I ate a light dinner at the café Parisian, I felt renewed at the revelation I had about Raoul. I suppose I knew it all along, but I didn't want to give him an answer and break his heart.

"Raoul" I glanced over at him from across the table "After we finish eating would you like to take a stroll along the deck?"

Raoul seemed to beam at the idea "Why yes Christine, it would be nice. Besides, you shouldn't be anywhere without an escort."

I scoffed a bit and looked at him "I'm quite eligible to walk around a ship without an escort. Besides, I'd love to show you the propellers. They are quite interesting." Raoul looked confused but shrugged it off. We all finished eating in silence.

After dinner my parents, Raoul and I dispersed on the deck. My parents went back to their staterooms. I was sure it was for alone time while Raoul and I talked.

"Christine." Raoul looked at me "We've walked at least a mile, please tell me what's on your mind." He shrugged and looked out at sea "it certainly wasn't to show me anything."

I inhaled sharply and paused to look at him. "Perhaps we should sit down and talk?" He nodded in agreement and led me over to two wooden chairs. A table sat neatly between the two and within a minute of sitting down, we were being serviced. "Nothing for us thanks" Raoul said to the lady. She curtsied slightly before leaving us alone "Christine."

I looked at him and grabbed his hands slightly "Raoul," I squeezed his hands and looked down at them intertwined "Remember when you used to escort me into the woods? You told me that you'd never let me go in there alone because of the lotte monsters that lived deep within them." I laughed slightly "Oh how I believed you. It wasn't until I was much older that I learned a lotte was a fisherman who fished with line."

Raoul laughed and nodded, his blond tresses bobbing up and down with his head movements "Yes, of course I do. I started calling you little lotte. Oh how you despised it."

I looked at him "But you kept at it!"

He laughed and swipped his thumbs across the top of my hands "Yes, because it pestered you."

I looked at him and gave him a slight smile "Raoul, you asked for my hand in the woods many years after you had told me that. I told you I'd think about it." Raoul's face went sollum "I have my answer" I paused, waiting for Raoul to say something but he didn't "I- I can't marry you Raoul. Sitting in the café, I just—" Raoul put a finger on my lips, just like Erik had did only twelve hours before.

"Shh." He looked at me "I always knew you'd say no. I knew you were too good to be true for me." He stroked my hair behind my ears "You have such a whimsical spirit Christine, you need someone who can follow your spirit wherever it takes you." He looked down in his lap "You're so filled with love Christine, and when you're in love, you'll know it." He chuckled a bit "but I already think you do."

I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my cheek "Thank you, so much for understanding Raoul." I looked at him, my cheek still resting in his hand "Promise me one thing?" He looked up at me "wherever our lives take us, promise to never lose touch. I value your friendship too much."

He looked at me and gently pulled his hand away "Always, Little Lotte." He pulled me into a hug and we embarrassed for a few minutes before he pulled away "Now, about those propellers?"

I chuckled and looked at him "I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else. They do however produce a lovely foam from the back of the ship." I pointed in the direction.

He stood up and offered his hand which I took for a moment "shall we walk?"

I nodded and we made our way towards the back of the ship. She really was grand in every sense of the word. The vast ocean made her feel small in comparison to what I had seen at the dock, but I knew she was large, and she was sturdy. She was unsinkable.

"So" Raoul said as we reached the end of the ship. He pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit it before he leaned over the side. It was the first time I had seen him smoke in public. He was normally very recluse about the whole thing "First Officer Holloway huh?" he looked over at me as he took a long drag off his cigarette.

I looked at the foam emitting from the back of the ship and blushed "It's nothing. We are friends." I looked over at Raoul who held an amused expression on his face. I laughed and rested my hands on the railing "Really!"

He looked at me and blew some smoke out "It doesn't seem like you two are friends. The way you two look at each other." He licked his lips and slipped the cigarette between them. "I do believe that your mother had said it you were in love with the man."

I laughed "That's absurd! I've known him for a mere forty-eight hours! You cannot fall in love with someone you barely know." I looked at him "Absurd." I laughed and looked out at the water. It wasn't completely impossible to love someone after forty-eight hours, my mother had done it with my father twenty five years earlier. I exhaled and then looked at Raoul "is it that obvious?"

He nodded "your mother said that you looked beautiful when you were in love. I suppose she whole heartedly believes that you're in love with me." He shrugged and took another long drawl.

I looked at him and touched his arm "Let's not tell my parent's until we dock. Please." I searched his face "please."

He nodded and I smiled slightly. Raoul and I stayed at the back of the ship until sunset where we both retired to our staterooms, each sworn to secrecy about the conversation that transpired after dinner. My mother decided that a simple black dress with beading would have been perfect for the night for me. In a way I had found it fitting as my physical relationship with Raoul was ending, but from the ashes, came new life. I felt anew. I felt free for the first time in a while.

After dinner I once excused myself because I fell ill with another headache. Or at least my mother had thought so. I slipped into the room and into my pajamas; soon afterwards my mother walked in and did the same thing she did the night before. After she was certain that I had fallen asleep she retired to her room and I waited until nine thirty before I stood up and slipped my robe on. I moved effortlessly in and out of the shadows through the hallways and into the kitchens. Antonio handed me a plate full of food, three different entrees, two sides and French ice cream. I quickly made my way back to where Erik and I had met the night before and slowly but surely made my way back up the ladder.

"Erik." I grunted as I once again pulled my body through the hole.

I heard a stirring from the front and then felt strong hands pull me up to my feet. "I was wondering if you got the clue."

I looked at him and smiled slightly "of course." I breathed heavily, my breath showing in the frigid night; my face already turning cold and my toes felt like they were going to fall off. "I—I couldn't wait to see-I" I swallowed "I couldn't wait to see the spectacular sight again"

Erik looked at me and then bent down quickly to grab the plate "Thanks for supper" he smiled and led me back to the front of the crow's nest. "Three different entrees?" he laughed as I handed him the silverware "how'd I get so lucky."

I looked at him and pulled my knees to my chest and my robe closed under my knees "Antonio" I stated.

Erik stared at me "Gracious man."

Erik placed his plate down on the floor of the crow's nest and wrapped the blanket around me again. This time he wrapped me up in his arms until I had stopped shivering before he had started eating his supper. I wondered if he felt the same way about me, but I also wondered a lot of things. I wondered how Erik had got the scar across his eye, the one at his bottom lip to the middle of his chin, how he knew Antonio and how he felt about me.

I looked at Erik's side profile and decided if there was any time to tell him how I had felt about him, it was now. If things went wrong I could simply jump, I was sure this high up on the mast the impact on the deck would kill me "I talked to Raoul today." Erik's head snapped over as if he had been waiting for this "I told him that I didn't want to marry him. I told him that…" I paused and thought "I didn't tell him anything actually, he cut me off. But he seemed understanding." I inhaled and aborted my eyes.

"Well, that's good. That he understands I mean."

I nodded "Yeah." I paused and waited until Erik was finished eating. I couldn't be brave, I didn't want to jump out of the crow's nest; I didn't want to die. But then I felt it, it was cool on my lips at first and tasted like the French ice cream I adored, and then it got warmer and the pressure on my lips increased, begging for me to part them, and I obeyed. My eyes had voluntarily closed at the beginning of what I was positive was heaven. I forced them open to see Erik pressed against my lips, one of his hands behind my head, holding me close and playing with my curls. I placed both of my arms around his neck and closed my eyes once again. Kissing Erik was unlike anything on this earth.

"Erik" I wimpered as he pulled away, I pulled at his lapels and pulled him back in for another kiss.

"Christine" He breathed heavily "I shouldn't have… it was out of line"

I pressed my forehead into his and shook my head "No, no it was completely in line." I leaned into him and dropped one and away from his neck and grabbed his hand "I promise." I laughed slightly and looked at him "If you must know, I was going to do something similar tonight." I smiled and kissed him gently "You just got to it first." I lied.

He looked at me and played with a curl before he tucked it behind my ear "is that why you brought me supper the past two nights?" he winked.

I laughed slightly "Yesterday was out of the kindness of my heart. Tonight was almost the same, but with a bit more of a motive." I laughed slightly and chewed on my bottom lip.

He laughed and looked at me "I knew it." He pulled me in for another kiss, his hands intertwining in my hair, my arms wrapping around him pulling him closer. Kissing Erik was like second nature. It felt natural with him, like it always must have been.

For the rest of the night Erik and I stole frozen kisses between sharing the French ice cream that I ate most of, and silences looking out into the night. I once again fell asleep, but Erik had made sure that I was awake to see the sunrise. It was beautiful just like the day before, except this time Erik and I welcomed April 13th with kisses and promises to see each other sometime that day.

"Well, Here's your stateroom" Erik looked at me after we both left the crows nest and made the way down to my room.

"See you soon?" I cupped his left cheek in my hand and rubbed my thumb across his textured cheek. He put a hand on mine and closed his eyes, I leaned in and planted a simple kiss on his lips.

He returned the kiss and nodded "Soon. I promise." He removed my hand from his face and kissed the top "I'd like to escort you to dinner tonight, if you'd let me."

I smiled and blushed a little "of course."

Erik gave a slight smile before he walked off. I slipped into the stateroom and made it to my bedroom door just in time.

"Christine, what are you doing up this early?" my mother yawed from her doorway.

I was almost positive I had been caught sneaking around after dark but thankfully she didn't notice "I was thirsty, thought the maid might be here, she's not." I yawned and stretched my arms.

My mother smiled slightly "well, your father decided that he'd like to swim today, you're coming with us." My mother moved like liquid and found her way towards me "when I got awful migraines when I was younger, physical exercise would make them feel better in the long run." My mother rubbed my cheek "you're freezing Christine."

I looked at her and shrugged "you're just really warm mother." I smiled and looked at her "Let me change, then we'll swim!" I turned around and shut my door, closing my eyes tightly trying to get the remaining sleep out of my eyes. I felt as if this was impossible and decided that I'd spend the rest of the day tired. I moved quickly and rummaged through my endless suitcases and found my bathing suit. It was a simple little frock. Shorts that went down to my knees and it filtered up to two straps at the top of the garmet. Thick blue horizontal stripes decorated the garmet, which looked just as hideous on as it did off. I hated the thing, it was worn and almost as old as I was. I had it for the past twelve years; my last growth spurt was when I was thirteen.

"Christine are you ready?" My mother tapped on the other side of the door.

"Yes, I'll be out in just a second." I called back and pulled my hair up in a style my mother used to put me in when I was a child. I pushed myself through the door and found my mother, father and Raoul all sitting in the sitting room waiting on me. I had to laugh slightly at the site that was before me. It seemed as if my whole family and Raoul had matching bathing outfits. "Look at you lot!" I laughed and spun around a little

Raoul laughed and stood up "decided to steal your stylish outlook, Christine." He winked and then looked back to my parents "shall we go?"

I nodded and followed my parent's and Raoul outside to the deck. We made our way to the swimming pool, which was flowing with life. Little children were laughing and jumping into the salt water declairing their jumps to be cannonballs. Women were lounging on the chairs and the men were in the pool with the children. I laughed slightly as I watched the tiny people move around effortlessly.

I followed my mother to a group of chairs and sat down. I noticed a little girl, about seven, walk up to the edge of the pool. She sat down on the edge and put her feet in the water but nothing else. I pardoned myself from my family and sat down next to her "afraid?" I questioned.

The little girl shook her head, her blond hair flapping against her face "no…"

I smiled slightly "Oh, it's okay to be afraid." I looked at her "I was afraid once too."

She looked up at me "You were?"

I nodded "Yes, it's only natural." I looked at the pool and slipped into it, the water coming up to under my bust. It was only five foot in the spot I was standing "I can teach you to swim. I've always wanted to teach someone." I giggled slightly "But everyone I know already knows how to swim."

The little girl nodded and laughed slightly "Okay! I'm Marabelle!"

I walked up to the edge "I'm Christine."

She smiled and put some of her blond hair behind her ears "I like that name!" her blue eyes beamed "You're really pretty."

I laughed slightly and looked at her "Thank you, you're really pretty yourself." I reached my arms out for the little girl. She looked at me apprehensively before she stood up and jumped in, just like the other children.

For the next three hours I stayed with the little girl named Marabelle. I learned all about her, that she was a third class passenger but she had met a really nice lady named Molly brown who offered to take her up here to swim. She also informed me about how she was from Belfast Ireland where titanic was built and how her daddy helped build it and how he was part of some special group. When asked I told Marabelle about where I grew up, London of course and she asked if I was married to the man I had walked in with. I told her no, that he was just a friend and she dropped the subject although she had a liking for Raoul. And somehow, through all the conversation I had taught Marabelle to swim. When Molly had summoned for the little girl, Marabelle wrapped her arms around my neck and told me goodbye. I couldn't help but smile and hope for the fact that one day I'd have a little girl just like marabelle.

"Who was that girl?" Raoul said as he made his way to me in the pool.

"Marabelle" I smiled and looked at him "She's a lovely young lady, full of life!" I laughed "I didn't know her but why shouldn't I have? It's how you make friends" I poked him in the side.

He laughed slightly and poked me back "You know Christine, you'd make a fine mother one day." He glanced at my parents who were ordering something from a boy in a white star line tux "Your parent's asked about your answer today." He swam to the end and I followed him, out of ear shot of my parents "I told them that we haven't talked about it. Your mother said that you had been acting suspicious, more so than usual. She knows you've been sneaking out at night, but she thinks it's to visit me." His grey eyes searched mine "You have to stop sneaking out."

I looked at him and sighed "I'm sorry Raoul." I looked at him "I'm honestly sorry I have to put you through this. It's not fair to you."

He looked at me and shook his head "No, what's not fair is if this guy is leading you on. Giving you false hopes."

I looked away and shook my head "I don't believe he is. I'd much rather not talk about this in the swimming pool." I looked over to the left of me "Kernal Gracie is right there." I jabbed my head over to the left "we both know he likes to talk."

Raoul let out a hearty laugh and moved back towards the end of the pool my mother and father were at "You're quite right, Christine. Quite right."

I laughed and leaned on the edge of the pool "Come in mother, the water isn't cold! Actually it's quite warm!"

My mother shook her head "No No dear. I'll stay right here." She covered her mouth, hiding a laugh "Oh! That rhymed!"

I laughed and hoisted myself out of the pool and moved towards my mother "oh mother" I smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek "Father, are you going to get in?"

He shook his head and laughed "no, I do believe Raoul and I are overdue for a card game down in the main dining room though."

Raoul looked shocked and then rushed out of the pool "Good day ladies!" he said hurridly and rushed out of the pool room at my father's heels.

I laughed slightly and looked at my mother "Mother… I have to tell you something." She made a noise which I took as go on "Well, yesterday I walked around the boat deck with First Officer Holloway." This sparked my mother's interest and she looked at me "And he had offered to escort me to dinner tonight. I accepted but I thought I'd pass that by you first hand."

My mother nodded slightly and looked back out into the pool "I suppose that is who you're sneaking off to see every night?" She looked back at me and I nodded "Well Christine, I can't say that I'm too happy with your behavior, sneaking off into the night. Things could happen, you could fall overboard and we'd never see you again child." My mother exhaled "But, I was just like you when I was younger, Although I never met your father on a ship." She winked at me "I could tell something was happening between you and first officer Holloway. I could see it in both of your eyes. What I don't understand Christine…" my mother pulled out a cigarette holder and placed a cigarette in the bottom of it. She lit it and took a long drag off it "is how you could find someone on a ship, and form a relationship in three days time."

I looked at her and shrugged "I don't know mother."

My mother sighed "Well, whomever you choose, Raoul or First Officer Holloway, I'm sure you'll make the right choice, and know that whatever path you choose in life, I'll always be there."

I smiled and leaned over wrapping my arms around her "Thanks mother." I inhaled and rubbed my palms on my knees "I think I'm going to go get ready for dinner."I smiled slightly and leaned over and kissed my mother on her cheeks "Thanks for understanding."

My mother smiled slightly and kissed my forehead "I know what it is like to be in love, Christine."

I smiled and left the swimming pool and made my way to my room to get ready for dinner. I noticed the calendar on the wall of my room that I had placed there during the beginning of our journey. April 13, 1912. I smiled slightly and crossed my lace covered arms in front of me. "Seven more days until we reach America" I mumbled, "Seven more days."