11:30
My arm wrapped around Erik's bare chest, my head resting in the crook of his arm, which was wrapped loosely around my shoulders. I snuggled up closer to Erik's warm body and tucked my cold toes under in between his legs. He protested in his sleep, but eventually gave up the fight, and succumbing to more sleep. I smiled slightly and placed a kiss on his cheek before I slipped out of the bed and slipped into Erik's shirt that laid discarded on the floor. I moved out of the bedroom and into the sitting room and turned on a desk lamp and looked around. There were papers strewn along the desk, more clothes were discarded along the floor which prompted a small giggle from me. I half wondered what the other people who were staying near Erik had thought of what we had done, if they had heard us, which I was sure they did. Another giggle escaped my lips as I made my way towards the fireplace, which was as cold as my toes. I slipped down to my knees and leaned on my hands looking into the fire place, I had seen my father make a fire, but looking at it now it had seemed foreign to me.
And then I heard it, or rather, didn't hear it. The engines had stopped. I leaned back on my heels and listened closely. I heard the sound of Erik's snores but nothing else. The engines on the first night on Titanic had kept me awake most of the night, as I got used to it their presence went unnoticed, until now. I pushed my body up off the floor and strode back into the bedroom, trying to stay quiet, trying to listen for the roar of the engines to start back up at any time. I sat on the bed for a few minutes before I had decided that waking Erik would be best.
"Erik." I whispered. He grunted and turned over "Erik" I said a little louder, my hands touched his arm and gave him a gentle shake "Erik, wake up."
"mmm?" he said sitting up rubbing his face "what is it, Christine?" I placed my fingers on my lips and he shook his head he listened for a while and shook his head "I don't hear anything."
I looked at him and nodded "Exactly" I looked at him "if we are to make it by April 20th, why have the engines stopped? They have no reason to stop."
He laughed slightly and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down wrapping me in a warm embrace "Everything is fine Christine, I promise." He smiled slightly and placed a kiss on my nose.
I smiled slightly and snuggled up close to him "Perhaps I'm just over thinking things?" I looked up at him and watched him nod "You're right." I pulled away from his embrace and leaned on my elbow "Could you check though?"
He sighed and threw the covers off him "I promise Christine, everything is fine." He pulled on his pajamas that were laying carelessly by his side of his bed "but if it makes you feel better, I'll go check."
I smiled and stood up standing on my tippie toes to place a kiss on his lips "Thank you." He smiled and yawned before he walked out of his cabin. I placed my body back on the bed and sat there with my legs criss crossed, hands resting on one of my ankles, waiting on a word from Erik.
It seemed like hours before he had came back with a worried expression on his face "Nothing to worry about Christine, Just like I told you."
I looked at him and stood up "I don't believe that." I chewed on my bottom lip "Erik, what's happening, what's going on?"
He ran a hand down his face and made his way to his wardrobe pulling out his officer dress "Titanic has hit an iceberg." He looked at me, he sure wasn't going to sugar coat it "Thomas Andrews was talking to Captain Smith when I entered, he gave her two hours tops to stay afloat." He walked over to me and placed a hand on the side of my cheek, I clasped a hand to his and leaned into his hand "Christine, please, get dressed. We'll go up on the deck together."
I looked at him, my stomach was churning, my head was pounding and my breath had quickened and I felt like I was going to faint once again. I kicked my corset under the bed and slipped the chiffon dress over my head, Erik was behind me within seconds and slipped the zipper up but then was once again dressing himself. He seemed distant, worried and I felt like he was afraid. I pulled my knickers on under my dress and slipped my pantyhose on and then my shoes grabbing the pocket watch last.
12:00
Erik and I made our way up to the deck my arms wrapped around my body instantly as I felt how cold the air was. I followed closely behind Erik and as we made it to a life boat I gasped "My mother, Erik I have to get my mother, My father too!" I looked at him and grabbed onto his lapels "I promise, I'll be back!" I placed my lips tightly on his and before he could protest, I made my way down the corridors to the stateroom that my father and Raoul shared.
I let my tiny fists slam on the wooden door "Open up…" I whispered waiting a minute before banging on the door again "Open up!" I banged harder and harder until my hand was red. I exhaled and shoved my shoulder into the door trying to open it, but it was no use. A sharp pain slipped through my shoulder and I gasped slightly grabbing my shoulder tightly. I pulled the pocket watch out and looked at it, 12:15 I shook my head and placed the pocket watch back into my bust and moved onto my stateroom. I grabbed my shoulder as I moved down the hallway and to the stateroom. I knocked on the door even with the cringe in my shoulder "Mother!" I called "Mother open up please!" I breathed heavily and banged on the door again.
My mother opened the door and I rushed in and into my room "Christine, what has gotten into you?" my mother looked at me and then at the time on the mantle "It's 12:25 in the morning! Why were you banging on the door, why didn't you just use your key, and were you just getting in?" My mother looked at me "Where have you been?"
I looked at her and reached for the life vests and handed one to my mother "I was with First officer Holloway." I looked at her "he told me that the ship has struck ice." I ran into my room and grabbed a coat and slipped it on buttoning the gold buttons.
My mother sighed and leaned against the doorway "A man had came by not to long ago telling me about a" she paused and looked at me "About the captain saying that he wanted to do a lifeboat drill and that there was nothing to worry about, that's why they stopped the engines."
I looked at her "mother, First Officer Holloway has told me that he spoke to Thomas Andrews.." I looked at her my eyes searching her face "mother please, this is serious. Two hours is all he gave the ship, in two hours, she'll be at the bottom of the ocean." I moved my mother into her room and grabbed her jacket "And mother, there aren't enough life boats for everyone on board." I inhaled sharply as a pain shot through my shoulder "Please, we have to get you to a boat."
My mother looked at me as she slipped gloves on her hands "What about you Christine? Why won't you get on a boat?"
I slipped a life jacket on over her head and made sure that it was secure "Because I have to find father." I handed her, her hat and walked her out the door.
"I'm coming with you."
I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook my head "No mother!" I practically yelled "You must get to the deck! You must get to a life boat! Please!"
"I'm coming with you." My mother demanded again
I looked at her "go to the deck!" I said as I ran away "We will meet you up there! I promise!" I rushed through the corridors through throngs of panicking people. I made my way back to the stateroom my father was supposed to be occupying. I knocked at the door again and waited for a few minutes before I thought of where my father could have been; the smoking room. I breathlessly ran down the hall and down the steps, tripping a few times on my skirts.
"father!" I called as I rushed through the dining room. Men were walking around the dining room still dressed in their best. "Father!" I yelled again as I searched one of the smoking rooms, it housed a few men, none of them my father. I gave them an apology and rushed through the rest of the rooms, almost giving up hope until I got to the last room.
I saw the curly haired gentleman sitting next to the golden blond boy and relief flooded over my body. "Christine?" My father looked at me.
I ran to him, wrapping my arms tightly around him, ignoring the searing pain in my shoulder "Papa" I whispered then I remembered why I had searched for him so frantically for the past half hour "Father, Raoul…" I looked at them both "The ship is sinking." I looked at him "First officer Holloway told me so, we must get to a life boat."
My father looked at me and gave me a small sad smile "I know, Christine. Raoul and I had seen it when we were out on the deck."
I looked at him and grabbed his hand "Please papa, Let's go to a boat! Please!" I looked at Raoul "Come on, the both of you!"
I spent the better half of twenty minutes trying to coax my father and Raoul to put on a life vest and come to the deck. I had a feeling that both of the men were feeling well with the spirits that were still flowing graciously. I emerged onto the deck with the two men in tow, but I was greeted by freezing cold water at my feet, which I had figured sobered my father right up as he decided to take the lead and rush Raoul and I up to dry dock. I turned my neck just enough to see that the bow of the ship had been swallowed by the water.
My stomach turned and I looked at my father, who now instead of that sad little smile he had on twenty minutes earlier, was full of determination. "Father…" I looked at him "Father I have to find someone!" for the first time I realized that my father had taken my hand and was dragging me along "I have to find First officer Holloway!"
1:15 am
My father looked at me "Christine, we have to get you on a boat."
"You're father is right Christine." Raoul mumbled behind me, I was sure that he was still feeling the effects of the spirit.
I looked at Raoul before I looked at my father "please, let me look for him!" I looked at my father "Please." My eyes searched his and I grabbed his other hand, a slight laugh escaped my lips as if I didn't believe what I was about to say "He's my husband. I married him yesterday and I have to find him."
"Your husband?" My father looked flabbergasted and laughed slightly as well "Why didn't you tell me Christine?"
I shook my head "I was, when we got to new york." I looked at my father "Please, help me find him. He has to be around here somewhere, around the boats, he's in charge of safety."
My father nodded "Remind me to have a serious talk with the both of you when we dock in new York." He nodded again and then pulled me up the deck, Raoul in tow.
"Erik!" I called as we passed a throng of officers "Erik!" I called again. I got distracted as I passed the orchestra playing on the deck, cheery tunes to keep us all sane I believed. I gave them a small smile and was whisked away by my father. I looked back at the men who were now playing an even cheerier tune, which I thought was unimaginable.
"Christine?" I heard erik's voice which broke me from my thoughts about the orchestra.
"erik!" I let go of my fathers hand and wrapped my arms tightly around the man "Erik!" I smiled again and placed both of my hands on the sides of his head, planting a kiss on his lips "Erik, you're safe!" I wrapped my arms around him tightly again.
He kissed me back, and looked at me "Where is your life jacket?"
I looked at Erik "I forgot it in a rush to look for my father." I looked over at my father before I looked at Erik.
He shook his head "no need to worry about that now, you need to get into the boat Christine."
I looked at him and shook my head "No."
My father walked up and stood next to Erik "Christine, you should listen to your husband." Erik looked at him, slightly surprised, but didn't say a word.
"Not without you three!" I looked at the men who were now surrounding me, my voice turning shaky "Please, get into the boat with me!"
"There are boats waiting for men on the other side" Raoul looked at me and smiled slightly as he stepped forward "I just heard a man say something about it. Your father, Erik and I will board a boat over there."
Erik and my father nodded "Yes, Christine the quicker you get on this boat, the quicker we can get on that one." My father smiled slightly.
"I'm not getting on!" I protested.
"That boat isn't sinking Christine, This one is." Erik swooped me up and placed me on the inside of the life boat.
"Erik!" I felt warm tears fall down my frozen cheeks "papa!" I reached out to the three men "Raoul." My chin quivered as the three men moved around me "Please, get in the boat!" I begged "please!" I coughed slightly and realized how parched I had become, how defeated I sounded and how my voice was hoarse.
"Christine, it's fine, we promise." My father smiled slightly.
I looked at the men and tried to grab on to all three of them "I'm frightened." Tears poured out of my eyes.
"It's okay to be frightened child." My father was pushed slightly and he grabbed my hand tighter "Remember what you used to tell me when you were younger? When you were frightened?" I shook my head no and my father laughed slightly "You always said it was okay to be scared, just a little bit." He looked at me "and then you'd sing a song, what song was it?"
I wrapped my shaky fingers around my father's hand and pierced my lips together, trying to stifle a cry "Come Josephine, in my flying machine." I mumbled.
My father smiled, I felt his hands shake against mine "yes, that's it. Tell me, how did it go?"
I looked up at him and swallowed hard, my eyes still pouring out steaming hot liquid. I breathed out and a white puff seemed to escape "C-Come Josephine, in my flying Machine and it's up she goes, up she goes…" I closed my eyes and quickly opened them as I felt the life raft start to slowly lower "No!" I grabbed onto my fathers hand tighter "No!" I screamed "Please! No!" My father let go of my hand and blew me a kiss. Erik stood by my father, a silent tear streamed down his face "stop!" I looked up at the boat "Stop the boat! Please!" tears streamed down my face and I clawed at the side of the ship, trying to find a grasp "Please! My father! My husband! My friend! Please! They are up there!" I wailed as I was pulled back into the boat by a large lady, her arms wrapped around me keeping me away from the side.
1:45 am
The boat rocked gently in the water and I looked up once again to see three figures looking down at me. Tears flowed freely down my face as the lady kept her arms around me tightly. I forced my eyes open, I forced myself to watch the large ship as we rowed away from it. I took in the sight of it, its bow was in the water, as if the ocean had been hungry. I watched figures jump from the ship and winced as I heard their bodies hit the hard oceanic surface.
2:05 am
My body shook, and my head reeled, I wanted to get back on the ship, I wanted to be with my father and Erik and yet I was so far away. I watched a final boat lower into the water, full of women and children I suspected. I had learned myself that there wasn't going to be a boat on the other side for the men, that Raoul had lied to me, just to get me on the boat, that Erik and My father had agreed with them, for my safety. I wondered about my mother and what life boat she had managed to escape to. I thought about marabelle, I wondered if she had made it to a boat, I secretly wished she did.
My eyes flickered to the distress signals up in the sky. They were beautifully haunting and the only thing that took my eyes off the sight was the flickering lights aboard the Titanic. I held my breath for what seemed like forever until they had came back on. I breathed a sigh of relief and then watched them go back out.
2:20 am
The lights played with my emotions for fifteen minutes until they had finally went out for good. I didn't see it, but I had heard it. It was ear shattering, gut wrenching and heartbreaking. The sound of twisted medal tore through the silence of the boat and the sound of the boat crashing down onto the water made even the officer on board the ship cringe. I was certain that the ship had split into two. The stars provided light, but it wasn't helpful for as far out as we were. I felt too numb to scream; I felt as if the people in the water were doing enough of it for me.
After twenty minutes of thrashing around and screaming in the water, it went calm. It was then that I looked at the ladies in the boat before I made a rash decision; I fell out of the boat. I screamed at how cold the water was, how it felt like I was being pierced by millions of tiny needles. I paddled away from the boat, much to the protests of the ladies and the officer safely inside. My limbs felt like they were going to freeze, and I was sure my toes already had frozen but I wasn't going to stop until I had found Erik, as I was rest assured my father was already safely in a boat.
"Erik!" I croaked out and paddled past a man. I paused slightly ad moved over to his frozen corpse and removed the life vest and slipped it on me. It provided with a little bit of warmth but it was taken away from me as I started to paddle once again. At every man I had seen, I stopped, wondering if it was Erik, and every man I had stopped at I prepared myself. "Erik!" I choked out and spit some sea water out of my mouth. I coughed and stopped paddling in the water, I felt as if I had gone a thousand miles, my limbs were frozen, my hair had grew icecicles on the ends and my teeth were chattering. I felt as if I had made my way where Titanic would have been laying on the ocean floor as a table generously popped up next to me. I grabbed onto it as if my life depended on it, and in a way it did. I inhaled the cold air and coughed slightly before I moved on.
I rested my face on the table and just gave up. I thought about how I should have stayed in the boat, how it was the logical thing to do. But I didn't see Erik, or my father, or even Raoul and I was giving up hope. I had lost hope in the middle of the icy north Atlantic seas and I decided that I was going to die out here with the hope I had lost, and other people who had lost hope as well. I lifted my face slightly and spotted it in the moonlight. A boat had been overturned and men were sitting on the top of it.
And for the first time since I entered the water, hope had returned.