A/N: I'm really sorry I haven't posted in a while, I feel really bad. Long story short, there's a baby on the way in the family, someone died and I got sick. So… yeah. That's the past 5 days in a nutshell. So I'm really sorry about that. So here's this! Enjoy!

"Blaine, I just don't get it." Kurt said, looking down at the hospital room's floor. "He was jealous of me because I was gay and was out about it, which is something I understood, but he…liked me and wanted to kill me? Even under his circumstances, why would you want to kill someone you like?" Kurt said, completely confused.

"Maybe his jealousy overpowered his like?" Blaine questioned, not knowing what to tell Kurt. Only Karofsky knew the answer to Kurt's question. And they were not about to go ask him anytime soon.

"Blaine, he did more than just try to kill me." Kurt said in a monotone voice as fear creeped on his face. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, encouraging him to go on.

"He t-touched me." Kurt said, his eyes watering up.

"Like he.. he had…"

"No, not all the way." Kurt said, still looking down at the ground like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen

"He pulled me into the boy's bathroom near the cafeteria and he pinned me up against a wall and he… he touch me.. there." Kurt said, letting a tear escape from his eye. I wiped it, and kissed Kurt on the head.

"I tried yelling for him to stop, but he kept going, until a freshman walked in. He didn't see us, but it was enough to make Karofsky freeze and run out of the room." Kurt continued

"I felt so… dirty. I ended up telling the nurse I threw up in the bathroom and she let me go home. I showered 3 times, and I couldn't help but feel…..just… dirty. I felt awful about myself. I felt used. I felt…violated. And I think that was the second big thing that led to all of this." Kurt said, gesturing to his surroundings.

I hated Karofsky. He took away Kurt's first kiss, threatened to take away his life, and was aimed on taking his virginity. There was nothing more that I wanted than to see that boy locked up and miserable for the rest of his life, but there was nothing I could do. I had no physical proof (though Kurt's words and tears were enough for me) and Kurt wouldn't tell anyone. I didn't know what to do. All I knew is that Karofsky is still on the loose; he could hurt my Kurt again.

"Kurt , you should never have to feel that way about yourself. HE made you feel that way. It was nothing of your doings. And I want to kick his ASS right now." I said angrily.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He whispered, trembling. I hugged him close to me, rubbing small circles on his back as he shook in my grasp. This was something that was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. He could fade away the pain, but it would never really be…gone. It was always going to be there.

"You don't deserve this Kurt. No one does. Especially you." I said still squeezing Kurt tight.

"Blaine… I felt so… low. So low. So dirty, so used, so… not me." Kurt sobbed

"Kurt, when did this happen?"

"2 weeks ago." He whispered

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know what you'd think Blaine! What if you broke up with me? I don't ever want to lose you, Blaine." He said, sobbing.

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. I want you to listen to every single word I say, very very closely. And I never, ever want you to forget it, okay?" I said, pulling away from our tight embrace. He looked into my eyes; mine into his.

"Kurt, I'm never going to leave you for that. He tried to HURT you. What kind of person, let alone boyfriend, would I be if I didn't protect you? I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on. Kurt, you can tell me anything, and I promise, I will never judge you. Everything that you tell me will cause me to fall even more in love with you. I love you more every day. And I don't want this to happen to you again. I love you too much Kurt, and I can't fix anything if I don't know it's broken. You have to tell me. And I will always love you for doing so." I said, now crying.

I pulled Kurt in for another hug, squeezing tight, as though I could never let him go.

"I don't deserve someone like you." He whispered

"You deserve everything, Kurt. And don't let anyone or anything tell you otherwise." I said.

Hugging Kurt, I couldn't help but think that he was right; he doesn't deserve someone like me. He deserves BETTER. He deserves someone who is not fighting their own demons. But I love Kurt. I love Kurt so much; some days I think I love Kurt too much. And I may be broken, but I won't let him fix me. I can fix myself.

Despite an emotionally draining therapy session, Kurt insisted we go to the mall to buy me clothes. I felt… guilty. I felt that we shouldn't have to be taking care of me. I can fix myself; Kurt needs to worry about himself so he can get better. And I need to worry about him too.

We looked in at least five different stores for clothes; acquiring new pants, shirts, sweaters, undergarments and of course… bowties. Kurt held himself differently at the mall; if that even makes any sense. He was confident in looking for new fashions, and he seemed genuinely happy looking for clothes to fit me. When we had finished, we sat down in the food court and shared a few laughs over coffee. It was like we were one of our old coffee 'non-dates' from before we got together. It was just us, being flirtatious and ourselves.

"Look, it's the lady fags." I heard a voice call out. Kurt froze. I shot my head up to look at Karofsky, who was approaching our table. I got up from the table, standing in front of Kurt.

"What do you want Karofsky?" I said, almost in a growl. He just grinned mischievously

"Move out of the way, Hobbit. I need to see Hummel."

"I'm not moving from this spot." I said sternly.

"You'd better, if you knew what was good for you." Karofsky said, his voice low and husky.

"I'm not moving from this spot." I said, letting my eyes peer into his soul. I reacted as Karofsky threw his fist at me; I blocked it. I grinned as his face froze.

I threw multiple blows to his face, those blows becoming harder and harder with each swing. I knocked Karofsky to the ground, and it was only a few seconds before I was kneeling beside him, holding his face up to mine.

"It's because of people like you that I learned how to do that. Now, if you come near Kurt again, it'll be worse the next time. And yes, that is a threat. And you can go cry to the authorities all you want, but I know there were witnesses here. And I KNOW what you did to Kurt. So if YOU knew what was best for YOU, you would stay away from Kurt. Now leave." I said, my body pulsing with anger and adrenaline. I stood up and watched as Karofsky did too, backing away from us slowly. I turned around to Kurt, who looked shocked but never the less angry

"Blaine! What the hell?" He yelled

"We need to leave now." I said before spinning around and walking towards the exit of the mall. I knew Kurt was only a few paces behind me. We had gotten to the car before Kurt spoke

"Blaine! You KNOW he's only like that because he's so far in the closet!" Kurt said angrily

"Kurt, look what he's done to you! Look what he almost drove you to do! I was NOT letting him near you again. I don't care how far in the closet you are, you can't just DO that to people. Especially not YOU. He deserved every blow he received Kurt, every single one and I don't regret it." I said sternly, growing angrier by the second

"Blaine I don't care what he's done to me! He didn't deserve to have the shit beat out of him!" Kurt yelled

"KURT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HE TRIED TO DO TO YOU? DON'T YOU GET IT? HE TRIED TO KILL THE ONLY GOOD THING IN MY LIFE; HE TRIED TO TAKE AWAY YOUR HAPPINESS, YOUR INNOCENCE, YOUR LIFE, KURT! IF HE KILLED YOU, I WOULD HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! AND WHAT IF HE TRIED TO HURT YOU AGAIN, HUH? WHAT IF HE TRIED TO KILL YOU AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME HE SUCCEEDED? HUH? WHAT WOULD I DO THEN? I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH MYSELF!" I screamed, now crying in anger. Kurt just sat there, with his mouth open, not saying anything. I turned the car on, and sped back home, fighting to keep tears out of my eyes as I drove.

We both got out of the car when we arrived home and I ran into the house. I ran into Finn's room, him staring at me confused

"Get me a pair of gym shorts. I have a t-shirt. We are going to the gym now." I said as calmly as I could, before watching Finn nod. I walked out of the room and downstairs to the front door, where I ran to the car and waited in the passenger seat. Finn followed not but 5 minutes later, and climbed into the driver's seat.

We drove to the only 24 hour gym in Lima. I practically sped out of the car and into the gym, finding the nearest punching bag. I grabbed a pair of gloves that they had there, and I started to beat the living daylights out of it.

I beat the ever living crap out of that bag. I pictured it being anyone who ever hurt Kurt. There was even a point I pictured it as myself, because obviously, beating the crap out of Karofsky hurt him. It just didn't make any sense! He HURT Kurt, shouldn't he want to see him in pain? Yeah, I feel bad for the kid, but he was going to RAPE and KILL Kurt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" someone asked. I turned to see Finn leaning against a wall to the side of me.

"I just don't get it." I said, refocusing my thoughts on the bag. I jabbed it a few times before turning to Finn. I punched the bag a few more times, feeling my rage build up. My rage towards Karofsky and towards myself.

"KAROFSKY HURT HIM. KAROFSKY HURT HIM AND HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BEAT THE EVER LIVING CRAP OUT OF HIM! FINN, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE AND KURT WANTS ME TO LET HIM GO? WHAT SO KURT CAN BE HARRASSED EVEN MORE AND THEN TRY TO TAKE HIS LIFE AGAIN? ALL I HAVE IS KURT. THAT'S ALL I HAVE, AND I CAN'T EVEN DEFEND HIM? WHAT IF I LOST HIM? I ALREADY ALMOST DID!" I screamed, throwing more punches at the bag. I stopped, and collapsed on the ground, crying. I felt Finn crawl over next to me and put his arm around my shoulder

"Blaine, take deep breaths, okay?"

"I CAN'T! WHAT IF I LOSE KURT, WHAT DO I DO THEN? AND NOW HE'S MAD AT ME, MAD BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO BEAT KAROFSKY UP, WHEN THAT'S ALL HE'S EVER DONE TO KURT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" I sobbed

"Blaine, deep breaths. Please." Finn said.

I sat there, shaking in anger and in fear for what seemed to be an eternity.

"Blaine, can you try and tell me what happened?" He asked. I continued taking breaths.

"We were at the mall, and Karofsky approached us, calling us… well.. you can figure what he called us. And I stood in front of Kurt and when he tried to go after him, I beat the shit out of him. I told him to leave us alone, and Kurt became very angry with me." I said, wiping tears from my eyes and sighing

"He's angry at you?"

"Yes, Finn."

"Why?"

"Finn, Karofsky is gay. A gay that is so far in the closet and that's why he does what he does to Kurt. And Finn he did some terrible stuff. I can't really go into it because of the therapy stuff. But I saw him and he tried to approach Kurt and I beat the shit out of him. But Kurt was all angry because he feels pity towards Karofsky. But what if he had tried to hurt Kurt again, huh? Finn, he's all I have. My parents hate me because I'm gay; I don't have my family anymore. I'm not really close to anyone like I am close to Kurt. And if I lost him, I'd lose myself. I couldn't take any chances." I said, letting another tear slip. I knew I wasn't tell Finn everything and I knew I should, but I just… couldn't. I couldn't tell him. Kurt would then find out and he would definitely leave me.

"I can see where Kurt is coming from, but I can also see where you're coming from. And Blaine, I think Kurt will too. I know he will. And Blaine, you are not going to lose Kurt. I've been on and off with girls before; some who I even thought I was in love with, but you and Kurt? I see you guys growing old together; bantering over what color to paint your living room or what crib to buy for your first baby's nursery. I see it. And everyone else does too. Blaine, I think you did the right thing to protect Kurt. Maybe you shouldn't have beaten Karofsky up, but you are right to protect him. Kurt is just stubborn." Finn said, trying to console me.

"You really are a lot smarter than they portray you to be, Finn. You're a good guy." I said to him, smiling. He gave me a 'bro hug'.

"This is what I'm here for, bro. You are like a brother to me. You aren't like one, you are one Blaine. I'm always around if you need me." Finn said with a smile

I couldn't help but feel worried walking back to Finn's car. He said he'd thought me and Kurt would be together forever. But what if that isn't the case? If Kurt finds out what's really going on, he'll leave me. I want that future more than anything. If I can't have Kurt, I will have nobody because I can't imagine my future without Kurt in it.

It was in no time that Finn and I were home. Finn looked at me before stepping out of the car and walking to the house. I sat in the car, taking a few deep breaths before getting out. I stepped out and walked to the front door, entering the home when I was attacked by something; someone. I could smell a Vanilla and mocha; I instantly knew it was Kurt. I squeezed him tight in my arms.

"I'm sorry Blaine." He whispered into my shoulder. All I could do was let another tear run down my cheek and squeeze Kurt tighter.

"I love you so much, Kurt. I'm really sorry I was so violent. I'm just so scared that I'm going to lose you." I said into his shoulder. He released from my hug.

"Blaine, you are never going to lose me." He said, crashing in on me to let his lips waltz on mine.

I couldn't help but feel my heart break at the words; words that would be true if Kurt never found out my weakness.

Post A/N: I'm really sorry that the ending kind of sucks; my head is like… pounding really badly. :( I just want to let you all know I am going on Vacation next week, so I probably wont have a lot up like I normally do; but I'll still be writing! (:

I also want to address something; Blaine KNOWS he has a problem; this is a relapse. He WANTS to get help, but he WON'T because he doesn't want Kurt to find out, and he loves Kurt too much to have him a) worry about anything other than himself and b) lose him. Blaine (if you can't already tell) has his mind set that Kurt will undoubtedly leave him if he finds out about Blaine's ED

Having and ED is a serious issue, no matter what anyone says. If you have one, please, seek help. It's the bravest thing a person can do. Love you all!