A/N:Finally! This is the sequel to A Series of Bizarre and Mildly Humourous Events! I apologize for taking so long to come out with it. In my defense, the story developed sentience and tried to kill me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, and do remember to leave a review at the end! I'm trying to update the story one chapter a week, hopefully during the weekends when people have time to read it.
Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me. I do not own the copyright to any of these materials. This is a fanfiction written solely for the purposes of entertainment, and the views stated by the characters do not necessarily reflect the views of the author. If you wish to host this story on a site outside of fanfiction (dot) net, please contact the author for permission first.
Weird Ones, Pariston and Uncomfortable Discoveries
Fifteen minutes after Midoya disappeared into the bathroom, eliciting a series of gut-wrenching, horrified screams from Pepeka ("The person screaming is Pepeka Timbal, Midoya's disciple. Be nice to him."), Kuroro started explaining the situation as it stood to the Ryodan.
Just as Kuroro brought them up to date, a group of Hunters burst in through the window. For a moment, the two different groups had stared at each other over the expanse that was Midoya's bedroom in utter shock. The Hunters had, undoubtedly, been warned that Midoya had the help of Pepeka Timbal and one unknown male. However, they hadn't expected to walk into a room full of powerful Nen-users, and the sudden realisation that they did not have that much of an advantage had frozen them in their tracks. Kuroro, on the other hand, was exasperated into inaction by how Midoya tended to have the tightest security measures at her doors but none at her windows, and how that knowledge was publicly known. Then the moment broke, and the two groups flew at each other in a clash of powers.
The Ryodan members, Kuroro decided after a split second's observation, were slightly better, more experienced fighters, but the Hunters scored in terms of quantity. Certainly, the two Hunters who converged on Kuroro in a blur of claws, fangs and silk scarves (really much scarier than it sounded) were powerful enough to put up a serious fight. That made for the necessity for some rather inventive dodging before Kuroro found an opening. He took it, darting in-between the two fighters to take out the one with the claws and fangs. The young man (with a lean and hungry look, Kuroro's poetic side insisted) dropped to the ground, eyes wide with the blank, sightless stare of a fully paralyzed man.
Brandishing his Benz knife, Kuroro had barely just turned to face the other understandably stunned Hunter when Midoya emerged from the bathroom. She took one look at the chaos that was her bedroom and slapped the nearest Hunter across the face. The Hunter flew across the length of the room, crashed into a lovely, and probably very expensive, flower decoration, and dropped dead, his neck snapped in half.
"Ouch," Shalnark commented, wincing, as he broke his opponent's nose and jaw.
"Arrrgggghhhhhh!" his opponent responded, screaming wordlessly in pain before choking to death on his own blood.
Then, obviously having heard the commotion, Pepeka emerged from the bathroom, shirtless and still wet. He took one look around, and the expression of hostility on his face melted into confusion. "Why are there so many people here and who's on our side?" he demanded, glaring at all the people in the room with equal annoyance.
"The weird ones are on our side," Midoya replied, slapping another Hunter into a wall, where he crumbled to the floor, bleeding out of his ears.
"Oh. Thanks sensei." Without another word, Pepeka leapt into the battle, blazing with Nen and howling for blood.
"Why are we the weird ones?" Feitan asked, bemused, as Pepeka body slammed the Hunter he had been fighting and crushed her skull between two powerful hands. "And why did that buffoon just steal my prey?"
"He's a psychologically well-adjusted member of normal society," Kuroro replied diplomatically. "He doesn't know what he's doing."
"Stuff it, Lucifer!" Pepeka howled, having instinctively sensed an insult in Kuroro's comment, and continued kicking people about, massive arms bulging and glowing with Nen.
"Doesn't he remind you of Ubo?" Nobunaga asked suddenly, eyes lighting up. "That buffoon, I mean. He's kind of like Ubo, isn't he, except for the fact that he is socially well-adjusted and not that hairy?"
"You know," Phinx commented casually as he broke a couple of necks, "we all liked Ubo very much and we were pretty sad he died, but your obsession with Ubo is getting a little freaky."
"What the hell? What does that mean, Phinx?"
"There's nothing wrong with obsession," Kuroro observed from behind them as he dodged the silk scarf nimbly. "Obsession is but the body informing you of what you desire most. There is nothing wrong with listening to the demands of your body."
"Dancho, that totally does not make Nobu any less freaky."
"I am not freaky!" Nobunaga shouted then was forced to dodge as Midoya sent a Hunter flying in his direction. "Kito!" he roared angrily.
"Sorry," Midoya replied cheerfully. "I am having too much fun. I haven't been in a brawl this confusing and messy since that time I ran off with the crown prince of Jio." She paused to break a Hunter's arm and added, almost sheepishly, "In my defense, I didn't realize the cute, fluffy dog was the crown prince of Jio…"
"It's an easy mistake to make," Kuroro said comfortingly as he finally caught hold of his opponent's neck and broke it. Satisfied with the dead body in his hands, he looked around idly. Pepeka was finishing off the last of the Hunters, the rest of the Ryodan were standing around staring at the dismembered bodies on the ground, and Midoya was wiping her hands on the bathrobe she was wearing. "It seems your enemies have found us, Midoya."
"Annoying buggers," Midoya agreed with a great deal more cheer than he would have expected, carefully stepping over dead bodies until she reached the Hunter Kuroro had paralyzed with his Benz knife. "You kept this one alive."
"For questioning," Kuroro confirmed. "While it is all fine and well that we are seeking Pariston's help, I feel the least we could do is find out exactly who is the mastermind behind the attacks on you. It might give us a bit of an advantage when choosing our allies." He propped the wide-eyed Hunter up and administered the antidote. While the Hunter recovered, he secured his arms and legs with the Hunter's own belt.
"Shall I begin?" Feitan asked, stepping forward automatically, but Midoya held up a hand to stop him.
"Let me try," Midoya suggested.
"What? Why is she stealing my prey too? Don't tell me she is well-adjusted too! I mean, she's screwing Dancho! How well-adjusted can she be?" Feitan growled at Phinx, looking annoyed. Phinx shrugged, not looking particularly bothered.
Ignoring him, Midoya prodded the Hunter who was slowly starting to twitch. "Can you talk yet?" she asked kindly.
"Blirtch," the Hunter slurred, giving her an unfocused glare.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't understand that." Midoya's voice was as soft and as a gentle as a down pillow. It was strangely hypnotic and made Kuroro want to snuggle up to her.
"No, you got it wrong," Feitan protested, obviously immune to soft, cuddly down pillows. "That's not how you torture somebody. You have to start with the fingernails. For something that can grow back, they sure cause a lot of pain. Then you move on to the finger joints. Those wouldn't grow back properly, and there are so many of them. You can spend the whole day just cracking finger joints. It's quite addictive, like eating peanuts."
"Thank you, I shall take that into consideration," Midoya replied politely. Then she prodded the Hunter with her toe again. "Can you speak now?"
"You are in deep shit," the Hunter mumbled through numbed lips. "Teaming up with the Ryodan? We always knew you were trouble, you fucking traitor, but even this is beyond anything we ever imagined. Don't know what Netero was thinking taking you in as his disciple and letting you…"
"The Ryodan?" Pepeka interrupted, looking shocked. "These are the Ryodan?"
"Ryodan?" Midoya asked, looking just as surprised. "I have teamed up with the Ryodan?"
"We have teamed up with the Ryodan?" Pepeka squeaked, horrified.
"Technically, you haven't," Kuroro told them. "They kind of crashed the party themselves, as the saying goes."
"Oh right, technically, I haven't," Midoya told the Hunter. "Anyway, that's not important. What I want to know is which Zodiac member sent you."
The Hunter glared woozily at her. "I ain't telling you," he protested. "There's nothing you can do that will make me tell you."
"Fingernails and needles?" Feitan suggested helpfully. "Pliers and fingers? Oh, oh! I know! Both at the same time."
Gently, almost maternally, Midoya leaned over the prone figure on the floor... and smiled. Pepeka and Kuroro, who both knew the drill, hid behind sturdy furniture immediately. The rest of the Ryodan stared and gaped. The Hunter's face turned a deathly shade of white. "Which member of the Zodiac sent you?" she asked, her voice as soft and as kind as a teddy bear that had been animated by a demon and was now going on a murderous rampage around a lovely suburban home with a chainsaw and a bag full of jalapenos.
"I don't know. We got our orders from Quincy. Quincy's the only one who knows which member of the Zodiac is after you," the Hunter (who had not survived this long by being stupid) replied immediately. "But what I do know is that all of the Zodiacs are moving to The Fort, so if you want to like hunt them down or something, that's where you should go."
"All of the Zodiacs? Including Pariston?" Midoya asked, frowning slightly.
"Yes, Ma'am. That's what we were told."
"I see," Midoya said, her voice motherly and gentle. "It is very kind of you to tell me that."
"Not a problem," the Hunter said, bravely smiling through his terror.
"If I find out you lied to me though," Midoya went on, gently tapping the side of her face in thought. "I will…" She paused. "I think I'll leave that up to your imagination. Just remember this. Whatever your imagination conjures, it will be ten times less painful and less terrifying than what I will do to you. Of course, the price you will have to pay if you ever tell anyone you saw me with the Ryodan will be… quite hefty too. No worries, I will not kill you. I am not that merciful." She smiled brightly. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all," the Hunter (who had already decided to sell his license and retire from the industry) replied swiftly.
"Well then," Midoya said, straightening up and brushing her hands together. "I am very glad we could solve this amicably." She turned and regarded the Ryodan members, who were still staring at her with varying degrees of admiration and dread, with an absent-minded smile.
"You have to teach me how to do that," Feitan told her. "It's not bloody enough for me, truth be told, and I feel like your technique fails when it comes to the quantity and quality of screaming, but somehow, that was probably the most frightening interrogation I have ever seen."
"Thank you," Midoya beamed. "Sure, I'll teach you if you want, the next time we catch another Hunter."
"Good," Feitan said, looking as pleased as he ever could.
Though Kuroro was happy that Midoya was getting along with the other members of the Ryodan, there were matters at hand that were in more urgent need of discussion. "Midoya," he interrupted, "what is this Fort and where is it?"
"I have no idea," Midoya replied cheerfully. "Only thing I know about it, is that it is a secret base that the higher ranked Hunters retire to in the event of a nuclear attack, zombie apocalypse or any other end-of-the-world situation You know, a bunker to hole up in and make babies until whatever is killing people outside the bunker has gone away."
"Aren't you a higher ranked Hunter?" Machi asked reasonably. "Why don't you know where this Fort is?"
"Because 'an attack by Blacklist Hunter Midoya' is considered an apocalyptic situation of sorts," Midoya confessed, smiling bashfully.
There was a moment of silence then Phinx said, "Fuck, I want to be considered an apocalyptic situation."
"Me too," Nobunaga seconded enviously.
"We should be on the list," Shalnark agreed. "I mean, I could shut down the life support system in all the hospitals in York Shin City in thirty seconds."
"And I can burn the whole city to crisp in under a minute," Feitan added.
"Dancho! Let's prove that we can be apocalyptic situations too!" Nobunaga shouted excitedly.
"All in good time," Kuroro said (though he had to admit, it was a very intriguing prospect, trying to fit the Ryodan onto that list). "We have other more immediate things to attend to. Midoya, regarding Pariston…"
"Yes, that terrible, sneaky bastard," Midoya said, her frown deepening, "He has left for the Fort without informing us. He is planning something, that bastard, and I have no idea what it is. He might be setting me up, he might be setting the Zodiac out to get me up. If I had to guess, I would say he is doing both at the same time."
"Sneaky bastard," Pepeka agreed, looking frustrated. "What the fuck do we do now, sensei?"
All eyes went to Midoya. She smiled grimly and said, "What else? We contact that bastard and ask him about it."
All things considered, Pariston was extremely pleased with himself. The game was still on, still fiery hot, thanks to dear Midoya breaking out of her penthouse like that (and what excellent footage there was; all for his private viewing of course; blackmail is so passé these days). At this point, Pariston wasn't entirely sure which side was going to win, or even which side he hoped would win. But that uncertainly only made the game all that more exciting. This was the best thing that had happened to him since the Chimera Ant mission.
Smiling, Pariston looked around his office in the Fort. Undoubtedly, Midoya would discover soon enough that all the Zodiacs had moved to the Fort. Doubly undoubtedly, she would be extremely annoyed that he had moved from the Port City HQ to this unknown location without telling her. Pariston looked forward to that. Midoya did the most amazing things when she was annoyed. The levels of creative violence and downright devious plotting she could ascend to were astounding. The woman was amazingly intelligent and devious; she could easily turn the entire world into her playground and revel in it as the world burned. However, whether because she was reluctant to break the world or just plain lazy, she had never attempted to actually do it. But Pariston knew her well, knew how fragile her restraints were. With just the smallest push, the tiniest nudge… the world would become a much more interesting place, thanks to the lovely Midoya.
"Sir, coffee."
Pariston turned to bestow his smile on the bald man next to him. "Thank you, Beans," he beamed. "How are the other Zodiacs doing? I hope they have settled in quite comfortably."
"Yes, I believe they have, sir," Beans replied.
"Excellent… ah…" Pariston stared at the laptop on the table that had started to beep. "A video call." He pressed the 'accept' button without bothering to check who was calling. Only a handful of people had access to his personal line anyway, and all of them were trusted allies to varying degrees. In hindsight, he really should have been a little more careful.
Midoya's face popped onto screen; surprisingly clean of makeup but with a smear of blood just next to a terrifying, blood-chilling smile. "Greetings my dearest Pariston," she greeted cheerfully. "Do you like sex toys?"
Beans gasped and dropped the cup of coffee. Pariston's smile twitched. "Hello dear Midoya. How on earth did you get my contact details? Well, no matter. It is good to see you are still alive," he said, smiling widely. "Goodness, what a naughty question though. I wonder how I should reply." He paused and pursed his lips. "What are you going to do if I say yes?"
"I would find you and shove five up a very uncomfortable place in your body of course, thus curing you of your fondness for sex toys for the rest of your life," she replied, the smile on her face widening with genuine the background, a male voice gasped in horror. Pariston recognized the boisterous voice of Pepeka Timbal. It was quickly hushed by another male voice, this one cooler and much more melodious. That must be the unidentified male figure who had been spotted living with Midoya.
"Ah, I guess you are saying I am fucked," Pariston said sadly. "You must be angry with me. Have I done something to earn your wrath?"
"You mean other than running off to the Fort after telling me you will meet me in Port City? Dear Pariston, it is times like this I sincerely wish the HA had given me the nuclear sub I asked for instead of this stupid luxury yacht."
"My dear, surely you don't mean that," Pariston said mournfully. "I would be truly sad if you tried to kill me using a bomb instead of your bare hands."
"Kill you? Dear Pariston, why on earth would I want to kill you when I can do other far more interesting things to you? You will never guess how much damage radiation can do to human beings without actually killing them. I have always wished to test the theory that prolonged exposure to large amounts of radiation can truly alter the human body at the genetic level and result in the most fascinating and hideous mutations." A chill actually ran down Pariston's back at that, and he wasn't utterly sure it was just from fear. "But that is for later, my beloved. Now, as you must have guessed, I have some questions for you…"
"The Fort is in the continent of Hun," Pariston said then smiled at the surprised look on her face. "It's in the mountain Hun-ein. To be accurate, the entire mountain is the Fort. Given that it is the largest mountain in Hun, I doubt you will miss it."
Midoya was silent for a while, looking at his face searchingly with those startling intense eyes of hers. Finally she said lightly, "I doubt I will too. Pariston, now that I will be seeing you at the Fort instead of Port City, I am going to be encountering most of the other members of the Zodiac. So tell me, which Zodiac is trying to kill me? Don't bother saying you don't know. I already know that you know."
Pariston grinned boyishly. "If I told you everything you need to know, this game would hardly be fun now, would it?" his smile widened at the look on her face. "Dear Midoya, my sweet little Midoya. All the answers are to be found at the Fort. Once you reach, we will have a wonderful time sorting this mess out together. You have no idea how much I have missed working alongside you."
The image on screen nodded grimly. "Very well, if that is how you want to play this," she said. Then she leaned closer to the screen and said, "When I asked Pariston if he liked sex toys, it was a rhetoric question." Beans blinked, having realised she was addressing him. Pariston watched her face curiously, wondering what she was up to. "I know full well that he likes sex toys because he once turned up at a brothel I own. Of course he didn't know I owned it then. But he certainly knew it was a brothel that catered to a very specific brand of fetishes." Beans's jaw dropped. Pariston's jaw clenched though his smile remained. "He liked the dominatrix he hired a lot. Guess who saw Pariston in the lobby and decided to come down and mess with him? And guess who had the foresight to take videos." A wide, feral grin spread across her face as she purred, "My, my, this game of yours is really quite fun, Pariston. I think I am beginning to enjoy myself. See you at the Fort, love." Abruptly, the call ended.
Ignoring Beans's accusing stare, Pariston closed the laptop and breathed in deeply. Apparently blackmail wasn't too passé for Midoya. Well, he should have known that. In some surprising ways, Midoya, scion of one of the oldest families in York Shin, was quite an old-fashioned lady. Still, this video had proven his judgment of her accurate. The levels of creative violence she could ascend to… were absolutely fascinating. He just had to find a way to direct it against someone else other than himself.
Unless she donned the dominatrix outfit again…
Pepeka plopped down roughly onto a conveniently placed couch. "Brothel?" he croaked. "Sensei, did you say 'brothel'?"
Everyone turned to stare at him.
"Yes, I did say 'brothel'. What's wrong?" Midoya asked.
"Sensei… you own a brothel?"
"Of course I do," Midoya said, looking puzzled. "Everyone knows that, right?" A chorus of positive responses greeted that statement.
"Except for Pepeka, evidently," Kuroro commented dryly. "I am beginning to think he doesn't know about… well, you, Midoya."
"Know what about sensei?" Pepeka demanded, looking annoyed.
"That Midoya is June Kito, rich heiress and honorary Mafia. Didn't we mention this the previous time when I was trying to obtain the Greed Island console?"
"What? No! I remember you mentioned the name, but no one told me that was sensei!" Pepeka exploded. "What the fuck…! Why do I not know this? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you tell Kuroro and not me? I've known you so much longer! Damn it, I will never understand you, sensei! You are an honorary Mafia? Why do you associate with the Mafia? Those buggers are fucking dangerous! One wrong step and the whole organization will be after you. I know, I know," Pepeka went on when Kuroro opened his mouth to protest, "The Genei Ryodan fucked the Mafia over and got away with it. But that's different. You guys don't even exist legally. Midoya-sensei has a legal existence. Hell, if she really is June Kito, she has a fucking huge legal existence. She can't just up and vanish."
"I'm sure she has her reasons," Kuroro said with a shrug. ("I forgot," Midoya whispered guiltily in a voice soft enough that only Kuroro heard.) "There are benefits to cooperating with the Mafia. After all, the sex industry run by the mafia is a very profitable one."
"One brothel isn't a fucking sex industry, Kuroro! How much can one brothel earn in a day?"
"I believe Midoya owns more than one brothel. A closer estimate would be… twenty?"
Pepeka's jaw dropped.
"Closer but far from accurate, dear Kuroro. I own over half the red-light district in York Shin. That's more like fifty brothels."
Pepeka's mouth remained hanging open. "Do you mean to tell me…" he said slowly, "that Midoya-sensei is… the primary force behind the sex industry in York Shin?"
"Oh yes," Midoya agreed. "It's a multi-billion enterprise."
For the rest of the trip, Pepeka remained red faced and utterly silent.
A/N: This is, unfortunately, an unforgivably short chapter. The reason being that my laptop had decided to expire on me in the most abrupt and rude way, thus depriving me of the rest of the story. Still, I wanted to deliver a chapter this week, as promised, hence I uploaded whatever I could find at the moment. I promise the next chapter will be a lot better, and as usual, hope that you, my dear reader, still enjoyed this chapter anyway.
Trivial: In truth, Pariston hadn't really been into sadomasochism. That night he had walked into a Kito-owned brothel, he had been on a mission. The mission had been relatively simple: find and kill a specific politician whose policies were dangerous for the stability of York Shin society. Given the fact that his target was a well-placed, highly powerful one, his mission had necessitated that he remained unidentifiable as the killer, and thus he had planned to pass off as a customer. When he saw the dominatrix coming up to meet him however, all thoughts of completing his mission had flown out of his head.
The dominatrix, was by no means beautiful. She was short, on the plump side, and any attractive features that may be on her face had been hidden by a black leather mask that covered her entire face. However, the moment she walked into the lobby, all eyes had went to her. It was the way she moved, back straight, head held high that drew attention to her. She held herself like a queen and moved like a leopard; her eyes, barely visible behind the mask, were sharp, predatory and hungry; her lips were curled into a smile that was both friendly and aggressive, respectful and demeaning, confident and reserved. She did not have a whip on her, and save for the mask, wore none of the paraphernalia most of her ilk wore. Instead, she wore a long, flowing white dress, more appropriate on the set of some medieval drama than in a brothel of this kind. Yet, she still gave the impression that she could bend any man to her will, could force any man to his knees, make any man cry out in pleasure and pain, for the whip she wielded was in her mind, and that was a whip more superior to any physical one.
Never in his life had Pariston wanted a woman more than he did at that moment. It didn't help that he recognised Midoya behind the mask. It only made him one to play with her more.
Three very painful and unforgettable hours later, Pariston had finally found himself limping out of the brothel, trying to figure out if he should head for his hotel or a hospital. It was remarkable he was still alive, and even more remarkable that after her session he had still managed to complete his mission successfully. If he hadn't used Nen to protect himself during certain moments, he would undoubtedly be dead by now. Midoya obviously had some very serious issues with him. Still, Pariston mused, as he climbed gingerly into his car, all things given, he decided that he could call this a rather productive night and leave it as that.
A few years later, sitting in the Fort and ignoring Beans glaring at him accusingly, Pariston wondered if he could still call that night a successful one, given how things have turned out. After some serious thought, he decided he could, as long as he could get Midoya to share the videos with him.