A/N: Okay, um... hooray! It's chapter fourteen! -halfheartedly blows party... blower thing- This'll be a bigger deal next chapter, because next chapter will make FIFTEEN. And that's, like, a milestone. Oh hey guys, I know we've plugged this before, but you should probably go read Alice in the Country of Hearts. And I mean, you should buy it? Why? Because Frigid Fire wants that damn video game in English, and it won't happen unless sales are high. . I would just like to take the time to say that the "party blower thing" is typically called a noisemaker or something to that effect. And I would also like to say that I'm sort of feeling the direct need to eat some Honey Bunches of Oats right now... It's sort of my ritualistic one-in-the-morning snack. Yeah. I really don't have much of anything left to say... :D
Special thanks to our super-fantastical-BAMFy-kickass-spectacular-awesome-and-any-other-adjectives-I-missed-reviewers: Shadow (We're glad you liked it! And we really don't have any specifics for when Ed and Al will show up. They'll just do whatever it is that they do until we figure it out.), chocolvr (We're thinking of doing a oneshot or miniseries featuring Benji as the main character. ^^ We won't tell you the pairing yet though. Why? Because we're evil. :]), Charlie (Charlie, honey, we aren't going to quit just like that. I thought you knew us better than that. ;) We assure you that there's still a shitload of stuff yet to come. And yes, you do need to find a higher rooftop. :P), Fire and Ice (WE MISSED YOU! Yes. And also, we accept your challenge! It may not happen immediately, but it's now on our list of things to do. We're actually thinking of doing an FMA crack booklet for everyone's enjoyment. ^^)
Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. We do own Brent though. He's sort of our bitch. ;)
"There's a call for you, Sir," Riza Hawkeye put her hand over the bottom of the phone, waiting for her superior officer to reply.
"Who is it?"
"I'm not sure, Sir. It's some woman blubbering about her little sister's well-being and is asking for you."
Roy's eyes widened slightly as he took the phone from the lieutenant. "Charlotte! What's wrong? What happened to my Alice?" At the sound of the colonel claiming any female as exclusively his, the underlings exchanged a look. The look translated to: Holy shit! What's going on! Eavesdropping? I think yes.
"…Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" Roy was visibly relieved, causing raised eyebrows from the underlings.
There was a pause before the colonel smirked slightly and replied, "You do have a good point there. So what time? Uh-huh. Yeah, sounds great. See you then." And with that, he hung up the phone and turned towards his team. "What the hell are you all sitting around for? Get to work."
"Y-Yes sir!" they all said in unison, but they all exchanged another look. Havoc only gave them a smug smile when they glanced at him. 'I know something you don't know~!'
"Hey, Colonel."
"What is it, Havoc?"
"I wasn't aware that you were in such close contact with my other sister. How's that working out for you, by the way?" Havoc smirked and took a drag from his cigarette.
Roy smirked, though he was a tad bit irritated by the question. "Not that it's any business of yours, Havoc, it seems to be working out just fine."
It was Thursday. Due to the fact that it was Thursday, Alice was preparing to set
off across the city to Charlotte's house. The journey wasn't nearly as perilous as the end result was; that end result being, of course, that she had to see her sister.
Alice hadn't decided yet if she was going to tell Charlotte of what had transpired between herself and Roy. There would be a freak-out if she did tell Charlotte, but the consequences would be horrid if Alice didn't tell her and her sister found out anyway. It was a lose-lose situation, but the former seemed the best plan of action to take.
Today, though, Alice didn't even get a chance to knock on the door before Brianna came barreling out the door, latching onto the woman's knees for dear life. "Aunty! Aunty! We missed you! Why didn't you bring Uncle?"
Detaching the girl from her legs, Alice knelt down to Brianna's level. "Uncle was working today, sweetheart. He couldn't come." Brianna pouted before running back inside to play a game with her dolls. Alice smiled fondly after the girl before stepping into the house herself and being greeted with a genuine smile from her older sister. The normalcy that was floating through the house caught Alice off guard, and immediately she was on the defensive.
"Hi there, Charlotte. You're awfully… subdued, today."
"Dearest sister, if you came around more often, you'd see that I'm normally like this."
"LIES!" Alice heard exclaimed from the kitchen, and Charlotte rolled her eyes in a sardonically fond way, responding to her husband's outburst. Alice crossed her arms as if to make a point.
"Alice, he's a man. Men don't know anything." Charlotte winked before beckoning the younger girl further inside. "Do you want anything to drink?"
The pianist shook her head in response, and with that the elder sister plopped down on the couch, Alice picking up Luke, who was flailing slightly on the floor, before doing the same. The toddler gurgled, grabbing at Alice's nose, and the woman giggled before mimicking him.
"How on earth did you get such lovely kids, Charlotte?"
"It was partially luck, and it was partially that my husband is moderately attractive." Luke laughed as if to accentuate his mother's words, and Charlotte spoke again, "You and that Colonel, though? You two would make some beautiful children."
Alice turned bright-red; the situation was made even more awkward by the fact that the very pregnant woman was entirely serious. "So, um, uh… What's for supper, Charlotte?" Alice quickly changed the subject.
"Does it matter? You usually like to be surprised. Are you going to try to help me for once? Or are you still too afraid?"
"Um…I suppose it doesn't really matter." Charlotte smirked and stood up to begin meal preparations.
An hour passed without incident. Alice played dolls with Brianna and chased Luke around the house as he toddled about. Brent and Charlotte fussed about in the kitchen. But soon, there was a knock on the door. "Alice, would you be a dear and get that for me?" Charlotte called from the kitchen. Alice, thinking nothing of her sister's abnormally sing-songy voice, stood up and went to the door.
"Why, hello, my dear Alice," Roy smirked at the woman's surprised face. "May I come in?"
"Wh-What are you doing here?"
"Charlotte invited me, of course. And I'll admit that your being here was a contributing factor to my presence." He winked and gave the pianist a kiss on the cheek, to which she responded by blushing deep red.
"You're ridiculous," she said. Her attitude regarding the man had changed slightly since the 'bet' incident, although Alice had wholeheartedly forgiven him. She had taken to being slightly sharper, if not much.
"You still love me." He winked, and they were interrupted by Charlotte, who came out of the kitchen almost faster than her protruding stomach allowed.
"No baby-making in my living room, you two. Lovely to see you, Roy. Sorry about worrying you with my call earlier. This is my husband, Brent."
Roy nodded in accordance with seeing Charlotte's husband, and Brent smiled in greeting. Alice flashed a look between her sister and the military man; there was a phone call? Could Charlotte invade her personal life any more? Such questions were to remain unanswered for all time.
"Well, shall we eat?" Charlotte inquired, motioning towards the table. After a few moments, everyone was seated around the large table. Charlotte had Luke seated at the head of the table with herself and Alice on either side. Brianna was opposite her brother and between Roy and Brent.
"Aunty Alice, I though you said that Uncle Roy had to work," Brianna pointed out as her father cut her meat into pieces.
"He did work, sweetheart," Alice replied, not paying attention. She was a bit upset that Charlotte had gone behind her back to invite Roy to supper.
"Is there something wrong, Alice?" Brent asked innocently.
Alice only sighed and shook her head before taking a bite of potato. She decided that right then was not the right time to show irritation.
Roy decided to break the tension that Alice created by striking up conversation. He turned towards Charlotte, "So, when is the baby due?"
"Baby? What baby?" Brent looked up from his plate in confusion. "What are you talking about? Are you calling my wife fat?"
Roy looked towards the man and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't talking about Charlotte…" Simultaneously, everyone at the table stared at the colonel. "Well, Alice, are you going to tell them, or shall I?"
Alice decided that the best course of action was take another stab at those potatoes. After doing so, she then realized how utterly pissed she was at Charlotte; though Roy had complied to her sister's demands, this was probably the best opportunity to get back at her elder sibling.
"…I had been wanting to keep it a secret for a bit. Charlotte tends to get a little… overexcited over such things." With a smile, slightly sad at the fact Roy had told them before she got to, Alice said, "Yes, it's true. I'm going to be having a baby."
Charlotte's jaw dropped, and Brianna's eyes instantly lit up. "What? That means Aunty Alice and Uncle Roy made me a cousin? When is he going to get here, Aunty?"
Roy sent a wicked grin her way, happy to have found a partner in crime in the usually subdued Alice. "Actually, Bri, it might be a girl. We aren't sure yet."
"Alice is planning on moving in with me shortly. She should be completely out of her old house in the next week." Roy 'lovingly' placed a kiss on the 'soon-to-be mother's' forehead, at which point Alice busted up laughing. Charlotte's look of shock was replaced by one of anger, and she burst into a string of profanities that had Brent covering the children's ears, lest Luke's first word be 'bitch.'
"I'm truly sorry, Charlotte," Roy began with a chuckle.
"And I'm really not. You had it coming for messing with my personal life," Alice said, taking a bite of meat.
"Well maybe I wouldn't have to mess with your personal life if you would actually tell me things! But no, I have to hear them from Ivy!" Charlotte's face went from anger to terror and the room fell silent.
Brent looked up with his mouth full of food and asked, "'Sumth'in wron', hunny?"
"M-My water just broke…" Everyone grew wide-eyed.
Brent gulped down his food. "Wait, what was that? I couldn't hear you; I was eating."
"My water just broke you idiot!"
"Oh… We should probably do something about that, huh?"
"Yeah, Brent! We need to get her to a hospital!" Alice exclaimed.
"But what about supper?"
"Your child is being born and all you care about is food? What the hell is wrong with you?" Charlotte yelled and a string of curses flew out when she had a contraction.
"Aunty Alice? How do you break water?" Brianna asked her aunt innocently.
"Very carefully, sweetheart," Alice replied as she rushed to help her sister get out the door.
Roy and Brent took over for Alice and managed to get the woman out of the house and into the car. It was Alice's job as aunt to gather up the children and get them to the car as well. "This is your fault, Alice," Charlotte complained from the front seat. "If you and your stupid boyfriend hadn't been so mean to me… Oh, who am I kidding, I can't stay mad at you two. BRENT! GET YOUR ASS IN THE CAR! DO I HAVE TO DRIVE MYSELF TO THE GODDAMNED HOSPITAL?"
"No, dear. That would be dangerous…for the other drivers." Brent turned toward Roy and Alice, "Sorry about this, she's a bit…hormonal…"
"Please, I lived with her through those awkward teenage years. Do you know who she took her anger out on? It certainly wasn't you, Brent. It's your turn now," Alice said with a wink.
With a sigh, and a mumble about how, 'this isn't even our car, we borrowed it from my parents,' Brent hopped in the driver's seat. Alice turned to the black-haired man who stood beside her, and said, "You don't have to come."
Roy chuckled as Alice took Luke in her arms, grabbing Brianna by the hand and putting her in the car ahead of him. "Please. As if I'd let my Alice go something like this alone."
Alice smiled in response, and to the lovely music of Charlotte screaming with worry, the hospital had never seemed farther away.