The Stink that Binds ch4
A/n: Sorry for the between RL and storms knocking out my internet I haven't been able to post.
But, I'll try and get 2 chapters out tonight.
Now, I know that a few of you have been a bit squimish about this one...please know that it's all tongue in cheek. And really haven't we ALL known a guy like this?
And, yes, he KNOWS that he stinks but he thinks that he's able to hide it. AND, YES, he has IBS...amongst other issues that most typical males have, LOL. This has been a bit...um enhanced...and I fully 100% blame Mamadog93 for that fact;) She requested...a COMPLETELY IMPERFECT yet still perfect Edward;) So, I granted her request because I love her long time.
Thanks to my team, Bnjwl, Lvtwilight09, Reyes139 and Twistar Junkie. They either laughed, balked or ewwwed at me;)
ENJOY!
We pulled up to the Convention center where the Benefit was being held and the valet attendant coughed loudly as he got into our wretched dead cat smelling vehicle.
I pitied him.
His ass may reek after he got out of the car. That's why I refused to drive Edward's car. Like ever.
"You look ravishing tonight, my love." Edward said as he came around to escort me into the building.
"Thank you, Edward." I said as we walked into the building overflowing with people and noise.
My husband was the perfect specimen of a professional doctor while being a charming and friendly member of the committee for the hospital board. People milled around us all night long like Edward shit gold or had rose smelling poop.
I was beyond exhausted as we waited for the valet to return our car a few hours later. I just wanted to get home, take a hot bath and go to bed. But, I had a plan to follow through with.
Not even two minutes into the car ride, Edward began to let them rip and I just about threw up in the car from the fumes.
"Edward?" I exclaimed as I lowered the window to get some fresh air.
"Yes, dear," he asked just as a burped escaped his mouth.
I sighed and shook my head as the scenery flew by as we drove towards home.
"Oh, I um, have a little surprise for you when we get home." I said as we stopped at a red light.
"A good surprise?" he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
I smiled as much as I could when I heard his stomach begin to gurgle. That was a tell-tale sign that he'd be in the bathroom for at least forty-five minutes once we made it home.
"You'll just have to wait and see." I finally said as I sat back in my seat.
Little did he know that aside from the mass of candles, the industrial sized freshners and heavy detergent that I used to wash out his skid-marked undies were the least of his problems…my little hidden camera was about to show him a whole lot more.
A/n: Another chapter coming soon;)
Kyla