Months past and Teresa was eventually aloud home on a permanent basis, it was a squeeze, the four children shared a room, the girls in one bed and the boys in another. There were families just as poor as in Ireland in America and the children had friends who shared a bed with siblings, parents and grandparents. They wee luckily not one of hose families. She slept alone and though sometimes one of the children would ask to come in, usually Allen or Teresa, the bed felt empty. She didn't want to admit it to anyone but at night she would pile the blankets together and wrap her arms and legs round them, as if they were Jim.
Her stomach grew ominously larger and at first she resented it. It wasn't until her first hospital visit alone since the kids started coming, that Mary realised what this tiny life was. It was a gift from God and, more importantly, Jim. She had gotten to the point now where she had to start making plans for the arrival. Connie had gifted her a crib, with money she didn't have, her sister and Jim's mother both sent money, which they also hand none to spare, and she was so touched. Her evenings where spent knitting and even the children offered to help, though there was no real way they could. The arrival itself had been planned at least; she had made friends with some of the nurses during her visits to the hospital and had asked one of the trainee midwives, Eve, to be her birthing partner, she needed some experience and lord knew Mary had enough of it for the both of them. And Connie would look after the children upstairs.
The only thing she needed now was a name. If it were a girl she wanted to call it Cathleen but she knew Jim had always loved the name Saoirse. If it where a boy Jim would have called it Fionn but she hated it, since she was a girl she had always loved the name James. Jim was a James and so was his father, he hated it, and that's why he always insisted on being Jim. But Jim isn't here, would his opinion really matter? She scalded herself for thinking that. Of coarse it matters, he's it's Da, and just because he's not here now doesn't mean he wont be.