The next few hours I would much rather forget. I am examined like a piece of meat as my prep team swarms me like a pack of vultures. They tug relentlessly at my hair until it shimmers a golden blonde in the light that pales through the window. They scrub my skin until it is flawless. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and the boy I see is a stranger to me. I haven't looked quite this healthy in years. My familiar dark circles from lack of sleep have been erased from my face. My muscles from years of training stand out proudly. This boy is a stranger to me and nothing more. I know the real boy this imposter masks and nobody can know he exists.
Once they are finished their work they stand back and observe my naked body. I don't like the way their eyes are all trained on me; it's unsettling. I know they are only concerned about looks, but I worry they will try to see past my surface. They ask me questions as we wait for my stylist, but I can't be bothered to give them an ounce of my attention. I have my angle figured out. I'll be playing the hostile confident role. How much of an act is this really? I've always been hostile towards those around me especially once I fell into my addiction. I brought this all upon myself and I don't want anyone's help, or pity.
Another hour seems to drag by as my stylist dresses my up like some sort of doll. In a suit that sparkles from every angle I walk down to the main hall to wait to be escorted to the carriages. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin at this moment and I long to be rid of this costume. My skin starts to crawl as that sensation brought on from withdrawal works its way through my veins. It has been four days now since the taste of alcohol had touched my lips. I lick my lips longingly for the bitter flavors, but quickly stop myself. I can't show weakness not when soon the eyes of Panem will be on me.
"Well don't you look handsome," I turn around at the sound of Avery's voice. She is dressed in a costume similar to my own, but she seems to be enjoying this process of dress-up much more than myself.
I shrug lightly, "Well I would be insulted if you said otherwise."
She walks over to me linking our arms; it takes all my strength not to pull away from her, "Well how about you escort your lovely District partner to the carriages? I think it's about time we met the other careers."
I briefly remember the other careers from watching the recap of the reapings. Our mentor instructed us to focus on who may pose the greatest threat to us, but my mind was elsewhere. All I need to focus on about them is that they will try to kill me when I no longer serve them any purpose; which is why I intend on never giving anyone the chance to take my life.
In the bright light that bombards us as we walk into the chariot waiting area I observe my surroundings. Twenty two other young men and woman who are all fighting just as hard as I am to keep their life. My life is not for the taking and I won't let anyone one of these people no matter how much of a fighter they may be snatch my life from beneath my feet.
"Oh, there are the other careers over there," Avery says excitedly as she drags me over to a small group of tributes. As careers we always stand out compared to the lower Districts. I observe each of them carefully as we approach them. The boy from 2 is smaller than the average career, but the way his eyes keep twitching around the room gives him the look like he can't wait to sink his teeth into someone's neck. The girl from 2 has long dark brown hair and appears bored as she casually picks at her nails with a small pocket knife. The male from 4 is almost as tall as I am, but one look at him and you can see that he is more brawn than brains.
As we reach the group the girl from 4 comes twirling towards us, "Well it's about time the pair from 1 showed up," Her golden hair cascades down her back as she looks at me with crystal blue eyes.
"Sorry, it took someone's prep team longer to make Avery look even close to presentable," I say as I look at Avery and pull my arm away from her. The girl from 2 snickers at my comment.
Avery glares at me as the girl from 4 walks closer and places her fingers lightly on my chest, "Well big boy you have a little bit of spunk don't you?" She bats her eyelashes at me and I mentally roll my eyes. I can already see that this girl loves to play with her prey.
"The name is Dane not big boy," I respond to her as I take a step back from her hand.
"No need to act, so cold with me big boy," She says with a wink. "Now let me introduce everyone. That over there is Sterling," She points over to her District partner. "That is Damien," She gestures to the boy from District 2. "And that is-"
The girl from 2 cuts her off before she can finish her sentence, "I can introduce myself thank you very much," She retorts as she flicks a piece of hair out of her face. "The names Foe."
The girl from 4 places her hands on her hips not looking impressed about being cut off, "Well now that she is finished rudely interrupting me I can introduce myself. I'm Aqua Marie and I will be the leader of this year's career pact!"
I glance at Avery and can see the anger reflected in her eyes. I know she had intentions to be the leader; already I can tell there will be arguments between this so called alliance.
"Sorry to break it to you turquoise or whatever color your name is, but I am the leader of this alliance," Avery says this as she glares daggers at Aqua.
"First of all sweetheart the name is Aqua, so next time you better get it right. Second of all a pathetic girl like you could never even dream of reaching the standards the leader of the careers needs to achieve," Aqua's voice is layered with bitterness.
"Pathetic? I have been training my entire life for this! And no golden haired b*tch like yourself is going to stand in my way," Avery narrows her eyes at Aqua and I can see that unless someone bothers to step in this is going to end badly.
A smirk spreads across Aqua's face as if she's pleased with how easily she has worked up Avery, "I could easily turn everyone in this group against you, so I would watch that tongue of yours. Now unless you want to be kicked out of this alliance and have me personally make sure you are dead at the end of the bloodbath you will walk away to your carriage right now."
Much to my surprise Avery actually walks away cursing under her breath towards our carriage. "Now that we have the leader sorted out we shall meet up after the ceremony to discuss strategy," Aqua giggles and walks off with her District partner to stand by her carriage.
I look up to see the boy from District 2 has already left and just the girl from 2 is left standing there observing me closely. "In my opinion that had to have been the most pathetic b*tch fight I have ever seen. I was kind of hoping they would start clawing each other's eyes out; would have been my entertainment for the night."
I laugh lightly at her comment, "I assume you think you could take them both on easily?"
Foe cracks her knuckles mockingly, "No, I assume I could take them both on as well as you easily."
"I would like to see you even try," I say as I cross my arms.
"We have plenty of time for that in the arena big boy," She mocks Aqua's voice and laughs as she heads to her carriage.
I shake my head and walk towards my own carriage. At this moment I have yet to really decide if I want to be a part of the career pact or not. The only person I could see myself trusting; if I was capable of trust anymore would be Foe. I run over my choices as I walk into my carriage completely ignoring Avery. I block out her voice as she yells at me for not standing up for her. In all honestly I could care less.
Now bathed in the bright lights of the city with the loud drone of cheers ringing in my ears is the time to act. I plaster a confident grin on my face as I make my way down the aisle with Avery at my side. She reaches for my hand wanting to put on a show for the Capitol, but I quickly pull my hand away not giving her the satisfaction. I am nobodies play toy.
Besides the whispers in my head urging me to break down and drink I will stand tall for now. Despite everything I am not about to crumble. There has to be more to life than this. There has to be more to life than drowning out the world with the numbness my drinking brings on. And once I am crowned victor I will find out what more to life there is.