'd take a three-part trilogy to fit it all on TV.
It had everything from all their old enemies, nods to every genre in existence, situations from some of Abed's most obscure favorite movies, surprise revelations – though not about Jeff and Annie – and callbacks to all their past adventures. And of course, a giant tanker of paint exploded and rained paint down on everyone, for some unexplainable reason.
In between all that, the total times Jeff saved Annie from danger, and vice versa, ended even at three apiece. As the dust and paint floods settled, Jeff unofficially broke the tie by wiping as much paint as he could off Annie's face and hair. It was a lost cause to try and get the rest of it off her – at least outside the apartment.
Annie took note at how Jeff's face and hair was drenched with paint, yet he hadn't done anything to get that off. She was by his side all day, so she knew she didn't even complain about it – he was just focused on her being semi-presentable. Once she confirmed her lips didn't have paint on them anymore, she bit her bottom lip to contain her growing smile at being that important to him.
"You make a good nurse," Annie teased as a cover for why she was smiling. "Well, Greendale needs its valedictorian to be kind of nice to look at," Jeff replied. "Call it my very last favor to this place."
"Well, combined with your last Winger speech, your last 'reluctant' leadership role and your last hug from the Dean, you've done your share of last favors already," Annie listed. Jeff just stayed quiet as he did his last check up of Annie's mostly clean face.
"Why doesn't that make me happier?" Jeff asked with a heavy sigh. "This is the very last time I'll ever do this nonsense again. And this last bit nearly took you out before your big speech, so I should be extra happy I'm not coming back here!" Yet Jeff still paused and asked, "So how come I didn't sneak away from you so I could celebrate?"
Annie studied Jeff and his words, then smiled a knowing smirk. "You know why, Jeff. You just asked me because I'm….an emotional person. You figured by asking me, I'd tell you you'll miss this place and you love it more than almost anything, so you wouldn't have to. But you know you know that already. So what's the point of me saying something true you already know?"
"You….you really…." Jeff groaned or at least tried to. But he didn't finish saying she really sucked – not this time. "Four years here have done….things to you, Annie," Jeff deflected.
"Aw, you know you l – consider me your girlfriend anyway." Annie stopped herself from saying "love" so quickly that she figured Jeff wouldn't notice. "I do. I really really do," Jeff said in a way that made Annie think he might have noticed. And might have just said it back in his own way.
Annie chose to believe he didn't say it outright because this wasn't the right time. Or maybe he had it planned for later today when they told the group about them. Or maybe he was waiting for her to say it first…..
And she wanted to. At that moment, it didn't matter if she said it first or last – she wanted to say it. She was ready to say it.
Annie's past definitions of love were of overly romanticized girly stuff, or clingy, dangerous feelings that made her ashamed after she acted them out. Now that she had Jeff anyway, she didn't want to say to herself or him that she was in love, unless she felt it the right way.
But she wasn't romanticizing this moment or Jeff. Nor was she feeling possessive or clingy of Jeff. What she felt….was perfect. She knew how imperfect it really was, and she didn't care.
She felt more fluttery than she let herself feel in a long time – yet she knew it wasn't from a naïve or childish place. She knew she could just be reading into things –yet she knew there was a real, genuine chance she wasn't, and that Jeff wouldn't crush her even if she was. She felt like Jeff was really hers – yet now she both knew it and knew it was for the right reasons. Not because she had a crush or feelings she couldn't control, or was using him just to feel loved. It was because she was loved.
And she wanted nothing more than to make Jeff feel that way too. And she could do it because she truly, without a doubt, loved him in the best way possible now.
This spawned a train of thought that was kind of off topic, but it soon tied in perfectly. "Excuse me, Jeff. I still have one more Edison speech to touch up." She headed off, hoping the copy of her original speech had been saved from Professor Garity's drama nerd army by now.
Fortunately, she had memorized the speech enough by now to recall most of it by memory. She recalled the rest of it early in the graduation ceremony, then worked on crafting her new ending during the rest of it. Of course she stopped racking her brain when she came up to accept her diploma and when her friends did, but that was common courtesy.
Nevertheless, by the time it was her turn to close things out, Annie was ready to go. Still, compared to her new ending, the rest of her words seemed generic by comparison. But her textbook research on valedictorian speeches helped her hit the important notes. Like praising the value of education, talking about her humble beginnings, and being the generation that will change the world.
And when the words got too dry and boring for her audience, she used a few Winger-speech techniques to make them stay awake. As such, Annie still had their attention by the time she got to the end.
Then she took a breath and got ready for the final act of her Greendale tenure.
"We've all had our fun mocking Greendale the last four years. And there is a lot to make fun of. The fact that we're drenched in paint on graduation day speaks for itself. And I'm sure it makes it easier to believe that Greendale is stupid, crazy, shallow, bad for you and doesn't deserve to be loved. But I love Greendale anyway. Even if it took me a long time to get it right."
"Anyone who knows me knows that I love school. I love it quite unreasonably at times. I love it even when it might be less than I deserve. I love it even when the cost of loving it hurts me, and I obsess over it in a way that makes me look….unbalanced is the nice word for it. Besides, no matter how great its shiny exterior of A's and perfect scores and material success is….it can't always love you back the way you love it. You can blame it all you want, but eventually you have to know there's something wrong with you too. At least if you expect more than it might be capable of giving sometimes."
"But as hard as it is to love Greendale, I found out something these last four years. I found out I am capable of loving the hard way. I could never accept Greendale's many, many, many flaws four years ago, and I wanted to leave as quickly as possible! I never thought it had anything to really offer me back then, and if I did, it turned out to be all the wrong things. But when I gave it a chance, stuck by it and got to know what Greendale was really all about….it saved my life."
"I know not all of you can see how Greendale can save someone, or make people so much better than they ever imagined. But it can. It made me grow up, even if it was the hardest thing I ever did. It tested my integrity and character, but it made me realize how strong they really are….or can be if I really want them to be. It made me rethink everything I ever knew about myself, the world around me and how to really value life. And what I learned would have shocked and appalled me four years ago! But now, I want to spend as long as I can living the way Greendale taught me. And that's what Greendale really is."
"It isn't the crazy, rotten things everyone believes it is….even me at first. And it isn't the romanticized kind of school I worshipped all my life. It's something so much better, even if Greendale makes it hard to see sometimes. But it couldn't hide it from me forever."
"It gives out so much love that no one else thinks it's capable of giving. It drives you crazy, but it gives you a real sense of family and unconditional support you've never had anywhere else. It lets you be the very best and very worst of yourself on any given day, but it gives you everything you need to let the very best finally win. And I'm so proud of myself that it won in me, in a way it never would have without Greendale."
"That's how I'll always look at Greendale for the rest of my life, and why I'll never listen to anyone telling me different. Not because I don't know better, or I'm not grown up yet, or I'm ignoring reality. But it's because I did see it. As horrible as it was sometimes, I saw it completely for what it was, and I still found it in me to love it more and more every day. I might be ashamed of how it made me act sometimes, and be more careful with expressing it now. But it doesn't change how I feel and how grateful I am for it."
"Greendale helped me become a full human being, and not just when it made us wear Human Being masks. For that, I don't care what anyone else says about it. No matter what others believe about Greendale, or what it itself might believe, I love it. I love it completely and openly with all my heart….and no matter how the rest of my life goes, I will never forget how it made me a better person for knowing it. Everything and everyone I love, and everything and everyone I will love someday….I owe it all to Greendale."
"And deep down I hope you all know you do too. And if we take that knowledge and love with us after today, we will never be unloved, or childish, or the worst parts of ourselves ever again. Not without Greendale and everything it really stands for to save us, just as we will always do the same for it. And that, not paintball or pop culture or low attendance numbers, is what these last four years and the rest of our lives should mean to all of us. At least it will to me."
"That's why I'm leaving here happier than I've ever been, even if it's my last day as a student! But it's not my last day as a loved, happy, whole, adult human being by a long shot. That's because of Greendale, and that's why I'm so proud to be here now, and to share that with all of you. So let's go out and share that with the world now, and know that no matter what we become….we are first and foremost the Greendale Class of 2013. E pluribus anus and all!"
Annie figured saying that disgusting motto at the end counted as character growth. It did test her when the students chanted "E pluribus anus" afterwards, however. But they did stop when Annie threw her hat up and the others did the same as well – and their cheers did drown out Dean Pelton's blubbering for a precious few seconds.
Yet Annie kept from blubbering, as she was too busy hoping it came across the way she wanted. She made it so it could work as a declaration of love to Jeff and a love letter to Greendale at the same time. She wasn't so blatant that people other than Jeff, her closest friends….and Alison….would see it as a coded love confession to Jeff.
This way, he wouldn't be singled out or embarrassed any more than he would naturally be. But she did know how to declare her love in public without humiliating the both of them now. That much she hoped he understood, at least.
She kept her focus on the audience and didn't glance at Jeff enough to give herself away. She really did feel all of these feelings about Greendale as well – and was obsessed with school and often loved it too much too – so it was the perfect way to kill two birds. So if Jeff hated it and thought she was childish for giving him such a public coded love message, at least Annie could make an intellectual defense.
First, after the crowd parted and she had enough room, she went off stage to face the rest of the group. At the least, they all seemed to love it – and Annie caught Britta wiping her eye when she thought she wasn't looking. If that was her reaction….
Once Shirley finished hugging Annie, Jeff finally entered her view. Annie studied him for any signs of discomfort, annoyance or even awe, but he just stayed blank.
Before Annie suspected the worst from that, Jeff breathlessly closed the gap and kissed her. Once it sunk in about three seconds later, Annie managed to join in. It took another 10 seconds to remember that they had an audience for this, however.
"Yeah, so….we've been doing that since Valentine's Day," Jeff confessed ahead of schedule when they broke apart. "And it's too late to say me loving Annie would ruin the group dynamic, at least in Greendale. So….."
Although Jeff didn't have his best way with words there, at least one word was perfect enough. Then again, the action spoke louder than that word anyway.
It certainly made the group quiet, as half seemed unsurprised – with Britta joining Abed and Troy in the unsurprised category. Pierce actually seemed to be holding back whatever stupid jokes he had, and Shirley had a cross between her judgmental face and her happy, gooey face on. "Well….at least we got something to gossip about at the steakhouse," Shirley finally let out.
This was all that anyone said about it, as Jeff and Annie linked arms and led the group towards Morty's Steakhouse. Although Jeff had reserved a private table for himself for this very day four years ago, he had traded it in to reserve a table for seven at the last minute.
And when they got there, they all instinctively made sure to sit in the exact same spot they did at the study table. Their old study table now.
None of them had changed their clothes, although they were still drenched in paint – but coming in here like that felt like a fitting final tribute to Greendale. At least that's how Jeff sold it when he Winger-speeched management into not enforcing their dress code.
About 30 seconds after sitting at her seat and seeing everyone else in theirs – and another minute after Jeff took her hand underneath the table – Annie announced that she had to go to the bathroom. Which she did – but it also served as a good cover to go into the nearest stall and cry.
Thesewere happy tears, though. The happiest tears she'd ever cried, considering all that happened today and all that happened since May 2012, and since September 2009. Even the horrible moments were worth happy crying over now.
Still, there was no sense carrying on in front of the group and anyone else nearby trying to eat in peace. Grownup Annie could contain her tears until she found a private place to cry, after all. Leaving aside how this might disturb everyone else just trying to use the bathroom.
Nevertheless, Annie washed her hands, checked that there was no more paint on her skin, and headed out to find her boyfriend and best friends again. Yet just as she came out, she noticed someone else at the other end of the steakhouse.
Sitting by herself, near a window, was Alison Jacobs. She actually changed into clean clothes, but it was still clearly her.
Annie went up behind her, as she was looking at pictures she took of the ceremony on her cell phone. Soon she got to a few pictures of Jeff, Annie and the study group – and Annie could swear she heard Alison chuckle pleasantly.
"Alison?" Annie called out quietly to get her attention. And it worked as she turned around and widened her eyes a bit at seeing her – then let a little smile come out.
Exactly 12 months ago, Annie all but tore Alison's picture to shreds after hearing about her – and how she had Jeff – for the first time.
But Annie could now admit – if only to herself so far – that the warm, happy, complete smile she had for Alison today might never have been forged without her interference to kick it off.
Still, she would go down the next time she tried to slap Annie or punch Jeff's eye. Yet in that unlikely event, at least Annie's beloved boyfriend would be there to high five her afterwards.
THE END