A/N: ...so this has been written for like two months. And we haven't updated because... we're sorta dumb... andweforgotwewroteit. :/ There's not a lot here, because it's a filler chapter, but... with luck, another chapter will be out tonight? Maybe two? If you love us? BECAUSE WE CRAVE YOUR APPROVAL, DAMN IT. Or your reviews. Reviews work just as well. :)

Special thanks to our reviewers: Lady Skorpio (We are so very, very glad that you enjoyed it. This one has many funnies in it as well.) And chocolvr69 (We missed you too! We won't tell you the ending, but your *hint hint* may or may not be on the right track... I'm not going to tell you. Because I'm mean. Yes. XD)

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist? 'Ent ours. We've been gone a long time, but not long enough for you to forget that, right?

Jean Havoc walked into the office the next Monday with a large grin plastered on his face. Roy shot the now-redhead a questioning look. "I, Jean Havoc, got laid," he announced proudly with a stupid grin. Falman, Breda, and Fuery clapped in awe as Havoc struck a pose.

Roy smirked as he put down his newspaper. "No way; so did I...six times." His team clapped more vigorously as Havoc tried not to weep. Roy sniggered. "Sorry. Didn't mean to rain on your parade or anything. I just was trying to make conversation."

Jean Havoc's ego shattered successfully, Roy leaned back in his chair, feet resting on his desk. A disapproving sigh from Riza was the only reprimand he received, and Roy chuckled appreciatively before closing his eyes and proceeding not to do any of the paperwork that was waiting for him. He thought back to only two nights before, after he and Alice had made their way home, a smirk planted firmly on his face as he remembered every detail.

Her skin had been cool to the touch from the winter chill outdoors, and Roy had taken it upon himself to warm it up. Alice didn't resist. Though, he thought with a smirk, she was usually the one who implied such things nowadays. It wasn't until Roy held his lover against his bare chest, slick with sweat, that he noticed that something was off. "What's wrong, my Alice? Was I just too good for you to handle this time?" he asked her quietly, the low vibration of his voice in her ear making her squirm slightly.

She closed her eyes as if trying to block something out. "No. I mean, yes. Erm...uh..." She searched for the right words. She wasn't planning on telling him this now, if ever. It just wasn't something that he should know; ever.

As she bit her lip in contemplation, Roy's eyes grew wide. "You don't mean...?"

"Huh?"

"You're...You're," he put his hand on Alice's bare stomach almost hesitantly. "I'm going to be a father..."

Alice's eyes got wide and she sat bolt upright, startling Roy. "WHAT?"

"Calm down, Alice. Remember the last time a pregnant woman got stressed?"

"What the hell? I'm not pregnant, Roy!"

He looked at her skeptically. "Right...And I'm not going to be fuhrer." She glared at him. "Fine, then what is it?"

"...nothing." Alice's eyes cut away. "Seriously. Don't worry about it." Roy's eyebrows raised, clearly suspicious of his lover's quietness, though he said nothing. Alice didn't really know what to say. "It's just, it's extremely difficult to do this when all I can think of is you with that ridiculous hair color that Jean has dyed his hair."

Roy's eyes widened. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying, if you ever dye your hair that carroty-orange, we're going to have a problem. I don't care if it gets Ivy to have sex with him; that terrible color will not get youlaid."

Roy almost pouted. He wasn't going to dye his hair anytime soon, or at all if he could help it, but this statement still bothered him. "Are you saying that I'm only sexy if I have black hair, Alice?" he accused.

"What? It's not like that, exactly..."

"Then what is it like?" he demanded. Alice didn't understand why he was so upset about this. It was only two little sentences. Why was he behaving so callously towards her for two sentences.

"Roy, let's just face it, you couldn't pull off any other hair color. And I wouldn't want you to. All I'm saying is that I like your hair just the way it is." Roy was still annoyed as he flipped over so his back was to his girlfriend. "Roy," Alice pleaded, "Roy don't act like this. You're acting like a child." Roy responded by flipping back towards her only long enough to stick his tongue out at her. "Roy, darling," she cooed with just a speckle of sarcasm in her voice as she hugged him from behind, "You're not really mad, are you?"

Roy had to stop his eyes from widening. This was not the shy piano teacher he knew. This was not what he had been expecting - not at all. And, quite frankly, he liked it. Needless to say, the game was back on.

"So, to sum things up, Havoc, I don't care if you got laid last night. I had plenty to keep me busy, and I've got much to think about myself, so you may as well get back to your menial duties while still trying to keep Ivy to yourself. Your sister," Roy flippantly laid on the sarcasm, "has been surprisingly good to me in ways that I hadn't even begun to imagine she could be." Roy had to chuckle at the look on his subordinates face, and he shrugged, even as Riza rolled her eyes.

"Don't you have paperwork to do, with all due respect, sir?" The blonde woman asked, sighing.

"Probably. Has that ever made me do it before, Lieutenant?"

Roy got home a bit later than usual that night, mostly because he still had yet to sign all the paperwork he had been assigned. He walked into his house to find Alice playing piano quietly. He hung up his coat before coming up behind the pianist. After all that time, he was still amazed by how the woman's thin fingers could manage to make such beautiful music.

He remembered fondly a few months before when Alice had tried to teach him how to play a song. As he suspected, he was horrible with the instrument. He kept hitting the wrong notes in the wrong places and would get frustrated. But somehow, Alice had stayed positive throughout the whole process; well, until Roy threatened to burn the piano to a crisp in his impatience. After that, Alice decided that the Flame Alchemist wasn't suited to play such an elegant instrument, lest it be charred the minute he made a mistake. She preferred keeping the piano intact to having a musically competent boyfriend, thanks.