Chapter 5: Home Mates 5
(Man, my updates are all out of whack. Sorry guys, it's a bit difficult to write when I'm busy all the time. :/)
Gilbert lowered his arm from his face and looked at me. I looked back at him, scratching at my hair awkwardly. He sniffed softly and wiped his tears away with his hands. He sat up slightly, and was quiet for a moment, when suddenly he began to laugh loudly. It was almost as though he couldn't help himself, he was just laughing and laughing, even holding his stomach! He fell back and laughed till tears formed at the rims of his eyes. I tried to laugh too but it only came out as an awkward, forced sound from the bottom of my throat. I didn't know what he was laughing about, but I tried to play along anyways.
"Come'ere you twerp!" Gilbert yelled, smiling.
He grabbed me by the shoulders, and put me in a headlock, before giving me a friendly noogie. He patted the top of my head a bit roughly. I was still confused as ever.
"You're such a doofus." He finished saying as he sighed out catching his breath from crying and laughing.
I blinked and tried to look at him from the awkward position I was in, still under his arm.
"Huh? What's so funny? I don't get it!" I yammered and protested, confused.
Boys are so weird. I thought to myself. They cry, they laugh, then they give you noogies, then they bounce right back up from the grave! It's like they PMS 24/7. Shisas, talk about hormonal imbalances. It's no different than being friends with girls when it comes to hormones, and trash talk. Oh yes, men/boys do indeed trash talk. More than one might think…
"Nothing's funny. It's just…you're…just an awesome bro." He sighed. He finally let go of me and gave one last hearty chuckle before patting his stomach, satisfied with the laugh he gave himself.
I blinked, and nodded slowly, not really sure how to respond.
"Are you sure it's okay if I stayed here?" He asked again, suddenly a tad more serious. "I mean, you did say you're folks were in a bit of drama, and, adding me to the equation will probably make matters worse. I'm rather troublesome to deal with." Gilbert frowned. I frowned too before reassuring him.
"Don't be dumb, dumb-dumbs! My parents love you already, and if we tell them the story I'm sure they'll understand!" I said it confidently, maybe he'd be a little more hopeful.
He sniffed. "Thanks. When…when do you think I could start staying over?" I tilted my head in thought for a moment before answering.
"Well, you can sleep over tonight and I'll talk to my mom in the morning, and see what she says. It'd be best if we started sooner than later. I mean, after an argument like that, things could get REAL ugly." I wore a worried expression on my face. I didn't even want to think about his father, and the temper that came with him.
"Yeah, you're probably right." He sighed out. We both shared the same depressed look, carving its misery deeply into our features.
Gilbert knew his dad's temper all too well. He probably didn't want to think about it much more.
"What are we going to tell Ludwig? I mean, he's STILL your brother and he loves you very much." I questioned. "He treats you with a lot of respect and everything! He'll probably be really upset or something."
Gilbert shrugged, "He can handle it. Ludwig and I are brothers and we love each other and everything, but we aren't attached to each other too much, or at least not anymore. Ludwig knows that all the decisions I make are because I have to make them, and he won't fight them or ask why I decided to make them. He knows I'm irresponsible, and that I suck at math, but I'm not STUPID. He'll be cool. We'll still hang out, and have our brotherly moments, but I just need to get the fuck out of that house. I hate it there." He growled at the end, but I relented and agreed.
I nodded. "Okay, as long as you're okay with it, and there won't be any drama then—"
"No drama?" He interrupted me, a huge, familiar smirk spreading over his lips. "Are you kidding? There will be shit loads of drama." He laughed quietly.
"Damn, are you serious?" I asked. Fuck. " That sucks ass! And to think, your dad would have liked you out of the house!" I sighed again, flinging myself back against my pillows. "Your dad is confusing. I don't get him." I whined.
Gilbert scratched his head and scrunched his nose slightly, "Yeah, but I kinda know why he doesn't want me to leave."
Gilbert tilted his head to the side to look at me. "If I ran away from home or moved out before I did anything noteworthy, or before I became even a little bit of something other than my fuckin' self, then my dad would have failed as a dumb father." He explained. "It would ruin his title of being the 'perfect husband and father'. All of my parents' friends look up to my dad for that stupid perfectness he has. So, if I leave, and people find out about it, he won't be so special or noble anymore. I mean, I sure as fuckin' hell wouldn't look up to that guy in the first place. I wouldn't even give him a sideways glace, but everyone else does. People just don't see the real side of other people until they get treated poorly themselves or something stupid like that. I see the real side of him, and I hate him. I HATE him."
I can honestly say I've never been through something like this. I love my parents, and I love the home that I live in. I love my school, my teachers, and all my friends too. Why would I have any reason to hate any of that stuff? My mom tells me that you should never, ever "hate" anyone or anything, because that's how wars and problems start. You may dislike people, or things, but to hate is on an entirely new level. I had never really seen anybody hate someone else either. Now that I have, it…it makes me sad. It makes the world seem just a little bit darker, now that I've seen what it's like. It's like a mask. It's locking away all of the happy feelings of the world. And sometimes it sticks there even when no one wants it, and all that you can see anymore is hate.
Although Gilbert wore a mask of hate towards his father, what he said made a lot of sense, in its own cruel way. You can pretend to be whoever you want to be, and trick who ever you want to trick, but someone will always get hurt in the end. No one can really hide who he or she is. A bit like me, actually. I'm a girl, but I look, act, and sometimes even sound like a boy. I hurt so many people pretending to be something that I'm not, but I can't stop. I've already sunken too deep under the waves to be able to haul myself back out. The boy that all those girls crush on, that is friends with Gilbert and Feli and Ludwig… that's the side of me that other people see. No one sees the girl I could be, the girl that wears cute shirts and skirts, that texts her girlfriends all day long, and drools over boys she sees in class. Even I haven't seen that side of myself. Maybe I don't want to see it.
Realizing we had been silent for a while, I cut off my train of thought and rejoined the present.
"Well, in any case, we should get back down stairs. Ludwig and Feli are still here and I'm the host. They're probably wondering what we're doing." I said, sighing. I quickly sat up, getting ready to head back downstairs.
"Oh, yeah, sure." He sat up too, and slid off of my bed, stretching.
"Hey, Gilbert?" I said softly as I slid off of the bed too.
"Yeah, what's up, bro?" He said, turning around again.
I flinched at the term 'bro'. I guess I hadn't cut off that train of thought as well as I first thought. Shuffling my feet, I voiced my concern.
"Do…you think I'm like your dad?" His eyes widened in shock.
"What the fu- NO. Why? You're nothing like my dad, and, actually, he's like, an alien compared to you." He spoke about him bitterly, and I guess he looked sort of confused about why I had even asked in the first place.
"No…I mean…because, well, your dad pretends to be a perfect husband, and everything you talked about… but he really isn't. With me, I pretend to be a guy, who hangs out with other guys, and hits on girls just for fun, and everything. I trick everyone into thinking that I'm something I'm not….so….wouldn't that make me a liar like your dad?" My voice was quieter than usual, and I felt pretty guilty for not realizing sooner how similar both our actions were. I was a bit startled by his response.
"FUCK NO. Listen dud- I mean, Rowan. My dad tricks people, because he's a jackass, and doesn't want to face all his goddamn sins or whatever. You, you just like what guys like." Gilbert' hands matched his words, flying all over, as if to help him get the point across. "You're not tricking anybody! Besides, when people mistake you for a boy, and you play along, it's because you…just…don't want those people to feel embarrassed! You pretend to be a boy for THEM. I mean, if you want to be a boy that's cool with me. I don't care. As long as you're comfortable, and happy, all of your friends are cool with whatever you're cool with. You get me?"
Slowly I nodded, and then I walked over to hug it out.
"Dude, don't start thinking all those sad thoughts." He scolded me. "You're fucking cool. Alright? You're cool, and we're cool." Gilbert chuckled, and gave me a big-bro-to-little-bro-pat on the back.
"Alright. Cool." I replied, and we went out the door, Gilbert first, myself last, so I closed the door behind me.
"Hey! Where have you guys been? You've been gone for like, twenty minutes!" Feli asked curiously when we came back down.
"We were upstairs talking about something." I answered him.
Gilbert didn't say anything. Feli gave us suspicious looks; as if we had done something illegal.
"…You guys had sex didn't you?" He finally said.
Both Gilbert and I gaped. Ludwig face palmed, and bonked Feli on the head harder than he had ever bonked him before. Gilbert and I both immediately moved away from one another, not eager to be too close after a statement like that.
"I can't even imagine him getting to first base with me." I muttered, my stomach flipping all over the place.
"Ughh…." Gilbert moaned, and held his crotch as he sat in the love seat. He started kicking the air as if he was trying to get Feli away from him.
Feli was whining and crying from Ludwig hitting him so hard, but he just rolled his eyes, and bonked him on the head again for being an idiot. I shook my head.
"WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING. GOSH! WE SERIOUSLY WERE JUST TALKING. Drop it, or I'll drop you!" I roughly spoke out, irritated at all those weird pictures forming in my head.
I sat in the other love seat and motioned for Ludwig to pass me the remote. He tossed it and I changed the channel to National Geographic. We all sat watching a two hour-long episode on pandas. From time to time, one of us would make a smart remark on mating season or something stupid like that. I squealed every time I saw a panda. And considering it was a show ON Pandas… as you can imagine, that's a lot of squealing.
"Hey~ Hey~ Hey~" Feli whispered, trying to grab my attention. I leaned over to whisper back to him.
"What?" My eyes were still glued to the screen, and I wasn't really paying attention to him very much.
"Tell the truth~ Did you have sseexx?" Feli whispered, trying to emphasize the word 'sex'.
"WHAT? NO!" I whisper-screeched, before glaring at him and pushing his face away. "Now stop asking! Gosh! We're friends! Why would you think that, dammit?"
Feli pouted, crossing his arms over his tiny little chest. "Because you need a lover. Everyone has one except you and Gilbert, so this entire time everyone in our group has been kinda picturing you two as a pair. I mean what else are we supposed to think?"
"WHAT? This is the first time I have heard of this!" I harshly whispered, shocked and rather hurt that people are pairing me up with someone who was SUPPOSED to be a friend and brother to me.
"Of course it is! We all knew you'd get mad~" He giggled. "But since it seemed like you two were getting it on, I figured I should tell you." He then shrugged.
"Does Gilbert know?" I asked, giving the boy a glance. But he was just staring at the Pandas.
Feli shook his head, smiling like a ditz. "Nope! He's just as clueless as you were!"
I sighed. "Feliciano… I'm… I'm not really in the mood to play 'Don't Tell Anybody'." The spazzy Italian frowned, but seemed to cheer up quickly enough.
"Awww! But that causes drama, and drama is so much fun!" Feli squealed, gripping the sleeves of his shirt, which I noticed, was a bit too big for him. I could just imagine myself with a dark forehead, and blue lines that hung over me in distress.
"No. I already feel like drama is heading our way. I mean… drama pops up now, and then, and it hasn't been around lately so something tells me it's overdue."
"Ooo! I can't wait for it to come! It'll get my blood pumpin'!" Feli squealed again.
Damn Italians, and their soap operas! It also doesn't help if they read fanfictions as much as Feli does. Damn him!
I sighed and sat back in my chair, only now I felt really uncomfortable any way I sat. I sighed heavily, and finally ended up standing up to stretch.
"Tired already?" Ludwig questioned, looking up at me.
"Huh? Yeah…. A bit. I'm just gunna go get a drink, I'll be right back." I replied before lazily walking to the kitchen to get some cranberry juice.
I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes just drinking glass after glass of cranberry juice until my mouth felt weird from the bitterness of it. Gilbert and I are paired? That's so stupid. I thought. We're brothers. Besides, I'm not Gilbert's type anyway. I thought about Gilbert's type, and just made myself laugh. He liked the busty women who were tough, and exotic. He has those fetishes for Latina accents, and brown, smooth skin. His type would be like that girl from the Italian restaurant earlier today or the engineer in The Lost City of Atlantis (a great Disney movie by the way!). I wasn't in any of those categories. I had a Romanian accent and fairly brown skin, but not that darkish tint most Latinos had. I was mildly toned. I got that from my dad, because he's lighter than my mom, and daughters usually take after their dad, or so I hear. On top of that… I'm nowhere near being "busty" from any angle. I'm pretty flat everywhere, but my mom says I'll have an amazing butt one day. In the old country, they say that Romanian butts bloom late, which is great for your twenties… WHICH IS QUITE DISTURBING!
I shook my head. Nope, Gilbert isn't my type either. I mean…he's practically my brother! Besides, he doesn't have ANY of the personality requirements I want in a guy besides the fact that he's nice. Well, nice to me at least. I thought about that to. If I remember what I told Mr. Dessiner, it was something like 'A nice, warm smile that would make me smile too. He would have eyes that were soft and playful. A gentle human being who was very passionate about the things he liked. He would be kind, too.' I'd have to say that Gilbert, although I love him to death, is not really…like that. I began to think about what he would look like. Of course, I'm not making plans to search out for a guy just like how I pictured it, but just out of curiosity I'd like to know how my brain would like my guy to look like.
In the end, I just wound up giggling at all the different types of looks I came up with. I nearly squealed when I added a bit of a Johnny Depp goatee to the picture, but I had to get my head out of the clouds. Walking back to living room, the program was over and Feli was yawning tiredly as he rested his head on Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig had his eyes closed, and was sitting up straight, as if he was pretending to be a statue. If not for the breathing, or slight twitch of his eyelid because he was tired too, one might have sworn he was a mannequin.
"You guys look tired, you two should head home." I said as I sat in my chair. My belly was filled with delicious cranberry juice and images of "my type" were still floating around my skull.
"Would it be okay with you if we left?" Ludwig asked, lifting his hand to stifle a yawn.
"Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I don't want you driving tired. That's dangerous, dude." I spoke patting my belly, poking at my belly button through my shirt for no reason at all.
He nodded in approval, and helped Feli up, holding his hand to lead him so he didn't bump into things.
Ludwig looked at Gilbert with eyes that questioned what Gilbert was going to do if he wasn't going with them. Gilbert answered him with a look of his own, and then waved him off. Ludwig looked back at me, and I merely smiled, waving, and then I got up from my seat to say my goodbyes at the door. Ludwig seemed to have somewhat of an idea as to what was going on, and left without another word. It was kind of cool that Ludwig could read faces so well; it proved to be helpful in situations like these. It would have been hard, and most likely painful for everyone if we had to break the news through words, even if Ludwig was a strong guy. I waved goodbye one last time, and then locked the door. I sighed and walked back to my seat, plopping my butt into the chair as a thick silence filled the room.
Then, looking at the flower patterned curtains, and then to one of the medium sized living room panels, I contemplated telling Gilbert. I began to say so in a rather unsure tone, knowing it would be unfair not to tell him.
"Did you know people are pairing—?" I closed my mouth, deciding it probably wasn't best to say anything yet.
It was our first night as home-mates, and I didn't want to make it awkward. Of course, it shouldn't be awkward in the first place because we're bros, but we're humans, and I'm still a girl, and he's a boy. I don't know why it turns out that way, but it does. It's like that saying 'Women and Men could never be just friends', from When Harry Met Sally. Billy Crystal was definitely right about that. I mean, at some point, you'd think about dating the guy/girl you were friends with. It's never a true friend relationship like you'd have with your same sex. You only stay friends if you know that it won't work out, but you still like each other's company. You've tried each other out, and have contemplated the chance of there being an "us". You both aren't friends-friends; you're just the aftermath of something that didn't work out. Of course, that definitely IS NOT a bad thing! I mean, at some point I thought that maybe there was an "us" between me and Ludwig or Gilbert, but after awhile I figured out it would never work. I never hit on either one or anything; it was just something that I thought to myself for a little while when we first became friends a few years back.
"Huh? Did I know people are pairing...?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to finish my sentence.
"N-Nevermind. It's not even important or anything."
"Oh. Okay, whatever." Gilbert muttered as he changed the channel to Cartoon Network, waiting for Adult Swim to come on.
I sighed and continued to poke my belly button when I suddenly jerked up.
"Oh! I forgot!"
"What?" Gilbert asked, a bit curious from my sudden outburst.
I ran for the hall leading to the stairs, and nearly fell and slipped on the hard floors in my haste to race up them.
"What did you forget?" Gilbert questioned again raising his voice as to be heard.
"I forgot to answer my pen pal! She must've answered me by now! I would have answered it sooner but someone followed me upstairs!" I yelled back, my voice echoing slightly down the stairs, and through the small hall into the living room.
In my bedroom, I slid into my computer chair swiftly, nearly tipping it over.
"BAGH!" I shouted, clinging to the thing for dear life, as though I were a cat about to fall into a pool of yucky water.
I sighed as I finally managed to stabilize the chair, eliminating my concern over a big ol' bruise. I pressed the space bar and the screen lit up like a Christmas Tree. As usual, the little grey box with a blue header bounced around my screen very, very slowly, signaling to me that I had mail.
I pouted, just staring at the box moving across the screen, letting my thoughts wander. I had begun to zone out, my thoughts zipping all over the place. Then all the sudden, they collided and left me with white covering my vision. I blinked, sucking up a bit of drool that happened to escape the corner of my mouth. I held my head.
"Beh…. I hate those." I blinked rapidly, trying to rid the remains of all the broken thoughts.
My mailbox opened for me, and I had actually more emails then I was expecting.
"Two from…Kat, one…from…Roderich, and one from…huh? Who's this?" I narrowed my eyes not recognizing the email address. "Well, who ever you are, Mr. MysteriousEmail, you have a funny email address."
I figured, since I had a mystery email from someone I don't recognize, I might as well open that first. Curiosity usually gets the best of me; a horrible habit I have.
From: kawaiiness_desu413
Wat u did 2 our friend yesrday waz like tots unforgivble! I hope u no dat. If I eva sea yo ugly-lolita boy face again, imma beet it so hard dat all it be afterwards iz lumpz! Nuthin but shitass lumps on yo face! Imma kick u were yo angels r, an I'll bee all up in ur dum ass grill. Watch OUT. I'll bee comin' from nowere!
I blinked, not comprehending what I had just read at first glance. If this was a threat, couldn't they have the decency to spell right? I mean, this is just sad. I don't think even my five-year old cousin spells this bad. I write back nonetheless, and felt that this "threatener" needed some assistance with their job.
From: Re: Jeopardywinner1
What you did to our friend yesterday was totally unforgivable! I hope you know that. If I ever see your ugly-lolita, boy face again, I'm going to beat your face so hard, that all it will be afterwards are lumps! Nothing, but shit ass lumps on your face! I'm going to kick you where your "angels" are, and I'll be up in your dumb grill. Watch out; I'll be coming from nowhere.
Next time when you are trying to threaten someone, please spell right. It's rather difficult to comprehend or decipher what you are trying to say when your threat is nothing, but broken, misspelled language. I'll be calling the cops. All though I don't know who YOU are, you are friends with Daniela. So, I hope you can guess who's getting arrested first for threatening me over the Internet like this.
Satisfied with my email, I clicked send and laughed, knowing that whoever this person was, if they were mad before they were gunna be anngrryy now. I shrugged it off after a moment or two. I hardly think that bastard will be threatening me again. I smiled, and continued to look through my mail. Roderich was next. I've always had his email but he's never emailed me before; I didn't even know he had my email address in the first place!
Hi Rowan,
Yeah, it's me, Roderich. I've never necessarily emailed anyone before, but this is rather important. Feliciano told me that you now know that everyone is pairing you with that weirdo Gilbert. I have to say that I NEVER paired you. I swear on my Indian-imported tea set! That is a big swear, young lady. Anyways, as I was saying, you didn't sleep with him right? That's disgusting! I mean, I don't mean to intrude, but I thought you were smarter than that! Now, you'll never get a boyfriend, now that you've touched that hermit's genitals! I do have to ask though…his penis isn't as big as he says right? I mean, five meters is ridiculous! Right?
Your most elegant friend, Roderich.
"AGGGGHHHHH! FELICIANOOOOO! YOU DAMN BASTARD!" I was ready to tear out all my hair and destroy my computer. But instead of doing plan A, and B, I furiously slammed my fingers into the keys on my keyboard.
Roderich,
I can ASSURE you, I didn't do anything with Gilbert! He wouldn't even get to first base with me! We're just good friends! Tell Feliciano I will yank out that curl of his if he tells any more people about this! Or so help me, you'll be missing more than your tea cups! And on top of that, THAT'S GROSS! Why would Gilbert be talking about his sausage like that? Nevermind, don't answer that! But still, I REALLY don't wanna know or hear anything more about a "thing" going on between Gilbert and me. Gross, man. Just gross.
I sighed out and sent the blasted email with a stern finger. Two emails in a row that were rather negative are just too much. I moved onto the next two emails, both from Kat.
"Finally, someone who won't piss me off…" I muttered opening the first of two. Before I could read any of it two new emails had arrived. One was from Antonio, and the other was from "Mr. MysteriousEmailer". I rolled my eyes. Great. Just great.
Hola Rowan!
Guess what I heard from my little tomato, who heard from Ludwig's little tomato! So, you know about the pairing now, huh? Aw, well, don't get your face all sour! You both look cute together! Mi amigo necesito una novia bonita! And I think you're the right person for the job! All you need is a skirt! :D I'm just kidding. You're pretty just the way you are! Hahahaha. Anyways, hopefully you can cope with some more emails coming your way! Feliciano and my little tomato told everyone. I tried to stop them, but they were just so devilishly cute! Hasta la bye-bye! I'm making tomato stew; don't want it to burn!
Tu amigo para todos las dias, Antonio.
I probably slammed my head so hard on my desk I could have gotten a concussion, but no, that would only be doing me a favor.