Chapter 12: Blog Hog
Sunday, April 17th
5:28 P.M.
From: SamluvzHam
To: Fredtech57
Subject: Blog Hog
Frednub, your mom needs to be locked up in the wackadoodle shack! Well, I guess it's true what they say. The apple never falls far from the tree…
So I guess you're wondering why I'm saying this. Well…have you checked your blog lately? Cuz last night your mom posted some pretty funny stuff that I can use for future blackmail…see for yourself.
Fredman's Blog
Sunday, April 16th
4:21 P.M.
Updated: 5 min. ago
Hello, Freddie's friends! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Freddie's mother. I wanted to see why Freddie is always posting stuff on his blog (I thought he might be purchasing a bus ticket). But I read through all his personal, private posts and found he's not planning on leaving me.
But since I'm here, I might as tell you about my day!
I just put little Freddiekinz to bed. I know it's already past 4 P.M. but I let him stay up later on the weekends.
I don't know why Freddie protests when I tell him it's time for bed. Growing boys need sleep. My Obsessed Parenting magazine said so! (I have a monthly subscription).
Now that Freddie is asleep, I can work on my knitting! I'm making a dog leash for Freddie to wear. This way I'll be able to make sure I don't lose him. Plus, all the stylish boys are wearing yarn leashes as necklaces…right?
Well, I suppose I should log off now. I've got to finish giving Freddie his tick bath! He refused to let me do it yesterday…but he'll never know! :)
Aren't I hip? I just learned how to that smiley face symbol! :)
Sunday, April 17th
5: 43 P.M.
From: Fredtech57
To: SamluvzHam
Subject: Re: Blog Hog
I hope I don't ruin my computer with all the crying I'm doing. My life is over. Literally! The kids at school are never gonna forget this. EVER. Why do "populars" remember an embarrassing blog, but they don't remember how to hook up Wi-Fi to their hard drive?
It makes no sense.
This is the last straw (literally, my mom took the last straw to clean the earwax out of my ears). I'm changing my password from Fredman to Fredguy! She'll never figure that out!
And this time I won't write it down in my diary! HA!
Sunday, April 17
6: 17 P.M.
From: SamluvzHam
To: Fredtech57
Subject: Re: Re: Blog Hog
Haven't you learned by now, Frederly? You shouldn't confide in me! If you tell Sam Puckett your secrets, Sam Puckett reveals your secrets! That's how life works.
Let this be a lesson to you. Don't tell me anything you don't want to end up online.
WAIT! Forget I said that. You should tell me all your deepest darkest secrets. ;)
Just so there's no confusion: I'll be posting your mom's blog entry on the school website.
See ya in school tomorrow, Fredumbo.
P.S. Get it? From the movie Dumbo? Ya know…you have a lot in common with an awkward elephant with huge ears. But I'll let you figure that out for yourself.
P.P.S Just cuz we're dating now doesn't mean I don't luv to mess with ya! Even boyfriends of mine don't get special privileges.