AN: Like I said, constructive criticism=good, flames=bad, only thing I own are my OC's, all copyrighted characters belong to Valve, no survivors(Nick, Ellis, Coach, Ro, Zoey, Francis, Bill, and Louis) will make a live appearance, though they may be mentioned. Same applies to CEDA and the Green Flu(names only), character designs(basic SI skeletons(what they look like)) and anything else I forgot to mention that is in the game that I didn't mention. That covers legal shtuff, now on to the story!

Also, *(insert word(s) here)* = action, such as burping, snoring, farting, etc.

Earlier, in one of the rooms on the 8th floor...

Ted carefully slid out of bed, trying not to wake Rhea from her post-sex snooze. After putting on a pair of pants, he grabbed his smokes, cleaned and rerolled his tongue, and quietly exited the room, slowly closing the door behind him. Once the door was shut, he casually walked over to one of the many windows nearby and deftly lit a smoke, turning half of it to ash in one puff, slowly releasing the smoke from his now extraordinarily-sized lungs, turning the massive cough lurking in his throat into a sigh of relief. Looking down, he saw his friend Carl hopping from roof to roof with something on his back. Finishing his cigarette, Ted wrapped his tongue around the railing and lowered himself seven floors before recoiling his tongue in his gut. Casually walking up to the door, he waited for the knock he knew would come. He didn't have to wait long, because his friend was already there by the time he'd reached the door.

When he opened it, his one good eye immediately drifted to the item in Carl's arms... and his tongue damn near fell out. Usually, Carl brought home some piece of technology from before the infection, or food and clothes for them to use. But him bringing home a girl was the last thing Ted ever expected him to do. To be honest, Ted expected Carl to bring one of the Commons up to his room, use it as needed, then throw it out the window, or walk it out the door, which would be far more acceptable than what Theo did. But no, Carl brought home a beautiful young girl with ash blond hair, barely any flesh to her slender frame, and claws the length of knives. Looking up at his friend, he saw the look he gave the girl, and decided against questioning him... for now. When Carl went upstairs, Ted closed the door, calmly walked over to the couch, sat down, and said, "Frank... I think Carl has a girlfriend now."

"Now what makes-*burp* 'Scuse me. What makes you think that?"

"The fact that he just took her upstairs, carrying her as if she were a bride. Looked like she was sleeping, and quite happily, too."

"Well that's good news. At least-*burp* 'Scuse me. Least now Rhea has someone to talk to about... whatever it is girls talk about. I'm gonna go check on Theo, Chuck, and Bob."

"Bob left earlier this morning. Said something about riding. He's probably off annoying the Commons or just having fun."

"*buuuuuuurrrp* DAMN that was big. 'Scuse me. Let me know when he gets back, cause I need his help with something."

"What'cha need him for? Holiday decorations? Cooking dinner? Putting some rancid shit in a sack, lighting it on fire near Theo and running while he stomps it out?"

"That last one was NOT me! How many times do I have to tell you guys? Anyway, I need Bob for the first two and something special. Now... um... do whatever, I have work to- *fart* 'Scuse me. I have work to do. Catch you later man."

"Good GOD man, what the fuck have you been eating? Put a fuckin' cork in it, light a match, open a window, do something! Ugh, smells like rancid cheesewurst wrapped in rotten guacamole that's been left to sit in the sun for three days. *cough* *cough* I swear, if your ass was any mor rotten, all that would show would be your hip bones."

"Believe me, Ted. What you smell now isn't anywhere near as bad, or as horrifying, as what I, and everyone else in this building, hear at night." And with that, Frank left the room, leaving Ted to wallow in the realization that his late night romps aren't as quiet as he thought, and because Frank knew his farts were, indeed, quite nasty.

AN: And that's chapter two. For those of you confused by the names, here's a list:

Bob:Jockey, Theo:Tank, Ted:Smoker, Frank:Boomer, Chuck:Charger, Rhea:Spitter.

And the Commons are just that... the Common Infected. And, for those of you wondering, what Theo does to the Commons when he feels the need is gonna come up soon! Don't worry, Jess will meet everyone soon enough. Chapter three coming soon!