Blood Lines and Fox Demons
Declaimer: Don't own Naruto.
A/N: R&R please.
"Talking out loud." 'Written things/Reading.' Thinking aloud/Talking to inner demon. Thinking silently/To self. "Demon talking/Demon talking to carrier in real world." Demon thinking.
Chapter 4
Though Naruto waited an hour after he finished his primary run, he still changed out of his orange outfit. He also swore to burn it as soon as he got a chance with his team when he got one.
And so finally it was time for the genin exam. Boy was he happy he could act.
"Ok class, the first part of the genin exam is to make a perfect copy of me. Understood?" Iruka asked.
The class all went, with Naruto at the end of the line. When he got there he did the hand seals and henged into Iruka. The class started laughing. When 'Iruka' turned around to look at them the real Iruka saw a sticky note that said 'kick my face' on the back of Naruto's head.
"You fail this test. I don't have that on me." Iruka said.
"Are you sure?" Naruto answered. Iruka said yes and leaned back and put his hands behind his head.
Only to feel something there. He pulled it off and in his hand he had a sticky note that said 'kick my face'. He crumpled it.
"Very funny Naruto."
"Thanks a lot Iruka! Want to see another gift?"
"What?"
"Sexy no jutsu!" With a puff of smoke there stood a woman that had all the right curves and sizes and had long flowing hair that rivaled the sun in its color and brightness. There was just barely enough smoke keeping her more confidential points covered.
'She' struck a pose that sent Iruka and Mizuki into the ceiling on spiraling geysers of blood from their noses.
When they both recovered they revived the students that had been affected by the jutsu and moved on to the kunai. All of the students passed, though some only by one kunai.
Finally it was the last part of the test. Bunshin.
"Next, Uzumaki Naruto." Iruka called.
Naruto went to stand in front of the two chuunin teachers.
"Bunshin no jutsu!" He yelled after forming the hand seals required. There were three puffs of smoke and one dead looking Naruto appeared to his right. To his left there was a chibi Naruto that was on its back like a turtle. And the last one was normal. Aside from the fact that it was as fat as a baby blue whale and looked constipated to a point of making some shudder and move away from the general direction of its rear. "Shit." At that moment the constipated fat clone, the dead clone, and the chibi clone all imploded with a massive farting sound.
"Well he did make bunshin that could distract an enemy. Maybe we should let him pass Iruka." Mizuki said.
"Sorry Naruto but you have to pass all of the tests to go on to genin." Naruto nods and walks out of the class room. A solemn look adorns his face.
I hate faking this weakness. I could have blown every last one of those punks and pansies out of the water right now. Oh well. When they underestimate me they will get theirs.
"Good job Kit." Kyuubi praised from with in his mind.
Said fox host walked out side and sat on a swing as all the other students were congratulating each other. He felt some one come up behind him.
"Hey, Naruto, I know you tried really hard on that test and I want to let you have a second chance." Mizuki said after he got Naruto's attention. He then proceeded to tell him about a scroll that he needed to steal and learn something from. "Tomorrow night I want to go get it, Ok?"
Naruto, always wanting new jutsus to use, agreed, though acting far dumber. At the same time he and Kyuubi already were making plans against the traitor.
Later that night Naruto snuck into the Hokage's house and found the scroll.
Got it Kyu, so now we move onto the rest of the plan right?
"Sneak into old man's house, check. Steal scroll a day early, check. Go to meeting place, move a mile to the north, read, copy, and practice things on scroll, and finally blame it on the ugly traitor tomorrow and no one is the wiser."
Naruto headed to the meeting place, then went north for a mile. There he found a cave.
Good I found a cave. That will make it easier to hide in.
He entered the cave and sat down looking over the scroll.
It was noon by the time he had finished reading and copying it and now he looked over the jutsus. He selected two that he would learn first. Kage bunshin no jutsu and kage ryuu no jutsu. The main reason he chose these ones is that Kyuubi told him that he didn't know those two. And so he started his learning, with Kyuubi helping were he really needed it, like the general correct amount of chakra to use to do it right. He didn't give him the answers, just the general area that the answer lay.
That night Naruto hid the scroll inside of another and snuck into the Hokage's house again, this time letting himself get caught by the old man himself. A sexy no jutsu later and the perverted geezer was down with a nose bleed.
He made it to the library and unshrunk the scroll and put it on his back. He quickly snuck out again and made his way to were he was supposed to meet Mizuki later.
He sat down and started practicing on one of the others on the scroll. He felt the presence of Iruka and quickly acted to be asleep. He looked up when a shadow appeared in front of him.
"Yo Iruka-sensei!" He was promptly punched in the head.
"What do you think you're doing stealing a scroll from the Hokage?"
"Well Mizuki told me that if I got it and learned something from it and then showed you it I could be a genin."
"What?" Iruka suddenly knocked Naruto out of the way as kunai stabbed into him.
"So you figured it out Iruka. Then you also know both you and the monster will die here." It was Mizuki standing in a tree with two huge shuriken on his back.
"Naruto RUN!" Iruka yelled. Naruto did so.
When he circled around them and found them stopped he saw Iruka leaning against a tree while Mizuki was about to throw his two shurikens.
"DIE IRUKA!" Just before Mizuki released his blades he was thrown back by Naruto.
"Don't you dare hurt Iruka, Mizuki. If you do, I have to kill you for it." Naruto growled out.
He put the scroll down and made the needed hand seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" over a thousand Naruto clones appeared, all of them glaring at Mizuki.
On the other side of the village an old man that was near deaf heard an ungodly scream. Unfortunately he also pissed himself in fright.
Iruka looked at the pulp that used to be Miruki. Now all you could really see was a pile of battered and abused flesh in clothes and a wig that looked like a dog attacked it.
"Well I guess you can pass Naruto." He was then glomped with a shout of joy that nearly rivaled the scream that Mizuki had made a minute ago.
An hour later Naruto walked into his apartment and yanked of his god awful jacket, throwing the orange clothing to the side, leaving his upper body bare. He quickly walked over to the bath room and purged his stomach of the fifty extra bowls of ramen that he had had to consume to keep up his disguise.
Thank the deities that you taught me how to control all of my body functions Kyu, other wise this would be out side on the road instead.
"Well we will eventually drop the guise; I just don't know when will be a good time." Kyuubi replied.
Naruto sighed.
The next week Naruto went to the academy to get his assigned to his team after teaching Konohamaru how to use sexy no jutsu.
"Hello everyone. Today you will be assigned to your genin teams and instructors. Team …" Naruto zoned out, talking with Kyuubi. "Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura (I don't know her last name.) will be on team seven. Ino(Last name?) …" Now that Naruto knew his team, he zoned out again.
"You can wake up now, your teacher is finally coming." Kyuubi said after three hours of waiting for the teacher.
The door slid open and a silver haired man stuck his head in. He felt an eraser falling towards his head so he stepped back and caught it.
I told that idiot that that eraser wouldn't work on a jounin. Sasuke thought. At the same time Kakashi noticed the string on eraser just in time to feel a ball of tape swing into the back of his neck and stick there, with the tall tell signs of time fuse explosive notes. He rushed forward, trying to get the sticky mass off when he stepped on a wire. He looked up in time to see twelve rotten eggs fall into his face. Six of them had pepper gas in them. He coughed, sneezed, and gagged as he stumbled around. He nearly stepped on a bunch of marbles but managed to step in the one clear spot. Supposedly.
More eggs came flying at him, accompanied by brand new pencils wrapped in fly paper. He blocked and dodged most of them but the ones that he blocked fell onto the marbles. The marbles exploded, releasing thick, smelly multi colored smoke. As the smoke rose, it activated the sprinklers on that half of the room, drenching it. After five minutes the water stopped and there stood a drenched and messy Kakashi with a pencil stuck between his eyes. He grabbed it and threw it up over his shoulder. As the pencil in question sailed up it hit the back of bucket that was balanced on two strings so that where the pencil hit would cause it to fall over, right onto Kakashi. The now filled bucket spilled over, dropping a ton of puke purple die all over him before landing on top of his head. A string attached to it was pulled as it fell and after the handle had gone under his chin the floor where he was standing snapped up, throwing him into the wall opposite the door. As he slid down he landed on another spring board, this one throwing him into the ceiling back over where he had just been standing before which followed with him landing on the floor. Slowly he got up.
Pulling the bucket off he turned to the only other three in the class. He was about to say something when Naruto made a hand seal behind his head, unseen by the others, and muttered 'Never pee in toxic waste' causing the mass on the back of Kakashi's head, which he had forgotten about, exploded, coating him in an ugly glowing urine colored goo. He paused for a moment before speaking.
"I don't like you." He said. They sweatdropped. "Meet me on the roof." He then disappeared.
How the hell did the dead last rig all of that? Some of those could have been deadly if they had been switched with something like kunai, poison gas, acid, and real explosive notes. Sasuke thought. But he quickly dismissed it, as it must have been from years of pranking the entire school since he got there.
They soon met on the roof and sat down.
"Ok introduce yourselves, I'm too lazy to learn mind reading. Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams. You, pinky, you're up."
"I'm Haruno Sakura, I like…, I like to…, my dreams are to…, and I hate Ino-pig." Each time she had paused she would look at Sasuke.
'Great, a fangirl.' Kakashi thought.
"Brooding one. You're up."
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke and I don't have any real likes. I have a lot of dislikes, no hobbies, and I want to kill a certain man."
"Ok, next, spikey."
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like training, jutsu, ramen(when it is that one flavor, talking and learning with Kyuubi, and making plans to leave this god forsaken place.). I dislike the three minutes ramen needs to cook(and a very long list that would take me at least an hour to read off half of it.). Hobbies include making jutsu and bashing perverts(and again another long list of things I do to pass the time which include trap designing, training, learning with Kyuubi, and just recently, making chakra weapons.). My dream is to become the Hokage(Well more like a Kage. Doesn't matter the village to me.)."
"What about you Sensei?" Sakura asked.
"My name is Hatake Kakashi(is Hatake his last name?), my likes and dislikes are non of your concern. Hobbies?... Dreams of the future would make you have a nose bleed or go insane." He finished with a little heart over his head and his visible eye forming an upside down U.
They sweatdropped. They only learned his name and that he was a perv.
"Tomorrow meet me on training grounds seven. Don't eat breakfast, you'll barf every once of it up." Kakashi said with an eye smile before he disappeared.
The next day Naruto wakes up and scarf's down his usual breakfast before heading out to meet his new team. He found them there still waiting, even though he was purposefully an hour late. Their teacher had yet to show up.
He sat down and slipped half way into his mindscape.
"Hey Kyuubi, do you know any scanning jutsu? Our teacher is late, and I want to know when he is about to get here so I can act correctly."
"Sure Kit, I know one that no one else will pick up on unless they are of a high demon class, or in the case of humans, Kage sage. Which last I checked no one has reached that level for the last three hundred years."
"Realy? What's it called?"
"Life scan. It picks up on their life force and if you have met them, you can identify them as an individual."
"Cool!"
They then spent the rest of the time perfecting the jutsu and then Naruto quickly set it up while putting his hands behind his head, to hide the seals that he made.
Heaven, Earth, Sea, Hell, Space, Angel, Demon, Beast, Human, Life, Vortex, Power; Life scan no jutsu. Naruto thought to himself, listing off the chakra seals that demons use.
He feels the slightest pulse in the air and ground as a sphere of chakra moves out, passing through everything with out detection. Naruto looks at his team mates. They show no reaction.
He then focuses on the field that he just set up. He can feel his two team mates, and a cat. It was quite effective, as it also told the caster the strength of who ever was in the field. But it also had a draw back, as you had to be in one place to use it.
After about two hours later that he felt the signature of his new sensei enter his scanning field. He waited for a few minutes and Kakashi walked into view.
"Yo, sorry I'm late but this little girl needed help finding her extra panties."
"PERVERT!" Sakura screeches while punching him. Naruto just ignores him while laughing at Kyuubi.
"My ears! My ears! I can't hear! Somebody help me! That bimbo fangirl has killed my ears! THAT BANSHI IS PURE EVIL! HOW CAN SHE SCREECH THAT HIGH?" Kyuubi screams in pain while holding his ears, which look to be bleeding, though it's just a genjutsu. "In other news, the one eyed pervert, a.k.a. Kakashi, has been brutally punched in the face by a girl with a humongous forehead, while being attacked by her screeching voice, as she calls him by his second birth name." Kyuubi says, seeming to look towards a different camera in a news reporter voice (if you have ever heard the Bill Engvall joke on news reporters, you'll get this one.), with no sign that his ears had been 'bleeding' just a millisecond ago.
Naruto has a hard time keeping his appearance up after watching that.
"Ok. Anyways it's time for your real test. You have to get these bells from me by noon. Fail to get a bell and you go back to the academy."
"But sensei, there are only two bells." Sakura says.
"Yes I know that so come at me wanting to kill if you want to pass. Begin."
With that Sakura and Sasuke disappear while Naruto remains sitting there, seemingly zoned out.
"Yo, Naruto, are you even awake?" Kakashi calls out.
He gets no reply. He walks over, planning on doing something like tie him up for sleeping(even though he would like to do that himself).
He reaches down to grab him when suddenly there is a puff of smoke and his hand is mere millimeters from touching the trigger spot on a venous man trap. He quickly yanks his hand back just before it snaps its jaws shut on where his arm used to me. He feels Naruto coming at him from behind and disappears, using thousand years of pain on him and sending him into a river. After a few minutes of waiting he starts getting worried. People need to breath air and the longest anyone has ever held their breath to Kakashi's knowledge is three minutes. Naruto has been under for ten. Suddenly twenty Narutos jump out of the river, all of them throwing shurikens and kunai.
He quickly dodges them all and pulls out one of his perverted books. The Narutos rush at him and one quickly grabs him from behind. Another gets ready to punch in him the face. Suddenly the one getting ready to punch finds himself punching a clone of himself.
Kakashi appears in a near by tree and turns to leave only to find Sasuke's foot meeting him in what would be an intimate meeting, if it were a cute girl's face instead, that is.
He is sent flying back but turns into a log. Because of his escape he fails to see Sasuke turn back into a Naruto. He soon finds Sakura looking for Sasuke, and thus plays a trick on her. He can't help but laugh a little at her fainted form. He then heads off to find Sasuke, who seems to be the only one to be a real challenge.
He finds him and they quickly engage each other, ending when Kakashi uses inner decapitation no jutsu on the Uchiha.
Suddenly a large rock is broken out of the ground behind him. As he turns to look at it he is hit in the back of the head and hears some one say 'Outer decapitation no jutsu' as they ram his head through the rock, much like how he pulled Sasuke under ground. Being stunned for a minute, having never heard of such a jutsu he quickly starts trying to pull his head out of the rock. When he does he turns and sees Naruto digging Sasuke out with a still unconscious Sakura laying nearby. They all hear a timer go off and Kakashi looks at his watch.
12:00.
"Well you all fail. You didn't get any of the bells." He says, as Sakura wakes up from the buzzer.
"Wrong Kakashi sensei." Naruto says. He pulls out three bells and tosses one to each of his team.
Kakashi looks down at the ones on his belt and see the two visible ones and the one under a genjutsu. All three of them turn into acorns on string.
How did he get that third acorn underneath my genjutsu? Heck when did he get the bells period?
"Naruto, when did you get the bells?"
"After I put your head in the rock." He lied. He had really gotten it when Kakashi was pulling his hand back from the plant. The chakra stringers were quite nice. He had used them again to slip the acorns back into place when he had pretended to be Sasuke and kicked his teacher.
"What was that jutsu anyways?" Sasuke asks.
"Well I saw Kakashi use that inner decapita-whatever and figured that I could make a variation of it. Instead of putting your body in the ground I just put your head in a rock." Naruto had memorized the attack and them made a change to it before attacking Kakashi thanks to his Uzumaki trait of photographic combat memory.
"Well then I guess you all pass. Oh and Sasuke, how did you know where I would appear after I got out of Naruto's mob?"
"Hmph." I didn't see Kakashi until we started fighting and he put me in the ground. So who could have done it? The dobe couldn't have, he's to dumb, even with those clones that Kakashi is talking about. Sasuke pondered for a moment, then decided that he would just let it be.
Kakashi just pulled out his book again and walked off. "Meet at the bridge near by at 7:00 tomorrow."
Naruto soon left as well. As soon as he was out of the area he dropped the jutsus on his upper body. He had in fact already burned the orange jacket and was using a henge and genjutsu combo to make his body look like it did in the academy, even though he was wearing his usual outfit.
Time for some training. He thought to himself setting off on his usual warm up jog, missing the presence of a pale lavender eyed girl with raven blue hair that followed him.
Oh wait, I almost forgot. He thought as he stopped.
Naruto made a hand seal with a mischievous smile under his mask. "Bye Bye Booky." Naruto said the activation phrase for the hidden explosive sticker that he had placed on Kakashi's supply bag that held his book during his clone mob(the back hug). The sticker was a circular sticker that had a diameter of 1/3 of an inch and had a precast genjutsu on it. He had worked hard to make that kind, including the extra punch they gave.
Back in Konoha in some random jounin club a one eyed man with silver hair was suddenly thrown out of his chair and across the room as his supply bag blew up. Following in his wake were ripped and burned scraps of paper that once was a perverted orange book.