A/N: I DO NOT own any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song Born This Way by Lady GaGa.

Born This Way

John looked up at the night sky, sitting on the rooftop of their luxurious townhouse. The home that belonged to him, his wife, and his three children.

And he really hoped it would stay that way.

The cold December air blew around him, and John felt his heart pang in his chest as he looked across the street to several homes decorated with Christmas lights.

Christmas was two days away. When they had discussed plans weeks ago before all this shit had gone down, both of them had planned to have company over. Now things were looking more and more grave.

Although he would never admit it aloud, there was nothing in the world John wouldn't do to fix this. A divorce...he wasn't sure he would actually be able to survive it.

Five divorces, five woman, each he thought he had actually loved.

But every single day he spent with Jodi he grew more and more sure she was the woman he was supposed to have been with for the rest of his life. He had kids with her for God's-sake, and there was no way in hell he was going to walk out on that.

The sounds of distant traffic and sounds of the city reached John's ears, and he walked to the edge of the roof, leaning over the brick wall and looking down into the street below.

He had fucked this up, big time, and even he knew it.

She had done wrong. He had done wrong. But at least Jodi had admitted it.

He could see, every time the three of them were around Elliot. She acted a bit awkward, almost frightened and from that John knew she truly felt remorse for what she had done. Some things would have a life-long impact, but he couldn't really blame anyone but himself.

If he was going to make this big a deal of things, he should simply have given things time before he proposed to her.

It had been a year now. A year since all of that went down, and now they were married with three beautiful children.

He had been angry for so long. He had simply kissed Casey. In fact, she kissed him and then Jodi had gone out and fucked Elliot.

At first he did not know what to feel, other than anger. Then he had realized, he absolutely could not lose her. When he had seen her in that Starbucks, he thought he was going to in every sense of the word. She had been losing so much weight, looking totally and completely unhealthy.

So he had proposed, foolishly not thinking about the time they really needed to get back into things. They had barely even been dating for two months, but John had done it.

Now he was suffering the consequences, proving even more inexperienced in marriage than she was, after multiple ones himself.

"You're going to catch a cold out here you know."

Her face was soft, but strong as ever. John turned his head to find Jodi standing by the door, holding his coat in her hands.

John looked up, just as thick and heavy white snowflakes began to tumble onto the Earth all around them.

Jodi took small steps, gingerly coming towards him. John noticed that she herself wore nothing but a thin azure-blue sweater and a pair of jeans.

Her hair blew past her face, whipping in the light wind and Jodi handed him his jacket, looking down at her black Chuck-Taylors.

John was left completely speechless, and he did the only thing he could think of at that moment.

Taking her into his arms, John brought her tightly to his chest.

"Please, I love you so much. I love you so fucking much." he said fiercely, burrowing his face in her neck.

Jodi remained stiff, and patted him awkwardly on the back before pulling away and grabbing his hand.

"Come on, let's go inside."

Jodi sat at the counter across from John, both of them looking at one another intently.

She swirled around the glass of scotch in her hand, before taking a sip and setting it down once more.

"John, I don't think you understand...you hurt me. You hurt me...so bad."

"I didn't mean what I said, I just lost my temper."

Jodi took another sip, blinking rapidly so as not to let the tears come forth before biting her lip.

"John...I can forgive you calling me a slut. Whore. Bitch. Whatever. What hurt me the most, is that you looked me in the eyes and lied to me. I really don't believe that you love me."

A tense silence hung in the air, and Jodi looked at John, hard in the eyes. For the first time since what had seemed an eternity, she say his dark eyes swimming with what shocked her as tears.

Jodi jerked away involuntarily as his hand reached across the counter towards her own, and she watched as John slowly retracted it, biting his lip.

"Jodi..." he said softly, looking away.

"John, please. Just tell me." Jodi repeated, feeling her body tremble.

All she wanted was to hear the words come from his mouth, and truly mean them. She wanted to know that he loved her. Just hearing those simply words would make everything better.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much." he said, his voice cracking.

Lunging forward, John grabbed her hand so hard that her rings dug into her finger, and Jodi closed her eyes tightly, listening to he words echo over and over in her head.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

They had made love fiercely in the complete darkness of the bedroom, and John found himself unable to think of anything but her.

They had gone up to the bed without a word, with no intentions of such a thing happening at all, but it did. John found himself kissing her, both of their tears mingling, and grabbing her face in his hands.

Then she had fallen into his arms, so warm and soft. The body he used to feel, and her soft whimpers left him unable to do anything but kiss her even more. Even harder.

Falling into the sheets, he buried himself inside of her, sighing as he felt what it was like to be inside of her once more. The both whined in unison, moaning and screaming and sharing ecstasy until she began to thrash wildly beneath him, crying out in pure unadulterated pleasure.

And now here they were, right beside one another. Jodi lay with her eyes half-closed, a lazy smile playing on her lips. John looked down at her, before kissing her forehead and sighing.

Things were finally right again.