Disclaimer: I own nothing of the characters or the BBC. Sadly I don't even live in Britain T^T One day, one day.

Rating: M, eventually….

Pairings: Merlin/Arthur pairing; Don't like hot men together? Then why have you read this far?

A/N: Oh man this chapter took forever to write! Getting Merlin correct and then the circumstances getting him back to Camelot took forever to decide on, but I finally finished T.T Now just two more chapters to go and oh yes, the next one is a doosey. (I like to go out with a bang, if you know what I mean.) Also I am thinking about writing an epilogue but am not sure, can you guys tell me whether or not you want one or if I should just leave it as is? I already have an idea of what I will write so it will be easy to write it if enough people respond in the positive. Thanks, enjoy!

Chapter 5: Merlin

Dinner after Gwen's song was an awkward affair, but Arthur pushed himself to at least answer his father when he directly spoke to him. He knew his father realized something hadn't gone to plan with the woman Arthur envisioned breaking his spell but, for whatever reason, the man simply tried to engage his son on his opinions about what could be done in rebuilding the castle. Something that Arthur appreciated, but wasn't in the mood for.

Before the dessert could even be served, Arthur excused himself back to his chambers. He knew he had another sleepless night ahead of him, but the man felt he had enough thoughts to keep him company for the untold amount of time provided to think on this new discovery of Guinivere.

When he was safely ensconced in his room and sure that the guards were not close enough to hear, Arthur proceeded to brutalize his pillows, taking out all his frustrations on something that couldn't feel or fight back.

It wasn't even that he could get mad at Gwen. She hadn't even done anything yet, but the betrayal still felt real to Arthur.

He had thought this curse was something to be thankful for, a blessing to give him an insight to the people that he trusted most, but it was turning into one of the worst curses Arthur had ever suffered under.

His father, Gwen, even Gaius, all had changed in his opinion. Was it that Arthur was too trusting of those around him? Who else could he suspect of betrayal in the future? His knights? Morgana? Hell, maybe even his manservant Merlin!

That last thought left him feeling empty to think about. Merlin may not realize it himself, but he was Arthur's dearest friend. When Arthur needed advice or just someone to listen to his problems, Merlin was the first one he wanted to come to.

Whether Arthur was willing to tell him or not, Merlin was important to Arthur and he wanted to believe that Merlin wasn't the same as everyone else surrounding him. In fact, he imagined his new insomniac tendencies wouldn't be nearly as all consuming with Merlin by his side lightening the mood in his bumbling way. Though he would never tell the man that, out loud at least.

Arthur always had Merlin by his side, helping him even when he didn't want the stinking Git to do just that. If there was anyone in this world that had earned Arthur's trust it was Merlin. Besides actually saving his life twice now he was always willing to tell Arthur what for and give his opinion when prompted. Merlin was many things, but Arthur knew he was loyal to him. It seemed that he was the only one close to Arthur that he could see in a good light now.

He didn't know what to do now that Gwen hadn't had his chosen song. He did feel disappointed, even heartsick over the fact that Gwen would have one day betrayed him, but it was still not at all what he thought he should feel.

It wasn't as all consuming as he knew it should be. He was sad, crushed even, but he knew he would be fine without Gwen, knew that he could live without her. Shouldn't love leave him more than just disappointed and crushed that the woman he felt for would one day betray him?

Perhaps he would have fallen more in love with her, when there wasn't such a barrier of class between them or when he was willing to overcome that for her, maybe then it would have been a love that would have devastated him.

Now that he knew what would have one day happened though, he knew whatever feelings he had for Gwen were crushed by the fact that she would one day choose someone else over him. There was nothing more off putting to Arthur than knowing he would be second in the eyes of his significant other, even if it was later on in life.

Where did that leave him as far as the spell was concerned though? If Gwen wasn't the right person, then who was? Who was the person that was/would be closest to his heart?

~Merlin POV right after Arthur's spell was placed on him~

"I told you I will be fine, mother. I am just going as far as the woods for firewood. Don't be such a worry-wort!"

Smiling at his mother's indignant squawking, Merlin made his way to his favorite spot in his hometown. Even though Balinor had passed months ago and his mother and he had long since shed their tears for the man they once knew, Merlin still liked to go to his spot in the woods and talk as if his father could hear him.

'Not just father anymore,' Merlin considered sadly. 'It's also my spot to talk to Will now.'

Thinking of his friend always pained him. Some part of himself would always be missing now that his best friend was gone. Will had been the first person to accept him for who he was without being related, the person who had set him on the path of his destiny. He was an important part of who Merlin was and it was hard sometimes to remember that he was gone.

Making his way toward his log Merlin suddenly froze, feeling the air shift around him. There was definitely magic in the air, different from the usual atmosphere of the forest. Though Merlin no longer lived in this village this was still his spot, as important to him as his own room back in Camelot; no one could invade his space like this without his wanting them and he made sure the woman knew this when she appeared before him.

Taking aim he bound the woman as soon as she appeared. Though Merlin liked the spells he had learned in his time under Gauis, there was still something more powerful about simply using what was around him elementally, like before he came to Camelot. Especially here where he had first learned to use his power, to properly harness it; he felt it more fitting to simply be with his magic instead of incanting it.

With this feeling he easily bound the sorceress when she appeared in front of him, though it could also be that she simply did not have the energy to fight after making herself appear as she did, Merlin did not know. With his power ready at his finger tips Merlin leveled glowing eyes on the woman in front of him.

"Who are you? And why have you appeared in my woods?"

Slowly raising her head and giving the man a soft smile like that of a mother, the woman responded softly and without fear, "You have grown very cautious Emyrs. How you have grown in your few years fighting toward your destiny."

Not to be dissuaded by kindly words, Merlin had learned all too well that what people said or did was not often what they meant, the warlock tightened his hold on the woman causing her to wince.

"I asked who you were. Not what you thought of me."

Huffing, the woman replied gruffly at the continued pressure around her. "I come merely to warn you, Merlin, of what peril Arthur now faces until you return."

Frowning at the older woman's words, Merlin let some of the pressure of his spell loose, letting the woman still know she was held but not nearly enough to be painful. "Explain."

Smiling at the young man's attention the woman cleared her throat. "I am a seer first and foremost, Emyrs. I saw long ago you and Arthur's lives; the journey and history you both will make will be the thing of legends eons after magic and the time of kings have passed. But there are so many possible futures Merlin. The future is never set in stone and in one future magic and those of our kind do not simply die out and become that of stories. We live on, imbedding ourselves with normal humans and thriving once more as a people. Not dominated or hunted, but respected as equals. That world, Merlin, that world is one I would sacrifice my life to help come to pass. The possibilities for our generations following us, they are worth fighting for. I know you feel the same way. It is why you stay by Pendragon's side, never truly taking the spotlight but keeping the future king safe and away from harm. Working to someday allow magic back into the open and use it to unite the kingdoms under Arthur's rule."

Merlin frowned at the woman, what she said of his desires were true. He wanted to help mend all the pain that had been so long part of their history, to create a new world with Arthur leading a new generation of people toward peace, but he had heard such pleads before and yet still men and women gave over to their need for revenge when the opportunity was allowed. There had just been too much pain and suffering for them to stay true to their once pure feelings.

Raising an eyebrow Merlin silently urged the woman to get to her point.

"It has finally come time for that catalyst which will change what was once the path you and Arthur would have taken Merlin. I know some day you will understand but for right now all I can tell you is this: you are needed back in Camelot; that without you there, Arthur is sure to be doomed and very cranky no doubt."

Merlin starred dumbfounded at the woman. This could very well be a trap, it had happened before. There was something about what she said though, wanting to help the magic beings of the future. If what she claimed was true then the future she saw Arthur and Merlin heading for now, would that lead to the extinction of all magical beings? If that were true, Merlin would be willing to do whatever it took as well. Hell, that was practically what Merlin was doing now staying in Camelot by the side of the man who would doom him to death for simply being himself.

But Merlin had been through too much now, seen what people were capable of. Trusting anyone else beside Gaius was just out of the question. Glaring down at the woman, Merlin decided to find out what exactly she meant when he said he needed to go back to Camelot.

"Why do I need to help Arthur? He was perfectly fine when I left a few weeks ago."

The woman suddenly smiled even though she was still trapped on the forest floor by Merlin's magic, to Merlin it looked just a bit guilty. "Well, now don't get mad, but I may have perhaps placed a spell on Prince Arthur a few moments ago. I swear though it is for the good of the kingdom and all our futures by doing it! Merlin, it was the best way for Arthur to understand, to truly know the people around him. "

Glaring at the woman, Merlin used his grip around her to lift her into a standing position. She stood just a little under his height when standing so Merlin lifted her the few inches it took to look her in the eye. "The only reason I have not taken care of you already is because you are obviously after more than just revenge on Uther if you have appeared before me to tell me of what you have done to Arthur, but trust me on this: if what you have done to Arthur does more harm than good I will be tracking you down. Arthur and Camelot are mine to protect, getting in the way of that would not be a good decision for your well being."

The woman shivered at the combination of Merlin's words and the menacing glow to his eyes. She knew how powerful he was and would become, but in this moment she saw the sacrifices that he was willing to make.

In the future he would be heralded as wise and powerful in the sense of aiding King Arthur behind battle lines, not for the battles he was already used to fighting. Though his form would lead you to think otherwise, Merlin was a warrior. She had no doubt that he would come hunting for her if she were to ruin Arthur or Camelot and he would most likely destroy her for having harmed his destiny.

"The spell is one that will open his eyes and force him to examine those around him. It will only harm him so far as going without sleep will. In the time it will take you to return to Camelot he will have discovered everything intended with this spell, the culmination coming to the forefront with your arrival. Arthur, and in turn the future, will be made better by this spell, but only if you arrive on time."

Merlin had lowered the woman back to the ground after the assurance that Arthur wouldn't be harmed but he still didn't trust her words for what she said. "Perhaps if you had done so before I had gone through so many trials I would take what you say at your word, but I am afraid others believed they were doing the right thing as well and tried to deceive me. The problem is everyone thinks that what they do is the right way, their thinking the right course of action, caring little for the people it affects. You could very well be saying this to me so that I will rush to the kingdom to take the blame for your spell and be beheaded. Why should I trust you?"

The woman's eyes filled with pity. She had seen all that the man had gone through, all his decisions and trials. None of them were easy or right for one so young to have been thrust into; no more than being hunted for something you could not help.

"I knew we would reach this point Emyrs. It is why I brought one of my scrying crystals with me. You and I are part of the few who can use these to see the future. Please look into it! You can still keep me bound, but look and see what I have and tell me it is not the right course of action."

As the woman spoke she willed the crystal in her pocket to float so that it was suspended between Merlin and her. Still keeping his gaze held on his captive Merlin seemed to be mulling over her suggestion before finally inclining his head slightly in a nod and then refocusing his gaze on the crystal before him.

The flashes were just as quick and daunting as the other time Merlin had used the crystal. He saw Arthur in the field where Merlin had tamed the dragon with Guinn. It seemed as if Gwen was humming? And Arthur looked as if he were in a trance before looking at Gwen horrified the next moment.

Next he saw himself rushing into Arthur's chamber unkempt and worried, shocking Arthur who had been holding his head in his hands.

The next scene was of the two of them engaging in something he never thought he and the crown prince could possibly engage in (and good God, was he on top? not even in his secret fantasies did he imagine the Prince would allow that to happen!)

This scene (unfortunately) faded into one that was obviously in a time far from this one: children in a courtyard of some kind practicing spells being guided by a woman (the group was surrounded by huge stone buildings much like the castle of Camelot but their clothes gave away the fact that they were more modern-girl's skirts should not be that short!) the next and last image was of a town of huge metal and glass buildings surrounding the area where spells were being cast while at the same time normal humans were walking around.

Coming out of the vision Merlin realized that he had collapsed onto his knees and that he had released the woman from his hold that he had on her. Though he realized he had released her, Merlin continued to stare at the ground processing what he had seen. The world he had seen had consisted of metal buildings as well as brick and the people had been wearing very little clothing (Dear God he had seen more of some of those women's legs then he had ever imagined he would see even if he managed to marry!)

A wind that had suddenly kicked up shook him out of his thoughts and he saw that the woman was the source of the gale. He was apathetic to the women now, she could not effect what the crystal had shown him and whatever else might have been lies in what she said to him, he did need to return to Camelot to at least sort out what was happening with Arthur.

Something did catch his attention even in his haze of apathy though: nestled in the arms of the woman was a sleeping child. As if realizing the warlock's attention was now on him, the baby's eyes opened and reached out his hand to Merlin.

"I know Emyrs as well as every magical being in this world what you will bring for us in time, but for this child I also want to bring you and Arthur happiness: one that will envelope our future and secure us in this world. Know these words I left with Arthur : 'This spell will leave you sleepless until the lullaby of the one who will be closest to your heart and soul, the one who will touch you the deepest, sings their lullaby to you. You need only ask others to sing and the lullaby of their heart will be sung to you, but only the lullaby of your destined other will lull you into peace. This is a gift and my lesson to you little Prince, may you learn well from it.' Have faith Merlin and help your Prince. Only then will your's as well as my child's happiness be assured. If you leave now, you will arrive just at the right moment to save your Prince from his despair."

With those parting words the child, who was still staring at Merlin and his mother he supposed, disappeared from Merlin's sight and left him to his thoughts alone in the wood.

Rising from his knees and looking around at the mess the woman had left of his spot, Merlin concluded to make his way back toward Camelot. His mother and he had mourned Balinor and though he doubted they would ever be able to truly get over the injustice of never getting to live their lives with the man; they had arrived at the best place they could get together emotionally.

Though it was cutting his first vacation in two years short, Merlin made his way back to his mother's house and proceeded to prepare to leave.

His thoughts were scattered as he prepared his few belongings, jumping from the strange encounter in the woods to what the woman had suggested should happen between him and Arthur.

He was still no further on what he should do besides return to Camelot when his mother returned home from the fields. She was surprised to find her son readying himself for a journey when just about an hour ago he was heading out from her home for firewood. Now it seemed he was leaving her once more.

"Mom I know I said I would be here for at least two more weeks but something has come up in Camelot. I have to get back to Arthur, it seems that Prat can't help but get into trouble when I am not there."

Hunith Grinned at Merlin's word choice, her son's witty tongue would be the death of him but she had always found his humor so lifting in their poor lives. "I understand Merlin, being the Prince's servant isn't easy no more than hiding your magic from everyone around you. Just promise you will be safe and not take any unnecessary risks this time? I do worry about you."

Making sure he had everything he needed, Merlin slung his, admittedly small, parcel over his shoulder and made his way to the horse he had traveled to Elador on outside.(Oh how the kids were going to miss him after he had left.) After securing his belongings onto the steed Merlin turned toward his mother and opened his arms for an embrace which she speedily took him up on.

"I promise to do my best mother, though you know most things I encounter can be taken care of well enough without you having to worry."

Holding her son out at arm's length, Hunith took the moment to marvel at just how much her son had grown while in Camelot. He was truly a man now, striving forth toward his goals and not letting anything stop him. "I know Merlin but even with your great sense of "luck" I still worry. Think of me before you do something risky that is all I ask, alright?"

Wincing at the idea of her finding out just what had been laid out before him (He's pretty sure whatever territory he and Arthur will be venturing toward upon his return had the possibility for his greatest downfall and shame. There was nothing worse in the eyes of others than a sexual relationship between men. This was especially true for the crowned Prince of Camelot.)

"I will, mum. Try to stay well till we see each other again?"

Laughing at his veiled reference to their past happenings, Hunith smiled and after one more tight squeeze to her only child urged him to mount his horse and make his way back to his Prince that was waiting on him. "Goodbye Merlin and remember I am very proud of the man you have become just as I know your father was."

Seeing her son tear up, Hunith was so thankful that Merlin had been able to meet Balinor before his death. Hunith had long since assumed he was dead and Merlin would never know what a great man his father truly was, but his recounting of Balinor had been of the same man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

The pain of knowing she would truly never see him again was maddening but she was grateful to him for giving her Merlin, for being there for their son in the end and loving him even after only knowing him for so short a time.

As her son disappeared from sight in the woods Hunith wondered on who Merlin was to become. Her letters with Gaius lead her to think the man knew Merlin's destiny lay far beyond the lines of being the next apothecary to the royal family, that his focus should be on his magic and Arthur more than anything else in his life. She knew her son was meant for great things and whatever the future held for him she resolved to support him just as she knew Balinor would have.

~Beginning of Third Night (Beginning of story), Arthur's POV~

There was nothing for it then. Arthur's foul mood over his discovery of Gwen (both future and present), his efforts to reconcile what to do next in finding the right person, as well as his overall crankiness at his lack of sleep had resulted in a day devoted to trying not to fall over and a general case of brattiness that rivaled his six year old self's legendary tantrum on not being allowed the new horse he had wanted.

Arthur was facing his third night of no sleep and he hadn't a clue who to turn to; well, that wasn't necessarily true. He had an idea, an absurd one that had probably everything to do with his lack of sleep and not with any actual thought process behind it, but it was something he had stumbled across at dawn and had been persisting him ever since.

The thought was absolutely ludicrous though, Arthur didn't even know he was capable of such a thought, but it wouldn't leave his mind no matter how hard he had tried to distract himself. Groaning and placing his aching head (thinking while lacking sleep apparently resulted in a terrible headache he had found out) into his hands Arthur wondered once more just what he was to do now.

His depressing thoughts were interrupted by his door suddenly bursting open and the sight of his manservant, clearly disheveled from running to the Prince's chambers, filling his vision for the first time in almost a week and a half.

Merlin quickly, but quietly, closed the door behind him and made his way toward Arthur. The prince had no idea how his manservant had managed to hear about what Arthur was going through, but he obviously did from the way he was examining Arthur and the worry that was etched all across his face.

Finally coming out of his stupor Arthur stood, or at least tried to. The fact was his lack of sleep at this point was verging on detrimental and his sudden standing had made Arthur dizzy enough to fall, at least he would have if Merlin hadn't covered enough distance to reach out and steady him.

Still feeling rather dizzy Arthur did something he seemed only capable of doing while hurt or ill, he let Merlin support him and rested his head on his shoulder. (though the bloody git was anything but comfortable, he seemed to be nothing but angles, even now something poked Arthur's cheek)

Merlin's soft "I got you sire.", was accompanied by his leading Arthur toward his comfy bed. Not wanting to plop Arthur down and rattle him, making his condition worse, Merlin maneuvered themselves so that the two were seated side by side, the Prince slightly leaning forward and Merlin angling his body toward the Prince, on guard should the Prince fall over once more.

Readying himself for what was probably his most embarrassing interaction yet, the Prince spoke quietly toward his lap. "I suppose you heard then."

He felt the man next to him shift, but Merlin stayed where he was on the bed near Arthur. "Yes Gaius told me. You bloody Prat, you couldn't go more than a week without getting into trouble while I was away?"

Angering at Merlin's insinuation, Arthur raised his head sharply to retort but was caught by the look on Merlin's face. He still saw that he was worried but there was also something else there: a nervousness that didn't seem right on his manservant.

In all their interactions Merlin never seemed to be under Arthur, always striving to keep steady with Arthur whether in wit or out in the woods on a hunt, Arthur never felt as if Merlin was personally beneath him, at least not now two years after meeting the gangly man.

"Merlin, what should I do?"

The other man's eyes turned sympathetic at his broken plea, but Arthur couldn't take solace in it. He wanted sleep, he just couldn't imagine continuing on like this, he'd reached his breaking point.

"Arthur, how long has it been?"

The query sent his mind back to when he had been in this room last with Merlin, telling the man that he didn't really need him and that there were more competent servants that could help Arthur while Merlin was gone easily enough.

Well that had certainly proven false hadn't it? When Arthur truly thought about the whole time Merlin had been gone, Arthur had certainly felt it: small things at first to this spell had shown him that he and Merlin had a bond, something more than just mere Prince and Manservant.

Suddenly straightening up Arthur really looked at Merlin, taking in his clothes to his face which looked as if he had got about as much sleep as Arthur had in the past few days.

Before he even registered what he was doing he had leaned in and had his manservant wrapped in an embrace which caused the other man to let out a comedic squeak. (He'd be teasing Merlin with that one for a while.)

Though he had surprised him, Merlin slowly gathered his arms around Arthur and proceeded to rub his back soothingly, probably thinking Arthur had gone mad and needed calming down, else he might murder him. 'If he doesn't think that now, he will very soon.', thought Arthur. 'I certainly think I have gone mad for even considering this.'

Still keeping his manservant in the hug he had initiated Arthur began to speak to his far wall, this would be much easier as long as he didn't look at Merlin. "I asked Gwen to sing her song to me, Merlin. I thought it would be over as soon as I asked her. After all, we both know how I feel about her. But do you know what happened Merlin?", Arthur didn't wait for Merlin to answer him just continued on, "Years from now, after I had married her and been ruling my kingdom, she was going to leave me for Lancelot. Just leave after all that time and love we would have shared. Even though she hasn't done it yet I still feel betrayed, like she was going to do it all along."

"Arthur, you know she.."

"No, I know what I saw Merlin! And even more than the painful realization that the woman I loved would have hurt me. I realize now I am no closer to my destined other than I was before. All of today I have done nothing but think Merlin, think on who it could be, think about who I would trust like that and do you know what Merlin? I really only have one person left in my life that I feel that way for, who even comes close to that level of trust from me. Merlin, I think…"

Arthur, for all his bravery and courage trailed off his sentence. He was so tired and he was willing to try any way possible to sleep but something still stopped him. He needed something before he could finish his statement.

Merlin straightened himself and slowly pulled back from the hug Arthur and he had been in the whole conversation. Arthur refused to meet his eyes though, even though he knew Merlin was probably waiting for him to finish his statement.

'I haven't had any bloody sleep for three days, it is perfectly logical for my brain to stop functioning .' His deprecating thoughts were interrupted when he felt fingers under his chin lifting his head until he met Merlin's eyes.

He and Merlin stared at each other for what felt like hours, Merlin's fingers still lingering under Arthur's chin. Seeming to find what he had been searching for Merlin cupped Arthur's face, if the Prince's reaction weren't so dulled by the lack of sleep he would have jerked back in surprise.

Nodding his head at Arthur, Merlin spoke quietly, "Ask me Arthur."

He stared at Merlin a few moments longer, before closing his eyes and leaning into his manservant's hand, quietly admitting: "I'm afraid Merlin."

Merlin began to rub Arthur's cheek (since when was this kind of touchy feely stuff ok with him he didn't know, but it felt good for his aching head)

"Everyone has lied to me or will lie to me Merlin. Everyone has put what they wanted before me even if it would hurt me. I don't want to lose the way I see you. I trust you Merlin and what if I can't after this, just like with everyone else?"

Merlin drew Arthur back into an embrace this time, allowing his head to rest on top of Arthur's head. "I know everyone hasn't shown you the best of themselves Arthur, and I can promise you there are some things I am terrified of you knowing about me. I am afraid too of what you will think of me. But I know that, at least in my case, everything I have done has been to help you Arthur. I don't deserve your trust but I work every day, sire, to be worthy of it and helping you to one day be the best king Camelot has ever seen. Because no matter what, Arthur, I trust in you. I didn't at first, but now? Now, I would give my life for you. No matter what you learn, that will always be true."

Heaving a sigh and surprising himself by needing to close his eyes to keep the moisture in them at bay, Arthur whispered his request reverently, like a prayer. "Merlin, will you sing your song for me?"

TBC in Chapter 6: Arthur and Merlin

Next Chapter Preview: "Great rulers, dear, do not let what other people think guide them. They do what they know is right and in my opinion you and that boy are very right together, no matter what anyone thinks."