Chapter 9: Law and Disorder
Sun. April 3rd
5: 36 P.M.
From: SamluvzHam
To: Fredtech57
Subject: Law and Disorder
Omg! Yo, Fredwad, wassup? Has your life been as terrible as I hope? But that's actually not why I'm emailing u today. Ok, so you know the Seattle police Department (SPD)? Well…they're kinda mad at me right now.
But seriously, I didn't do anything bad. I just stole one of those cool police cruisers and took it for a (not so) quick spin around Mexico. I thought we'd all laugh about it while eating donuts, but did we? Nooooooo. This just proves my theory that all cops have no sense of humor.
So….that's why I'm here in jail :( waiting for someone to come and bail me out. Yeah…I hope you got 2000 bucks on ya.
Hope you check ur inbox soon! Later Freddip.
-Sam
Sun. April 3rd
6: 18 P.M.
From: Fredtech57
To: SamluvzHam
Subject: Re: Law and Disorder
Why, hello again, Sam. I know it's been a while since our last email. But I understand, cuz u were in Juvi for 'accidentally' putting Miss Briggs in the hospital. Obviously your new therapist isn't doing much good if you still feel the need to attack teachers the way you attack meatballs.
And FYI, I'm doing just fine! So, ha. In ur face, Puckett! So yeah…back to the whole 'in jail' thing.
Um…stealing a police cruiser is in fact something that makes cops mad. But I know that's hard for u to understand so I'll give u an example.
It would be like someone stealing a sandwich from you. I can't imagine why anyone would want to die a painful and bloody death, but there are lunatics out there who might. Just try to keep that in mind, kay? I know you won't.
Why do you think police officers would want to eat donuts with you? I mean, they've all met you. And once you've met Sam Puckett, you've been robbed by Sam Puckett. So ur brain is flawed. :/
BTW, how do you know cops have no sense of humor? Has it ever been scientifically proven? Hmmm….?
*Sigh* Yes, I have 2,000 dollars. I got it from selling signed pics of myself online. Apparently lots of gurlz wanna be able to see me 24/7. If only u were one of 'em.
But just cuz I have the cash doesn't mean I'll come bail u out. In fact, I think I'll just let u sit there for a while and think about what u did. Maybe it will teach u a lesson.
Lol. Wow, I kept a straight face for 2 and a half seconds! That's a new personal best!
Enjoy sharing a cell with a hobo, Sam. Enjoy. (insert evil laugh here)
-Freddie B.
Sun. April 3rd
6: 52 P.M.
Subject: Re: Re: Law and Disorder
Dude, you'd better not keep mama waiting! Cuz if u do, bad things will happen.
Bad things…
On that happy note, I'm very disappointed in you, Fredface. It's a sad world we live in if I can't even wake up in the mornings knowing ur not miserable. That makes Mama mad.
So to fix that little problem, I guess I'll just have to plan a few pranks or two. Oh, but don't worry Frederly. Waiting in jail will give me plenty of time to come up with some great (for me) ideas.
This is the part where u face-palm. Ur plan backfired! ;)
Oh, Freddork. You're so stupid all the time.
Later. (insert insulting nickname here)
-Sammie