(RED is wandering nude along Route 101, his PENIS back in its Pokeball *I swear, there is no intentional sexual connotation with that*)

RED
Man, I wish I had some clothes. I'm not a Pokemon; I can't just run around swinging my stuff around. (Stomach growls) Crud, I'm getting hungry, too. Maybe if I walk up to a strange pink-haired woman, she will be seduced by my beautifully developed package and give me a place to stay for the night. (Stares ahead at the long expanse of road and long grass) Or I totally could just sleep outside and get eaten by Rattata.

(A noise manifests itself in the long grass where RED is wandering. Jolting to attention in surprise, he jumps backward, fearfully agitated at the noise)

RED
YOW! What was that? A ghost? My mom? The rash between my legs coming to life? I hate long grass! I'm so allergic! (Shakes fist) I'm gonna kill that Boobies…

(The tall grass rustles and out steps a MANKEY, foraging on the ground for nuts and berries. When he turns his head and spots RED, he acts startled)

RED
Cheese and Christ! It's a Mankey! (Whispers aside maniacally) If I could catch him, I can smack Boobies around!

MANKEY
(Pointing disparagingly at RED's nudity) Key?

RED
Shut up! I'm becoming one with nature. (Throws PENIS's Pokeball) Go, Penis!

(PENIS emerges in a splash of white light)

PENIS
Metapod.

RED
Penis! Use Tackle!

(PENIS grunts and rolls over on its side, jerking there stagnantly in an attempt to move for a few moments before giving up)

PENIS
Poddddddddd.

PENIS's attack failed!

RED
Come on, Penis! You can try harder! You've got to make this Mankey come!

MANKEY
(Rolls eyes) Mankeyyyyy.

RED
Okay, Penis, let's try a different tactic. Use String Shot!

(PENIS shoots a long, gooey string of white substance out of the top of its shell, covering Mankey so completely that it topples over in a storm of beige cream)

PENIS
(Sighing contentedly) Meeeeeeetaaaaaaa.

RED
Nice shot, Penis! I'm proud of you! We have her now! (Removes a Pokeball from his bag and chucks it at the immobile MANKEY) Pokeball, go!

(The white pile of wet MANKEY disappears in a bath of red light, entrapped in the Pokeball. The ball falls to the ground dramatically and rolls a few times before freezing in its place)

Congratulations! MANKEY was caught!

RED
(Heads over to the Pokeball and picks it up triumphantly) Yeah! I caught my first Pokemon! But not alone, of course! Why, if my Penis had never been there, Mankey wouldn't have been so easy to come on to!

PENIS
Meta-Metapod.

(RED returns PENIS to its Pokeball and heads down the road to Viridian City, still in his birthday suit. Two young TRAINERS have just entered from Pallet Town, standing in awe at the stark butt disappearing into the sinking sun in the distance. One TRAINER turns to the other, his mouth partially open and a small hint of drool escaping from his lips)

TRAINER 1
… Did you just see that?

TRAINER 2
Yes. All of it.

TRAINER 1
Is he naked?

TRAINER 2
Yes, he's naked.

TRAINER 1
What's wrong with him?

TRAINER 2
I don't know.

TRAINER 1
… He's awesome.

TRAINER 2
Word.