Jim was not there the day James Finley Maloney arrived. She finally understood how many of the mothers she spoke to felt. It was not considered right to have a man in the delivery room but that never stopped Jim, the midwife was too late when Teresa was born and Jim had to step up, since then he had been there for all the other births. James was smaller than Teresa and Sean at four ponds three ounces, only an ounce bigger than Allen and three more than Melissa, yet he had hurt the most. There were no reassuring words in her ear, no strong hand to hold, no soft kisses in her hair. Obviously Eve did as much of the first two as she could but she was too busy with the business end to offer the sort of support Jim had with the youngest three. There were no kisses, the hand holding was fleeting and not as firm and the words of encouragement didn't sound as comforting.
Little James was placed on her chest, wrapped up but was yet to be cleaned. Mary looked down at the tiny babe and felt that overpowering rush of love. She had gone through all the motions during pregnancy dread, at having another drain on her income as well as a drain on her physical strength, worry, that she would not be able to look after it properly, thankfulness, at a gift from Jim, grief for the reminder of the husband she could loose at any moment and eventually guilt, at all the previously mentioned emotions.
Now he was not a drain, he was properly looked after and he was more than a gift, he was her child. That tiny face, with that wrinkly forehead and strong protruding chin all toped off by wisps of muddy blonde hair complete with bold patch. He was the spitting image of his father. "Hello little one, I'm your Mammy." She cooed rocking him slightly. Eve came to take him off her, to clean the two of them up before any of the children came in and she reluctantly let her, too tired to argue.
Needless to say they were all instantly besotted with their little brother, none more than Teresa. She had spent the last few months talking to the bump and every other sentence was 'when I have children'. Mary couldn't help but smile, she was exactly the same, her sister Molly had always complained about cooking and sewing and had even struggled when she first had little George but from the day her parents gave her her first doll Mary was a natural mother. She could see a slight glint of sadness in her eyes as she held her new born brother and guessed it had something to do with his striking resemblance to his father. There was also a sadness to Connie, she knew that she had longed for a child but it was not to be, her husband had passed away before she got the chance. "What a handsome wee fellow you are (she laughed) I can't work out if you look like a really youngun' or a really old man." Seeing the look of pride, joy and sadness on the face of the women she had come to view as a mother figure made her truly grateful for all she had, even if they were a pain sometimes.
It took awhile to get the children to go to bed that night, they were too excited to settle. It was only once she had gotten into bed herself, James safely tucked into her arm suckling at her breast, that she felt well and truly ant peace with herself and the world around her. She smiled. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she well and truly smiled.