A/N: Finally! This is the sequel to A Series of Bizarre and Mildly Humourous Events! I apologize for taking so long to come out with it. In my defense, the story developed sentience and tried to kill me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, and do remember to leave a review at the end! I'm trying to update the story one chapter a week, hopefully during the weekends when people have time to read it.

So very sorry for the very late upload. I got busy… and this chapter was too disturbing even for me. I struggled, toned some things down etc, and… here's the end result. I hope you enjoy it, dear reader.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me. I do not own the copyright to any of these materials. This is a fanfiction written solely for the purposes of entertainment, and the views stated by the characters do not necessarily reflect the views of the author. If you wish to host this story on a site outside of fanfiction (dot) net, please contact the author for permission first.

The Bouncer and the Whore

Due to a great deal of efficiency and some creative packing, they were ready to leave in a very short period of time. Unfortunately, part of leaving Midoya's building involved leaving either by the window or the front door, both of which were guarded by a thick wall of Hunters.

"And undoubtedly, they saw Pariston's message to me," Midoya added as Pepeka gave a particularly visible spy the one-finger salute. "They are going to do their best to stop us from reaching Pariston."

"Ah, and there are only two ways out of this place," Kuroro noted, "the front entrance and the window, both of which are watched and guarded by large numbers of hunters. Do you think we can fight through them?"

"Oh, I am sure we can, especially now that you have the use of your Nen back," Midoya agreed. "But instead of fighting a war of attrition, I am more in favour of ditching them so they lose our trail. That way, even if they know we are heading towards the Port City HQ, they have no idea how we're approaching it. It will save us a lot of energy and will give Pariston more reason to help us. After all, helping 'poor defenceless Midoya on the run from overwhelming odds' is much better political leverage than 'assisting that crazy hunter who slaughtered a path to the HQ'."

"True," Kuroro conceded. "What do you propose we do then?"

"Oh, I have a modus operandi for missions like this," Midoya said cheerfully.

"And what would that be?" Kuroro asked.

"Illusion, distraction and misdirection." Midoya beamed proudly.

"Oh shit," Pepeka blurted out from the window where he had been making faces at the spies. "Sensei… you don't mean…?"

"Oh yes."

"Oh no."

"Oh no?" Kuroro questioned, eyes darting back and forth between the two.

"Sensei, you don't mean…"

"Oh yes, I do," Midoya beamed. "The Bouncer and the Whore."

There are several components to the 'Bouncer and the Whore' that, surprisingly, do not necessarily include a bouncer or a whore (though they can be present if they want to, because who are we to say they can't be present if they want to be present, it's a free world after all as long as you do exactly as you are told). What the 'Bouncer and the Whore' necessarily include are a Big, Scary Thing, a Hidden Person, a Distraction and a Car.

And make-up. Lots of make-up.

Adjusting the gold chain around his neck, Kuroro peered at Midoya over the shades on his face. He had never taken part in a mission where he didn't know at least part of the plan. It was rather refreshing to jump in blind, even if that meant having to follow someone else's lead. However, it also wasn't very intelligent to do so. "So, are you ready to update me on my role in this mission?" he asked as they waited for the lift to reach to first floor.

"Sure," Midoya said without hesitation. "I was wondering when you were going to ask. Your role in this mission is really simple. All we need to do is walk to my car at the right moment."

"Ah." Kuroro rubbed his chin thoughtfully, accidentally rubbing off makeup in the process. "That is… unexpected. Is that all we're going to do?"

"Yup. Well, we have to walk to the car in a very specific way. We'll have to discuss that one though; I'm not sure how happy you will be with it. If I know anything about you though, I would guess you would be extremely happy with the role you have to play. Or maybe not. What do I know anyway?"

Well, Kuroro mused, that was enlightening.

The lift dinged cheerfully and they stepped out of the lift, or they would have, if a giant didn't stand before them, blocking the entire corridor. Kuroro's eyes went up… and then higher. Even bowed at the waist, the massive head, covered with thick, wiry hair and framed by broad, muscular shoulders was still at Kuroro's head level. It was hard seeing past the globular head that filled his vision, but Kuroro got the sense of a goliath body, excessive bulging flesh, clad in a smart black suit that was at least two sizes too small on that frame (or five sizes too big for Ubogin).

"Julius," Midoya said fondly. "How is my favourite doorman doing? I've heard that you had to turn back some over-enthusiastic visitors on my behalf. I hope that wasn't too taxing for you."

"Good day to you, Madam. It is very kind of you to enquire after this lowly servant. I am doing well. Your unwelcomed guests were very kind and obliging when asked to turn back," the massive head said, lifting itself to reveal a round, pug-like face with tiny, squinty eyes and thick lips. "Good day to you, Sir. Are you on your way out, Madam?"

"Yes I am," Midoya said. "Will you do me the favour of bringing my car to the front entrance? I also have some luggage here. I hope you don't mind putting it in the trunk for me after you bring the car around." She pointed to the huge sack between them. "It is a little too heavy for me to carry myself."

"Of course, Madam," the troll-like face said, bowing deeply. "It will be my pleasure." Slowly, the head rose and a powerful, bulky body turned around, arms as thick as tree trunks ending in fists as big as Midoya's head swaying as the body rotated. It was like watching a whale move through water.

"Huh," Kuroro commented. "Is he part of the plan?"

"But of course."

"Which part is he?"

"Our Big Scary Thing," Midoya replied.

"Big Scary Thing?" Kuroro questioned.

Midoya didn't answer. She didn't need to. The moment the goliath in a suit moved out of the way, Kuroro got a full, unrestricted view of the lobby. "I see," he said slowly as he took in the state of the lobby. "He does have a rather… interesting way of turning back unwelcomed guests."

Midoya grinned. "If you think the way he turns them back is scary, you should see the way he expels unwelcomed guests." She prodded a dead body that had its spine twisted around so the top half of the body was facing one direction and the bottom half another. "It's a lot messier than this. A lot messier."

Earth Moonshine Fields was sitting on the curb across from the building criminal Midoya Kito was living in, breathing in intoxicating tobacco smoke when the metaphorical shit came down.

All his life, Earth Moonshine Fields had fought against the injustice that was his name. Born thirty-seven years ago on a wet, muddy field surrounded by plenty of trees and sheep, Earth Moonshine Fields had been named in a ritual ceremony that involved a lot of naked people smoking substances of an ambiguous legal nature. Shortly after his birth, his mother, who had left the great cities to embrace nature, discovered that embracing nature meant embracing a lot of unpleasant things, like sheep poop, and rejecting a lot of pleasant things, like air-conditioning. With that discovery in mind, the young woman had returned to the confusedly happy embrace of her parents and registered for a teaching course at the local college with a sigh of relief.

There are two ways a young boy with a name like Earth Moonshine Fields can go; he could end up either as the dunker or the dunk-ee. As the rich young boys at the private school Earth Moonshine Fields attended learned quickly, the deceptive slender boy with the narrow eyes was no dunk-ee. On the first day of school, two large, burly physical education teachers had to be employed to pull Earth Moonshine Fields off the sobbing bully before he drowned in the toilet bowl.

Having learned that proactive violence was the only way to avoid being picked on, obtaining a Hunter license which basically gave him the license to beat the shit out of the next guy who looked at him wrong, became the natural way to go for Earth Moonshine ("Moonie") Fields.

Years of training turned his slender build into a sinewy, lean one. Hours spent under the sun tanned his skin, giving him the brown, wrinkled look of an outdoors person. Dangerous lessons under a stern and cruel mentor made him a master at Nen. All of this took but a few years, and he was lauded by many as a genius. The discovery that he was talented in the art of violence reaffirmed Moonie's philosophy on life: the one who hits the hardest laughs the hardest.

A couple of years out on the fields earned Moonie a reputation as a powerful and brutal Blacklist Hunter, who tended to shoot first and ask questions later. Eventually, criminals, upon hearing his name, would more likely drop to their knees and beg for mercy than risk his wrath. He beat them up anyway, because it was the principle of the thing. That worked well enough for him until the day he had run into Chairman Netero's youngest disciple.

It had all started off peacefully enough. Moonie had been summoned to the Shingen-ryu dojo to meet the Chairman of the Hunter's Association. "I have someone I want you to meet", the cryptic message had read. Upon arrival, Chairman Netero had sat him down and told him that he had recently taken in a new apprentice who had just obtained her license, quite talented, but a little stubborn and wouldn't Moonie with all his years of experience let Netero know how he felt about this young apprentice and whether she was good enough to become a Blacklist Hunter like she wanted to?

Moonie had been surprised. The last thing, he had thought, any mentor would want would be to expose a young, inexperienced apprentice to the infamously cruel and brutal Moonie Fields. However, since this was Netero who was asking him, Moonie agreed after cautioning Netero that he couldn't be responsible for any… damage the young apprentice might take. ("That's fine. I'm sure you wouldn't hurt her too much. You're a good man after all.")

Netero had looked so sadistically pleased when Moonie had consented to 'take a look' at the young apprentice that Moonie couldn't help wondering if Netero actually detested his student and wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible. The way he had laughed while he rang for his apprentice only added to Moonie's suspicion.

A short while later, the light patter of footsteps could be heard along the corridors and the door slid open to reveal a little girl, slightly over four feet tall, as pale, as round and as soft as a marsh-mellow.

Moonie had gaped in shock. After hearing that this new apprentice was a Hunter, he had expected someone a lot older, not this short little thing with pigtails and round, baby cheeks. She couldn't be more than ten years old.

"I'm thirteen," the kid had informed him in that overly reasonable tone highly intelligent and excessively serious children sometimes adopt. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"That is true," Netero had agreed mildly. "She is considered a teenager now, I believe."

Moonie had not been happy with that, but since he had already agreed to test this apprentice, he decided to go ahead with it. Facing her, he knelt two feet away and held out his palm. "I'm going to increase the Nen around my palm and attack you," he had told her. "I want to see how strong your Nen is. It will hurt so you better do your fu erh… darn best to defend against it. Got it, kid?"

"Of course," the child had conceded as if that made perfect sense to her and she knew more than Moonie with all his years of experience did. Moonie had glared at her. At least she was a fucking obnoxious kid. Now he felt better about breaking the bones in her body.

Still, he had to be careful not to end up killing her (if Netero really wanted to kill the kid by proxy, he had better damn well pay for it). Flooding his palm with Nen, he adjusted it until it was at a level that would harm but not kill the kid. Then without warning, he slammed his palm towards her shoulder.

He had expected his palm to connect with her shoulder. He had expected it to dislocate, even break. What he had not expected was to find himself slamming his palm into a wall of solid, burning Nen.

Shocked, Moonie had looked up to meet the kid's eyes. She looked back calmly, her expression neutral, even bored. In hindsight, Moonie was pretty certain that was why he tried to punch her in the face.

Not a good idea. Punching her face was like punching a concrete wall with his bare hands. The fingers of his fist had shattered and Moonie had drawn back his arm instinctively with a pained gasp.

Then Nen flooded the kid's body. One moment, Moonie had been cradling his fist, gasping in the pain, the next moment he had been flat on the ground, forced into a prostrate posture by overwhelming Nen pressing down on him like a ton of bricks. As he choked and gargled on her Nen flooding his airways, drowning him, it sudddenly occurred to him that maybe the one Netero wanted to kill by proxy was him.

That set off alarms in his brain, and he had struggled violently against her Nen. His own Nen, amplified by terror, roared against hers, and he felt the tatami mat beneath them shred. But it was too small… it was too little… he could feel her Nen slamming against him, overwhelming his senses and sending him into a blind panic.

The attack probably only lasted for a few seconds, but when she let him up again, Moonie had been panting and shaking like he had just ran a marathon. Struggling to his knees, he had found himself staring into black, black eyes gazing down at him with the mildest of curiosity.

"You're pretty strong," she had said with the innocent bluntness of a child. "I wanted to explode you from the inside out, but you managed to avoid that by countering my Nen with yours. Perhaps a few seconds more and I would have succeeded. You should thank Netero-sensei for ordering me to stop."

All the years of hard work fell to pieces at that moment. All the time spent building his reputation of cruelty, all the time spent training, all of it went down the drain in that instance. He had just lost to a fucking kid with a fucking private school accent. He didn't deserve the title of Blacklist Hunter Moonie Fields anymore. At that very moment when his life's work disintegrated before his eyes, Earth Moonshine Fields made a vow to himself. Until the day he could defeat Midoya June Kito in a fair fight, he would bear the shameful name of Earth Moonshine Fields. Only when she lay at his feet begging for mercy would be become Blacklist Hunter Moonie Fields again.

Hence, when the recruitment call came for those willing to hunt Midoya Kito, he had jumped at the chance. Surely, this was his chance to finally beat up that obnoxious little bitch. No one had any idea how her mounting successes on the field had grated at his nerves. No one had any idea how much he detested the way news of her triumphs always circulated around the HQs minutes after they happened. No one had any idea how much he loathed the way powerful Hunters twice her age whispered her name with a mixture of fear, respect and even desire. Every time he saw her smug face around the Association, he had to clench his fist to stop himself from pounding her face in. The worst thing, he had discovered very quickly, was that she never realized what she did to him. Kid still called him 'Uncle Moonie' for fuck's sake.

Scowling, Earth Moonshine Fields spat onto the ground and glared at the building Midoya Kito currently occupied. For the longest time, he had been stopped from joining the attacking forces. The higher-ups were fucking wimpy about her killing off the powerful hunters, so they had been reserving the more powerful soldiers for some undefined later attack. Moonie wasn't too sure why the fuck they were doing that. Something about being afraid it would screw with their election chances, probably. Fucking a-holes. Who cares about the fucking elections? They should have launched an attack full fucking force from the start. Well, that bitch was gonna get it soon. Word on the ground was that the higher-ups were thinking of launching a new attack. This time, they weren't going to play nice. This time, Two Star Blacklist Hunters were joining them; Two Motherfucking Star Blacklist Hunters like himself. That bitch was going down.

Just about the time Earth Moonshine Fields was fantasizing stabbing Midoya Kito in between the ribs and watching the light die off in her eyes, a huge freak of a monster exited the building. Immediately, Earth Moonshine Fields straightened up, staring intently at the monster. That was the "doorman" of this fucking building. Moonshine had seen how that freak guarded the fucking door, and it wasn't pretty at all. So far, it hadn't attacked anyone outside the building, but it was still Class A dangerous.

"Hey Moonie," his speaker rasped. "You see that?"

"Copy," Moonshine replied testily. "And how many times have I told you to call me Moonshine until I finally kick that bitch's ass, Carles?"

"I'll never understand you. You ain't the first hunter to be fucked up by her, y'know? She's been pissing on veteran hunters since she was a kid. Why get your panties in a knot about it?"

"Shut up or I'll stick a gun up your ass and pull the trigger."

"Okay, Mister That-Was-A-Really-Gay-Threat. You see what big, freaky and scary is doing?"

Moonshine glanced back at the freak. "It's heading for the car park."

"Huh. Doing valet duty, huh? There anyone else in the building other than our little angel?"

"Yeah. Apartments in the other wings are still occupied. Only Kito's block was evacuated. Could be getting a car for any occupant. Can anyone see if Kito is still in her penthouse?"

The earpiece buzzed for a short while then Carles's voice replied, "Negative, bro. But she went into the bathroom with her boy toy half an hour ago. Ain't difficult imagining what's going on in there. Did you see what they did last night? Seriously, fuck my life. I know Kito's appearance is a fucking lie, but damn I would never have guessed that woman is that flexible. Makes me wanna tap that ass myself. As long as she's wearing a bag over her head, I mean, 'cause damn is that face ugly."

"Carles, are you that eager to have your fucking dick ripped off? That woman's a black widow, dude. You heard what she did to the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan right?"

"Yeah, I heard about how she kept attaching weights to a rope tied around his balls till they tore off. Or that she has teeth between her pretty little legs that she used to cut off his dick during sex. Dude, that's all just rumours, man. There are like a hundred versions of what happened. Besides, she hasn't ripped her pretty little toy's head off yet. Like I said, he seemed pretty functional last night."

"Yeah, but he's a shit-lot better looking than you, pig-face." Moonshine ignored Carles's laughter rasping from static in his ear and glared at the freak. Carles didn't seem to think that something was wrong based on his playful and relaxed attitude, but Moonshine wasn't so sure. He really didn't like the fact that no one could see Kito or her little boy toy. No one knew who the fuck that dude was, but Quincy mentioned that he seemed pretty darn powerful and besides Timbal…

Moonshine's foot froze in mid-tap as a thought occurred to him, sending chills down his spine. Where was her disciple?

"Carles! Come in. Does anyone see Timbal?"

"Uh. Hold on. No… no, no one sees him."

"Well then where the fuck is he?"

"Where… oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck! Do you think that doorman…!"

"On it," Moonshine grounded out through gritted teeth.

"Whoa… wait, bro! Don't approach that freak yourself! It's dangerous! You listening? Come in, Moonshine! Come in!"

Snarling, Moonshine ripped the earpiece out of his ear and stomped towards the car park. Something was going down. He didn't know what, but something was definitely happening, and he would be damned if he let the chance to kill Midoya Kito slip by his fingers again.

Running among the cars, Moonshine sprinted towards the towering, suit-clad figure, clenching his fist to summon Nen to it. "Hey!" he shouted. "Hey uh… doorman! Stop right where you are!"

The giant turned around, moving slowly, like a bear turning to regard a pesky little fly buzzing around behind. Beady eyes stared at Moonshine, and the thick trunk of a neck bent significantly just so the doorman could meet his eyes. Moonshine was suddenly struck by how huge the guy was.

With great deference, the giant dropped the enormous sack it was carrying and bowed slightly. "Yes, sir?" the giant asked in a gravelly, deep voice.

"Erm…" Moonshine shook his sudden apprehension off. "Where are you going?"

"What business is that of yours, sir? You aren't a legal enforcement officer. I have no obligation to reply."

Right. "Look," Moonshine bristled, pointing angrily at the building. "Look at that. One of your tenants there is a criminal, okay, and not the cute kind. She's a murderer, a thief and all other kinds of criminal shit… we, the Hunter's Association are after her, and what you can do is stop killing us so we can get her."

"Which tenant?"

"Oh don't play dumb with…"

"Are you referring to Lady Qiao, head of the Red Lotus Clan, infamous for setting off the plague epidemic in Jorke that drove the Pi-Jorke people to extinction?" the giant continued calmly, overriding Moonshine's explosion. "She lives on the third floor. Or are you referring to Queen Annette, wife of the King of Abàin, who once summoned the prettiest ladies in her court to her room and poisoned all of them so none would compete with her for the King's attention? She lives on the twentieth floor. Or are you referring to Madam Green who once, when angered, sent a whole country to another dimension? She lives on the thirteenth floor. Or perhaps you are referring to Jane on the thirty-sixth."

Moonshine blinked, suddenly uncertain of himself and unable to think of a good response. "Uh…Who's Jane?" he asked awkwardly.

"No one knows; she turns all who see her into mannequins, forever trapped in their own head and unable to die. I've heard she's also on the black list."

Moonshine growled. "I'm not referring to any of them. I'm referring to Midoya Kito, alright?"

"Ah, I see. Miss Midoya. Yes, she is a very dangerous and powerful person, but hardly more or less cruel than the other persons I mentioned. At least her actions are usually less destructive, except for the few times she accidentally started wars… or that time she caused the extinction of... But those were mistakes, and it is only human to make mistakes. Why is she being targeted?"

"You ask a lot of questions for a servant," Moonshine sneered, partly because the question had shaken him.

The giant smiled a grisly, yellow smile. "It is my duty to protect the residents of this building. I only ask what I must know to carry out my duties," he said. "Since you wouldn't reply, I hope you will excuse me…"

"Whoa! Hold it!" Moonshine snarled, reaching out to grip the giant's arm. "Where the fuck do you think you are going?"

"That is none of your business, sir," the giant repeated, but his voice was a lot colder now.

"Yes, it is," Moonshine growled. "It is now, you fucking freak."

The giant stopped. He turned around and looked down on Moonshine. Then his eyes started to glow an eerie, sickly green. Slowly, he held out a massive fist that started getting bigger… bigger… bigger… "What did you call me?" he asked, his voice hollow and empty.

Fuck it, that guy was massive. The fist was now the size of Moonshine's shoe cabinet. But if Moonshine kept backing down from everyone who could throw a harder punch than him, he would be 'Moonshine' for the rest of his fucking life. "I said you're a 'fucking freak'," he growled. "Whatcha gonna do about that, lapdog?"

The freak didn't even bother with a reply. He simply swung a fist the size of a boulder at him. Fortunately, Moonshine was ready for it; he had already seen it happen to the hundreds of hunters who had tried to invade the building through the lobby. Concentrating Nen into his legs, Moonshine blasted off from the ground, shattering concrete and asphalt as he did so. With an agile flip, he landed a good ten feet away, glaring at that fucker who just tried to hit him.

Earth Moonshine Fields's body flooded with Nen and the nails on his hand started to lengthen. Oh it was so on.

So focused on the massive monster that had started to expand all over was Earth Moonshine Fields that he totally failed to notice when the sack the doorman had dropped started to move… and open…

Carles Johnson was sitting in God's Eye when the car park exploded in a mushroom cloud of asphalt and car parts. The God's Eye was an invention of Carles himself. It was a metal sphere just large enough to fit in two grown men (or one Carles Johnson), floating in the centre with tendrils and tendrils of wires attached in bunches to the back of the neck. The interior of the sphere was covered entirely with screens, each two feet by one. Each screen was linked to a camera planted in various strategic locations around Kito's building. Some of them were planted by Carles's men. The rest were cameras that had been put in by the security of the building in the first place. From the God's Eye, Carles Johnson could use his Nen to manually operate each and every camera and microphone that was planted.

This was a job Carles Johnson personally preferred. Heavily obese from a young age, Carles never had much of a chance becoming a Hunter, since the prerequisite of being one was fantastic fighting skills. However, Carles Johnson had a gift; he had the gift that allowed him to turn electronics against their owners, hijack them and use them for his own purposes. This was a gift he had developed early by himself, and was what had led him to Dr Quincy in the first place. Very quickly, Carles had turned from scientific experiment to eager helper. Even if he couldn't fight, he was pretty much capable of watching everything that happened within five hundred feet of the God's Eye. That was, in many ways, a much more useful and much rarer talent than excellent fighting skills.

At the moment, Carles Johnson was struggling not to have a heart attack as he watched Moonie… Moonshine fight that fucking freak that had broken the spines of hundreds of hunters. Because, as nasty as Moonie was, he was also the only one other than Quincy who actually appreciated Carles's value and Carles liked that man as much as he could like something that wasn't inorganic and under his control.

Puffy face turning red and steaming with sweat, Carles paged into Quincy's earpiece. "Dr Quincy," he said, stammering as he had a tendency to do when he was nervous. "Dr Quincy. Do you see the feed I am sending to your screen? Moonie is fighting the doorman in the…"

"Yes, I can see for myself, idiot. I'm not blind."

"Yes, of course. We need to send reinforcements…"

"We will do nothing of that sort. For all we know, Midoya sent the doorman out to distract us from watching her. You will keep an eye on the building."

"But…!" Carles growled when Quincy hung up on him. "Fuck!" Rotating in mid-air like a round, pale ball, Carles looked worryingly at the screen where Moonie was fighting the doorman. The nearest security camera was too far from the car park to get a good view of it; the best he could say was that Moonie was still alive, which counted for something at least.

Wiping the sweat off his face, Carles returned his gaze to the Kito's penthouse. From the perspective of the camera they had positioned on the opposite building, they could see about half of her living room. She wasn't in there, but that didn't mean anything. Biting his nails nervously, Carles glanced at Moonie again. The fight was still going on. Fuck…

"Let's wait here for the car."

Blinking in surprise, Carles quickly scanned through the flow of data streaming through his head. It informed him that the voice he heard had been picked up by the microphone near the entrance of the building. Immediately, the turned his gaze towards the specific screen that gave him a fairly decent image of the entrance. As was the case with the car park, he couldn't zoom in for a close up, but he could see enough to know that a man and a woman were standing at the entrance.

"Where is that stupid servant," the man was saying, his voice jarringly effeminate and cruel, "He's been gone for all of five minutes." Carles looked the man over. Average-build made shorter by a slouch, dressed in a black suit; the man would hardly stand out were it not for the horrible pits that covered his face, no doubt the result of some kind of pox. The nose was slightly off-centred, as if it had been broken before. Thin lips were twisted in a cruel smirk. Carles, who had been the victim of men like this most of his life, disliked him immediately.

"Are you sure it is safe to stand out here?" the woman said, her voice surprisingly low and husky. "There's been so much fighting lately."

Carles looked at the woman then looked again. His jaw dropped. Holy. Fucking. Shit. His eyes trailed over long, thick, dark hair that reached a pinched torso, clad in the slinkiest dress he had ever seen. It revealed most of white, creamy breasts framed by a gold chain and full, soft thighs covered with black, silk stockings. Her face turned ever so slightly towards the camera and he got the impression of smooth, flawless skin and full red lips. The rest of her face was covered by those huge sunglasses fashionable people seemed to favour, but even with them, she was a fucking bombshell. Holy shit. That was the sexiest piece of ass he had seen in a while.

"Of course it's fine," the man replied irritably. "They're not after us. Just shut up and stand still. Remember, I didn't hire you for your brains."

"Yes sir," the woman said meekly and bowed her head slightly. Carles felt sorry for her and wished she would turn just a little more to the left so he could look down her dress. "I was just afraid we would get caught up in something…"

"What the fuck! I told you to shut up, didn't I? I said we're safe, so we're safe. Are you dumb or what?"

"No… no sir! I didn't mean…"

"Or maybe, you're hoping to get caught up in something." Carles swallowed nervously as the man turned towards the woman, his posture low and aggressive, like a wild animal. "Maybe you want one of those hunters to come down here and get you."

"No… no… I didn't…"

"What were you hoping they would do if they came down here? This?"

Carles's eyes widened in shock as he watched the man shove the woman roughly against the doorframe of the entrance and touch… "No!" the woman cried. "Stop!" Her voice was frightened and panicked… and... Oh fuck. Carles wiped more sweat off his face as the… the activities continued on screen. Good fucking lord, when was the last time he heard something like that? Oh right, last night, when he downloaded those videos off that site. But those… those were nowhere as hot as watching this woman gyrate and gasp and…

"Erm… Carles… are you seeing this?" someone mumbled in his ear.

"Yeah… yeah I am."

"They erm… look kind of suspicious, don't you think?"

"Huh… I… uh… I guess…"

"We should probably keep an eye on them a little longer… and all that, right?"

"Yeah… yeah, we should."

"And I mean erm… if you find it too erm… tiring, I can watch them and you can watch Moonie."

"Huh? Erm… no, it's fine. It's fine. It's uh… my job after all…"

"Yeah… yeah I guess. Whoa… that looks… erm… what that guy is doing looks really suspicious… so I'll just…"

A car pulled up at the entrance.

"Oh, our ride is here," the man said, letting go of the woman who sank to the floor abruptly. "Come on, get your ass moving."

"Yes sir," the woman gasped, struggling to get to her feet.

"Seriously! What the fuck?" the man shouted. Angrily, he picked the woman up and flung her into the car. "Stupid bitches…" he grumbled as he climbed into the car.

Slowly, Carles leaned back slightly, breathing hard, as the car drove off the screen. He glanced at the car park guiltily, but Moonie seemed fine for the moment. That was good, because Carles had a tiny problem to take care of…

Safely in the car, Kuroro tugged at the latex mask on his face that gave the impression of heavily scarred skin. With a relieved sigh, he peeled off the itchy material then glanced at the shaking figure curled up on the seat next to him. With a slightly less relieved sigh and a more exasperated one, he asked, "Is it really that funny, Midoya?"

Midoya looked up from her position on the seat, shaking violently with hysterical laughter. Shaking her head, she pressed her hands to her streaming eyes and continued to laugh. Her exaggeratedly over-drawn red lips had smudged as had her eye-liner and the thick layer of foundation that had given her the appearance of perfect skin.

"Is it really that funny?" Kuroro repeated dubiously to Pepeka, who was in the driver's seat.

"Of course it's not," Pepeka growled through gritted teeth, his hair messed up from his time in the sack. "I can't believe I drove up to you fucking groping sensei like she was a… a…"

"Commercial sex worker?" Kuroro suggested and Midoya's laughter actually doubled in intensity. A frown creased Kuroro's face. "Now why is that funny?"

From the front, Pepeka sighed and shook his head. "Sensei finds exhibitionism hilarious," he explained, looking embarrassed. "No idea why."

"I see. No wonder she incorporated it into her plan."

"Wouldn't be fun if I didn't," Midoya giggled breathlessly. "Oh, that was wonderful, Kuroro. Simply wonderful!"

Kuroro smiled slightly at that. Midoya's plan had been surprisingly simple and efficient. First, get Pepeka in a sack, and Kuroro and herself in heavy makeup. Then get the doorman to carry Pepeka as far he could to the car park where there were several vehicles present. There, Midoya had been certain some of the hunters would initiate an attack on the doorman or at least start a brawl. During the distraction, Pepeka would sneak out, hot-wire a car and drive to the entrance of the building to pick them up. To distract anyone who might be keeping an eye on the car park, Kuroro and Midoya had put up a show. Once they were in the car, they could drive to the docks and use a boat to leave York Shin. It was all beautifully easy and Kuroro couldn't help admiring the simplicity of it all.

Finally, Midoya's laughter died down enough for her to sit up and pull the dress down over her lace panties. "Oh Kuroro," she said, her voice weak from laughter, "that was the best distraction ever. Can you believe that we just made out in front of five hundred hunters? Oh my… we made out in front of Quincy." A giggle escaped her lips and she covered her mouth, shaking with glee again.

"Indeed, I can believe it," Kuroro replied, ignoring the glare Pepeka was giving him via the rear-view mirror. "I also believe that I now understand why you would go through your ah… whip-and-boots phrase now. Getting you to submit to me, even if it was only an act, was actually quite arousing." He paused and regarded her breathless state with great interest. "Shall I help you remove the corset before it suffocates you?"

"Yes please," Midoya gasped.

The lacing was complicated, but once it was off, Midoya's waist expanded significantly as she inhaled deeply. "Better?"

"Immensely," Midoya breathed, rubbing her stomach. "Oh, that cruel torture device…" She breathed in a bit more then slumped against the car seat with a happy sigh. After a while, she looked at Kuroro from under heavily mascaraed lashes. "Did I hear you mention something about submission being quite arousing?" she purred.

"Yes, you are quite correct. I do find forcing you to submit arousing."

"Interesting. I find the idea of forcing you to submit… fascinating."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yes, that is so. I let you grope and push me around in front of my peers. Surely it is time for you to reciprocate the favour."

"What? Letting you grope and push me around in front of your disciple?"

"Kuroro!" Pepeka shouted angrily. "Don't you dare…!"

"Not a bad idea actually."

"Sensei!" Pepeka yelped, horrified. "I don't want to… to… see…"

"Right. Sorry. I forgot how delicate you are." With a smile, Midoya pressed a button and a heavily-tinted window slid up between them and a shocked Pepeka. "Now then," she murmured, eyes half-lidded, "let's see who gets who to submit first, Kuroro. Loser has to put on the collar… "

A/N: And… things are just going to get worse. What can I say? Throw Midoya and Kuroro together and nothing can come out of it but strange and disturbing things. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope it wasn't too scandalous for some of you (what can I say, I scandalised myself enough that I was uncomfortable uploading this chapter).

Trivial: Up till this date, Moonie still could not figure out what Netero had hoped to accomplish by introducing him to Midoya in that manner. All sorts of theories had gone through his mind, ranging from simple theories like Netero wanting to put Moonie back into his place to complicated conspiracy theories about aliens, cyborgs and Russian spies. Many a sleepless night had been spent wondering whether strange creatures would suddenly erupt from his chest, or descend from the ceiling to carry him off to alternate worlds filled with bizarre, mind-bending monsters.

Unbeknownst to Moonie, the truth was, Netero hadn't been lying at all; he had genuinely wanted Moonie to assess if Midoya had enough talent to be a Blacklist Hunter.