A/N: So, right now, I need to thank a few people. First, I have to thank Nurse Kate. She was the first persistent follower of my postings, and if I didn't have that first boost of confidence that she gave me just by reading my stories, I probably wouldn't be updating. Second, I need to thank Hummel-Anderson; I have been reading fanfiction since February and she was one of the very first authors I found on this website and remains one of my favorites. When she reviewed this story, I'm not going to lie, I was smiling like an idiot; many times she PMed me and told me to keep writing; times when I probably would've just dropped the story. I need to thank HeartlessRomanticWithoutAPen; your review INSPIRED me; and knowing my writing affected you really touched me. I hope you three are still reading this, it means so much to me that you even started. I also need to thank my two best friends in the whole wide world, Kerrie110 and Shaniamarbles; you have stuck with me through thick and through thin and I love you guys so much. So now, on with the story!

I was broken; shattered. And Kurt said he was going to fix me. I'm not fixable. I'm not lovable. Kurt shouldn't even have to fix me! Look at what he's been through! He needs it more than I do. And how am I, his boyfriend, supposed to fix him if I'm like this? I'm not supposed to; I can't. I'm going to try with all of my might to, but I know I can't.

I was curled up with Kurt (who was fast asleep) on the couch; and for the first time, it hurt to be in Kurt's arms. He was holding me; comforting me; when I SHOULD BE THE ONE comforting him; holding him. So not only does he have to worry about fixing himself, but now he has to worry about fixing me too? And then when he finally fixes himself, he'll put full focus on fixing me when he'll realize he can't. And then he'll leave me, and I'll be left with no one. I'll be nothing but a broken gay teenager.

Carole walked back into the living room, and she saw I was awake.

"How you feeling honey?" She asked, sitting in the recliner across from the couch. I shouldn't lie to Carole, but I needed to be strong.

"I feel better. A lot better. Carole, thank you for everything your family has done for me." I said. All of that wasn't a lie; but I didn't feel better. I felt worse.

"Oh Honey, since you met Kurt you've been A PART of the family. And this is what family does for one another." She said, smiling sympathetically. Her words were like a dagger in my chest; I'm a part of her family she says? I've failed Kurt, someone so precious in her life, and she considers me a part of her family. And then she, along with Kurt, will find out that I can't be fixed. And I will be left to myself. I deserve it anyway; it's not like I've ever done anything for them.

"Thank you Carole, it really means a lot to me that you're here." I said, putting on my best poker face. She obviously bought it.

"No Blaine, thank you. You are a miracle to our family; to Kurt." She said, rising from her chair. Another stab wound to the chest. "You should wake Kurt up, I have breakfast made for everyone in the kitchen. You need to eat; you really didn't eat anything at the hospital with Kurt, so now that you're home, we need to work on this appetite!" she said with a smile. I threw on the best smile I possibly could.

"Alright, I'll slowly wake Kurt up and we'll be out in a minute." I said. Carole came over and planted a friendly kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room.

Food. I didn't want to think about food; it made my stomach churn. I was so hungry; I've been hungry for days. But I can't be caught throwing up; Kurt doesn't need to know about that. I'll find a way to get rid of it, somehow.

I looked at the beautiful boy in my arms. I couldn't help but smile at him; he was so beautiful. Kurt was the most beautiful boy I had ever known, and I really did love him. I loved him more than I loved myself. I felt so guilty for having him all worried about my stupid issues now; Kurt didn't need that. Kurt needed a strong, and independent man who could be there for him, and I am nothing but insecure and weak. Having Kurt in my arms made me so happy, but now, I couldn't help but feel pain when holding him because I knew it was only a matter of time before he realized that there was no hope for me. He could do so much better.

"Kurt. Kurt baby, wake up." I cooed to the boy like I always did.

"Mmmm." He mumbled

"C'mon beautiful, it's time to get up." I said, planting a kiss on his head. He smiled at the touch; my heart broke at it.

"Mmmm 5 more min'tes." He mumbled

"C'mon Kurt, we can take a nap after breakfast if you want to, but Carole made us all of this delicious food and we can't let it get cold on her!" I said. I watch Kurt smile and flutter his eyes open.

"I could see this years from now." Kurt whispered. "Me waking up to your beautiful hazel eyes in New York City. Someday Blaine, I promise. It'll be us."

My heart shattered completely if it hadn't before. Don't make promises you can't keep Kurt.

"I see it too." I said, trying not to seem so distant.

Kurt stretched out his arms before letting his feet touch the ground. He stood up, holding his arms out to me to assist him. I took his hand and rose from the couch. Kurt pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my shoulder blade.

"I love you Blaine, thank you for everything." He whispered.

I felt my heart sink.

"I love you too." I whispered back, trying to keep my voice from wavering. He released me from the embrace and we walked hand in hand into the kitchen.

Whenever I held Kurt's hand, I always felt a spark; a spark of love, happiness and comfort. Now, all I could feel was guilt, sadness, and pain; all of those feelings intensifying when remembering Kurt would leave me one day.

I sat down at the breakfast table; me and Kurt sitting on one end, Burt at the head of the table and Carole and Finn beside him. I looked at Finn, who was studying me intently; probably examining the huge shiner on my eye.

Everyone began to dig into the huge feast we had before us. I carefully took some fruit, and a pancake, but one I ate, I couldn't stop. I kept grabbing more and more fruit, more and more pancakes, more eggs, more toast, more bacon; I must've eaten half of everything she originally placed on the table.

"Wow Blaine, I think you're the only person I know who has eaten more than Finn." Kurt teased, patting my thigh comfortingly. I blushed, knowing this was true. I was disgusted with myself; I must've eaten about 3,000 calories.

"Oh, Blaine honey, Epsom salt is supposed to help with bruising, so you should bathe in warm salt water after breakfast. That stuff works wonders." She said. Pffft. The bruises may fade but scars still haunt my memory.

"Oh, I've never used Epsom salt before. Thanks Carole. I want this all to go away as fast as possible." I said, hiding my pain. Everyone smiled at me, except for Finn, because he had no idea what was going on. I assumed Carole would fill him in on it later.

"Oh, and Kurt, I postponed your therapy appointment with Blaine at the hospital to tomorrow; they totally understood and were willing to change it immediately." She added. He thanked her quietly. Everyone finished up their meals, conversing in light chatter. I only spoke when directly spoken to; otherwise I was left to my thoughts. Everyone was excusing themselves from the table when Carole brought me a small carton

"Here Blaine, this is Epsom salt. Go fill the bathtub with warm water and put some of this in it and then just relax for 15 minutes." She said with a smile.

"Thanks Carole." I said, taking the carton and running up stairs.

I was walking to the bathroom when I was tapped on the shoulder.

"You were awfully quiet at breakfast" The higher voice whispered in my ear

I turned around to face Kurt, who wore an expression of concern on his face.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just really tired." I replied. I wasn't fully lying

"Okay boo, go take a bath and then we can cuddle up and watch a movie, okay?" Kurt said with a smile. I smiled at him, his words scarring my heart.

"Okay." I said. He kissed me chastely on the lips and walked off to his room. I walked down the hallway and into the bathroom, shredding the clothes from my body and turning to the mirror. I looked fat and disgusting; I felt it too. I couldn't puke it back up because someone would hear me. They don't need to worry about that too. I felt panic, worry; I had to get all of these calories out of my body.

I tried to turn my focus to getting my bath ready, filling the tub up with luke warm water. I picked up the carton of Epsom salt and began to read the label; figuring out how much I would put into the tub.

Uses for Epsom Salt:

Relieves minor pain of sprains and bruises

Laxative.

Whoa, what? A laxative? I felt a smirk form on my face. They didn't have to know I was puking, because now, I wouldn't have to puke. I found an old rinsing cup in the bathroom cabinets and filled it with a little bit of water and a lot of Epsom salt. I chugged the mixture down, rinsing the bad taste out with another swig of water. I settled into my bath water with a smile on my face, knowing I had a new way to conquer my body.

I felt my stomach getting tighter; I smiled. Bye Bye Calories.

"Kurt I'll be right back." I said, moving from the boy I had on top of me. I ran to the bathroom to let all of the hideousness out of my body.

I felt.. better. I felt in control, and just better about myself. I ate a whole meal, and now, there's nothing to show of it. No more pounds, no more disgusting feelings; just me. I was finally in control, and nobody had to know.

I walked back to Kurt, who was soundly asleep on the bed. I eased my way back into bed, so he would be resting on me once more. I rubbed circles on his back and kissed his temple, knowing I felt.. happy. Kurt didn't have to know I was broken. He wouldn't need to worry about me; he could focus on himself. I could focus on him. And we could be happy together. I smiled, fluttering my eyes shut to join my love in dream land.

A/N: Ahh, the discovery of Epsom salt. Blaaaaaine :'( …. I'll be updating again soon!