OK, so this is about to go a bit Allison Dubois. In attempting to lift the tone/mood, I am having to enter this zone. I didn't want there to be chapter after chapter of pain and grief. I couldn't have sustained that. So – just so I don't slash my own wrists, I am about to create a twist in the tale...

oOo

The first thing Harry does after the funeral is to arrange to inspect the house in Suffolk, the one Ruth had wanted to buy. She doesn't go there with him. She can't bear to do that. She hopes he won't buy the cottage, because then she'll have to be with him there – where they had planned to live together – and the absolute irony of it all would be too much for her.

When he arrives home, she knows he will not buy the cottage. He heads straight for the drinks cabinet and pours three fingers of Glenfiddich into a glass. For the first time in the week since she died, Harry's dog, Scarlett, pricks up her ears at Ruth's presence. The dog looks right at her. Then she growls a low guttural growl.

"Dopey dog," Harry mutters, shutting Scarlett in the laundry.

For the next week Ruth stays with Harry while he passes his days like an automaton. All his behaviour is automatic, habitual, robotic. Each night she lays next to him on his bed, watching over him while he sleeps, mostly fitfully and shallowly. Some nights he cries himself to sleep, others he sleeps heavily and noisily because he is drunk, having crashed on to his bed fully clothed.

During this time Ruth is progressively overwhelmed by Harry's sadness, so overwhelmed that she is not sure she can help him. He is beyond comforting, and she is becoming weighed down by his grief.

She decides she should visit Malcolm. She doesn't know what else to do. When she `arrives' he is tending to his mother, helping her out of her chair and guiding her to the dining table. Ruth stands at a distance and tries a new approach. She wills him to contact Harry. Ring Harry, Malcolm. He needs you now. Go to him. He needs you.

Suddenly, Malcolm looks up and stares across the room towards where Ruth is leaning against a cupboard. She can tell that he doesn't see her, but she's certain he senses her.

"Mum," Malcolm says quietly, "I have to go out this afternoon. I have to see someone. I'll get Marge to come in and sit with you."

With that, Malcolm leaves, and Ruth sits in the car with him, as he drives well over the speed limit towards Harry's house.

"Harry, sorry to do this to you," Malcolm says, walking down the hallway ahead of Harry, "but something very strange just happened to me while I was at home."

"Drink, Malcolm?" Harry asks.

"Just a cup of tea would be nice."

The two men sit at the table over a pot of English Breakfast, and to Ruth, Malcolm seems suddenly unsure. She already knows what it is he plans to say. Go on, Malcolm, she wills, spit it out.

"Harry," Malcolm begins, "do you believe in life after death?"

"If I did I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now, would I? And you're the only one who knows that I'm in a mess, by the way. Don't spread it around if you can help it. The last thing I need right now is a stretch in Tring."

"Fair point. It's just that a little while ago I was home, and I swore that I heard Ruth speaking to me."

Harry laughs. "Now who's the crazy one?"

"No, please hear me out. I was tending to Mum, and she wasn't speaking and neither was I. Then, just as I got her comfortably seated, I heard Ruth telling me to ring you and that you needed me."

"Well, if she did, then she's mistaken, because I didn't ask for you."

"No, you didn't, but she did. She asked me to come to you. I had the distinct feeling she's worried about you. And just when we sat down here at the table, I was thinking of not mentioning any of this. It can be a bit far-fetched to some. But I heard her – felt her – telling me to `spit it out'. She wanted me to tell you."

Harry has gone a little pale. He sighs heavily.

"Harry," Malcolm continues, "I know you're not handling Ruth's death very well. You don't have to hide this from me. I know how much you loved her, and she you, and I also know that you feel responsible for her death. I hate to see you this way. I – I think – I believe that Ruth is here, in this house, watching over you." Ruth can feel Malcolm's nervousness. He expects Harry to be angry, and an angry Harry is a force of nature.

Surprisingly, when Harry looks up at him, Malcolm can see the shimmer of tears in his eyes.

"Now, why would she do that?" Harry asks quietly.

"Firstly," Malcolm begins, "let me tell you what happened after my father died. Mum was very low for a long time, and then something changed. It happened quite suddenly. About a month after he'd died, I felt him around us. It was just like he was there, except we couldn't detect him with our five senses. Both Mum and I could sense him, and with practice, we were able to figure out what he was saying to us. It was an instinctual thing. Then after a time he left us, but only once we were settled, and ready to move on with our lives. Harry, just suspend your judgements for a moment. Who is the person who loves you the most?"

"Ruth."

"And were you to have been the one who was stabbed and killed, and you found yourself in the world of spirit, free to go anywhere you liked, where would you go?"

"To her."

"So – let's just assume for a moment that there is such a thing as a spirit. And if there is, that Ruth now exists in this realm. Where do you think she'd be right now?"

"Here...with me." Tears spill slowly from Harry's eyes down his cheeks. He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper.

"Yes," Malcolm replies. "And I believe she's here right now. I can sense her. Ruth had – still has – a certain calm strength, and a warmth around her, and I can feel that – in this room right now. Has your dog been acting strangely?"

Harry looks sharply at Malcolm. "Scarlett? Yes, a couple of times she's barked at nothing, and I had to put her out, because she wouldn't stop."

"Where was she when this happened?"

"In the living room. She was barking at the cupboard by the wall."

"Harry, perhaps she was barking at something that was standing by the cupboard. It's a possibility. Animals and small children can sense the spirit world. They can see those in spirit."

"But I don't believe in any of this hokum. I just can't accept it."

"That doesn't mean that it isn't true. I was a skeptic until after my father died. Just keep an open mind, Harry. It can't do any harm."

Ever since Harry had lost Ruth, at the back of his mind had been a worm of a thought burrowing away...how was it possible for the brilliance, intelligence, compassion and warmth of this woman to have instantly disappeared from the collective intelligence on earth?

He could not come to terms with her spark being lost forever, so this leaves him free to explore some other concepts.

So that is how, over the next few days, Harry begins to open his mind to the possibility that Ruth is present in his house.