Welcome!

This is a revamp of a story I began several years ago. I've been eager to return to this and am back eagerly.

Chapter One.

The small window of an airplane had allowed for the passengers to witness the undulating and vast landscape of North America as they traveled some 6 miles up. It was hard to make out anything without a good sense of geography or American cities. From that high up, most cities look roughly the same, and the bits in between even more so. A flight out of the most loathed airport on the east coast, Laguardia, to a layover in Chicago, to a layover in Denver would eventually lead to the last airport in Seattle. 8 years had passed since Bella had willingly set foot in Forks, Washington. The rainy, named-after cutlery small town on the west coast had never appealed much to her. Bella realized it might have something to do with not being very close with Charlie.

Across the two layovers, Bella had time to reflect on her decisions to abandon the east coast. Part of it seemed fitting, as she never had a rebellious phase growing up. School and life hadn't been immensely challenging. She had her share of bumps in the road and issues but it never felt like the end of the world. She was always able to make her marks and Renee didn't really pressure her to ace every exam. Sitting in a plastic chair in a busy airport, Bella pictured Renee and Phil as she saw them saying goodbye at the airport. Phil was Renee's beau of the last few years, and her biological father couldn't be less alike.

Her father Charlie was a quiet and stern man. A chief of police down to the bone- she never understood what bubbly and energetic Renee had seen in him. Maybe a man she wanted to fix. What young Renee hadn't grasped was that Charlie didn't need fixing. Bella and Charlie weren't close by any means but she didn't consider him a broken man. Her father visited as often as he could, and she stayed in Forks for some holidays, but everyone had agreed that the education in New York would be the most beneficial to Bella's upbringing. It had been hard to argue with. The city made her a little cynical but most of all she felt like she was able to gain perspective and appreciate cultures at a young age. She felt lucky for the life she'd gotten to experience but she needed to slow down and figure out what life she wanted this to be.

A gap year seemed important after being whisked away by Renee and Phil anytime Bella wasn't in the midst of exams after high school. They weren't globe trotters but the regular road trips and visits for Phil's away-games had started Bella on a path towards self-fulfillment. "Do what you love, and the money will come", seemed like a good theory Renee had preached when trying to help Bella feel encouraged to chase her dreams. She also remembered overhearing Phil say "that's why you do me" in return. She smiled a little at their gross and childish antics.

It wasn't that she didn't enjoy seeing her mom happy- Phil and Renee couldn't be a better fit, and seeing her mom glow from the adoration and general thrill of companionship with an equal in spirit was wonderful too. Something in Bella didn't feel at home anymore. It was so hard to put into words how much she needed to explore this uncertainty and tug in her gut. She felt a physical pull away from home- a need to further her education maybe. She loved discussion classes in her undergrad, sure, but the thought of graduate school just to be in a degree program earning a master's in English language didn't sit well with her either. Maybe not to Forks and Charlie, but she wanted some time to not worry about the expense of an apartment by herself or with roommates.

As promised, Bella diligently turned her phone on and shot a quick text to Renee and Charlie at each layover. She fought the urge to text Jacob. One layover was delayed an hour as Bella hovered by a rare and coveted outlet, charging her phone and taking notes in a small black notebook. It might be nice to write something worthwhile during her reflection and time off. She didn't fancy herself Thearaeu, but the idea of being in a cabin in the woods with the calm of the mountains and rain to keep her company seemed like the right escape. She spent plenty of time people-watching in the layovers too and thought about growing up and hanging around in Manhattan with Renee. She didn't remember her bedroom at Charlie's house very clearly, but she could picture the rain hitting the large glass windows as the cool-grey light filled the room, exposing a dark and quiet forest filled with deciduous and evergreen trees. Something about it was romantic in her head. The sleek grey of sidewalks lost its appeal to skinned knees. She did miss nature, privacy, and had the desire to cozy up and reflect on life while facing the great wilderness and peace. More and more returning to Forks felt like the best decision she could have made right now.

Bella also knew it would be strange to forage ahead directly without her confidants. Maybe there was more of Renee in her than she'd realized. Renee had fled Forks in search of control in her life and existence many years ago. She'd called Bella an old soul and mature- and maybe it was true if she was having her existential crisis at 22. Recently Bella had begun to wonder if maturity was really a symptom of lost childhood and necessity pushing her to grow too fast.

The last flight was the longest. A mounting 11 hours of traveling and budget-saving layovers were taking their toll. Bella never slept on flights with Renee and Phil, and always was kept awake from the constant motion and purely from eagerness to reach the destination. This was the first series of flights without her mom or friends, and the one headed to Seattle was probably the same size plane as the rest of them. Bella felt no more at ease, or ready to nap despite her exhaustion. After turning off the inflight film, she found she couldn't daydream with the same level of peace.

Some level of anxiety kicked in and her thoughts flickered back to Jacob and she chewed on her lip. She stopped the nervous tick of chewing with a small scowl when she remembered him pointing out how it made her cheeks look funny. Okay so, maybe some of her fleeing across the country was in spite of a relationship gone awry.

More than just one relationship. She and Jacob grew up together in New York. He had been from La Push, a small town near Forks. It was such a small world and kismet to meet across the country. Bella learned later in life that it's more than coincidence when people tend to meet people from the same small world, even from across the globe. When Jacob and Bella ended up going to the same middle school, it was just a matter of time for them to connect. Initially they bonded over the strangeness of "East coast people". Jake was fun, light hearted, and so sweet. They barely dated in high school, if it could even be called that. Sharing a first kiss together and both realizing within a week of each other that it just didn't feel like it should. The awkward fumblings of virgins weren't the problem, just the passion wasn't there. It wasn't heartache, but it had been so hard to maintain their close kinship once they were in college and seeing other people. Especially since Renesmee.

Honestly, it felt good to let Jacob and Renesmee figure things out. Bella felt a small air of superiority in knowing better than Renesmee but didn't delude herself. She frowned again, absent-mindedly reflecting on their last conversation. It had been tense parting with Jake- Renesmee sitting on the sidewalk while he and Bella hashed it out. It was a mix of understanding and care that pulled them apart. Too many people in their lives left someone for something a little shinier and newer and exciting. They were old enough to understand that no one wants to doubt themselves or feel like a second place trophy in a relationship. She didn't hold it against them too strongly.

With a slow breath, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through old photos, and smiled at an old joke documented by Jake. It wasn't even funny anymore but the memories she associated with it make her smile.

"Miss?"

In the seat to her left was a young man. He was hard to miss when she boarded. Nothing extremely noteworthy but Bella had gotten an ill feeling sitting next to him. It was hard to put her finger on it. He sat a little taller than her, maybe by 4 inches or so. Dark, almost black brown hair and brown eyes. He smiled at her when their eyes met.

"Anything good enough to share with the class?" She met his eyes. When Bella didn't immediately respond he continued, "I'm Tyler. Sorry for the lame joke, just starting to really get bored out of my mind." His playful backpedaling didn't make Bella feel more at ease. She felt sharply aware of any man talking to her.

"Hey Tyler, I'm Bella." She paused and thought over her reply on how friendly she wanted to be. "Yeah, this has been a pretty rough one. But we'll make it through. Two hours left isn't so bad especially with a book and high-quality in-flight entertainment." She jibed back, gesturing to the tiny screens on the seats in front of them playing movies that can only boast making it to the airplane circuit. Being conversational wasn't so bad as long as it didn't last too long.

Tyler seemed comfortable with that response. He smiled at her, showing a pearly-white smile. She wanted to sink into a hole instead of continuing to talk to him too much. Something about his air-brush tanned and even complexion put her ill at ease. It wasn't that Bella didn't like tanning, just something about putting so much effort into your appearance to look fresh from the beach made her tool-alert tick.

Tyler stretched and groaned and rattled his wrist to look at his watch. "You're right. Two hours isn't so bad. Especially in the right company." He didn't meet her eyes that time.

"I'm just anxious, I haven't seen my partner in a few months and they're meeting me at the airport. I just finished my first semester in grad school and skype dating isn't the same. Can't be in Seattle soon enough." He sighed and looked back at Bella. Bella melted a little. She felt a little humbled to feel off-put superficially.

Back at home everyone was pretty neatly kept. Renee was a bit of a hippie, but in a Martha Stewart, witchy sort of way. She was always redecorating when they were home and helped Bella to keep a good image and take care of herself. Oils, crystals, and all sorts of energy balancing fads came and went with the wind. They brought with them yoga, good health, and a slew of other benefits but Bella was still skeptical.

Jake was probably the worst of them. He had been managing to strike the balance of the laissez-faire bourgeoisie of New York. Upscale casual clothes looked effortless. Bella had recently started to work out with some regularity instead of relying on her metabolism forever. Over the last three years, Jake had rapidly changed into a beast- at the gym every day or night and putting on at least 30 pounds of muscle, which had developed him from the tall and scrappy kid she knew to a broad-shouldered gym rat of a man seemingly overnight.

"I don't mind chatting. I haven't been to Washington in a while. Have you two always been long distance?" She asked politely. It wasn't the most stimulating conversation but suddenly talking to another person didn't seem like such a bad idea. After all, she didn't have many friends waiting for her in Forks. She paused on that thought and gently reminded herself to look into networking opportunities and events to meet others in Seattle and surrounding areas.

"No, not always. But I've been working on some new clients in Austin, and it's hard to take all of Seattle with me for just a few months." The vagueness intrigued Bella and they settled into easy chit-chat for the next few minutes. The fasten seatbelt sign flickered and beeped and brought them both back to reality. They both smiled- not too long now.

The plane landed without remark. Turbulence still phased her a little but not like it used to. She felt calmer the closer she was to Washington. Even if the plane crashed, she could probably swim, right?

Disembarking was always stiffy and wobbly work, but Bella managed to make her way off of the plane and to baggage claim.

"Bells?" Bella heard a familiar voice call out. She turned quickly to spot Charlie in a thin crowd.

"Hey, Dad!" We greeted each other with a hug and an awkward pat on the back before stepping back from each other.

"I think congratulations are in order after this last year!" Charlie said heartily with a grin. "Here, I'll help with the bags. I forgot what moving in looks like. Are all of these really yours?"

"I might be missing a bag or two still."
"Really?!"
"No."

They laughed and made their way towards the exit. Bella shot Renee a text that Charlie had picked her up safely and a note that she'd call them tomorrow.

The ride in the cruiser as usual made for a smooth and steady journey to Forks. It had been a while since Charlie had been hitting the pavement, but his life as Chief still left room for circling the streets on lonely nights Forks. Bella's stomach growled while they were catching up in the car.

"Is pizza okay with you? I think the fridge might be empty." Bella's eyes rolled. Some things she didn't miss about coming back were true to form bachelor laziness and reluctance to cook or keep a fresh vegetable in the house, god forbid. After they did bring back pizza and had some at the small eat-in kitchen, Bella turned in for an early night and opted to start unpacking one of the bags and leave the rest for the morning. Charlie had asked about Evan and Jacob. She talked a bit about Jacob, the addition of Renesmee, and gave a quick lame reply about why she and Evan weren't together anymore. The clear cut ending she gave Charlie satisfied him. He cared for her and didn't want to see her hurt but Bella knew that he didn't want to delve into boys and feelings for too long.

She woke up sweating and feverish. She felt the ghost of hot breaths on her throat, damp hands tight on her wrists, and body pressed against her in a pool. At 2 am, Bella showered and got ready for bed again. With a clean body, her mind felt more at ease. This was her space now. The night air looked cool through the window of the second story as she looked out at the waning moon. A new moon would come soon and the nights would be a little darker over the next few nights. Bella found herself regretting suddenly not paying more attention to moon cycles and astrology when Renee spoke on it.

When she woke up again it was after 7 in the morning, and the light had begun to shine rather brightly through the uncovered window. The light of the sun was unforgiving when not guarded constantly by clouds. A rare, cloudless day in Forks was to be cherished.

She started with a simple set of tasks- forage for groceries, make breakfast, scout the local libraries for events and good reading nooks, and then she could start exploring.

Groceries were easy enough- she bumped into only one old acquaintance she knew through Charlie and made her way through the conversation quickly. Bringing home eggs, bread, chicken, fruits, and vegetables, Bella set on her way to cook breakfast.

She carefully diced bell pepper and shaved some cheese. There was no need or want for a trip to an emergency room right now. Some months ago in Evan's apartment, she slipped up in the kitchen and it ended disastrously. A small white sliver graced the tip of her (thankfully still attached) pointer finger on her left hand. Half of the skin had nearly been shaved off in her carelessness. She was eager to not experience that or anything like it again. He wasn't cross with her, just bored.

She felt a pain in her chest thinking that she would somehow gain personality and charm from traveling to Forks. Escaping New York, more than wanting to be in Forks. Her heart felt more like it had been stepped on than anything else. There were some memories she was working on moving past but most of it was seeking a sense of self-worth.

She was able to breathe a little easier after taking Charlie's old truck back out to the Forks Library. It was a little smaller than Bella would have liked- maybe the size of a large bodega. It wasn't filled with the latest authors and she felt hard-pressed to be lost to the main room. It had its appeal and charm but she knew to seek Port Angeles first, then Seattle. She had read once that it was the most literate city in the country. It was almost nightfall when she reached the bookstore in Port Angeles, the dusky twilight trip made easier with GPS.

She remembered coming here with Charlie and hanging out with some of the neighborhood kids near her age around the holidays and running around the blocks chasing each other. Her fingers twitched on her phone to look at who to contact and reunite with while she was in the area. She left it for now and forced herself to stay grounded in the moment when she entered the bookstore.

She ran her hands along the shelves and took in the warmth of the store. Now, this was a bookstore. It was increasingly harder to find an experience like this every day- brimmed with overflowing shelves in every category. A back wall dedicated to anatomy, a front kiosk to NYT recent bestsellers, and several aisles of classic and new age fiction. She felt warm and pleased to be here and far from home on her own.

As she wandered in the aisles, she stopped in the classics and overheard the store owner and a customer, whispering perhaps slightly louder than necessary on the other side of the aisle. Bella stopped to listen. A younger male voice was speaking. His voice was a little reedy and cracked once when he spoke.

"That one was pretty doc. I'd keep my eyes open around here, the warm months bring all the babes to the coast. Can't be fun all by yourself."

She blinked as she took it in. Though the store was relatively empty, it couldn't have been aimed at her directly.

She heard a warm timbre of a laugh. Did she just find a laugh attractive?

"Thanks, Peter… I'll be fine without picking up anything other than what I need. I'd like to get it before I go."

Bella turns quickly and knocks several books scattering off of the shelf with her elbow and bag. Damn her clumsiness and lack of awareness!

She starts to bend down to pick up the abused covers and splayed pages of the fallen books. A strong and smooth hand is helping her collect books.

Well damn. He's unbelievably good looking. She takes it in as she slowly picks up a few more of the books. Crouched down, his eyes are focused on the books he's collecting to put back on the shelf. A pair of glasses hang precariously from a sportcoat pocket. He's dressed sharply, but that's not what Bella notices. Blonde hair and pale skin are exposed only by his neck up and his hands. Hm.

No ring, and no tan line. He stands up fully; his shoulders are broad and he is definitely taller than her, she needs to look up slightly to meet his gaze. Dark Amber- a trick of the light or colored contacts? His eyes are utterly magnetic and electrifying to look into. It would be even more enjoyable if he didn't look so tense. Her breath catches at his expression. He looks like she's causing him physical pain to even be looking at her.

He hands her five books from the floor. Their fingertips graze gently in the exchange and his hand twitches at the touch.

"Thank you." Bella manages. She's totally confused by the curt nod and pained smile she gets in return. He turns and walks quickly and smoothly to the register. Bella pretended to be totally invested in the copy of Jane Ayre she grabbed off the shelf.

The exchange was quick in cash, and he leaves immediately after thanking the employee. She turned as the man opened the door to see who left in a hurry.

Bella watches him as he leaves. He casts a glance over his shoulder and their eyes met for a moment. He paused for the briefest moment on his way out while he held her gaze, and turned away to let the door of the library shut quickly behind him. Through the bookstore door window, she saw him lithely jog down the stairs and across the street to a sleek black sedan. Her mind wolf-whistled at seeing the cut and fit of the slim trousers view from behind. That was a nice view too.

Bella remembered to breathe regularly again from hearing the sound of the weight of the wooden door slamming and feeling the rush of fresh air whoosh with the same movement. A glimpse of a side of a stranger's face was plastered into her mind. She walked to the counter with Jane Ayre in hand.

"Who was that?" She asked the employee.

He laughed a little and sighed. "He's some doctor who moved nearby a few months ago. Keeping the store in good business. Don't know much but seems like a pleasant fellow. Usually knows exactly what he wants and is happy to part with his cash." Bella nodded without much thought. Not much to go off. She felt invested and a little silly at the mood that came on. Her heart pounded in her chest when their eyes met. It felt a little more intense than a glance of a stranger, something in the moment made her a little anxious and weak.

She couldn't put her finger on what it was but all she felt now was curiosity. He had been handsome for sure - actually really good looking, strangely more like a model than a doctor. By looks alone, he didn't look significantly older than her. She had heard the tires squeal on damp asphalt as the sleek-looking sedan pulled away in a hurry as she was paying. Weird asshole.

She brushed it off with the thought of doctor-salaries and maybe he had the latest and greatest treatments at his disposal. That seemed a little irrational too, but anything else seemed unfair. She started to actually put it out of her mind after she left and enjoyed the night sky wrap around her headlights on the quiet road. It was a damp evening on the drive back, a quiet late spring Wednesday after most business hours.

Bella's mind drifted between Evan and her friends, and what she wanted to start building for herself. She felt a little tired again but kept sharply focused on the road. Just a little weary from the last few weeks of her life shifting and rebuilding. She thought to call Charlie to see if he was fine with the groceries she bought earlier or if she should just pick up dinner for tonight.

A deer lurched out in front of the headlights and Bella swerved.

note:

more to come soon!

Expect weekly updates.

Please shoot a PM or leave a review of any feedback!

-CC