4. IN WONDERLAND
"You know what to do, right, mate?" Ron nudged Harry. Molly Weasley had trusted Ron, Harry, and Charlie with the daunting task of going to the grocery store, something she should've done herself.
Yes, Harry knew about Muggle grocery stores, but he didn't know what to buy, where to go, or if he had enough money. He fidgeted with the crisp hundred-dollar bill in his pocket that Snape had uneasily given him. Harry concluded that Snape's trip to the bank hadn't gone well because he was exceptionally angry when he'd arrived home.
Harry, Ron, and Charlie eventually found what they were looking for. Ron and Charlie stood dumbfounded in the middle of the automatic door, taking in every square inch of the store.
"Come on, you're going to get-" Harry stopped himself and decided to have a laugh instead of warning them that the automatic door was starting to close. The door closed on Ron and Charlie, who shrieked like little girls and ran into the store.
"Harry, bloody hell! Why didn't you-" Ron realized that Harry was nearly doubled over with laughter.
"Merlin's pants!" cursed Charlie. "That's not funny!" Ron and Charlie were both cross, realizing that several people had seen what happened and were laughing.
If everyone in the house could've seen that, Harry thought. But then again, none of them (except Hermione) knew what an automatic door was and would probably get closed on, too. They would insist it was magic, no doubt, and then Moody would probably try to bash the door in.
The three boys walked through the store with absolutely no idea what to buy for dinner. Harry took charge and decided on a large array of frozen dinners, yet another thing that simply astounded Ron and Charlie. They walked to checkout, each of them juggling as many frozen dinners as they could, hopefully enough to last through lunch tomorrow.
The young Muggle girl behind the counter looked amused, stifling giggles as she finished ringing up an order. The three boys turned red up to their ears, depositing the frozen dinners on the counter. Ron and Charlie turned to look at each other in amazement when the conveyor belt started to move.
The girl rang up the order, totaling $62.33. Harry nervously handed over the only bill he had, hoping it was enough. He couldn't quite decipher the look on the girl's face, but she handed him some bills and coins. Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
"Whoa, let me see that!" Ron said, wrestling a dollar bill out of Harry's hand. He studied it. "It's not moving… Oy, it looks like the troll that Quirrell let in during first year!" Ron pronounced through laughter.
"Let me see that… Quirrell let in… a troll?" Charlie asked, giggling.
"Shut up!" Harry hissed to the both of them. Charlie and Ron were nearly doubled over, laughing. "Not here!"
The girl gave them strange looks as she bagged the frozen dinners.
The boys carried home the bags in a rush, dropping them the second they burst through the door. Kingsley was talking rather seriously to Snape. The other hundred-dollar bill was lying on the table next to Snape. Ron snatched the bill.
"Is there a troll on this one, too?" Ron exclaimed as Snape tried to take the bill out of his hand. Ron wrestled it away. "It looks like you," he said, handing him back the bill. Harry cringed, nearly hearing the gears turning in Snape's head about all the horrible things he would probably do to them once they were asleep. He was scowling and probably ready to smack Ron upside the head.
"Ron!" Hermione gasped, choosing the wrong moment to walk in the room. She was trying to stifle her laughter along with Harry. But the man on the bill did bear resemblance to Snape…
"Let me see it!" Charlie exclaimed, taking the bill from Snape's hand. He hooted, joining Ron on the floor laughing. What the hell, Harry decided, knowing Snape would probably do his best to get them all back later.