Disclaimer: I own nothing of the characters or the show that I am writing about. *sniff* T_T

Rating: M

Pairings: Eventual Merlin/Arthur slash pairing. So go away if you are going to flame cause I assure you, it will be a waste of your time, unless you like being mocked for ignoring a blatant warning…in which case I will laugh at your foolishness.

Spoilers: Up to the end of Series 2, after that it is AU.

Summary: Arthur thinks on the kind of King he wants to one day be and we discover if Gwen has the right song for Arthur.

A/N: So we have finally reached someone who actually stands a chance of breaking Arthur's spell, huzzah! Right, so anyway, I have seen Series 4 and I know that the writers went a different direction with Lancelot and Gwen but I decided to keep the version where Gwen and Lancelot have a romantic entanglement that would have led to the downfall of Camelot was the best way to get Arthur onto Merlin's path. I also think Angel Coulby and Santiago Cabrera make a good couple-there kids would be adorable. Anyway, please don't review letting me know that this is not how it goes down on the show, I love the writers and I do love what they did with the fourth series but this just fit better in my story and let's be honest you knew it was gonna be AU after the end of Series 2, I mean I am trying to get the two main men together. So, enjoy!

Chapter 4: Gwen

The first night spent without sleep was by Arthur's own choice. He couldn't be caught coming to Gwen's in the middle of the night (his knights were on high alert now) and he doubted he would be able to find her running around the kingdom as it was, so he had retired to his room to think for the night.

The castle was not aware of the Prince's new found curse and as long as he stayed in his room no one would be the wiser to the fact that the Prince was staring into his fire, when he was supposed to be sleeping in his comfy bed.

He had tried of course (not that he didn't doubt the woman after the show she had put on in the woods) but the curse had proven true to what was stated before: he couldn't sleep. It was viscous too. When Arthur had begun to get drowsy and was about to fall asleep it was as if someone jabbed him inside his head, brutally so.

Arthur had quickly decided that he would spend his night contemplating what he had learned so far through his newfound curse instead of hazarding more pain or running into someone on his wanderings through the castle.

Arthur had taken his dinner in his room. He was sure no one would question his motives for missing dinner, perhaps assuming that Uther had dragged Arthur back and was allowing him some leisure time to himself, while Uther assumed he was tracking down the mystery woman who could resolve his curse.

Leisure though, was anything but what Arthur intended to do with his time spent in seclusion. The truth was his father's song had left him feeling hollow inside, a kind of resignation that he had come to recognize as his disappointment in his father.

It had become more and more frequent lately but this was truly what stung the most. His father had sworn to him on his life, for God's sake! Arthur had wanted to know and boy did he see into the heart of Uther, King of Camelot.

It reminded him of something that Gaius had once told him when he was small and wanted to know the formula for a poison the man was making for the rats in the castle.

"Knowledge is power, my boy. I have the knowledge of this poison because the man who taught me made sure I was ready and understood what this would do to others. To have this knowledge, I saw what it could do if used incorrectly. To learn something, Arthur, may be one of the easiest things to accomplish, but to know what to do with that knowledge and use it correctly: that is the difficult part."

Arthur had barely understood at the time, the man's answer sounding suspiciously like a lecture, but Gaius had looked resolute on not letting Arthur help or learn so he had left the man alone and run off to meet his teacher early for his riding lesson.

If he couldn't learn how to poison rats what good was hanging around the man's smelly room?

Now, back in his room faced with acknowledging just how much his father had wronged people in the name of his own mistake and pain, Arthur thought he understood what Gaius had meant when he had said that to him.

It hadn't been just the fact that his father was killing magic folk for his own mistake that Arthur had to come to terms with. He had seen just how much in love he was with his mother, how excited he had been to be a father finally, and most importantly how greatly he wanted to improve Camelot during his reign.

His father's ambition toward Camelot being the same as his own didn't come as so much a shock to Arthur as a realization. He'd always wanted to be like his father growing up, naturally, so finding out that their ambitions were the same was not so surprising. But it brought home the point for Arthur that he could easily loose himself like that.

He was forced to look at himself and truly reflect on how his father had become the King that everyone feared. As much as the truth truly disappointed Arthur, he understood how the King had become so warped in his thinking. He'd lost not just the woman he had loved madly (Arthur remembered how that love felt through his father's song) but also the dream of being a family with both Arthur and the Queen.

If Uther had been an ordinary man with an ordinary upbringing maybe his grieving process would have been different, certainly not as many people would have needed to die. But Uther was the King and as such he wasn't even allowed to grieve more than was politically operable with his enemies watching his every mood and action.

He'd channeled his grief and madness in the only way feasible for the good of his country. How often had Arthur heard Uther say those words for his actions and wanted to roll his eyes at his father's predictability?

Arthur was no fool to think that ruling a country was easy work, but this new understanding of his father made him realize something he had never really admitted: perhaps he couldn't handle being King. His father had been naive in his hopes to change the kingdom, one man alone couldn't dream of doing so much. All the politics, the entire planning and thinking one had to go through; one man would never be enough to take on so much responsibility.

Arthur was disappointed in his father, but even more so he was determined not to be him. His father was the model "Lone Wolf", taking on entire projects and only letting those help him as long as he was in command. (Even the plans for the windows that were going in the tower that was being rebuilt had to be overseen by him!)

There was another revelation that had occurred to him at some point in the night: magical beings and persons were the key to changing Camelot into some place different, some place better.

Arthur wanted the same things as his father once had, uniting the kingdoms into one peaceful domain, but he knew that wasn't really possible until his own kingdom was at peace with all its citizens. Most of Camelot's problems stemmed from magical beings and Arthur wasn't foolish enough to believe that all that animosity simply came from being powerful magically. Arthur just didn't know how to go about making peace just yet though.

At the point Arthur had come to this realization it was nearing dawn, the fire had all but died and the pink and orange of the rising light was slowly seeping into his room.

Arthur made his way to the window and peered out at his kingdom. He hadn't done so in almost three months now, the sight usually saddening him and reminding of all that had been lost to the Great Dragon. (That too needed to be looked at further by Arthur, because though the dragon was responsible for the deaths of many, he had also been kept as a prisoner simply for being magic, something that was his entire being.)

The pinks and orange seemed to give the kingdom a hopeful aura to Arthur as if it was ready for a renewal; ready for Arthur to make it something new, something more. The bright future he envisioned for Camelot seemed possible in this moment; mammoth, unimaginable without help perhaps, but definitely possible.

His ruminations had brought him to this point but Arthur still felt like the thought wasn't completely finished, something was missing in himself that would cause the same problems for Camelot that had occurred under his father's rule.

His ruminations weren't for naught though because he did come to one conclusion about his father that he was sure of. His father was guilty of wiping out innocent people for his own guilt, yes, but Arthur didn't want him to know that he was aware of what he had done.

His father had fallen very far as a King in Arthur's eyes, but as his son he felt he loved him even more than before he knew all of who his father was.

What had once seemed cold and callus to him was now seen for what it was: armor against those who might use his weakness to harm him and his family. Uther loved Arthur and was proud of him, he felt that now. He had always been unsure of how his father thought of him, but now without doubt Arthur knew and it relieved and renewed him.

He would stop thinking by what his father wanted and concentrate on what his kingdom needed.

First and foremost would be to allow their future king sleep he supposed. Seeing as most of the maids arrived at about dawn, Arthur set off to search for Guinnivere. Without Morgana to wait on, and that thought still brought pain to his chest, Guinnivere could be doing a variety of chores needed around the castle that the head woman had decided for her.

It would be easy to just go directly to the head maid and ask, but he really didn't want anyone piecing together why Arthur would be searching for Gwen. The poor girl had suffered enough at his father's hand, no need to add to his mounting resolve against her.

He resolved to wait in the courtyard where she was sure to pass at some point before it got too crowded with knights and workers and convince her to meet him in the nearby field later that day. He knew the woods would give them enough cover so that no one could see or overhear their conversation.

He, luckily, did not have to wait long to spy the girl coming out of the castle carrying a bucket for retrieving water. She was probably going to be helping in the kitchen that day or helping the other maids clean the corridors that had been cleared of the rubble caused by the destruction.

It was easy to grab her attention, no one really in sight as the other servants were busy on the inside of the castle and most of the knights still sleeping in their beds (and oh how Arthur envied them that pleasure).

After assuring her that he was alright, no need to cause her worry while she worked, Gwen stated the time she would be done for the day (Just about after nightfall when the girls would probably be finished with the Eastern staircase).

Telling her where to meet him was easy and only after the servant girl had left him with a promise to be there as soon as she could did he realize how much longer he would have to go without sleep, practically a whole other day.

He would have loved to ask her there and then to "sing" to him but he knew she was due to help the other girls with her water and there was no way he would be the cause of her getting in trouble or worse yet having someone come look for her and find the two of them together in a compromising situation.

Though it was difficult, Arthur went through the day doing his normal routine: training with the knights, who he still easily bested though he was tired; going over documents with his father, the man had seemed rather interested in hearing more of his opinions then usual and had even allowed for a few of his suggestions to be used; then headed around Camelot to make notations about what seemed to need fixing still, even though he had done the same a few days ago.

It was easy to pass the time until he was to meet Gwen, but Arthur did find it hard to keep his energy up. Without a good night's rest even the most mundane of tasks were hard to do unless he concentrated.

The Prince took it all as a test on his mettle as the future ruler of Camelot though, and strove to not let anyone know just how much the curse was affecting him. When the sun was setting, Arthur went to the stable and geared up his horse for the ride to the woods.

The stable boy was long gone and Merlin certainly wasn't around to help so the Prince found it easy to sneak the horse out without anyone noticing. Hoping he wouldn't keep Gwen waiting Arthur set off for the woods, rather hoping that soon the horse would be leading him back to a good night's rest.

After a few minutes of riding, he made it to the field he had designated for their meeting and spied Gwen near the middle looking at the scoured earth where the Dragon had obviously been.

It wasn't the place where Arthur defeated the Dragon, he still had no clue how he had accomplished that unconscious, but the Dragon had spent much time letting out his anger on the land surrounding Camelot, this field was no exception.

Making his way near to where Gwen was waiting, the girl met his eye, "It's so maddening."

Surprised by the exclamation, Arthur looked to the place that had held Gwen's attention. "What is maddening?"

Looking back at the damage on the ground, Gwen continued with her thought, "It's maddening how easily we and our surroundings can be destroyed, whether it is by a magical creature or someone with a plan to attack Camelot. No matter what measures we take it is always possible that something greater or stronger than our defenses can come along and destroy us."

Sighing at the truth in her words and thinking back on what he hoped he could bring Camelot one day Arthur answered her with what his father had once told him when going over war strategies. "It's true our defenses play a key part in protecting Camelot, but it isn't everything Gwen. It's our reactions to it, our coming together and thinking of a different way to attack and defending during our crisis, that makes the difference. Yes, the dragon caused untold amounts of damage, but we did defeat him in the end. That is what matters at the end of the day. Camelot still stands and is renewing itself in the best way that it can."

Glancing away from Arthur with tears in her eyes, Gwen cleared her throat, "You wanted to speak with me Sire? What can I help you with?"

Frowning at her, Arthur dismounted from his horse, helping Gwen do the same, "It's Arthur when we are alone Gwen. If nothing else I would hope you would consider us close enough to use our names."

Flushing under the Prince's intense stare, Gwen nodded her head, "Of course, Arthur, it's just a habit from working in the castle for so long. But enough about that, what is it you needed of me? I fear you will be missed if you stay out too long."

Recognizing the truth in her statement, his father was expecting him to have dinner with him this night, Arthur tried to explain his situation as quickly as possible skipping over the reason for the woman's anger and the method in which she had placed the spell and ending with his request for her to "sing" her lullaby for him. "You won't actually be singing, just humming, but in my head it is like your song is being delivered straight to me and if it is the right song then I will be able to go to sleep tonight."

Cocking her head to the side, Gwen asked the same question everyone had asked so far: "What did the woman say exactly when she put the spell on you? Do you remember?"

Sighing, because that question was getting rather old, the Prince recited from memory what the woman had said to him before disappearing: "This spell will leave you sleepless until the lullaby of the one who will be closest to your heart and soul, the one who will touch you the deepest, sings their lullaby to you. You need only ask others to sing and the lullaby of their heart will be sung to you, but only the lullaby of your destined other will lull you into peace. This is a gift and my lesson to you little Prince, may you learn well from it."

Gwen had turned her attention to the far woods during Arthur's recitation of what the woman had said and still refused to look at Arthur as she spoke, "And you think I am the one who can break this spell Arthur?"

Looking at her curiously, not expecting her to question why he had asked her to help him, Arthur answered honestly, "I thought I was clear on how I felt for you Guinnivere. Though I can't express that openly, I would hope you know that my feelings for you run much deeper than just friendship. I had thought you felt the same for me."

Whipping around to face him again and recognizing the hurt on his features, Gwen's face softened into a pleading look, "Don't think that I don't Arthur. I do have strong feelings for you as well! It is just the person that spell describes, the person who can touch you like that and be close to you like that, I just, I wonder if I am truly that person. If perhaps there isn't someone who fits that description better."

Arthur was truly confused now, Gwen spoke as if Arthur already knew this person when the only person he felt such strong feelings for was the woman standing in front of him.

Obviously though it seemed, at least to her, as if there was someone who stood a better chance at breaking this spell than she did. "What do you mean Gwen? It sounds like you already have someone in mind."

The girl opened and closed her mouth many times as if she didn't know where to begin to answer his question before she simply sighed, "I can't explain Arthur, perhaps after we see what happens when I sing for you. Maybe then I can better form my thoughts and explain my thinking."

Arthur stared at her until Gwen was fidgeting with nerves, but he finally said the phrase that would either bring sweet sleep or a new understanding of Gwen: "Would you sing for me Guinnivere?"

And the humming immediately started. Gwen's song started off light and happy: a mother, father and older brother who all lived happily together, then one by one the family and the song turned sadder and father apart as the mother then the brother left the happy family: one through death, the other by choice.

Her song took on strength as Gwen propelled herself to take care of her father and then keep strong after his death. Her song took on a happy light quality around three men: first Merlin, then Arthur and finally Lancelot, it was with each meeting replayed for him that he realized these were the men Gwen had fallen for romantically in her life. (There was a sort of anger that Arthur felt about Merlin being the first man Gwen liked, but he didn't know if it was because Gwen had liked Merlin first or if it was about Merlin being desired in general by Gwen. Whichever it was it didn't feel exactly right to Arthur, as if his feelings weren't directed correctly.)

The tone turned happier when he saw Gwen being crowned his queen, being married to him and helping him rule his kingdom but the music turned somber in the end when she decided to leave him and the kingdom behind for Lancelot, something about his reappearance in her life being too miraculous to keep her from denying her feelings and spurring her to run away with him.

Then the song ended with a racing crescendo as the former queen realized what she had done to the man she had loved and collapsed in despair.

Once more the song had only been a few moments but it was an earth shattering revelation for Arthur. His mother's 'This is not the song for you, my son.' was entirely not necessary at this point.

She would leave him for another man some day! And not just any man but his most trusted knight if the colors the man were sporting at the time were anything to go by!

Arthur felt sick and horrified to realize that Gwen would break his heart one day, but even more so to realize that the women he would one day trust to be by his side to rule his kingdom with wasn't the person he trusted the most.

How much more trust could he give someone? How much closer could he one day allow a person into his heart and soul?

TBC in Chapter 5: Merlin

Preview: "Before he even registered what he was doing, he had leaned in and had his manservant wrapped in an embrace which caused the other man to let out a comedic squeak. (He'd be teasing Merlin with that one for a while.)"