A/N: CHAPTER 15! WHOOT! WHOOT! This is exciting! We made it! YESSSSSSSSS! Are you excited? Because I think that you should be super-excited right now. Like ecstatic. Like jumping off the walls, chair dancing, and singing a song of your own composition excited. Yeah. Maybe not, but authors can dream, can't we? ;) Anyway, there's quite a bit of RoyXAlice Fluff in this chapter along with some funny Brianna bits. Luke isn't as funny because he can't talk yet... :( I should have made his character older... *sigh* Oh well. :) Anyway, after this story is done (but don't worry, we still have at least five more chapters to pump out before even THINKING of quitting) we're thinking of doing a canon crackfic booklet of random oneshots for this fandom. We'll let you know the name of it at a later date so hopefully you'll follow that one too. :) Okay, I think I'm done...
Special thanks to our lovely reviewers for helping us get this far: Charlie (We very much enjoyed both of your reviews, by the way. I'm glad that your vocabulary has expanded! Unwarranted is an awesome word! ^^), chocolvr (You signed in! :D Lex and I go back to school next week, so I dunno about finishing it by then. But I think our goal is to finish it by the end of August. ^^ And I'm glad that you appreciate Brent's ridiculousness.), Lady Skorpio (HI! WE LOVE YOU, OUR LOVELY NEW REVIEWER! :D Okay, I'm done being creepy. ^^ I'm so glad that someone likes Alice better than Ivy. You have no idea how happy that makes me. ^^), Evalyd Yamazaki (Ah...Gotta love the library...Even if the people do stare at you... Thanks for reviewing! ^^ This chapter has some funnies in it too.)
You know what I think? I think that in celebration of making it this far, we should add another segment to our author's note. So without further ado...
Random Bittersweet fact #1: Ivy's character was originally only supposed to appear in one or two chapters and never be mentioned again.
Good idea? Bad idea? There's a shit ton of more random facts if you like this segment. ^^
Disclaimer: We do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. If we did, I would yell at Havoc profusely for smoking. It's not healthy... ;)
The family rushed to the hospital with Charlotte's clan in the first car and with Alice and Roy following close behind in the second. Despite going through this with her elder sister two times before, Alice was still worried. She stared intently at the car in front of them, worrying. Roy put a hand reassuringly on the woman's and glanced at her while saying, "She'll be fine, Alice."
Alice sighed and glared at Roy until his hand retreated with a slight smirk. "It's not her that I'm worried about." Roy cocked an eyebrow. "I'm worried about Brent! Charlotte is likely to kill him!"
Roy couldn't help but chuckle at the pianist. He found it very amusing that she was so concerned for her brother-in-law while her sister was in labor. "Do you not believe me?" she asked in surprise.
"Oh, no. I definitely believe you. But then again, I wouldn't find anything you tell me about Charlotte surprising after meeting her twice."
"Do you see what I had to live with for eighteen years?" she complained with a small smile.
"At least you didn't have to live with both Charlotte and Havoc as a child. Hell, I only have to work with Havoc and I'm pretty sure I've wanted to kill him since the first day."
Alice blinked in surprise as the colonel kept his eyes entirely focused on the road. "Really? Compared to Charlotte, Jean seems as though he might've been able to keep me sane. And even though you don't want to admit it, I'm fairly certain my brother's a good guy."
Roy smiled slightly, flicking a glance the woman's way and laughing. "You've entirely adopted him as your brother, haven't you?" Alice blushed, not even having realized how easily calling Jean Havoc her brother had rolled off her tongue.
"I s-suppose you're right. He might as well be; he's around often enough to be, just checking in and whatnot. Between him and Ivy, though, I'm nearly driven crazy." A shy smile appeared on the woman's face, she herself remembering the various antics of the two, together or on their own.
The hospital came more quickly than Alice had anticipated, with Brent quickly getting out of the car and Roy following, the two men helping Charlotte out of the vehicle and into the hospital while Alice rounded up the gaggle of Lauden children and guided them in that general direction as well.
Charlotte was swept away in a rush, Brent briefly thanking Alice for watching the children before running after her and the doctors who were taking his wife away. Brianna began crying as she heard her mother scream over and over in pain, starting to run after her parents before Alice grabbed her.
"B-but, Aunty A, something's w-wrong with Mommy!" the girl wailed, and Alice's heart broke at the little girl's sobs. With Luke on one hip, Alice grabbed Brianna's hand and led her back to one of the couches in the lobby.
Alice pulled the little girl close to her in a comforting hug and cooed to the little girl. "Shh...Brianna...It's okay. Mommy will be okay. Everything's alright, sweetheart. And you know what? You'll get a new brother or sister when Mommy's done. Won't that be fun?"
The little girl sniffed and looked up at her aunt. "It better be a girl."
Alice couldn't help but laugh at the little girl and Roy chuckled softly. "Now, now, Bri. You'll love the baby even if it is a boy. You'll love it as much as you love Luke." The little boy gurgled at the sound of his name.
"I guess," she replied wiping her eyes, "But I'd love a sister more..." Alice let out a little giggle and seated the little girl next to her.
"I'm sorry this had to happen," Alice turned to Roy. "You don't have to stay, Roy. I know you have work tomorrow. And I'm sure that sitting in a waiting room isn't exactly on the top of your list of things to do on a Thursday night."
Roy smirked kindly. "While that may be true, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I just left you here?" He winked.
Alice blushed slightly before mumbling, "A smart one?"
He chuckled, and said, "I'm a lot of things, but no deserter, dear Alice."
Alice smiled as the man gave her a kiss on the forehead, and while Brianna busied herself with a doll, Luke fell straight asleep. Never before had Alice been so happy that Charlotte had entirely low maintenance children; Charlotte had much going for her, and she had been blessed with much. Her parenting skills were not to be scoffed at, considering Brent was often more another child than a spouse.
A flash of worry ran through Alice, and she locked up briefly. The pianist quickly did a run-through of any hereditary problems that ran in the family (entirely unwarranted, due to the fact that Charlotte had already had two children), checking to make sure there were no clotting disorders or anything. Roy watched in slight amusement as the gears began whirring in the woman's head, and Alice began checking things off in a mental list.
Once entirely satisfied that Charlotte's genetic structure was sound, Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Roy leaned his head back, closing his eyes for a moment. Alice blinked, once again remarking that he really could leave if he wanted to.
Roy only chuckled in response. "It's really fine. I'm not going anywhere. If I can't wait for someone else to give birth, I'd be in quite a bind when our little guy is born." He put an hand on Alice's flat stomach and did his best to make a fatherly facial expression.
Alice lightly slapped Roy's cheek. "No one likes a smart aleck," she said with a smile.
"I disagree. You fell for me, didn't you?" He winked and withdrew his hand. Alice blushed lightly as Roy rested an arm on the couch's back, behind Alice. "Just relax, Alice. I'm not going anywhere and Charlotte will be fine. Sit back and relax."
Alice obeyed reluctantly. There was just so much to worry about, but she decided to listen to the colonel. "I feel a bit silly for being so worried. Childbirth may seem like nothing compared to what you probably saw in Ishbal..." Alice didn't think before she spoke and Roy immediately tensed up. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry."
Roy glanced at the woman and feigned a smile intended to reassure her. She didn't fall for his attempt at a smile. His eyes were too dark with bad memories and regret. "No, it's fine. And childbirth is nothing like what happened in Ishbal. Childbirth results in something other than death and destruction." Roy had a faraway look in his eyes as he stared at the shiny floor.
"I still shouldn't have brought it up..."
Roy's only response was to stay silent; Alice stared down at the ground before quietly saying, "You really can leave, if you want. I'm not brilliant, but I'm smart enough to know when I've triggered the wrong nerve."
The man didn't meet her eyes, instead focusing on a point located on the far wall. "A lot of things happened back then. Things I'm not comfortable talking about. You kill a man once, and after that you aren't the same, Alice."
Alice's gaze never left the floor; clearly there was a lot to him that she'd never even bothered to figure out. "I know... that I may not be the most ideal person to talk to. And I know men are odd about talking about things. But I'm always here should you wish to unload on someone. There aren't many things I'm good at, but I can always listen." Her cheeks turned red at the thought; he was probably mad at her. The last thing Roy would want to do was talk about his problems when she had so unscrupulously brought them up...
Alice started in, intending to apologize again, when Brianna exclaimed that she was practically dying of thirst. The girl started off in the direction of the hospital cafeteria, and without a thought, Alice set Luke down on the couch where they had been sitting as she and Roy got to their feet. In a span of three seconds, the pianist had wrapped her arms around the man, still in military blue, and with her head buried in his chest, she mumbled over and over again that she was sorry.
Roy gave the woman a soft smile, one she couldn't see, and hugged back before Brianna once again began saying how she was literally dying, she was so thirsty. Alice re-picked up Luke, and they four set off.
"It's really okay, Alice. Don't stress over it. You just surprised me." His last words were said with a chuckle, and he placed a kiss in her hair.
Brianna finally quieted down after Roy treated her to hot chocolate and coffee for himself and Alice. "Thank you, Uncle Roy," the little girl said, chocolate covering her lip.
Roy smiled slightly. "You're welcome, kiddo."
"Yes, thank you," Alice added as she sipped the warm liquid. The four had managed to grab a small table in the cafeteria with a booster seat for Luke.
"Aunty Alice? Do you think Mommy's okay?"
"Of course, sweetheart. I'm sure she's fine," Alice replied with a small smile.
"Why hasn't my sister been born yet?" the little girl asked impatiently.
"Brianna, don't be disappointed if it's a boy, okay? And it takes a long time for a baby to be born."
"Why?"
"It just does."
The little girl looked over to the colonel and asked bluntly, "Uncle Roy? Where do babies come from anyway?"
Roy quickly swallowed his coffee before he could burst out into a hearty laugh. "Wh-What was that again?"
"Where do babies come from?" she asked again, eyes wide with innocence.
After another chuckling fit, Roy stopped and made a serious face. "I'm not sure if I can tell you that, Brianna. It's a top military secret, after all..."
The girl's eyes widened. "It is?"
"Of course! So naturally, I can't tell anyone. You understand, don't you?" he sent a wink Alice's way and she sighed with relief. The little girl nodded eagerly and went back to sipping her hot chocolate.
Hours passed and there was still no word of Charlotte or the baby. Luke had fallen asleep in Alice's arms and Brianna's head rested in her aunt's lap as she slept. Alice yawned. "You know you don't have to stay, Roy. It's getting late."
Roy smiled gently and put his arm around the pianist. "I'm fine. I can't leave you alone in this state anyway."
"What state?" she yawned again, but more deeply this time.
"The state of unconsciousness," he replied quietly with a small smirk. It wasn't long before Alice, too, nodded off snuggled up to Roy with her head resting on his shoulder. The colonel smiled down at the small woman and her niece and nephew. All this happened because of a bet. Though Havoc still owed him the money, Roy was content with this reward. He planted a kiss softly on the pianist's forehead and closed his eyes briefly.
"Hey, Roy." Roy felt a large hand shaking his shoulder slightly. "Roy!"
"Huh?" he said sleepily. His eyes opened to find Brent standing in front of him. "Oh. How'd it go?"
"It went fine. Charlotte is resting now. I'm the proud father of twins!" he said excitedly. He stooped down and plucked Luke from Alice's arms and lifted Brianna from her lap. Brianna only made a small noise of discomfort before she drifted back off to sleep.
"Twins?" Roy asked, surprised.
"A boy and a girl." Brent smiled widely despite the bags under his eyes. "They're a bit small, but they're healthy."
"Congratulations, Brent," Roy said with a small smile.
"Thanks." He turned to leave before stopping. "Oh! I almost forgot! We may want to wake Alice up to hear her new niece and nephew's names."
Roy looked down at the sleeping woman. She looked so peaceful... "Would it be possible for me to just relay the information to her when she wakes up?" Roy asked; he didn't want to wake Alice unless absolutely necessary. Besides, it wasn't every day that she would let him be that close to her.
Brent smiled knowingly. "Well, the boy's name is Alister Roy and my little girl's name is Roya Jean-Alice."
Roy couldn't help but smirk at Charlotte and Brent's name choice. "Charlotte said she wanted to name the twins after her sister and soon-to-be-brother-in-law," Brent explained with a wink.
Roy's eyes widened before reverting to their natural state. "I sincerely hope you don't regret naming your children that..."
Brent cocked an eyebrow.
"Don't give us a reason to, Roy. She likes you. A lot. And, as you know..." Brent's eyes softened as he focused on a sleeping Alice. "She isn't exactly the type to get attached to people. So be careful with her, Roy."
Brent went off again, back to his wife, taking Luke and Brianna with him. With Alice still asleep on his shoulder, Roy asked one of the people running the counter to bring him the phone. When the woman complied, he rang a number from memory.
"Chief? What the hell do you want? It's one in the morning..."
"I won't be at work tomorrow, Havoc. I've got... a prior engagement."
"Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Just, goddamnit, call in the morning next time..."
Roy Mustang hung up the phone, giving it back to the woman before falling asleep with his Alice leaning on his shoulder.