Again, I own nothing.

The Golden Hall

(Éomer is riding through town on his way to the Golden Hall. All around him are the townsfolk going about their daily business but also several large Uruk-hai who appear to be acting like excited teens, running around, bothering people and generally being a nuisance.)

Éomer: What in the….? (shakes his head and spurs his horse on, dismounting at the steps and heading up to greet his sister)

Éowyn: Éomer! You've returned!

Éomer: Yup. What's going on in th-

Éowyn: (looks around) Where's Théodred?

Éomer: Who?

Éowyn: (grim faced, she crosses her arms and taps one foot) Théodred? Our cousin? The one you were supposed to go find?

Éomer: (fidgets) Um… he's doin' good.

Uruk-Hai: (runs by laughing and carrying a shield with Théodred's crest on it)

Éowyn: He's "doin' good" is he?

Éomer: Okay fine! So I went out riding with the guys instead but I still got rid of the creepy old men who were raiding the towns out there!

Éowyn: (raises one eyebrow)

Éomer: (hangs his head) Okay… they forgot why they were there and wandered off…

Éowyn: That's better. Now come in here and explain yourself to Uncle.

Éomer: Aww… (follows Éowyn into the Hall.)

(The large room is dimly lit, the torches sending a feeble flickering light across the stone Hall. At the head of the room, King Theoden sits in his throne, wrapped in a warm fur cloak and looking "wizened beyond his years" and tattered banners bearing the symbol of Rohan hang limply from their poles.)

Éowyn: (approaches the king and kneels in front of him, taking his hand) My Lord? Are you feeling any better today?

Theoden: (mumbles) …n'ly Tuesday… s'muffin day.

Éomer: Um… Uncle? I kinda left cousin Théodred out there on his own… you don't mind do y- (he's cut off as a small group of Uruks push past, laughing and joking. Éomer stares after them, utterly confused)

Theoden: Y'did wha? T'who?

Éowyn: Your son, my lord! He's probably dead!

Theoden: (leans toward Éomer and says in a loud whisper) She's a little off… (pointing at Éowyn)

Éomer: …. Is he okay?

Éowyn: (sighs) Does he look okay to you?

Éomer: (holds up hands defensively) Just asking!

(Another band of Uruks wander by, one bumping into Éomer and muttering an apology before continuing to munch on the chicken leg he seems to have stolen from the kitchens)

Éomer: And what the heck are these things doing here? I thought we agreed before I left that we were going to defend Edoras, not make it a tourist attraction!

Theoden: (looks confused and turns to Grima who moves forward out of the shadows beside the throne)

Grima: I believe your exact words were, "Watch out for the Uruks while I'm gone." (gestures to several Uruks in the room who wave back amiably) And as you can see, we are watching them very closely.

Theoden: (looks satisfied and mutters) Not a problem, not a problem…

Éomer: Not a problem? They're everywhere!

Grima: How do you even know they're evil, hmmm?

Uruk: (wanders up holding a paper and quill and looking perplexed) Um… how do you spell "Rohan is ready to be attacked, come anytime"?

Éomer: (stares in utter disbelief)

Uruk: (squirms under the prince's baffled gaze) S-Saruman wants a report so…

Grima: Here. (he takes the uruk aside and very carefully shows it how to write the desired words)

Éomer: É-Éowyn, are you seeing this? (pointing to Grima)

Éowyn: I told you you should've come back sooner.

Éomer: You didn't tell me we were practically begging Saruman to destroy us all! (turns to Grima who is moving back to toward the throne, the Uruk marching off happily to mail his letter) What are you getting out of this, huh?

Grima: Uh… (glances at Éowyn) nothing.

Éomer: (crosses his arms and raises a cynical eyebrow) Oh… right, like she would ever marry you.

Grima: (sputters for a moment, at a loss for words before waving some Uruks over) By the power granted me by the King, I banish you Éomer, son of Éomund for… um… for wearing your shoes indoors on a Monday!

Theoden: (begins to giggle)

Éomer: (struggles against the Uruks who pull him out of the hall.)

Éowyn: Uncle! Your nephew has just been banished! Why on earth are you laughing?

Theoden: (still giggling) H-He said shoes!

Éowyn: (sighs)