A/N: Just in case you're wondering, The Lies of Locke Lamora is a book about a group of thieves who call themselves the Gentleman Bastards, which is also the name of the series. I seriously think that this is Bakura's book. You really should read it.
Yami had been in some sticky situations before. These included being tricked into thinking the world was being invaded by zombies, almost being obliterated by exploding alarm clocks, and being captured and interrogated by an ice cream-crazed psychopath— twice— but he had to admit, this one took the cake.
"Now, evil demon spirit," his captor said, brandishing a thick book, "I banish you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, back to the darkest regions of Hell, whence you came! Unless, of course, you have a restraining order preventing you from going near Satan. I know I do, and lemme tell you, it's a pain in the ass."
Yami sighed. Nope, being exorcised was definitely not the way he wanted to spend his Saturday morning. "For the last time," he said tiredly, "untie me."
Marik, who happened to be the one holding the book and shouting (big surprise there), grinned and shook his head. "I don't think so, Yami. See, it would kind of be defeating the purpose of this…exercise… if I released the victim. So I'm gonna have to say no."
Yami grimaced and strained at the ropes holding him to the chair, thinking that if he spent any more time tied up he'd end up with permanent rope burns on his arms. "Marik, you are asking for a one-way trip to the shadow realm," he began, but Marik cut him off with a laugh.
"Not if I have anything to say about it! Now," he shouted, holding his book high, "be gone, unclean one! The power of Scott Lynch compels you!"
Yami started to roll his eyes, then blinked. "Wait; the power of…Scott…Lynch?"
Marik frowned. "It's supposed to be done with a bible," he said, "but… do you remember that big bonfire in the backyard yesterday?" Yami nodded. "Well," Marik continued, "The Lies of Locke Lamora was the only book that Bakura wouldn't let me burn."
Yami started to nod in understanding, but was stopped by a sudden thought. "…Bakura reads books?" Marik shrugged, and from some other room they heard Bakura call, "It's a good story, all right? Now hurry up and get rid of him, Marik, his voice is getting annoying!"
Marik smiled. "Of course. Go, Scott Lynch! Unleash your fury on this evil spirit!"
Yami closed his eyes.
When Bakura walked in later to reclaim his book and saw both Marik and Yami lying unconscious on the floor, he was not surprised.
"That's what you get for messing with Scott Lynch," he said, shrugging. Then he grabbed his book and walked away, leaving them on the floor.