A/N: For that Rebooton thing that went around a while back.
"We have a problem."
Marik and Bakura looked up to see Malik enter the room, a grim set to his mouth.
Bakura sighed. "Did we run out of coffee again? Because I swear, if I have to go one more morning with only that 'instant' crap for company, I'm going to—"
"It's worse than that," Malik said, sitting down. "There is a possibility that we're going to get cancelled."
"What?"
"There's this… this thing going around , and it's deleting any story that uses script form, song lyrics, lists, anything it thinks is violating the site's story rules."
"But... that means..."
"It means that Drabbles: The Life of Yami Marik may very well cease to exist in the very near future."
"That can't happen!" Marik wailed. "There are so many things I haven't done yet! Why, I haven't even gotten the chance to get back at Yami for ruining my hair!"
"And you still owe me a new copy of The Lies of Locke Lamora," Bakura said sourly. "Remember what you did to the last one?"
"The point is guys," Malik interrupted," that we need a plan. And fast."
"Okay, what are our options?" Bakura asked.
Malik frowned. "That's the problem. The only thing I can think of to do is go to the management, and they don't seem to care whether we live or die."
Marik, who had been surprisingly quiet, suddenly grinned. "I think I have an idea."
Later...
"Do you hear me, you bastards? If you lay one finger on this story, or any other story on this damn site, for that matter, I will personally hunt you down and make sure that every last one of you is fired. Without references. And I can do that. You know why? Because I am Seto. Freaking. Kaiba. I have more money than God. Is that understood? Good. I'm glad we had this talk. Remember, I'm watching you."
Kaiba slammed the phone back down on his desk and glowered up at Malik, Bakura, and Marik. "There. I made some calls, pulled some strings, and pretty much made sure that those fuckers will never be seen on this stupid site ever again."
Malik grinned at him. "Thanks, Kaiba. I knew you secretly loved our little story."
"Don't you dare get mushy on me. I only agreed to help because I still haven't sued your asses for all the stuff you've pulled on me. If we got cancelled, I'd never have the chance."
"Of course that's why you did it, Kaiba. Of course."
And thus fanfiction .net was saved by three nutcases, a secretly-sympathetic asshole, and a shitload of money.
The End.