I flew into a flurry of packing before I could even think about what I was going to tell Ivy and Jenks. I packed up the remainder of my dad's Leyline magic supplies, eager to be using them again. I packed a bag with changes of clothes, just in case I got laid out for another few days making a memory and Al couldn't shift me home with a damaged aura to cushion my thoughts in the line. I packed a few toiletries, too, since the brush and wash curse Al used didn't freshen my breath or clean my teeth. I even packed a lunch for Al, Pierce, and myself, well aware that food that didn't taste like burnt amber was a rare commodity on the other side of the lines.
Somewhere between bottling water and sliding sandwiches into little plastic baggies, I heard the front door of the church opening, the sound of Ivy and Jenks bickering carrying through the sanctuary. I got everything safely stowed outside the back door while the sound of pixy children greeting their papa and the slam of Ivy's bedroom door echoed back to me. I felt like I was sneaking out. I checked the time and figured I had an hour and a half before sunset to cushion the blow of my leaving. I pulled out my largest cooking pot and took it to the sink to get dinner started. I wasn't above using a little bribery to soften the blow, and pasta seemed like a high-carb, good-feeling food to start. I pulled out a bottle of honey I'd been saving for a special occasion, or a lot of ass-kissing for Jenks, and this seemed like the time to employ it. I measured out a thimbleful as the clatter of pixy wings were headed my way. It's too bad I didn't have anything nearly as good for Ivy, but she seemed to prefer coffee and orange juice to any other beverage, so I figured I couldn't do better.
"Hey, Rache! We're back," Jenks hollered, flitting into the kitchen with a cautious sound to his greeting. Had he been dancing on eggshells around me the whole six months? Suddenly depressed, I realized he had. I heard the water heater kick on. Ivy must be showering.
"Hi, Jenks!" I smiled brightly, hiding my naked wrist behind the island countertop as I used my other hand to push forward the Jenks-sized shot glass of honey. "How did the run go?"
My smile pulled him up short and he looked from me to the honey to my hidden wrist. He landed lightly on the countertop and took my bribe, his wings drooping. "You took it off," he said, pulling out his chopsticks and setting to like a man who really needed a drink.
"What gave me away?" I muttered, going to the fridge and pulling out a few tomatoes to make sauce with.
"You were smiling. You haven't smiled like that in months," he answered, his tone resigned.
"So you're not mad?"
"Sad, maybe, but…" he paused, gobbling up honey, "It's like before, when Ivy wasn't practicing. It's part of you, I guess, and you've been miserable without it."
That was exactly how I felt. I really needed to give Jenks more credit. He was incredibly perceptive. "Thanks, Jenks."
"Doesn't mean I like it. Mmmmm, that's goooood honey."
I cooked while Jenks quickly got honey-drunk. I had coffee made before the water heater clicked back off. I was dumping diced tomatoes into a pan with a dash of vinegar, salt and hot sauce when Ivy slinked in to grab the orange juice out of my mom's old fridge. She took a glass out of the high cupboard before asking lightly, "When are you leaving?"
Shit. She'd heard. At least that meant I didn't have to break the news. "Sunset. I'll be back before sunrise."
"Are you sure about this, Rachel?" she asked, still remarkably calm. Maybe Jenks's remark about her bloodlust put it into a perspective she could handle. I turned from the stove to look at her. Her head was lowered over her lap, both hands on the counter around her glass.
"I'm done feeling useless. You have to admit, I haven't been able to do my fair share of the business. I have a job in the everafter. I pretty much have a monopoly on said job, since Newt won't make any new memories and I can actually come back to see the things they want. I had an order for Rynn Cormel's pool before… Ku'Sox."
"Rynn doesn't have a pool," she muttered, perplexed.
"He does in DC," I countered. I stared at the top of Ivy's head, wordlessly begging her to look up at me. I had to see how she was really taking this, but she wouldn't look, wouldn't let me see if her eyes had gone black. "I know this is going to sound dumb, but I know what I'm doing."
"Have you called Big Al?" Jenks hiccuped from his spot under the spotlight over the sill where Mr Fish, my Beta, used to swim. I sure hoped Al or Pierce had remembered to feed him in the everafter while I was gone.
"First thing. He was pissed at first, but now he's… happier." I turned back to the stove with a shrug. "I hope," I whispered to myself.
"We've already said everything that needs to be said," Ivy murmured low. "You'll do what you want to do, regardless of the consequences. If things had gone differently, you'd still be going there. What else can I say? You're a demon. It's part of you, like Jenks is a pixy and I'm a vampire. You tried the witch thing and it made you miserable. Maybe this way, you can be happy."
"I'm not leaving for good, Ivy," I tried to reassure her. "No matter what, this is my home."
"I know," she sighed, smiling a tired smile. "Better not die over there."
"If I don't come back at sunrise, you'll summon me back, right?" I asked, real worry spilling into my tone while I stirred my sauce. Clockwise, always clockwise, never widdershins. I wanted good things to come of this meal.
"I'll make sure Ceri knows you're gone. Do you want me to call Nick just in case?"
"Ah, no. I think Nick's demon summoning days are really, finally over. I scared him one time too many with Al showing up in his apartment."
"Crap for brains peed in his little thief pants!" Jenks called from inside my dented spell pot. When did he get over there?
"Do you want to tell Trent or should I?" Ivy asked, stifling a grin at Jenks's loving endearment of my ex.
"I'll call him. It's the least I can do, but I'm not looking forward to him trying to hire my services out as his own private demon."
"Why not? He Liiiiiikes you," Jenks slurred, still in my dented spell pot.
"Because he likes me," I answered with a shrug, not really having a better reason any more. I had entrusted him with my soul; him and Al both. Could I pick them or what? It's a miracle I'm still breathing. Trent and I hadn't talked much since our stilted conversation in my kitchen six months ago, and we never mentioned that kiss we shared in the hospital, either. Mostly I just asked him about Lucy and how Ceri was settling into new motherhood. He always handed off the phone immediately if Ceri was in the room. Maybe I'd hurt his feelings or something.
I really needed to give him a call, right after I ate.
Dinner prepped like an expertly stirred spell, we sat in relative silence. I even got Jenks to take some of the pasta and sauce on his own little plate. The rest went to the pixy brood and Bis, who fidgeted nervously atop the fridge throughout the entire confrontation between the roommates. Ivy offered to do the dishes so I could get my call to Trent over with.
After calmly telling his secretary who I was and that I wanted to speak to his Elfness, I was put on hold for a record ten seconds before he picked up.
"Rachel," he sounded genuinely happy to hear from me, which made what I was about to say that much harder. Guiltily, I realized that he was usually the one to make the calls. "Have you finally come to your senses and decided to work with me?" Now we were back in familiar territory, and I didn't feel so bad.
"Geez, Trent. Well, hello to you, too. Listen, I have something I want to tell you and I don't have a whole lot of time to turn you down gently."
"When have you ever turned me down gently?" He sounded amused, but underneath he was a little hurt. I could tell he was talking about more than just me working for him.
"I, uh, wanted to thank you for giving me this time to make a decision about, you know, what I wanted to be when I grew up."
He let out a long breath of air and I could hear him settling back into his high backed office chair. "You're going back." It wasn't a question.
"Not permanently. Just a regular sunset-to-sunrise, and I keep my weekends."
"I could give you that," he murmured softly, "I'd even pay your travel expenses."
"Tempting," I teased. "I'd still like to remain a freelancer, work with you on a case-by-case basis, if you've still got a use for a day-walking demon."
"Be careful, Morgan." His voice was heavy with meaning.
"I will," I swallowed down surprise at his honest, naked sentiment. "Thanks, uh, Trent. For everything. You know how to call me, as does Ceri. But if you circle me, I am going to take it out of your tanned elf hide."
"Duly noted. Now, will there be anything else?" He was back to his casual, businesslike self. Hearing the brush-off, I shook my head.
"Nope, that was it. Hug Lucy for me. I'd like to come visit, soon, if that's not an imposition."
"Are you looking for an invitation?" His smiling, teasing demeanor came back with a vengeance.
"Now, you know I've never needed one of those, Trent," I teased back.
"True. Take care of yourself, Rachel."
"Right back at ya." And that was that.
I put the phone back in its cradle, wondering why I felt so sad all of a sudden. I thought I'd get more static from the people I cared about, and even more from Trent. Everyone had been surprisingly accepting, even resigned to me doing this, like they'd known all along what I'd ultimately choose. The only one who seemed the tiniest bit surprised was Al. I bet I'd get the same reaction from Mom that I got from Jenks and Ivy, granted with a bit more of her supportive, potty-mouthed flair. Was I really that predictable?
I tired it on for size, realizing that this was now a normal life for me. I decided to quit beating myself up over every little quirk of fate and just go with it. I was a demon. It was time I took that and made it my own. I could only be myself, and no one else's idea of who I should be. With that in mind, I strolled back into the kitchen, blowing bunny-eared kisses to the pixy children playing in and around my desk as I went. Al would be coming to scoop me up pretty soon, and I wanted to spend time with Jenks and Ivy before I left.
"That sounded like it went well," Ivy remarked from behind her computer, surrounded by her maps and markers and things. I caught Bis's gaze and smiled cheekily with him.
"It definitely could have gone worse."
Bis stuck the tip of his tongue out at me and I had to laugh.
"What? What did I miss?" Jenks cried from his place on the still-warm stove.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Al's coming to pick me up from the graveyard in about fifteen minutes."
"He's already standing in the line, Ms Morgan," Bis spoke up.
"I have until sunset," I said. "I'm not going to leave early just because he thought I was dead for six months."
"Do you think he… missed you?" Ivy pondered, giving me an odd look. Her pupils were tiny, the ring of brown around them giving testament to her emotional calm.
"More like he wants to waste no time in bitching at me about how much shit he took over me 'dying'."
"Yeah, that's gotta be it," Jenks nodded, looking worried that maybe it wasn't. "You didn't see him when he saw you lying in that hospital bed, though. He was Pissed with a capital P."
"Yeah, his entire investment and future way of life just got flushed down the toilet," I scoffed, but something in me paused to consider. Maybe he really had been upset about me dying because he… liked me for me, not just what I could do for him. Demons had feelings, could even love. I was the poster child for that, and only those demons who could love survived to make it to the everafter. It wasn't impossible, but it was worrisome.
"Rachel, get out there. Don't make him even more pissed off by making him wait," Ivy urged, looking a little ill. "I do not want to see him like that again."
"Crap on Toast! I'm going! Come on, Bis," I said, and stood still while he wound himself around my neck with his tail. I saw the lines ignite trails in my consciousness, and had to hold back a giggle of delight. I'd really missed them.
"Bye, Rache! Bye Bis!" Jenks called, and he was joined by a pixy chorus of "Bye, Ms Morgan!" from his kids.
I grabbed up my stuff from the stoop behind my church and turned to wave back at my church, murmuring, "Bye, guys," before turning to pick my way through the headstones toward the line.