Maybe Baby

AN: So here is the anticipated chapter. I was going to have the talk about Maria take place after the trip but changed my mind and decided since I didn't give you all drunken Jasper like I said I'm going to do that here.

Chapter 11

POV: Alice

We are leaving tomorrow morning and I have to admit Jasper's family is all kinds of wonderful. Everyone seems so at ease with one another and seemed to accept me pretty quickly as Ashley and Jasper had promised they would. I'd managed to steer clear of alcohol and caffeine all weekend, well not all weekend I did manage to drink a coke every day but stuck with caffeine free the rest of the time so as not to rouse suspicion.

Right now we were all sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows and drinking. Jasper had been drinking most of the day since we had gone tubing on the river and I know I've seen him almost drunk before, how we met but this was there. Jasper was clingy and he and his brothers were loud. I was saved by the fact that Raleigh and Brooke chose not to drink and I managed to nark off by saying how bad the marshmallows would taste with beer.

"Let's go for a walk" Jasper whispered in my ear before kissing my temple. I nodded and stood up from his lap, where he had placed me 2 hours ago so I could hide his erection and he could not so subtly feel up my bare thighs, and I don't think his siblings missed that fact either though they didn't really comment and Rick and Ryland were equally as gone as their brother. Tristan and Ashley were too busy in a heated game of cards to really notice and Court was enthralled by his PSP. I did however get a few pointed looks and smirks from Brooke and Raleigh, apparently those two were partners in crime while Darcy and Rick disappeared 15 minutes ago to their tent and no one had seen or heard from them since.

"Sure a walk" Ryland said with a smirk as Brooke nuzzled his neck.

"More than a walk" Tristan grinned and I shook my head amused.

"Well at least I have the decency not to mack on my girl in front of y'all" Jasper said and I giggled because he sounded so funny slurring his words slightly.

"Oh really" I smirked and everyone shouted "busted" causing Jasper to blush and then lead me away.

"The safe word is exit only!" Tristan shouted after us and I felt my jaw drop while Jasper simply flicked his brother off. Everyone around the campfire was laughing as we walked away down the river bank towards a vacant campsite we'd seen earlier that day while on the river.

"We need to talk" Jasper said and I looked up at him the best I could with him right behind me, arms around me. "I hate that phrase" he then said and I shook my head. I shouldn't be worried he had just been pawing me all night with his family right there, hell I'm surprised his parent's didn't tell him to stop.

"Me too but I know we do" I said and he stopped.

"You first" I shook my head and stepped out of his arms so I could sit on one of the larger boulders by the river.

"Tell me about Maria" I said and I saw Jasper frown before moving to sit beside me. "I know I'm missing some important pieces about your life when your sisters have all told me I need to ask you" I added and I heard him exhale a shaky breath.

"Actually that's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about" he said surprising me.

"One of the things?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him. He nodded his head.

"So Maria first?" he asked and I nodded. "Alright well you've obviously seen my scars; I am just going to tell you that Maria is the cause for them all"

I gasped mentally thinking about every scar marring my beautiful Jasper's body. "The bullet wounds?" I asked and he nodded.

"Ok well you know the basics, Maria and I dated for about 5 years from 17 till I graduated college at 22. I told you she wasn't exactly a very trusting girlfriend" I nodded and he paused as if trying to organize his thoughts. It really wasn't fair of me to ask with him drunk as he was but our relationship had just gotten put on the fast track and we'd need to know everything about one another if we wanted things to work out. "Well I spent our last 2 years of our relationship wanting to end it but never really able to follow through, I guess I just didn't know how to be single anymore but we grew apart or I did but she practically moved herself in with me that last year of school and didn't want me going out with the guys or in study groups if there were other girls in it" I hated people like that, controlling or jealous whichever title you want it to be.

"Anyways she even got to the point she hated Charlotte and they used to be pretty good friends, hell Peter had been the one to set Maria and I up but I'm getting off topic so I guess I'll get to the important things" he stopped and removed his shirt. I'd seen his body countless times and I knew where each scar was which was helpful since the moon didn't offer much by the way of observatory lighting.

"All these little scars were what came first, an honest accident, my stupidity mixed with her stupidity and well Rick's" he said and I made a face before going back to neutral. I would be kicking Rick's ass. "I was a little bit of a partier then, I did stupid stuff, the dumbest thing being X" I felt something inside of me catch, I would have never pegged Jasper for the druggie type, sure pot because honestly few people I knew hadn't smoked pot or been potheads at one point but X? "Yeah, when these happened I was high, Maria was high, Rick was high, Peter was high and well Charlotte was just drunk. We were camping out in the desert and had decided to go hopping some sand dunes with all of us in the bed of the truck. Maria was driving and Charlotte was the passenger, a dumb idea since none of us should have been in the bed of a truck much less driving. We had chains and ropes scattered all over the bed of the truck so when Maria took one turn too hard Peter and Rick had a better grip than me, I was on the tailgate so I bounced right out with the chains catching on my ankle and tightening so I couldn't get my boot off" I covered my mouth a gasp coming out. Jasper looked past me, almost lost as he spoke. "Maria didn't notice, she was too high to realize but Peter started banging on the back window of the cab while Rick tried to release the chains from the truck so I wouldn't be drug anymore, Charlotte realized something was wrong and when she got Maria to stop Rick lost his footing and fell on some cactus, which would have normally been funny but being shirtless my back was covered in scrapes, my left leg was knocked out of its socket from being drug behind the truck and my right ankle was almost shattered" he said and I felt tears in my eyes. My poor Jasper.

"Oh god" I said and his eyes met mine, he stepped forward and kissed my cheeks where the tears were falling.

"That was my fault too" he said and I gripped his hand, it all sounded so painful. "I spent 3 months in a wheelchair because I had to go through some major surgery for my left knee and right ankle, this is why I stopped playing baseball" he added and I remembered him saying he only played for his college for a year before a knee and ankle injury took him out of the game permanently. "So I'd love to say we cleaned up our act but I'd be lying, I cut back, Rick stopped completely because he came really close to snapping his neck when he got tossed off and Peter cut back like me, Charlotte freaked out and didn't drink a drop of alcohol for a year unless we were safely indoors where no one would need to drive and the moment someone took X she stopped drinking completely afraid we'd all do something stupid again" he sighed and I nodded, his hands were still cradling my face. "Now baby this is the hard part" he said and I took a deep breath, he was shot, not once but twice and I was crying about something I'm sure was not as bad as the story behind his wounds. "I need you to calm down and realize this was 7 years ago" I nodded my head and wiped my eyes.

"Ok" I said hiccupping as he wrapped his arms around me and I wrapped mine tightly around him.

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you right now, I shouldn't be upsetting you" he said and I shook my head, I needed to know; now I had to know.

"Tell me" I said and he waited a few moments for me to calm down and stop crying, he pulled me onto his lap on the ground and cradled me until I was no longer crying.

"Maria started doing more drugs, she didn't do them around me, I really had no idea, I mean I knew she still did X at parties but the other stuff I was pretty clueless about because around me she'd only smoke pot. I got my job at SWA as an intern my senior last semester of college and moved into a bigger apartment so I could have my workspace and Maria didn't really move with me, now I know it's because of her dealer but ya see Maria thought I was cheating on her with her sister Nettie, they hadn't got along in years, Nettie was my age and Maria was only 20, Charlotte's age" he added and I did the math, Jasper had said he and Maria were sexually active from day 1 of their relationship which meant he could have gone to jail for being with her, at least now I understood why it upset him when people would make comments about me looking like jailbait, he'd been with jailbait. "When our relationship started to fall apart Maria thought I wanted to see other people and I did so we did" he said and I froze, "As a couple we did" I had images flying through my mind a mile a minute, this was a lot of information to process and Jasper being drunk was all over the place though much more coherent then most people I've been around drunk.

"Explain" I said in a shaky voice, afraid of what he'd say.

"Like swinging, only she was trying to keep me with her so it was always a girl she'd think I was interested in and us" he said and I blanched. This wasn't the Jasper I know, drugs, threesomes, swinging. "These parties were wild and god…" he stopped and I started crying, this had to be bad because he was sounding choked up. "Orgies" he said and I let out a sob. Oh my god. "I never did anything with the guys but I was on X every time, Ali please look at me" he said and I couldn't meet his eyes, images of Jasper with hordes of naked woman and men, writhing around like some bad porno and some faceless Latina I'd seen as Maria being the ring leader. "Baby please" he was crying so I looked at him and he brought our foreheads together. I'd never seen him cry and I know he was ashamed but it still hurt, I thought I knew him.

"Go on" I said, my voice hollow. Jasper frowned and I tried to push past his old life to comfort him because I wanted to know all this and I know this isn't how he is now.

"When I knew I'd be drug tested I stopped it all and I dunno if she did or not but I didn't care, I thought if I stopped she'd be less upset with me for ending us. Just after graduation I got offered a full time position at SWA and took it, moving again so I was closer to work, I confessed to my father I'd been doing drugs and told Rick and Darcy about the sex, they were my confidants, they wanted me far away from Maria and I was just too weak to do so. Then Nettie started calling, looking for Maria, I had my suspicions confirmed, she'd continued with the orgies and sex, Nettie needed someone to talk to so I became that person, I told her about everything and soon she stopped trying to talk to Maria, pissed off at her sister for the life she was leading and had taken me down. Nettie showed up one night pregnant, like 6 months pregnant and crying her eyes out because he had left her, treated her like some common whore and needed her sister to be by her side when she told their parents" he stopped and I continued to sob, trying to hear every word but still unable to get the images of Jasper that way out of my head.

"You got tested" I blurted out.

"Of course, yes baby monthly for 3 years, I'm fine, I'm clean" he said trying to calm me down. I tried to let that fact calm me but in reality I was still scared. "Do you want me to go on?" he asked and I nodded my head though I really just wanted to shout stop and it never happened let's just move on but this was the man I loved and we were going to have a baby. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes" my voice cracked and he kissed my temple.

"That night Maria came over wasted, high off of cocaine and drunk. I'd broken up with her that morning and had told Nettie so but Nettie insisted she needed me" his voice cracked. "Maria showed up with her dealer I came to learn later, she looked like death and before Nettie or I could speak her dealer shot me, this one" he said moving my hand to the scar on his hip. "Maria started screaming and calling Nettie a whore who was by now crying hysterically trying to stop the bleeding, Maria thought Nettie's baby was mine and that Nettie had never really left, that we were sneaking around behind her back, Maria took the gun and shot at Nettie" he said and I tensed. "I blocked the shot but…" he brought my hand to the other wound, "it went clean through me" he slipped my hand around to the other side where I could feel another patch of scar tissue beneath his blue star tattoo, I'd never realized this was another bullet wound, I just thought it was scar tissue. "Lodged into Nettie's spine, right through her stomach" he said touching my flat tummy, I felt my sobs start to go out of control. Nettie had lost her baby, Maria had killed her baby and Jasper tried to protect her. I felt my head being pushed between my knees and Jasper's sobbing voice begging me to calm down.

AN: So what do you guys think of Maria? I know this was very likely confusing to you all but remember Jasper is drunk and trying to be clear but he jumps around a lot. Have you ever tried to tell a story to someone where unless you explain it in great detail they won't understand but your thoughts get so jumbled when you remember something new constantly? Yeah that's Jasper right now, he really should have just left it at Maria's drug dealer shot me here and Maria shot me here but the bullet went clean through and into Nettie's spine killing her unborn child.

READ READ READ its cliff's notes of what happened

------------------------Either way here is a more lucid explanation in cliffs notes.----------------------------

Jasper was 17 when Maria was 15 so by the time she was 18 they were already doing drugs and swinging. Basically Jasper is not such a sweet little old southern boy and this is why the random animalistic sex scene was really done. Jasper was a screw up, especially after he couldn't play baseball anymore, before that he really only did drugs between seasons, which also means he found a way around the drug tests.

He told Alice about the threesomes and orgies because he doesn't want to keep anything from her and in a way he is trying to scare her off. He doesn't want her gone but he's so ashamed of his past that he doesn't think he deserves her.

Jasper was NOT the father of Nettie's baby but Maria was more than a little off her rocker. The reason Jasper is so much better adjusted is because he's grown up more and like he says everything started with Maria. He stayed with her out of a sense of messed up obligation.

Jasper's family knows about the drugs. Rick and Darcy know about the threesomes and orgies, Jasper doesn't want to cause his family any more pain than he already has.

Now as for Alice being pregnant and Jasper seeming a little detached about the matter. Jasper is scared. Even though what happened with Nettie was not really his fault, he feels it was and that he doesn't deserve to be a father. Messed up I know but Jasper has major skeletons.

I hope that cleared things up for you all. I was going to continue this chapter but this was a lot of information and I decided to give cliffs notes instead of posting another chapter where the same facts are revisited.

Jasper's tattoos. The blue stars are hidden by his pants, boxers etc but they are essentially on either side of his pelvis between the lovely man V. Now the explanation for those stars didn't make it into the story but that's because he got them when he was drunk out of his mind, those came BEFORE MARIA. Basically they mean…. "SO when a girls giving me head she's seeing stars" yeah…. I know guys with these same tats and I found it hilarious and gross at the same time.