Of course he could always throw the letter away but, Naruto was weak, he'd been weakening every day since the night that plagues his nightmares happened.
Naruto had survived the streets, had survived the orphanage and he'd survived for three years with no money, juggling work and school and a ratty apartment.
He'd survived months of living with a spoilt, emotionless rich boy who hated his guts.
He'd even survived falling for said boy. But surviving without him? That, that was making Naruto weak.
Sasuke had become Naruto's strength, Sasuke was the hand that lead him, helped him, shook him awake softly in the mornings so he wasnt late for work. Sasuke had saved him from bills and starving because he had no money for food that week and from being thrown out onto the streets again. Sasuke had saved Naruto from being alone.
Sasuke had saved Naruto from himself.
It didnt matter that he was now Arashi Namikaze, Naruto would never grow into that name, it was like a pair of shoes three sizes too big. He didnt have the strength, the will to work on his fresh start. He was too co dependant, too sick on Sasuke to be able to do anything more than exisit without him.
Iruka knew it, that was why he never pushed Naruto to talk, he just sat and listened to the mundane shit that Naruto said his only intention to fill the silence, spewing usless anectdotes to fill the cracks in his life. Arashi Namikaze had become the husk that Naruto hid in, it was Arashi that went to the nursery every day and looked after the kids, it was Arashi that went out for coffee with the other teachers and volunteered at the local orphanage. It was Arashi that lived every day whilst Naruto curled up inside himself, wasting away in the dark. Every little thing that had made Naruto himself was gone and replaced by something false, replaced by something fictional, safe; boring.
Iruka couldnt psychoanalyze Naruto because it wasnt Naruto who turned up to their sessions, it was Arashi.
Naruto was locked up in his new identity too weak to be anything without Sasuke.
Naruto was refusing to move on and so the letter remained a secret, as hidden from the world as Sasukes real personality had been.
So, yeah, the letter lived in his bedside table.
Its presence as heavy as a lead ball around his waist in 20ft of water.
Naruto couldnt walk into the room without his eyes heading straight for it, it was a constant in his mind, forever pounding in his head in time with his heart beats, 'readmereadmereadme', it screamed at him untill he clambered out of bed and smoothed the thick paper out onto the sheets.
He knew it word for word now but he would still read it as if he was reading it for the first time.
He wasnt oblivious anymore, this time he knew it was wrong and messed up and so far beyond obssesive it wasnt even funny.
Sasuke was insane, cursed, a murderer, but Naruto was in love with him.
The letter read;
My Naru,
I miss you so much. This was never part of my plan, being seperated from you.
I told you, warned you, about the curse, but I'm not sorry for what I have done.
I do not apologize for doing the right thing.
You've woken up screaming in my arms way too many times because of your nightmares of that orphanage. Mr Watanabe deserved to die, he was a monster, he tortured you and i repaid the favour.
Sakura had made you cry aswell, more than once. You are too beautiful to ever be that sad, she had to pay. As for Kiba, him i do feel the slight sting of remorse for he was your friend but he had no rite to hurt you, no rite to damage what is mine, it was not his place. I will not stand for you coming to any harm because of some unimportant waste of space.
I thought you would understand, however the lack of visits makes me think you do not. Unless the police wont let you in which case I'm sure Itachi could help, he has people everywhere. He's helping me, Itachi, helping me to control the curse, he keeps telling me it was you that activated it, that my love for you was what activated it, his words, not mine. You make me strong, not weak, never weak.
From what I know of the system, the police are probably going to hide you from me. Do not fear though, y'know I could find you anywhere, you could be taken to the ends of the earth and I'd still find you, we're connected after all, our hearts beat as one.
I love you, now and forever.
I shall be seeing you soon, with all my foolish hope.
Yours always,
Sasuke Uchiha xxxx
Naruto's breathing was shallow and every tired breath burnt his lungs.
Today he was too weak to fight, today he was the last day he could stand being alone, today was the day he'd finally see his beloveded, the day he finally lives again.
With all his foolish hope.