A/N: I DO NOT own the rights to any part of the Law & Order franchise, or the rights to the song Judas by Lady GaGa.
Judas
"Jodi that was incredible!" Olivia exclaimed, leaning in and pulling her into a hug.
Jodi smiled, feeling close to passing out before looking towards John who stood with his hands in his pockets.
"These are for you." he said with a grin, looking down and grabbing a bouquet of black roses.
"These are beautiful." she smiled, wondering how the hell he had managed to find a full bouquet in the city on short notice.
"You were beautiful." John grinned sheepishly.
"Thanks." Jodi replied quietly, stepping forward.
He put his arms around her, and she stood on her toes, ignoring the pain as he pulled her into a kiss. A whirlwind epic romance kind of kiss.
She nibbled on his bottom lip gently, completely forgetting that they were surrounded by other people until her brother cleared his throat loudly.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to not see my sister sucking face today."
She pulled away from John gingerly, and gave her brother a quick glance before turning to everyone else.
"Thankyou all for coming." she smiled.
"Oh you're welcome, it really was great." Kathy said, smiling.
Jodi gave her the smallest of grins in return. She still felt guilty almost every waking hour about her incident with Elliot.
"Thanks. I made a lot of mistakes though." Jodi shrugged.
She was met with a barrage of argument from the others, but ignored it. She could really think of nothing but getting back home to her children.
"You alright?" John whispered in my ear.
"I just want to get home to the kids." she replied.
He nodded before, putting an arm around her.
"Sorry guys, we're going to head home now. Jodi wants to get back to the kids."
"Yeah, we need to go check on Eli." Kathy said, grabbing Elliot's arm.
Everyone said goodbye to one another and exchanged hugs, before John led her out several blocks to where he had parked.
He held open the door and she got inside, rubbing her bare arms against the cold early winter wind and crossing her legs.
Immediately she kicked off her Uggs, moaning as she looked down at her toes which had already bled through the gauze she had put on.
John got in on the other side and started the car, glancing over.
"Jeez." he muttered, looking at her bloody toes.
"They feel worse than they look." Jodi replied, shoving them back into her boots and silently thanking God that the interior was so soft.
John looked over again, before suddenly lunging over and grabbing her arm.
"What are you doing?" she asked irritably.
"What the hell is this?" he asked, running his fingertips over cuts in her flesh.
"Nothing." Jodi replied, and tried to yank her arm from his grip but he clenched on tightly.
"You're cutting yourself?" he asked, gazing up at her face.
She couldn't even look at him. Look int those eyes, wide with disbelief. More hurtful than anything though, he was looking at her like she was crazy.
"It was just once." she replied.
"Just once? Jodi, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Let go!" she screamed, yanking her arm from his grip and sitting back in her seat.
"You need help." he said, shaking his head.
"No, I fucking don't. Look, will you just drive the damn car?"
"What, so we can go home and have you around the kids?"
"What the hell are you saying?" Jodi asked, her face suddenly coloured with anger.
"I'm saying, I've seen stuff like this everyday. What happens if you lose it around the kids?"
"Wait, are you saying I can't fucking take care of my fucking kids?" Jodi roared, her face heated enough to match her hair.
She noticed John waver a bit, probably never having see her this angry before.
"I just meant..."
"You meant what? Go ahead, tell me!" she screamed.
"Look, what you're doing isn't healthy. I just don't want you to lose your temper around the kids or something and accidentally do something we can't undo."
"So I'm a fucking psychopath who can't take care of her kids now? Is that it John?"
"No, but-"
She cut him off, throwing open the car door and turning around to find Olivia, Anthony and his date.
They all simply stared, before Jodi slammed the door and took off sprinting, ignoring the stinging pain in her toes and making her way back into the building.
She pushed past people, ignoring swears and squeals of protest and found herself sailing towards the ground as she hit the stairs the wrong way.
"Jodi!" a voice exclaimed.
Looking up, she found Alexander standing over her with a young woman on his arm. One of the swans as a matter of fact.
He bent down, pulling her off the floor and she wiped her face, suddenly realizing that tears had been running down her cheeks.
"What the hell are you alright?" he asked, turning to the girl who Jodi thought to be named Taylor.
"You have a tissue?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes and pulled one out of her pocket, turning her head and pursing her lips with such attitude Jodi couldn't help but chuckle for a moment.
Alexander handed it to her, and she wiped her face before sniffing back mucus.
"Sorry. You guys should be on your way." she said, before making her way up the stairs.
Alexander grabbed her arm, pulling her back.
"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong?"
"Um...just stuff with John. No big deal." she shrugged, knowing very well that it was in fact a very big deal.
"No big deal? You just came barreling in here looking like you just got raped. Come on, we're running out to grab something to eat. Why don't you come?"
Jodi thought about it for a moment. She couldn't go back to the car and face him, that was for sure. Besides, if Taylor stopped scowling long enough to actually talk to her she would understand.
"Um, okay." she nodded.
"Alright, let's go ladies." Alexander said, putting his arms around both of them.
John watched through his windshield as Jodi walked across the street with the guy she always brought around this house and another woman. What was his name? Andrew? Adam?
Whatever it was, John sighed, feeling his heartbeat soar as he replayed the last few moments in his mind.
Maybe he could get her to talk to George or something. It was just that in his line of work, whenever her saw cutting, it wasn't good.
He already knew what other things she was doing to her body. He heard her throwing up every now and then, and had overlooked it because it wasn't that often.
But what if something else was really wrong? What if something lay dormant inside his wife that was trying to get out? It was frustrating. All the crying, yelling and screaming. What if she got sick of it and did something crazy? What if she lit the house on fire? Then he would have no one to blame but himself.
Pulling out his phone, he dialed George's number before putting it to his ear. It rang several seconds before he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Doc, it's Munch."
"Hello John, is there something up?"
"Uh, yeah it's about Jodi. Is there any chance we can meet tonight?"
Dr. Huang was silent for a moment, and John swore he heard another voice on the end of the line.
"Um, sure. Do you know where I live?"
"Have you moved since last year?"
"No."
"Alright, I'll be there in half."
"Are you going to eat that or stare at it because I'm starving." Alexander said, staring at Jodi's massive slice of pizza which lay untouched on her plate.
She tore off a piece, putting it in her mouth before handing it to him. She hadn't eaten in so long that she forgot what it was like to be hungry.
They had stopped at a small pizza joint up in Queens, where Alexander lived. Getting home would take forever, and she somewhat regretted coming with him. It was obvious that she had ruined something Taylor planned from the way the brunette continued to glare at her.
She wiped her greasy fingers on a napkin before sitting back in her seat. On the car ride over, she had told Alexander everything that happened. Of course she could see his reaction when she told him she cut herself, but she could see Taylor fidget slightly in her seat. She was not alone.
However, Alexander understood that John was overreacting about the kids. The truth was, the thought of her or anyone else hurting her children sent her into a frenzy of angry tears. She could never. She loved them more than anything. More than John. More than her father. More than herself.
The thought that her own husband would even suggest such a thing made her heart ache painfully, and her stomach churn. Her blood continued to boil and every moment she was on the verge of tears.
Jodi leaned forward, taking a sip from the bottle of Gatorade she had bought and side, crossing her legs.
"Hey, how about you spend the night at my place tonight?" Alexander asked.
"What?" she said, the same time as Taylor who sat up.
Alexander ignored Taylor, looking at her as he chewed on his pizza.
"It's a long ride back to your place. Besides, I think you two just need a night apart. You look like you're going to kill someone at any second."
Jodi grinned. It was true, but from the look on Taylor's face she didn't dare say yes.
"I probably shouldn't. It seems like you two had plans tonight, and I've already interrupted enough."
"See, she doesn't want to." Taylor said, turning to Alexander and grabbing his hand.
"We didn't really have anything going tonight. Besides, we can ride together for the next show."
As soon as he said that, Taylor leaned back in her chair, before getting up and grabbing her coat.
"Where are you going?" Alexander asked.
She simply flipped him off before leaving the restaurant, throwing open the door and storming past them outside.
Alexander sighed, putting his face in his hands.
"So you really mean to tell me no now?" he said.
"Fine." Jodi grinned, tearing off another piece of his slice of pizza and putting it in her mouth.
She stood up, shivering slightly in the tank top she wore.
"Here." Alexander said, handing her his coat.
"Oh no, I couldn't."
"Would you rather go home to your kids sick? Just take it."
She smiled, grabbing it from him and sliding it on.
"Thanks."
"Yep." he replied, standing up and wiping his hands on his jeans.
"You leaving already Alex?" someone yelled.
Jodi turned around to see it was one of the guys working the counter, an older gentleman who looked more German than Italian.
"Yeah, got another early day tomorrow."
"Alright, see you around kid."
Alexander waved then opened the door for Jodi. She stepped outside, and together they walked to his car.
She got in, squeezing his jacket around her and closed her eyes, leaning against the cool window.
"Thanks for all of this, I really appreciate it." she said.
"No problem, that's what friends are for isn't it?"
"Yeah...I guess so."