CHAPTER 5 THE CHAMBER PRISONER
When Harry got to the secretest secret, he eventually found a man in a jail cell. "I'm in jail!" said the man. "When Nicholas Flamel was in school he thought I did something bad! No one has ever come up here, so I've been here ever since!" "Nicholas Flamel is dead now." said Harry. "Do you think he has the key? I might be able to get it from him." "Yes, that would be great!" the prisoner said.
When Harry got back out of the secretest secret he thought he would recreate the sorceror's stone to bring Nicholas back to life. He told Hermoine he need to know how to make a sorceror's stone. They searched in the library.
5 HOURS LATER
Harry groaned. "I'll never be able to bring Nicholas Flamel back to life!" "Oh wait," Hermoine said "That is what you wanted the stone for? Why don't you just use that potion we made in potions class?" "D'OH!" said Harry.
Harry gave the potion to Nicholas Flamel and he came back to life. "I'm alive!" said Nicholas. "Yeah." said Harry. "Now can you give me a key to a jail cell?" "What a coincedence! I have one!" Nicholas handed the key to Harry. "But what do you need it for?" asked Nicholas. "To free a prisoner." said Harry. "But you can't!" said Nicholas. "Avada Kedavra!" said Harry. Nicholas died.
When Harry made it back to the prisoner he put in the key. He turned it. The key broke. "Er... uh..." Harry said. "wait... alohomora!" the cell opened. "why couldn't you have done that?" asked Harry. "Well..." said the prisoner "I'm only half blood magic." "But my friend is half blood and her magic is great!" said Harry. "Yeah well,... I don't have my wand..." said the prisoner. "But then-" Harry started to say, but the prisoner cut him off. "JUST SHUDDAP!"
The prisoner then started hissing and a basilisk came. "Oh no!" said Harry. "I have to cover my eyes!" the stare of a basilisk would kill you. Harry covered his face and started walking away from where he thought the basilisk was... but he accidently crashed into a wall. "Ow!" said Harry. As he fell down, the rooster egg fell out of his pocket and began to hatch. "The crow of a rooster is fatal to a basilisk!" said Harry. COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOO! The call was so loud even Harry was surprised. The basilisk fell out of the window while writhing in pain. "NOOOOO!" said the prisoner. "MY BASILISK!" By now it was obvious that the prisoner was trying to kill Harry. The man took Harry's wand and locked Harry in the cell.
"Now..." the man said deviously. "...to swallow the key..." The man actually ate the key. COUGH COUGH COUGH! He coughed up the key and it slid under the cell Harry was locked in. "Ew..." said Harry when he picked it up. It was still covered withthe man's slobber. Nevertheless, he had to pick it up to unlock the cell.
When Harry got out the man was still coughing so Harry picked up his wand with no risk. "And what do you think you're doing, young man?" said the prisoner. "I think I'm... AVADA KEDAVRA!-ing." said Harry. The prisoner died. Harry noticed a cup was dropped from the prisoner's cloak. He picked up, then returned to Hogwarts.
"I killed a prisoner!" Harry said to Ron and Hermoine. Hedwig was still jealous. He ate Roosty and her eggs. Then she began to mutate.
Just at that moment Dumbledore gave an announcement to the school. "I think you will all be happy to know that I have added 27 trillion floors to Hogwarts due to complaints."
Now the mutated hedwig flew up to the top of the school which was then 27 trillion stories high. "We've got to stop Hedwig!"
All three ran up the stairs to the top floor. Then Hedwig shot a lazer beam and Ron's head caught on fire, and he lost balance and fell of the stairs toward the bottom. "We have to catch Ron!" They ran down the stairs.
27 trillion floors later
Hermoine held her arms out to catch Ron. Ron landed on her and they were both squished. Then Hedwig shot another lazer and vaporized Hogwarts. "Harry!" Dumbledore said. "Your owl destroyed Hogwarts! You're expelled!"
EPILOUGE
Crabbe and Goyle appeared. "Where's Harry? We have his sandwich!" "He went that way." said Dumbledore pointing North. "Okay." said Crabbe. "duuhhhhhhhhhhh..." said Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle went that way and fell off a cliff... and died. Then Voldemort came. "Where's Harry?" asked Voldemort. "That way." said Dumbledore, as he pointed South.
At Harry's home he took out the cup he took from the prisoner. A lazer came out and almost killed him. "Oooh pretty." said Harry. Then he threw it in the garbage can. Then Voldemort came in. "Ah Voldemort!" said Harry. "Avada Kedavra!" said Voldemort. Voldemort died. He died because the spell accidently bounced off Harry's scar on his forehead and hit Voldemort when he was off guard. "I killed Voldemort!" said Harry. "HUZZAH!"
THE END
READ WHAT THE CRITICS SAY ABOUT HARRY POTTER AND THE LONG NAME
"this is the best book ever!"- Universal studios
"another one of J.K. Rowling's great ideas!" - the new york times
"Ah! Spiders!" - A soccer mom
"roosters don't lay eggs." - Hermoine Granger
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE" - Harry Potter
"**** you." - an emo