A/N: Okay, tell me: which one of you hasn't read a story where the Yamis get their asses handed to them by kitchen appliances? Revenge, baby. Or... not. Big ol' thanks to Upsilon Four for mentally shaking me and reminding me of this idea, and then being patient enough to wait for me to write it. This one's for you, darling!

Disclaimer: Blah. What the hell do I own?

They were just... staring at him. Like... they knew something he didn't.

He could read it in the way that blender sat perched on the counter, or in the way the toaster oven leaned casually against the wall by the stove. They were ready.

But so was he.

Marik tightened his grip on the electrical cord. Time to end this.

"Well, Marik? Are we going to just stand here, or are we going to actually get our revenge?"

Marik looked over to where Bakura stood next to the fridge, a power drill in his hand. Next to him, Yami fidgeted uncomfortably, looking awkward with his squirt gun pointed aimlessly at the floor. "I really don't think this is a good idea," he said. "You know how many times these things have gotten the better of us." He gestured to the oven "This one set me on fire just last week, and my hair is still singed."

Bakura crossed his arms. "So you're going to let it win? I had a run-in with the toaster just yesterday, but you don't see me backing down. Do you know how many times I've been electrocuted? Gotten my fingers fried? Had my toast burned?" He shook his head. "It's all the more reason to beat these damn appliances now, before they can cause any more damage.

"Besides," Marik chimed in, grinning. "Think of how much easier our lives will be if we just end all this now. Why, I'll never have to worry about that damn microwave again!" He shuddered, casting the aforementioned appliance a wary glance. "I hate that thing. I really, really hate that thing."

Yami bit his lip. "All right, all right. Fine. Let's just get this over with, okay?"

Marik cackled. "Excellent. Now, on the count of three: one... two..."

"Marik!"

Marik froze. "Oh no. Oh no no no."

"Marik, where are you? And why is every single light in the house on? Are you trying to cause a power surge? Actually, knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised. Come and open this door!"

Bakura glared at Marik. "I thought you said she was out of the house!"

Marik grimaced. "She was. I have no idea how she got here so quickly..."

Then he froze, his gaze landing on an object sitting innocently just a few feet away.

"Shit," he whispered in horror, pointing to the phone. "They have an inside connection. The damn things must have told her about our plan."

Bakura facepalmed. Yami looked at him, then at Marik, and then toward the door, where they could hear Ishizu fumbling with the lock. "You know what? I never liked this idea in the first place." He strolled toward the window and shoved it open. "Later, losers."

Marik and Bakura looked at each other. "Do you think we still have a chance?" Bakura asked. "They seem to have beaten us this time." He shook his head. "And they didn't even have to use force."

"We're fucked. Let's go."

This isn't over, you damn machines, Marik thought as he ran. Because I have something that you don't.

"Hey, Marik! What's that in your hand?"

Marik smiled. Victory could still be theirs. "The instruction manuals."

I'm actually gonna stay on task today and write the X-Mas special, which will be coming to you tomorrow. Seriously. I mean it. I'm not even kidding this time. Really.

Reviews. They're cool. Don't you think so?

-Eggy